She couldn’t afford to fool herself any more.
“How will you start?” She dropped into a chair near the side of the couch where Zoe was curled up, near enough that she could reach her quickly.
“I left a message for Alexis, through my sister, but I don’t know how long it will take her to get here.”
She heard his unspoken comment. “Or if she’ll come?”
He made a face. “I’m hopeful. I made a point of telling Nila how old Zoe is. Alexis won’t refuse to help such a young child.”
Rose nodded. She didn’t have the energy to argue. “What do we do until this Alexis woman shows up?”
“That episode will have drained Zoe. She’s so strong.” He murmured the last, with awe in his tone. “I can’t believe she’s been able to prevent her tiger from getting out. How long have the episodes been happening?”
“Since around the time she turned two. Like you said happens for ordinary shifters.” She rubbed her neck as tears prickled her eyes again. “Other parents worry about the ‘terrible twos.’ They have no idea what terrible really is. I’d have taken months of tantrums over watching my baby in such pain.”
“I wish I could change things. I wish I’d been there to help.”
“If wishes were dimes… No point in considering all the what-ifs. You’re here now.”
He looked away. “Because this episode was so exhausting, I doubt her tiger will try to get out for at least another few days, which gives us some time. For the most part, the shifts don’t wear us out—we can go back and forth between shapes indefinitely unless we’re injured or there’s some other reason we’re worn out. But Zoe’s fighting hers and that’s taking a toll. Once she’s able to let go and allow the change, and control it, she won’t get so tired after.”
“And the pain?”
“The pain is from fighting the shift. It’ll go away, too.”
Rose took a shaky breath. She was making him repeat things he’d already told her. But after the last hour, she needed all the reassurances she could get. “How will you start to introduce the concept to her? It’s not like anything she’d have ever encountered. I don’t read her scary stories or let her watch scary movies with things changing into other things. She’s much too young for that.”
“Until Alexis gets here, we have to let Zoe see that tiger shifters actually exist. I’ll change for her, but not in front of her. She’ll be able to see me as a tiger, and that I’m safe and aware. I hope that’ll help her get used to the idea before Alexis shows her a shift.”
“When?”
He looked at Zoe, his gaze thoughtful. “I think we should start as soon as she’s recovered. Maybe after dinner? We need to let her get her strength back. I’ll let you tell me when you think she’s ready to handle it. But we should start tonight. We can’t afford to delay even until morning.”
Rose nodded. “Yeah.” She stared at the cold fireplace, wanting this moment to last longer than it would. Her daughter blissfully ignorant and resting peacefully. The new reality still out there somewhere in the future. For this one instant, everything was okay and her daughter was fine.
It was an illusion, she knew, but it was a nice one.
“It’ll be okay, Rose. I promise.”
She forced a smile and kept her doubts to herself. “Okay” wasn’t something she was overly familiar with anymore.
After dinner, Zoe was her usual self again, bouncing around as if nothing had happened. It never ceased to amaze Rose how quickly she rebounded from the episodes, like she was a perfectly healthy, perfectly normal little girl.
Because she knew they were in for a difficult few hours, she let Zoe have two cookies after dinner instead of just one. Zoe was clever enough to realize this meant something bad was coming, but her suspicion didn’t keep her from scarfing down both treats.
“No doctors,” she said around a mouth full of chocolate chips, her expression pinched into a stubborn pout.
“No doctors,” Rose agreed. “But we do have something…interesting to show you tonight.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
Rose exchanged a glance with Vlad, then ushered Zoe to the couch. “Okay, this is going to sound very strange, baby, but we know what’s been causing your pain. And Vlad is going to help it go away. Forever.”
“He is? How that?”
“First, there are some things you need to…learn. Is that okay?”
She nodded.
“One of those things is that you are special. You’re a lot like Vlad.”
“I am?”
“You are,” he said, coming into the conversation. “Which is why I can help you. Do you want to see what makes me special?”
“Yeah! Is it same thing makes me special?”
“It is.”
Rose took her daughter’s hands. “Baby, this might be a little scary, but everything is okay. You remember the tigers we saw at the zoo? You liked them, right?”
“Love tigers. Soooo pretty!”
Rose smiled. “Yes, they are. Do they scare you?”
She shook her head.
“Good. Okay, well, the thing is…” She looked at her daughter’s wide dark eyes and plunged in. “The thing is, Vlad can change into a tiger.”
Zoe’s eyes got even wider and she looked at him. “You can?”
“I can.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
For a long moment, Zoe stared at him. Then she grinned. “Cool! Show me.”
Rose blinked. “That doesn’t scare you, baby?”
“No. Why? Is cool!”
Rose puffed up her cheeks then released the breath. “Okay.” She was saying that a lot. “Vlad is going to go into his bedroom and when he comes out, he’ll be a tiger.”
“Why he go away to change?”
“I have to take off my clothes first,” Vlad answered.
Zoe giggled into her hand. “Silly.”
“Yes, I suppose it is. I’ll be right back. But when I come out, I’ll be a big tiger.”
“Yay!”
Vlad shook his head and flashed Rose a befuddled expression that reflected her own mood perfectly. He disappeared into the back, leaving Rose to wonder at her daughter.
Several minutes passed as they waited for him to return. Rose continued to hold Zoe’s hands as her daughter swung her legs against the couch, bumping them off it loudly. Rose glanced back down the hall when she caught a very slight sound. A moment later a huge Bengal tiger walked slowly out of the shadows.
She sucked in a breath. She still saw Vlad in the tiger’s dark eyes. And yet, the beast was so…primal, so terrifyingly beautiful, it was hard to reconcile the fact that it was Vlad. The jump of her pulse at the sight of a wild animal in the cabin held a little too much excitement and not nearly enough fear.
She squeezed Zoe’s hands and nodded to the tiger. “Here he is.”
Zoe turned to stare and her mouth dropped open. “Tiger,” she breathed. “Wow.”
The tiger came around to stand in front of them, sitting a few feet away, looking as innocuous as a six hundred pound cat could look. He stared at Zoe, calm and casual—not the intense focus of a predator looking at food. Though as Rose took in Zoe’s rapt expression, she wasn’t sure her daughter recognized the potential danger in this situation. She seemed fascinated and not even remotely worried.
After staring for a long minute, she frowned a little and looked at the tiger askance. “You really Vlad?”
The tiger nodded.
Zoe grinned, her mouth open, and looked at Rose. “Mommy! That Vlad. He cool.”
“Yes, I suppose he is. Do you like talking to a tiger?”
“Yeah. Can I pet?”
Rose glanced at Vlad and he nodded again. “Just be gentle. No pulling.”
Zoe eased off the couch and approach the big cat slowly, reaching out a hand toward the thick white ruff around his neck. Rose’s heart thumped hard as she watched. The scene seemed so wrong—allowing her little girl to approach a huge predator was not normal. Yet it also seemed so…natural.
The dichotomy made the moment surreal.
Zoe buried her fingers in the tiger’s ruff and sighed. “Soft, Mommy.” She proceeded to pet him on his head and along his neck, as gently as a three-year-old was capable. Vlad remained passive, giving every sign of being harmless. He even released a rumbling sound that would have been a purr from a domestic cat.
“Can I ride him?”
“No,” Rose said as she choked back a sudden laugh. “He’s not a pony, baby.”
“He big enough.”
“Well, yes, he is. But you still can’t ride him without his permission.”
“Can I ride you?” she asked the tiger directly.
The tiger nodded and lay down, his side presented to Zoe.
Rose hadn’t thought her daughter’s expression could glow any brighter. When she scooted up to him, she gave him a sweet little pat first, then she grabbed his ruff and threw herself sideways across his back. It took a great deal of scooting and wiggling to get around so she sat astride the tiger, during which Vlad remained motionless and passive, though Rose heard him grunt once when Zoe’s knee bounced against his side.
She grimaced. “Easy, baby. Don’t hurt him.”
“Not hurting.” As soon as she was settled, she sat up a little, still gripping Vlad’s fur, and grinned at her mom. “This is cool.”
Rose smiled, both pleased and baffled by her daughter’s reaction to all this. Did she
get
that the tiger was Vlad? Or did she just think he was a pet tiger? It was hard to tell.
Vlad gently eased upward, hind legs first, then lifting the front of his body. Zoe tottered around, slipped gently sideways, and dropped onto the rug.
“His skin slides,” she exclaimed, giggling. “So silly. Up. Up again!”
Vlad settled in a squat again and Zoe scrambled onto his back, with a little less difficulty and kicking. This time, Rose went to help her keep her balance. As Vlad stood, Zoe rolled around on his back again, but with Rose’s help she managed not to fall off this time. They walked one circuit around the living room, Zoe grinning the entire time.
Vlad eased back down in the same place as they’d started and Rose lifted Zoe off.
“Was that fun?” she asked.
“Very fun. Again?”
“No. It’s time for Vlad to be in his human shape again.”
“Ah.” Zoe actually pouted. “Love tiger. He so soft.”
“I’m sure you’ll be able to play with him as a tiger again soon.”
Rose met the tiger’s eyes. He stood and ambled back to the bedroom.
While he was gone, Rose sat Zoe on the couch. “That didn’t scare you?”
“No. Was very cool.”
“You do know that was Vlad, right?”
“Was.” She bobbed her head in a very definitive nod.
Rose hugged her close. “Well, that went better than I thought it would.”
A few minutes later, Vlad came out in his human shape, fully dressed and looking none the worse for wear.
“Did she kick you too hard?” Rose asked as he settled into a chair next to the couch.
“I can take a little three-year-old kicking. Don’t worry, I’m fine.” To Zoe he said, “You liked the tiger?”
“Yeah. Was fun. Can I ride again?”
“Yes, later. When your mother says it’s okay.”
“Yay! Your skin all slippy.”
“It is when I’m a tiger.” Vlad flicked a glance up at Rose before focusing on Zoe again.
Rose read a lot in that look, including his pleasure that Zoe was taking this so well.
“You skin slip when you a boy?” Zoe asked.
“No. My skin is just like yours when I’m like this.” He frowned a little, before saying, “Would you like to turn into a tiger, too?”
“Yeah!” She jumped up and down. Then her little face fell into a sad frown. “But I cannot.”
“Why do you think that?” Vlad asked.
“People cannot be tigers.”
“But you said you knew that tiger was Vlad?” Rose put in, frowning at her daughter. “He turned into a tiger.”
“He not people. He a boy.” She spoke with the tone of someone stating something so obvious that to even ask about it was ridiculous.
Rose had to suppress a chuckle. She glanced at Vlad.
His brows were raised. “What are you teaching her?”
“I have no idea where she got that idea.” She faced Zoe again. “Honey, Grandpa is a boy and he’s people.”
She frowned and considered that. “You change to a tiger, Mommy? Why you never show me?”
“No, I can’t do it, but Vlad and I think you can.”
“Why me and not you?”
Rose pursed her lips. That was a much more complicated question to answer. “You’re special, baby,” she finally said. “You’re like Vlad.”
Zoe eyes got very wide. “Cool.” She said the single word as an awed exhale.
Once again, her reaction both baffled and pleased Rose. She looked at Vlad.
He shrugged. “Three-year-olds.”
“How can I be a tiger?” Zoe asked.
“Well,” Vlad took over, “I’ve got a friend coming who is going to help teach you. Would you like that?”
Zoe actually paused to consider, her face screwed up in a frown. After all her enthusiasm, her taking a moment to really think about if she wanted to learn or not was another surprise to Rose.
After swinging her legs and considering her options, Zoe finally said, “Yes. I wanna be tiger.”
“Okay,” Rose said. “Then we’ll start your lessons as soon as we can.”
“It hurted?” she asked Vlad.
“Nope. Feels like stretching.”
“Will my ’sodes be bad for it?”
Rose pulled Zoe into a hug. “Actually, baby, we think if you learn to be a tiger you won’t get any more episodes.”
“Really?” She blinked large eyes up at Rose.
“We hope.”
“You gonna learn to be tiger, Mommy?”
Rose smiled. “Wish I could. But I’m not special like you.”
“You still special, Mommy.”
“Thank you, baby.”
They spent the rest of the evening talking about tigers. By the time Zoe went to bed, she’d peppered Vlad with so many questions, Rose couldn’t remember half of them.
One thing was for sure, though. Her baby wasn’t afraid of the tigers, at least not yet. That went a huge way toward alleviating Rose’s worry.
Now they just had to teach her to shift—and hope she didn’t get hurt.
*****
“Well that went better than I expected it to,” Vlad said as he walked into the kitchen.
Rose stood at the sink, rinsing dishes from dinner and putting them into the dishwasher. “I can’t believe she thought that was fun. I’ve been so worried she’d be terrified.”