To Desire a Wicked Duke (28 page)

“To break down her defenses and overcome her resistance to loving you. It will not be easy, given the pain and loss she endured her first time around. But Tess needs love in her life, your grace. Even her dearest friends are not enough to fill the hole in her heart left by her betrothed’s untimely passing.”

Fanny’s expression turned solemn. “I do not think I would be betraying Tess’s trust if I were to aid you, since I believe her future happiness depends very much on you. So if I might be permitted to offer some advice, your grace.…” She paused again, giving him time to reject her counsel.

“I am listening,” Ian said curtly.

Finally she launched into the main purpose of her visit. “You may not have considered the question of love before, since your marriage was so sudden, but for a woman like Tess, the issue can be fundamental. A woman needs to feel wanted, but even more crucially, she needs to feel
loved.
”

“So you wish me to admit to loving her?”

The courtesan lifted her shoulders in a graceful
shrug. “Not to me, no. But I think you must at least admit your feelings to yourself.”

“Love is not an easy matter to comprehend, Miss Irwin.”

At his evasion, Fanny’s lips curved in a wistful smile. “On the contrary, your grace. As I have just recently come to realize, love is fairly simple, and you need only ask yourself some elementary questions. Does Tess make your life worth living? Would you feel desolate without her? And the opposite side of the coin … could she feel the same about you? I repeat, Tess needs to feel loved, not only desired, and if you truly love her, then you would do well to show her.”

Ian leaned back in his chair, unprepared to make such an admission just yet, to Fanny or to himself. “I appreciate your good wishes for Tess, Miss Irwin, but I will deal with my wife in my own way.”

“As you wish, your grace. But if you decide otherwise … I wanted you to know I will do everything in my power to help you.”

“I will keep your offer in mind.”

After Fanny was gone, Ian sat unmoving for a long moment, contemplating the courtesan’s bold, blunt query. Did he love Tess?

Would he even recognize the sentiment if he felt it?

He had never had much love in his life, Ian reflected. His mother had died giving him birth, and by the time he outgrew his childhood, he’d felt neither respect nor love for his libertine father.

He felt a measure of affection for Lady Wingate and a particular few of his other relations, and a
much stronger love for his young ward, Jamie. But he had never been
in love
, nor had he ever wanted to experience the affliction. The prospect of giving up control over his own will to someone else was even more intimidating than marriage, Ian believed.

Before wedding Tess, he’d enjoyed his solitary existence. He could do as he pleased, live as he chose. Now he had to take his wife’s feelings and interests into consideration, even before his own.

Yet strangely enough, he found himself
wanting
to place Tess’s interests before his own. He couldn’t deny, either, that he was exhibiting some of the symptoms attributed to love; not least were the riotous emotions she stirred in him. Protectiveness, possessiveness, jealousy …

Was that love? Admittedly, his feelings for Tess hadn’t been rational since he saw her kissing Hennessy behind the stage curtains at her godmother’s house party. And without question, she made his blood surge and his heart beat faster. Yet he knew his attraction was driven by far more than lust. He felt happier in her presence. He missed her when she was away. He found himself craving just to be near her, whether they were sparring or conversing about serious matters or making love.

So yes, Ian acknowledged regrettably, he might just be past the point of no return.

And if he was willing to admit that Tess had invaded what passed for his heart? What the devil would he do about it?

Was he a fool to wonder if he could rouse similar feelings in her? Given his sinful past, he was as far
from her ideal mate as possible. He didn’t believe he could ever live up to her image of a proper husband, not with her memories of her saintly Richard to provide constant competition for her affections.

Still, there was no longer any question that he wanted to prove himself worthy of Tess. And no question that he wanted to make her forget her late betrothed. Unless he could manage that, he never stood a chance of winning Tess’s love.

A muscle in Ian’s jaw worked. Was her love what he wanted? Without question, he could make Tess desire him, but as Fanny Irwin had pointed out, desire was not the same thing as love.

Ian ran a hand roughly through his hair as he struggled to define his feelings for his beautiful wife. He wanted to make Tess smile, of course. He wanted her happiness more than his own. He wanted her to need him, not just for her causes, not just in his bed, but in her life.

And if that was not love, then what was it?

Fanny was positively glowing, Tess thought when they met in the drawing room before dinner. They were the only ones present as yet, and Fanny didn’t hesitate to share her joy.

“Tess, I am so happy, I am beside myself. Basil proposed to me while you were away this afternoon!”

“I am elated for you,” Tess said, embracing her friend warmly. She started to ask for details, but Fanny obliged before she could say another word.

“Basil says he love me … that he has always loved me and he doesn’t want to live without me.”

“Of course he feels that way. He has worn his heart on his sleeve for months now. I could see it, even if you could not.”

“Yes, but my wicked past … I didn’t dare let myself believe that Basil could overlook everything I have done. But he says he loves me, and since I love him, the rest doesn’t matter.”

Fanny paused to beam another ecstatic smile. “You were right, Tess. Basil was willing to forgive me because he loves me. And I was right about the other. This afternoon we made love for the first time, and it was different from any coupling I have ever experienced … much,
much
more wonderful. I know it was because of the love between us.” The courtesan squeezed Tess’s hands. “Love makes all the difference, Tess. I do so wish
you
could find love again.”

Tess’s smile faded as she tried to think of how to respond.

“I would say,” Fanny added in a leading tone, “that the prospects for you finding love in your marriage are improving rapidly.”

Fortunately Basil entered the drawing room just then and claimed Fanny’s attention.

Glad for the diversion, Tess immediately congratulated him on their engagement. But while the two unlikely lovers were sharing a private moment whispering sweet nothings to each other, her thoughts returned to her conflicted feelings for her husband.

There was little question that her marriage was improving, Tess acknowledged, but that in itself was a problem. Her desire for Ian was growing daily. He could arouse her with just a glance. A mere touch
made her blood heat, thick and rich. She had never had to fight such powerful, overwhelming lust before.

The fact that she wanted him so much roused an unsettling guilt inside Tess. She had never desired Richard that fiercely. She had loved her betrothed, however, and felt as if she ought to remain true to him in her heart, even though he was long gone.

Other comparisons between the two men continued to haunt her also. Richard had been wonderful and charming, but a bit young and immature, almost more boy than man. In contrast, Ian was all man, much more masculine and mature. As her lover, the physical pleasure Ian gave her was incredible.

Yet something was missing. The truth was, they were caught up in a game of passion and power, with little real emotion between. Their lovemaking, while explosive, was not as emotionally satisfying as it could have been. Nothing like the fulfillment that Fanny claimed to have found with Basil—

Tess abruptly quelled that subversive thought. She was quite happy—vastly relieved, in fact—that their marriage was founded on a strictly carnal basis. She was coming to believe that Ian was not as wicked as she’d always thought. The more she came to know him, the more good she saw in him. But loving him was out of the question. She would be mad to let herself succumb to his seductive arts.

When Ian appeared in the doorway a moment later, his intent gaze met hers across the room. Sensing danger, Tess glanced away quickly.

She would hold to her current strategy, she resolved firmly. She would do her utmost to hide her weakness for Ian and maintain their adversarial relationship.
She would continue to keep her memories of Richard in the forefront of her mind and heart and purposely stoke her feelings of guilt.

Really, she had no choice. For her own self-protection, she had to use every weapon at her disposal to prevent her desire for Ian from growing strong enough to captivate her heart.

Tess shivered as midnight neared. For over three hours she’d waited on the battlements with Fanny and Basil and Ned Crutchley, hidden behind the crenellations. A chill wind cut through her cloak, while the cold from the stone seeped into her bones.

Ned was close beside her, watching the cove through another arrow port, and Fanny and Basil were a short distance away. In the dim moonlight, Tess could make out the beach below the castle, although visibility was further reduced by a thick cloud cover that portended rain. Occasionally, she could even see the dark shadows of militia troops.

Ian had stationed the government soldiers around the castle, disguised as groundskeepers and various other servants. Half a dozen men were inside the cave, secreted in the tunnel. Several more troops were concealed at the base of the bluffs, out of sight of the cave entrance. There was also an armed Revenue cutter standing offshore to cut off escape by sea. If the thieves managed to elude the ambush, the cutter would be alerted by lantern signal.

Tess shifted restlessly, trying to ease the ache in her limbs from remaining motionless for so long. Her nerves felt acutely on edge, for although they had planned as well as humanly possible, she had difficulty believing that nothing would go wrong.

Beside her, Ned seemed surprisingly calm. He’d been included in the proceedings, since he could identify Jolly Banks and his men and determine if any were missing, and he had sworn to help.

“Ye need a spot of patience, yer grace,” Ned whispered now at her movement. “In the Army, we had to wait days, even weeks, for a battle to begin.”

Feeling humbled at the reminder of all Ned had endured, Tess steeled herself for another long interval of inactivity.

It was perhaps twenty minutes later when he pointed down at the water. Tess recognized the dark shape of a fishing smack sailing silently into the cove.

“ ’Tis Jolly’s boat, I’ll wager,” Ned said.

A short while later, the smack dropped anchor. Squinting, Tess could make out the outline of a rowboat gliding toward shore and counted a half dozen men inside, more shadows than forms. When the prow touched land, the rowers climbed out and dragged the rowboat higher onto the beach so that the waves couldn’t wash the vessel back into the water.

Then four shadows headed directly for the bluff, leaving two behind.

Tess couldn’t tell if they spoke to each other. The low sound of the surf, along with the more delicate rush of the waterfall below, drowned out any voices from that far away—and she knew, in turn, that the
castle inhabitants couldn’t be heard from this high up on the battlements.

But Ned kept his voice to a whisper all the same. “ ’Ere we go.”

Tess held her breath as the main group of shadows disappeared beneath the castle walls, out of her line of sight. The plan was to wait for the thieves to claim their stolen bounty before swarming them all at once.

“See the two left on shore?” Ned said quietly. “That short fellow by the boat is Jolly. Ye can tell by ’is ’at.”

Tess did see. The others wore knit stocking caps, but Jolly wore a tricorn. She also noted his stance—legs spread, one arm raised as if aiming a weapon.