Twilight's Serenade (35 page)

“I can have all of my things here,” Laura declared. “I can even have my dollhouse right there by the window.”

They continued the tour and came upon the largest of the three bedrooms next. Laura took one peek inside and announced, “This is your room, Mama. You and Papa are two people, so you need a big room.”

Yuri chuckled. “I like sharing a little room with your mama, but I think you’re right. She would like all this extra space. Wouldn’t you?”

Britta glanced around, noting the wallpaper. It was done in the French toile de Jouy style with country life detailed in blue against the white background. “It looks like cloth on the walls.”

“We could change it,” Yuri told her. “I mean if you don’t like it.”

“It’s lovely. A bit . . . well, overly busy in a sense.” She shrugged. “But it wouldn’t keep me from loving this room all the same.”

“I’m glad to hear it. So you like the place?”

She heard the eagerness in his tone. “I do. Very much. How soon can we move?”

Laughing, Yuri pulled her into his arms. “Right away. I just need to finalize the purchase.”

“I suppose I’ll start packing.”

“Come on,” Laura called. Her impatience was clear. “You haven’t seen the baby’s room yet.”

Britta stiffened in Yuri’s arms. “It’s all right,” he whispered. “Don’t let it ruin this for you.”

“It just took me by surprise. That’s all.” He stepped back and took hold of her hand. “I’m sure a lot of things will do that in the future, but we’ll face it together. Deal?”

She nodded. “Deal.”

That night as Britta tucked Laura into bed, she couldn’t help but remember the child’s enthusiasm about the house. “I’m so glad you liked the new place your father found for us.”

“It’s really big. I don’t like that Grandma and Grandpa can’t come too, but Papa said I could come visit them here.”

“Of course. And they will come see us, as well.” She kissed Laura on the forehead and reached for the lamp.

“Mama, can we have another baby soon?”

Britta felt her stomach tighten. She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to be able to tell Laura that her heart simply wasn’t ready for the risk again, but in doing so she might well steal her daughter’s peace of mind. After all, Laura had accepted Darya’s absence better than Britta had imagined. Laura still missed Darya and talked about her often, but she seemed at ease with her memories and the fact that these things happened.

“Babies are a gift from God.” Britta tried to choose her words very carefully. “Such things are up to God.”

“Then I’m going to pray for a new baby.” Laura’s simple statement seemed to settle the matter. “Grandma says God can do anything. So I’m going to ask Him for a new sister.”

“Not a brother?” Britta’s nervousness brought a tremor to her words.

“No, not yet. I want a sister first and then a brother.” Laura suppressed a yawn and closed her eyes. “Then we can have another girl after that.”

Shaking her head, Britta walked to the door. “Good night, my sweet. You sleep well.”

“I will when I’m done praying.”

Britta stepped into the hall and pulled the door closed behind her. She drew a deep breath and glanced to her own bedroom door. Soon she would retire for the evening and find herself alone with Yuri. She smiled and thought again of Laura. Maybe it was time to let go of the past and move forward. Maybe having concerns about the future was just the way it would always be. After all, she couldn’t predict the days to come. She couldn’t tell whether there would be good weather or bad, prosperity or desolation.

Glancing at the ceiling, Britta thought of her daughter’s faith. “She puts me to shame. But I am trying, Lord. I am trying.”

Chapter 28

February 1907

D
alton took the opportunity of delivering the mail to his parents in order to speak to his mother about Marston. He’d waited for a few days, just in case Marston was right and on the mend once again. However, his brother’s condition had worsened.

“It’s certainly a wonderful surprise to see you here,” his mother declared. “Your father and I were just making preparations for our trip to see Kjerstin and Matthew.”

“I knew you were, and that made visiting you all the more important. There’s a letter here from my sister.”

Lydia took the missive from him and tore it open. “Oh dear.” She continued scanning the single sheet of paper. “She’s already had the baby. He came early, but seems to be doing all right.” She glanced up at Dalton with a smile.

“What are they calling him?” Dalton asked.

“Orren. Orren Josiah Carson.” She laughed. “An impressive name for one so little.”

“I’m sure he’ll grow into it,” Dalton countered. He squared his shoulders and reached out to take hold of his mother’s arm. “There is another reason I’m here.”

“You heard that I had made a pie last night?” She pointed in the direction of the kitchen. “I have plenty left over, if you’re hungry.”

“Sounds good, but no. That’s not why I came. Please sit with me a moment.”

She frowned but allowed him to lead her to the fireplace and her rocking chair. “This must be important.”

“It is. It has to do with my brother.”

Her frown deepened. “Marston? How can that possibly involve me?”

Dalton waited until she sat down, then pulled an ottoman up close to her. “He’s dying—the doctor confirmed this with me.”

“He already mentioned that on his first trip here.”

“Yes, but I think he used that only as an excuse. He doesn’t believe it. He thinks the doctors are wrong, and because of this, he’s in denial. He can’t face his own mortality.”

“Of course not—he didn’t dictate the terms. If he’s looking for sympathy or someone to care for him now, he’s come to the wrong place.”

“He’s not asking for anything.” Dalton tried to think of how he might appeal to his mother’s heart. “But I am.”

She eyed him for a moment, then shook her head. “If it has to do with Marston, I’m not sure I can help you.”

“I’ve been trying to talk to him about God, Mother. I don’t want him to die without knowing and accepting forgiveness. Yours, as well as God’s.”

She placed her hand to her mouth as if to stop any further comment. For a moment, Dalton simply focused on the rug on the floor, pleading with God to open his mother’s heart. He didn’t want to upset her, but Dalton knew that, for her own sake, she really needed to lay this affair to rest, once and for all.

He looked up. “Marston will be dead in a matter of weeks. Maybe days. I think for your own peace of mind, as well as to show true forgiveness to him, it would be good to speak to him.”

Still she said nothing. Dalton wished his father were there. Surely he could help Mother realize the importance of what he was asking.

“Mother, you once told me that God had allowed you to forgive Marston. Just go to him and tell him the truth. Tell him you forgave what he did. Tell him that he needs to make his heart right with God. Mother, we can’t just escort him to the door of hell and say nothing.”

She was silent for a moment. “Why me? Why is it so important that I go to speak with him?”

“Because when I mentioned God and His forgiveness, Marston brought up the fact that you hadn’t forgiven him—that God wasn’t powerful enough to bring that about. I know it’s like he’s testing us, but what can it hurt to be honest?”

“I can hardly pretend the memories of the past no longer exist. I have forgiven, but I haven’t forgotten.”

“Of course not, but you can prove to him that they no longer control your life. Mother, you told me long ago that God had allowed you to put my father’s actions to rest. That you were able to let go of the past. I’m merely asking you to do the same with Marston—and then to tell him you’ve done it. I want very much for Marston to make his heart right with God before he dies.”

“You shame me,” she said, reaching out to touch Dalton’s face. “The man has harmed you as much as anyone, yet you are worried for his soul.” She drew a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. “Although it will be very hard for me, I will go with you. I will speak to him.”

“Thank you. This means the world to me.”

“I can see that much. I am truly humbled at the concern you have for your brother. He doesn’t deserve your compassion.”

“None of us deserved God’s, either,” Dalton said, “but we are so much better off for it. I want everyone to know that blessing.”

“What a fine day it is,” Britta declared. She and Yuri had decided to take Laura on a hike up the mountain. The weather had been clear for three days now—a remarkable phenomenon in Sitka. The trails had dried, and the sun had managed to warm the air quite nicely. Britta intended to take advantage of the moment.

“In another few weeks, it will be warm like this all the time,” Yuri said, linking his arm with hers.

“And we shall be in our new house,” Britta added.

Laura ran on ahead of them enjoying the excitement of exploration. From time to time, she stopped and picked up a rock or a piece of wood to examine it. The child reminded Britta of herself at that age.

“I did manage to obtain permission to begin painting and making other changes to the place.”

Britta nodded. “I was hopeful you could. There’s so much I’d like to do. I want to paint the kitchen—especially the cupboards. The kitchen is so dark. I figure if we paint the cupboards white and maybe use a light green on the walls, it will brighten things considerably. Mother even spoke of showing me how to do some decorative stenciling.”

They approached the trail that led to where Britta’s little brother was buried. “Let’s go this way,” she encouraged. She wasn’t sure why she wanted to revisit the spot, but it seemed the right thing to do.

“We’ll have to be careful of getting too far off the main trail. The snow is still deep in the higher elevations.”

“I don’t plan to go far. There’s a little meadow up ahead. There’s a rocky wall, and it’s there that my mother and father buried my little brother.”

Yuri met her gaze. “Are you sure you want to go there?”

Britta turned to the path ahead. “Yes. I’m feeling a little stronger every day. My mother told me that time would distance the pain. Visiting my brother’s grave seems proof of that. I remember my mother’s strength there, and it gives me hope.”

The climb steepened and grew a bit muddier. Snowmelt had dampened the trail, despite the dry weather. Laura slipped and landed out flat on her stomach. She got up and turned in muddy misery to reveal the front of her dress.

“Don’t fret. We’ll wash it up when we get home. Go ahead and play,” Britta encouraged. She looked up at Yuri, who was trying to hold back a chuckle, and added, “I came home dirtier than that on many an occasion.”

“I remember,” he said fondly. “You were quite the little mountain goat, as I recall.”

“I was not. I was merely adventurous. I actually considered joining an exploration team to study the vast far north. Did I ever tell you?”

He laughed. “No. I would have remembered that.”

“Well, it’s true. I went to speak with one of the men leading an expedition out of Vancouver. He was not impressed that I had grown up in Alaska, nor that I was a woman. He did, however, rethink my application when he learned that my parents were quite wealthy. In the end, however, he turned me down. He feared that I might be desperately wounded during the trip.”