To Dream in the City of Sorrows (24 page)

“Not for some time, Mr. Cole. With the recent outbreak of the war between the Narns and the Centauri, the whole area has been placed under government jurisdiction. It’s off-limits to all nonauthorized personnel.”

“I need to bring back my brother’s body. He died on the planet.”

“Oh, I see,” Esperanza said with great sympathy. “In that case, I assure you I’ll report this to the investigators and insist they make recovering your brother’s body a top priority. You will be notified immediately when that happens.”

Marcus had hit a wall. The truth was, Will’s body had probably been incinerated in the Shadow attack on Site 13. He had wanted to go back, just to be sure, but more and more he was realizing that wasn’t what Will would have wanted him to do. The more he talked to Esperanza, the more he began to think that maybe Will had been right about everything. Marcus had to find out for himself – and keep his promise to his brother to go to Minbar. To do that, he would need a lot of money. Under the smiling visage of the assistant director, Marcus took the forms and signed them.

“This Narn-Centauri war has everything in an uproar,” said Sakai’s UTC contact, who had unexpectedly contacted her early in the morning, “but it’s going to be good for business, I’ll tell you that.”

Sakai took the cold-blooded statement in stride. She was no longer surprised at how the corporate men at UTC thought.

“So, it looks like we’ve got a job lined up for you much faster than we thought.”

“I’m afraid I can’t accept it,” Sakai said. “In fact, I’ll be unavailable for any work for a couple of months at least.”

“Why?”

“I hope to be getting married.”

The UTC man frowned. “I assumed that was off.”

“Why would you assume that?” Sakai asked evenly.

“Well, because, Sinclair ... I mean ... isn’t he on Minbar?”

“That’s what the papers say.”

“Listen, Sakai, I like you, and I think we’ve worked well together, so I hope you won’t mind me saying something a little personal here. A continued association with Ambassador Sinclair might not be seen as a mark in your favor at corporate headquarters, if you know what I mean.”

“No,” she said coldly. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“UTC is a very image-conscious corporation, and Sinclair isn’t exactly someone they would want associated with the corporate name right now, being so closely tied to the Minbari–“

“Thanks for the advice,” she said curtly. “Don’t expect to hear from me anytime soon.” She cut the communication. Day two on Babylon 5 was starting out wonderfully, already burning one important bridge before breakfast.

Getting to Minbar was the only thing that mattered right now. She would have preferred dealing with Delenn or Lennier, but they both seemed to be gone from the station at the moment. Perhaps someone at the offices of the Minbari Embassy could help.

The Minbari who appeared on her screen was not familiar to her. Here goes nothing, she thought.

“I’m glad I found somebody in,” she said. “I’m Catherine Sakai, Ambassador Jeffrey Sinclair’s fiancee. I need to obtain a travel permit to Minbar for my ship, as soon as possible.”

“Yes, I am familiar with the name,” said the Minbari. “And I have been instructed by the ambassador’s office to tell you that the ambassador is not available, and that it would be best for you not to come to Minbar at this time. Good day to you.”

The screen went blank.

“Like hell,” she said angrily. There was nothing like a chorus of people she didn’t trust telling her not to do something she wanted to do for strengthening her resolve to do that very thing.

Once again her comline buzzed. Who wanted to bring her more joy now?

“Yes?”

Chief Garibaldi appeared on the screen. “Catherine, hello. Sorry it took so long to get back to you. We’re having a little trouble around here.”

“Am I glad to see you,” Sakai said.

“Listen, I don’t have a lot of time,” Garibaldi said, ‘but I bet you want to get to Minbar immediately. Come by my office and we’ll get you on your way.”

C
HAPTER 19

The City of Sorrows didn’t have a spaceport, so Catherine Sakai landed at the port in Yedor. She left Skydancer in a hangar that had already been reserved for her by Ambassador Delenn. It seemed she and Garibaldi had been preparing for Sakai’s return to Babylon 5 for some time, and when she had walked into Garibaldi’s office, he handed her a waiting packet with everything she would need, including a filed flight plan to Minbar and special visitor documentation signed by Delenn that caused her to be whisked through customs without a pause. She then found that transportation to Tuzanor was waiting for her.

Now she stood outside the modest embassy building – if such a word could be used for dwellings carved out of large rock mounds and pillars – which was easily identifiable by the discreet Earth Alliance flag hanging flat against the front wall. She was unaccountably nervous. Garibaldi had assured her that Sinclair couldn’t wait to see her, even though he had not actually spoken to Sinclair since his departure from Babylon 5. She’d had enough hard lessons in life not to count on anything, especially the things she wanted the most.

Just then a group of seven Humans and two Minbari were ushered out of the embassy by two other Humans dressed in identical, very distinctive clothing.

It’s now or never, she told herself, and entered the building. She found herself in a small antechamber facing a rather stern-looking religious-caste Minbari.

“I’m Catherine Sakai. I’m here to see the ambassador.”

She knew a stunned look when she saw one, even on a Minbari trying to hide his reaction. She remembered what the Minbari on B5 had said about “the ambassador’s office” not wanting her to come, and suddenly decided not to wait for this Minbari’s reply. She headed immediately for the closed door behind him.

“I’ll just let myself in, thanks.” She was past him before he could stand. She opened the door and strode quickly into the room, the Minbari now behind her frantically trying to stop her.

Jeffrey Sinclair was sitting at a desk, wearing clothes similar to what she had seen on the two Humans outside, and was in the middle of dictating notes to his computer when the commotion caused him to look up. The Minbari behind her fell silent.

“Hi, Jeff. I got your message.”

He rose to his feet, astonishment on his face. “My God! Catherine!” He looked past her to the Minbari. “It’s all right, Venak. Thank you.”

The Minbari departed silently as Sinclair came quickly around his desk. Smiling broadly, he took her in his arms and kissed her. For a moment, all her fears and doubts vanished.

He asked her a flurry of questions, and she told him in brief outline the path she had taken to get here. He reacted with dismay when she finished with a description of her alien encounter in hyperspace.

“You know about these aliens, don’t you?” she asked.

“All too well.”

He took her right hand in both of his hands and kissed it, then just gazed at her for a long moment, as if he didn’t know what to say next, or was afraid to say it, the silence slowly becoming awkward.

“You look tired,” she said.

“I’ve had trouble sleeping ever since I got here. And they keep me pretty busy.”

“Is it still the dreams?” she asked with concern.

He nodded, then tried to laugh it off. “They’ve become quite colorful since I arrived here. I’ve learned to live with them.”

She squeezed his hand, then looked around the spartan office. “So this is where you spend most of your time, Ambassador?”

Sinclair laughed again, more genuinely this time. “No, no. I’m here only once or twice a week. Come on, I have so much to tell you. Let me show you everything.”

In a torrent of words, like a man relieved to finally unburden himself, he told her of the Minbari, of the Shadows, of prophecy, of Valen, of the Rangers. Sakai asked an occasional question, but mostly she listened and watched, trying to take everything in and understand it. He piloted them in a small flyer from Tuzanor to the plateau that held the Ranger compound, taking a few turns first around the city, then probably one or two more turns than was necessary around the plateau before landing. He obviously enjoyed being in a pilot’s seat even if only for a short distance in a low-powered craft.

He showed her every inch of the Ranger compound, and introduced her to everyone they came across, all of whom – Minbari and Human alike – bowed to him and treated him with great reverence, which he seemed barely to notice as he spoke to each of them with great openness.

They ended the tour at his quarters, a stone structure that he said was almost a thousand years old. She noted as they entered that Sinclair had somehow already managed to get her luggage delivered here from the Transport Center. He gave her a quick walk through the place, ending back in the front sitting room.

“The only person to live here before me was Valen himself. So it’s almost like new,” Sinclair said with a grin. “Not such a bad place to live, is it?”

“It’s a lot more comfortable than I would’ve thought,” she said.

There was another awkward silence.

“So what do you think of ... everything?” He looked at her with such a mixture of hope and apprehension, she was almost afraid to reply.

“It’s a little overwhelming,” she said, sitting down. He sat in a chair opposite her. “I’ve never met a Second Coming before. The Second Coming of Valen.”

She meant it as a joke, but he responded with intense seriousness. “And you haven’t yet. I’m not even the official Entil’Zha yet. Just Ranger One. Just Jeffrey Sinclair. “

“It must be kind of hard living in Valen’s shadow, though,” she said, but thought, Damn it. Why am I avoiding the real issue?

He looked at her for a moment, as if he were thinking the same thing himself, but answered her question instead.

“No, not really, not when you understand who Valen really was. I’ve had a lot of time to read about his life, although there’s a lot more legend than credible history. What’s worse, the military caste and the religious caste have two separate sets of sometimes contradictory legends about his life. But the real Valen comes through if you read carefully, and I find I kind of empathize with him. He was just a military leader who was deified in the centuries afterward. He warned his people against doing that, but his life became so couched in legend, even during his lifetime, that it was almost inevitable.”

“But most military leaders don’t end up with that kind of legend,” said Sakai. “He had to have been somebody extraordinary.”

“True, he wasn’t only a military leader,” said Sinclair. “He was something of a social revolutionary, as well. That’s where I feel sorry for the guy; much of what he advocated has simply been ignored or reinterpreted to serve individual prejudices.”

“Wait a minute,” Sakai said. “Is this the same Valen that created the Minbari caste system? I never thought that was a particularly noble act.”

“No, Valen didn’t create the caste system. That’s another myth. It existed long before he came along. He just reorganized it, elevating the worker caste to full equality with the religious and military castes. And he said it was only to be a step toward abolishing the caste system altogether. Sometimes I wonder if he were alive today, if he would despair that so much of what he dedicated his life to was in vain. But I don’t like to think of him as a man who would give in to despair. I’d like to think he’d just roll up his sleeves and try again. Maybe that’s why the Minbari look for his return someday. They recognize that much of his work is still unfinished. They hope he’ll come back and help them complete it.”

“But now they’ve got you.”

He stopped, shook his head as if irritated. He looked into her eyes intently. “Why are we talking about the past? I want to talk about the future. Our future. That is, if we have one.” He got up and walked across the room, came halfway back.

“When you agreed to marry me, you were agreeing to marry an Earthforce officer, based on a space station, with every expectation of eventually returning to Earth to live, maybe raise a family. You never agreed to all of this,” he said with a gesture, indicating everything around him, inside the house and out, “especially since I don’t even know what this will lead to. I’ve made a commitment to see this through. It’s important work. But I won’t hold you to your commitment to marry me if this is not something you can live with. Everything has changed since we last saw each other, I know that. Everything but this: I still love you. I still need you. And I still want you to marry me, because I know we can still build a life together, here on Minbar, or wherever this thing takes us. But it’s up to you.”

Sinclair was still standing in the middle of the room, with a look of uncertainty she knew was probably on her face as well. Sakai had arrived on Minbar to find her fiance, a man who as far as she knew had simply been made an ambassador, and who she had worried might be having second thoughts about marrying her. She had found instead a clandestine military leader, dressed in Minbari clothes, treated like some kind of priest-king, being groomed by the Minbari apparently for the status of legend.

And suddenly she had been the one with the second thoughts as she tried to comprehend what she was seeing and hearing. Now she realized that her hesitation had come from only one thing: she needed to know that the overwhelming change in the life of the man she loved hadn’t fundamentally changed him into someone she no longer knew.

Looking up into Sinclair’s eyes, she saw that it hadn’t. Whatever the Minbari and the Rangers thought of him, this was still the man she had known since the Academy and had left behind at Babylon 5.

She went to him. “No way I’m leaving you again, Jeffrey Sinclair.” She reached up to kiss him, only the second time since she had gone into his office in Tuzanor. He took her into his arms, and it was a long moment before he let her go again.

“What kind of ceremony should we have?” she asked him. “Minbari?”

“Oh, no,” he said, “the simpler the better, and not a Minbari ceremony. I’ve already been through their little rebirth/marriage ceremony, remember? No little red fruit for me this time. They taste horrible. Besides, I always had the uneasy feeling I’d gotten married somehow in that ceremony, but don’t know to whom!”