To Desire a Wicked Duke (37 page)

“I know,” Ian replied, not trying to conceal his amused irony. “I had every intention of evading her efforts, but then I saw you for the first time. You were laughing with Richard, and the sight cut right
through me. But when you fell in love with my cousin, you became off-limits. It was damned hard for me to be near you, Tess, always wanting what I couldn’t have.”

“Lady Wingate thought you might be jealous of Richard.”

“I was, savagely so. But like Richard, I wanted to be a better man because of you. To win your admiration and respect. I wanted to see that same look in your eyes that you always had for him.”

“You
are
a good man, Ian. You have proven it in countless ways.”

“Have I?”

“Indeed. It was remarkably admirable for you to take Jamie in as your ward.”

Ian shrugged. “My reputation was already tarnished. What was one more blot on the whole?” His features lightened. “And then I came to love the little fellow.” Ian’s gaze held Tess’s. “I will send him away from Bellacourt if you wish it, but—”

“Good heavens, no. I don’t want him sent away. As you said, he is an innocent child. And he needs a mother as well as a father.”

“Lady Wingate thinks I coddle Jamie too much, but I want him to grow up knowing he is loved.”

“He will be. By us both.”

Ian briefly kissed her temple, then drew back. “You are amazing, did you know?”

His eyes were so vivid with warmth, it made her own eyes smart. “I am amazed you think so. I thought you despised me for being a starry-eyed idealist.”

“Never. I love your passion, Tess. Your fierce devotion to your causes is part of who you are.” His mouth curved. “The truth is, I had recently resolved to try my hand at courting you, since according to your godmother, you were finally coming out of mourning for Richard. And then I walked in on you kissing Hennessy. Speaking of savage jealousy … he was fortunate I didn’t pummel him to a pulp.”

“He only kissed me on impulse, Ian. And I only responded because I wanted to know what it felt like to be kissed by a man other than Richard. If it will make you feel any better, I did not enjoy kissing Hennessy one whit. I was impatient for him to be done with it.”

Ian planted his own tender kiss on her lips. “At least your wanton experiment spurred me to act. I couldn’t let you get away twice. I was actually glad when Lady Wingate insisted we had to marry.”

“I never knew,” Tess said softly.

“I didn’t want you to know. For my own self-protection, I needed to keep up the barriers between us. I cultivated your animosity on purpose for years.”

“Is that why you didn’t want me to know about your generosity?”

“Yes. Because you would have looked at me more kindly. I wanted you to think me your adversary so I could better resist you.”

Tess couldn’t help but laugh. “You succeeded admirably, Ian. It always infuriated me, how you always got under my skin so easily.”

“You got under my skin as well. You were in my head, my loins, my heart.…” Ian chuckled softly at
himself. “I didn’t want to love you, but my plan failed miserably. The more I fought you, the more I wanted you.”

“It was the same with me,” Tess acknowledged.

He exhaled in relief. “I wish I’d had an inkling of your feelings before this. You could have saved me a good deal of agony this afternoon. I was desperate enough to visit your friends, to seek their advice on how to win you.”

“Which friends?”

“Fanny Irwin and the Loring sisters.”

“Seriously? You asked their advice? What did they say?”

“That I should confess my love to you, first and foremost.”

“They were right, you know,” Tess agreed sweetly. “I suppose I can contrive to forgive you for keeping the truth from me, Ian. But please, no more secrets between us?”

“That goes for you as well, love.”

Tess arched an eyebrow. “What secrets did I keep from you?”

“You concealed the fact that you loved me. That is an outrageous omission.”

“I was not even aware myself, so how could I tell you?”

He pressed another tender kiss on her lips. “You have no more excuses. From now on, I want to hear regularly how much you love me.”

“That will be no hardship, my love.”

He started to kiss her again, but stopped. “Oh, and another thing. No more ‘your graces’ when you address me. It perturbs me to no end.”

“Why do you think I do it?”

Ian kissed the teasing smile off her lips and made her sigh in surrender.

When he allowed Tess to breathe again, however, she fixed her gaze on him. “I meant what I said, Ian. I want a true marriage with you, despite how disastrously we began. I don’t want a bloodless union where the only intimacy is based on physical passion.”

“Nor do I.”

Determined to drive her point home, she curled her fingers around the lapels of his jacket. “I want to be your wife in every way possible. I want a mate, Ian, not just a lover. I want a husband and friend and confidant.”

“I think I can safely promise you that.”

His perceptive gray gaze cut straight to her heart, his expression so brutally honest, she couldn’t mistake his feelings of love for her.

Yet she needed to make him understand her own feelings, Tess realized. “You said I should move on with my life, Ian, and I am ready to do so, totally and completely. I don’t want to waste any more time. If I have learned anything these past two years, it is that happiness and love are too precious to let slip away.”

She paused. “And I don’t want Richard to come between us ever again,” Tess added in a softer tone, remembering their last night at Falwell. When she’d brought up Richard’s name while making love to Ian, he’d responded angrily, almost bitterly.

She tightened her hold on his neck, wanting to offer reassurance. “I swear to you, Ian, there is no reason whatsoever for you to be jealous now.”

He nodded solemnly. “I intend to hold you to that promise. I don’t want Richard in our marriage bed.”

“I should hope not,” Tess said lightly, believing they could now lay their ghosts to rest.

In response, Ian brushed the crown of her head lightly with his cheek, then pulled her to his chest and held her, his strength palpable, surrounding her, protecting her.

She remained there for a score of heartbeats, with her head resting on his shoulder, savoring the tender moment. Soon, however, she could feel heat rising between them.

“Ian?” Tess murmured against the side of his neck.

“Yes, love?”

“At Falwell, we agreed to share a bed merely to reduce our sexual frustrations, but I want to sleep with you every night from now on.”

“You read my mind, Tess.”

“Do you think we could begin right away?”

“I expect so. I seem to recall never giving you a proper wedding night. I promise to make up for my lapse tonight.”

“Must we wait until tonight?”

Raising his head, Ian gave her a wicked, heart-stopping smile, then stood with Tess in his arms. “I thought you would never ask.”

He carried her upstairs to his bedchamber and stoked the hearth fire to ward off the chill of the November evening. Then they undressed each other in between tender kisses and languorous caresses and soft laughter.

Their marriage was no longer a battle, no longer a rivalry, Ian reflected gladly. Instead, for the first time, they would be sealing their union as true husband and wife, showing their love for each other. The prospect filled him with heat and pleasure.

He held Tess’s gaze, savoring the perfect beauty of her smile, the giving warmth. Her generosity of spirit was what had drawn him to her from the first, but she awed him in so many ways.

He would never get enough of her, Ian knew. Yet physical desire was only part of his attraction. There was something deeply satisfying about just sharing her company. Even simple things somehow seemed new again to him. Every moment with Tess was like discovering something he’d never known was missing.

When he had bared her lovely body, he kissed her nape as he let down her hair, luxuriating in the sable tresses that fell in lustrous waves down her back. Then he attended to the delectable skin of her shoulder, which naturally led his lips down her arm to the ripe swell of her breast.

As he laved the budded nipple with his tongue, Tess sighed and wound her fingers in his hair.

“I always thought you the most vexing man alive,” she admitted in a breathless murmur, “but now I am inclined to think you the most wonderful man alive.”

“I am not quite the arrogant devil I once was,” Ian agreed, lifting his head. “In fact, I’ve been humbled by love.”

“
You
, humbled? I’ll never believe it.”

Her smile tantalized him as always, but the loving
laughter in her eyes was new. He relished that look, relished the hint of challenge in her tone. He suspected she would have continued provoking him, but he kissed her again, seducing her mouth into silence with his ardor.

Tess reciprocated, her lips melding with his, her hands touching him in a way that made him breathless with need.

When the heat grew nearly unbearable, Ian led her to the bed and drew her down. For a time they held each other … embracing, kissing, caressing, cherishing, leaving arousal everywhere they touched.

He ached to be inside her and yet he wanted to go slowly, to make this moment last. They fondled and stroked until they were both flushed and aroused to the point of trembling.

Only then did Ian shift to cover Tess’s lithe, lush body. Easing between her thighs, he braced his weight on his forearms so that he could gaze down at her, wanting to watch her eyes as she went wild beneath him.

She was already awash with wanton desire, he could tell from her quivering response. And she was incredibly hot and wet for him, Ian discovered as he tenderly thrust inside her.

Yet it was the way Tess watched him that took his breath away. Golden firelight bathed her face and turned her dark eyes brilliant, the expression on her face one of joy.

The sight made his chest hurt with love.

“I’ve waited forever to love you like this,” he said reverently.

Her features etched with passion, Tess clasped her legs around him and arched her back, drawing him in further.

“So have I,” she admitted, her fever-bright eyes shining into his.

Caught in the magic of her dark gaze, he began to move, feeling Tess surround him, feeling Tess love him. Stark hunger and tenderness poured from him as they rocked together in ancient rhythms, intensifying the fire between them, the raw wanting.

When Tess softly moaned his name, Ian sank even deeper, claiming her as his own, filling her until she was gasping, until she was pleading, until they were both shaking with desire.

“My wife, my love …”

“My husband …”

Tess gave herself to him, body and heart and soul. Her moans turned to sobs that were echoed by his deep, guttural groans. Their bodies twisted feverishly together, writhing, clenching, until at last the powerful explosions left them gasping and replete.

As the pulsing ecstasy receded, Ian slowly withdrew and turned onto his back, pulling Tess with him, holding her possessively. It still stunned him, how powerfully she affected him. No woman had ever shattered his sense of reality the way Tess did. She consumed him, enchanted him.

Too sated to move, he lay with her, their limbs tangled together, their heartbeats slowing. After a while, Ian brushed his lips against her temple and peered down at her. The fire glowed, gilding her lovely face. Her eyes were closed now, but the blissful contentment on her beautiful features spoke volumes.

Ian felt the same contentment, along with a fierce, primal satisfaction, knowing that Tess’s passion was something he alone could summon.

When he traced his fingertips along the rise of her cheek, she stirred enough to open her eyes.

“Fanny was right,” she said dreamily. “Lovemaking is even more wonderful when you are in love.”

Ian smiled. “I couldn’t agree more … although it still startles me to hear you spout romantic wisdom from a notorious Cyprian.”

Tilting her head back to see him better, Tess smiled up at him. “I’ll wager Fanny will become much less notorious in the near future. She has abandoned her wicked ways in order to settle down in staid matrimony, just as you have.”

Ian’s humor deepened. “I fervently hope there will be nothing staid about our marriage, Tess.”

“You have a point,” she conceded. She paused. “I don’t believe I thanked you yet, Ian. I am so grateful that you made it possible for Fanny to marry for love.”

“I confess my motives were completely selfish. I only wanted to make you happy.”

Reaching up, she twined her arms around his neck. “You
have
made me happy, darling. Deliriously so. You filled the emptiness in my heart.”

Her simple declaration humbled him.

“I could say the same about you, my lovely Tess. I never realized how empty my life was until I met you.”

She smiled radiantly, the same precious smile that had captured him the first time they’d met—only this time her joy was solely for him.

In response, Ian pressed a reverent kiss on her mouth. His heart was full of emotion for her: lust and love, caring, protectiveness. His fierce desire for her was only eclipsed by his even greater desire to protect and cherish her.

Suspecting that Tess still needed proof of his love, however, Ian wrapped his arms around her and deepened their kiss, determined to show his adoration with deeds and not mere words.

He succeeded admirably, if her blissful cries a short while later were any indication.