Tragedy's Gift: Surviving Cancer (9 page)

When the music started, I took a deep breath and at that point I pretended I was on stage in front of the thousands of fans I had imagined all of those nights during chemo. I sang and I gave them what I knew I had in me and I didn’t hold anything back. When I finished my first song, the room was filled with dead silence. My heart was pounding in my chest. My mind was like a runaway freight train. “They hated me, I could have done better, and David is going to kill me.” Just then I heard the music to my second song begin and there I was again singing like I was the biggest thing to hit the music industry. No one had any reaction, just poker faces and dead silence. I was thinking that I was finished, but I continued on in this same manner until all of the songs were finished.

When I sang my last note, I hopped down off the stage and went to where the refreshments were. Feeling nervous and defeated, I was surprised when Kyle Lehning came up behind me, shook my hand and said, “Let’s do this.”

I wasn’t sure what that meant, but as I glanced over at David and saw that he was smiling, I knew things went well. Then it hit me, I was right in the middle of realizing my biggest dream. I was getting my record deal after all!

I ran out into the back alley and called my parents. I was so excited I didn’t want anyone to see me jumping around like a lunatic among the dumpsters and empty crates as I told my father all about every detail of my incredible experience.

The Real Journey Begins

After listening to literally thousands of songs and weeding them down to what we felt was the best of the best, was it time to record.

I remember the first day I went into the studio to record my first album. I was the one who got to be the fan. The best studio musicians available were all there. I asked each of them for an autograph. They looked at me like I was crazy, but I wanted to have memories of this day that I dreamed of for so long throughout my illness. Everyone there was important to me. I even asked the studio assistant who filled the coffee, hot chocolate and snacks to sign an autograph. Long days in the studio concentrating and trying to get everything just right would be unbearable if the coffee and snacks ran out! That assistant was very important to me!

Each time I entered the studio I wanted to be sure that every song I performed was one that I loved and could see myself singing hundreds of times over as though it was the first time. I wanted to make sure that all of the never-ending hours on the road; radio station interviews and concerts would be fresh every time. I always wanted my fans to get my best!

The road to getting fans was the hardest part. Once my first album was finished and everything sounded great, the craziness started. Now it was time to get the radio stations across America to play my first single, "Nobody Knows.” I was an unknown artist, the radio programmers didn't know me, and no one ever wants to be first to try out an unknown. I spent months on the road going to radio stations doing interviews and meeting the programmers and DJ's. It was exciting and exhausting at the same time. The radio turned out to be very friendly to me. 105.1 in Sacramento showed their support from the very beginning, even before I had a major label deal. They were the first station to ever play, “Nobody Knows” on the airwaves. The morning team of “Pat and Tom” at KNCI were very good to me then and now. Hearing myself on the radio was a joy that doesn’t get any better!

Before I knew it, I was on almost every country radio station and television talk show. I was making guest appearances on TV, doing many live performances, and was nominated for an “Academy of Country Music Award” and “American Music Award.” I felt like I had died and gone to Heaven.

The Business of Making Mus
ic

When I finally got my record deal I was so excited. I let my mind wander and dream about how much money I was about to make and all of the great things I would be able to afford to do. I was going to be rich! After all if I was going to be on the radio and television and making guest appearances and doing concerts, I should be able to expect the riches to follow, right?

The only thing I had to do was to listen to the advice of my new lawyers and everything would be great. Record contracts are tricky and need to be handled with a keen eye and sharp mind. I was a wide-eyed kid whose dreams were about to come true. The law firm I was referred to was tops in the entertainment field. They represented the top artists in the business. I was told that my contract was “standard” and I trusted them to do a good job for me.

I knew in my heart that money was never a driving force for pursuing my career in music; it was only a great bonus. I simply wanted to sing and record great songs.

I had taken a music business course in junior college, so I thought I would be fairly prepared for what was going on.

I soon learned that the music industry is not something that is learned from a book or from a teacher that never had a record deal.

All of a sudden I was getting advice from people who never had time for me before. New “friends” were coming out of the woodwork and everyone had great ideas for my career. It was all very overwhelming, but on the other hand it was also very exciting to share my good news with the family and friends who were always there believing in me.

When it came time to get down to real business, the record label gave me a thirty- thousand-dollar advance to keep me afloat while I recorded and got ready for touring. I thought that it was very generous of them; my lawyer assured me that it was a standard procedure. I knew I could finally relax and just make a great album.

My attorney had a reputation for being very good, and when I got the bill, I realized that “good” meant expensive. My bill was for $15,000! I could not believe it! I had to pay half of my advance to a lawyer that had spent less than fifteen hours on my “standard” contract.

I immediately started to research other firms to see if I was getting ripped off (which I believed I was) and much to my disappointment, I learned that I was, in fact, paying the going rate for good attorneys representing new artists. That fact didn’t make it right, but at least I knew I wasn’t alone.

All the artists were making financial sacrifices in one way or another. It was the price for being a part of “the biz.” I don’t think being “one of the many” having to pay the price made me feel any better, but for the sake of my music, future fans and my family, I went ahead and paid the bill.

I figured it was the record label’s money anyway, so why should I be so upset? What I didn’t know at the time was that the show biz synonym for “advance” was “loan.’ I had to pay back the thirty thousand as well as all other expenses incurred on my behalf for recording, promotion, photos, touring and everything else, before I ever received another dime.

The stakes were so high I knew I had no choice but to succeed. I couldn’t afford to be a flop. In some ways I think that experience was a great lesson for the rest of my life. It pushed me to work harder and to go for the gusto. Whatever was going to happen from that point on gave me the opportunity to be one of the very few that would live out this amazing dream.

My experience was the course they should have taught at Junior College. Welcome to Showbiz!

Tattoo

I believe that laughter is truly a healing gift from God. If we can learn to laugh at our own shortcomings, we would be much healthier in mind, body and especially spirit. I usually find several reasons every day to laugh at myself. Mostly because I continually need to be reminded that I really have little to no control over the things that happen in life.

This truth is revealed to me everyday when I take off my shirt and see my reflection in the mirror.

It was a very exciting time when Asylum Records was going to release my first single, "Nobody Knows" to the radio and to the world. I was experiencing days filled with photo shoots, interviews, recording sessions and meetings. My schedule was enough to make my head spin, but I was thrilled by it all. It was during one of those whirlwind days that I came up with the idea that if my song hit #1 on the charts, that I and a few of my label friends should all get tattoos. Thinking that my chances of going to #1 were about the same as getting struck by lightening, we went ahead and actually signed a contract agreeing that we would each get a tattoo of our choice if the song hit #1 on the Billboard Country Chart. One member of our "scheme team" didn't want a tattoo, so instead signed that he would shave his head!

At the time I signed, I had never been and still wasn’t a tattoo kind of guy, but didn't think I had anything to worry about. I was wrong. As the weeks passed and the song climbed the charts, it was exciting on one hand and dreadful on the other. I did not want a tattoo!! In fact, I had nightmares about having to honor my word, not to mention a written contract! After a few weeks, the song hit #1 and before I knew it, I was deciding what I was going to have permanently penned onto my body. The thought was dreadful to me, but my word was my bond.

I came to the decision that I would ask my mother for help. My plan was to kill two birds with one stone. Break the news to her and get her opinion at the same time. I thought that if she had a say in it, the pill would be easier to swallow. I was almost right. My mom is the opposite of anything having to do with the stereotypical tattoo wearer and now her own son would be sporting one. After her initial horror, she slowly became a fountain of ideas. She wanted something that wouldn’t embarrass the family, and I wanted something that would stand the test of time. I agonized for weeks over my decision. I had known guys with ex-wives’ names permanently on their bodies. This didn’t go over too well with the new wives. I would be wearing this decision on my skin for the rest of my life. Just then, as though a light went on in Mom’s head, she said, “the Make A Wish logo.” Eureka, that was it! I loved that organization. They were there for me when I needed them, and surely that logo would never change. The decision was made, so off I went to honor my contract. I would have a wishbone with the accompanying ribbon tattooed on my chest.

I must admit, after I had the tattoo for a few weeks, it started to grow on me. I was actually proud to bear the logo of Make-A-Wish. Then, a few months later, in true Kevin Sharp style, I received word that due to trademarking issues and the fact that the wishbone represents death in certain cultures, the Make-A-Wish logo was now changed!

I just had to throw up my hands and laugh. It was apparent to me that God’s sense of humor is far more refined than my mine will ever be, and if He thinks it’s funny then who am I not to laugh!

Now, when things get tough I can look down at my chest and remember that laughter is the best medicine for any situation!

‘
Til Death Do Us Part

When I was in my teens there were two things I would have bet a million to one that I would never have to deal with; a drug problem was one and divorcing once I was married was the other. I was so into sports and building a healthy body that drugs were never on my radar for social fun, and my religious upbringing didn’t leave any wiggle room for divorce. As the saying goes, “Never say never.”

I had no idea when I formed those opinions that my life was going to make the twists and turns that found me addicted to pain medications after cancer had damaged my body, nor did I realize that marrying the wrong person could also act like a cancer that damages the soul.

After I battled my drug addiction and things were going well with my music career, I, along with my family, decided the time was right to marry the girl I had been dating for over a year. She was there for me through my struggles, we had the same spiritual beliefs, and both sets of parents gave us their blessings. We agreed it was the right decision at the time.