Through Smoke: The Troubled Heroes Series (14 page)

Bright light and pain. Those were the only things Michael could think of when he first woke up.  Wincing, he tried to sit up. Something on his chest pushed him back down and he grew frustrated by the second.  “What the hell?” 

“Just lay back, Mikey.”

Was that Darryl? Rubbing his eyes, he looked to his side and saw an outline of what looked like Darryl and a few of the other guys.  He licked his lips and groaned at the pasty taste in his mouth.  “Got some water?”

Some unknown person held it at him and he sucked on the straw.  The coldness stung his head and he shoved it away. 

“You feeling okay, bud?”

His vision was still a little blurry, but Michael could finally tell who was all around him.  Darryl, a few of the other guys from the department, and
Eva were all there.
  “
What
the hell happened?”

“The floor you were on collapsed. You fell a couple of stories.” Darryl paused and paced back and forth.  “From what they can tell, you’ve just got a concussion.  They want you to stay awake so they can monitor it.”

“A concussion?” He had to stay awake and all he wanted to do was pass out for a month. 

“Yeah, a concussion. Damn, you’re lucky. A fall like that should’ve killed you.” Darryl laughed, but for some reason, Michael wasn’t finding any of it amusing. He was hurting and was finding it extremely hard to even hold his eyelids open.  How was he to stay awake, and for how long?

Michael ran his hand over his forehead and tried to pull the blanket up over his head.  “What the hell happened?”

Darryl hovered over him and for once, Michael
didn’t mind it. He was blocking
the light above that seemed to be driving stakes through his brain.  “Well, what’s the last thing you remember?”

Michael moved to get comfortable but it was as if he had
lead
boots on.  No matter how he averted his body it just got worse. 
Hospitals.
  They all had the same smell and look to them.  He felt like he was in prison.  No matter how far back he tried to remember,
the last thing his memory drudged up was driving up on the fire.

“I just remember getting to the call. After that it’s all a haze.”

Darryl leaned back and he felt the sharp pain in his skull again.  He didn’t want to ask him to lean back over, so he turned his head to the side to try to alleviate some of the discomfort. 

“Well, Mikey, you went in to check for victims.  You found a girl and you were trying to get her down to safety when the floor collapsed.  You landed on a pile of debris that broke your fall. Right underneath that was concrete. You lucky man.”

Michael chewed on the inside of his cheek.  “Did the girl fall too?”

“Nope. You got her to safety. That’s one reason you fell, you were making sure she got to us at the window.  She was in time, you were two steps behind.”

Michael let out a sigh of relief.  At least the victim was okay
.

Eva paused at the window looking in on Michael’s exam room.
  She had stepped in a few times, but couldn’t find the courage to talk to him just yet.  The look he gave her that morning was still etched on her memory.  She really couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but she felt so guilty just by his body language. 

The accident got her thinking of so many things.  She had to face the facts. Even if they weren’t in a relationship, losing him would be hard.  It didn’t matter what their status was.  Friends, enemies, lovers, if Michael were to die she would be devastated regardless.  What good was she doing in hurting him the way she had?  If
he
had
died today she
would have
never had the chance at making amends.  That was something she definitely couldn’t live with.

Would he even take her back? The least she could do was tell
him how she felt.  She did feel petty though.  The poor guy was being led on like a dog on a leash. First she showed interest and then she called it quits.
Now suddenly she wanted him again?  She was confusing herself, much less Michael. 
Maybe this situation would get her over her attachment issues as a whole.

The old corny saying was right, whether she wanted to admit it or not. It was better to have loved and lost
than
to never have loved at all. And who was to say that he would die young in a fire?  There were hundreds of long time veterans on the New York Fire Department.  That wasn’t everyone’s fate.  Just because his dad passed away like that didn’t mean he had to follow in his footsteps.  Making up her mind, she decided it was right to go ahead and let Michael know all of her thoughts.  He was worth too much to her.

“You wanna make us available?”

Her partner’s question pulled her away from her trance.  “Uhh, sure. Is everything okay with Michael?”

He nodded. “Sure. He’s stable. They’re gonna keep him for observation and stuff.”

Now wasn’t the time to have that talk with him.  For all she knew, he wouldn’t remember a thing of it.  She dispatched that they were available and grabbed all of their gear.  Tomorrow would be good.  Hopefully they would discharge him and he would be in better spirits.

Michael was surprised.  A few hours
before
they had come in his room and told him he was allowed to sleep.  The shocking part was that he couldn’t.  Tossing and turning, he stared up at the ceiling.  Thankfully they had moved him to a more private room.  The hallway sounds were still loud and that was part of the reason why he was wide-awake.  He was also hurting.  They had given him some minor painkillers instead of morphine. He didn’t argue. He was hopefully being discharged in the morning.  The Demerol took the edge off of everything, but the dull aches were still enough to make him uncomfortable. 

Reaching for his cell phone, he pressed the display button to see what time it was. It was three AM.  Sighing, he pulled the blanket up around him.  He never gave much thought to how many close calls he had.  What would happen to Casey if he did die?  He was in a lot of trouble and Michael was his only form of protection.  Michael knew he had to start being more careful. 

“Michael?  Hey McGinnis, you gonna wake up today?”

Michael’s eyelids slowly fluttered open to a room full of people.  Eva and Darryl were the first people he saw.  His pulse quickened at the sight of Eva.  So she did care.  “What time is it?” He stretched out, glad to feel that his headache was nothing he couldn’t handle now.

“It’s a little after nine.  You need to get dressed. They’re releasing you.” Darryl threw a pair of his pants on the bed.  “That is, unless you wanna stay. That night nurse of yours would be a good reason to stay.” He arched his eyebrow and winked.

Looking over at Eva, Michael forced a small smile
.
Despite what they had shared, he felt exposed in his hospital gown and went into the bathroom.  His reflection caught him off guard.  No one had told him about his black eye and busted lip.  He must have fallen on his face.  It definitely looked worse than he felt. 

It felt good to get back in his own clothes, even if it was just a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt.  At least he didn’t feel like his entire backside was revealed to the whole world.  He rubbed his fingers over the bruising on the back of his hand where the IV needle had been inserted.  It was sore to the touch.  Sighing, he cupped some warm water in his hand and soaked his face.  It was revitalizing.  He couldn’t wait to get into his own shower.  He felt grimy and disgusting. 

After signing his paperwork and getting home care instructions, Michael was released.  Thankfully one of the guys on the department had a vehicle and was nice enough to drive him back home.  Darryl was along for the ride and Michael was glad.  He didn’t feel bad, but it was nice to have friends who cared.

He had never been so happy to see his apartment.  He was only gone for a couple of days, but it still had that smell that houses got when no one had been in and out. 

“Where do you wanna put this duffel bag?” Darryl held it out.

“Just over by the washing machine. I’ll get to that later.” He paused and sat down in his recliner, taking in a deep sigh.  “The doc isn’t releasing me to go back to work for a week, so I guess I’ll have plenty of time to do the laundry and take care of it.”

Darryl smirked.  “He suggested the week to rest, bud.  Take it easy for once.”  He sat down on the couch and stared down at the floor, the silence growing awkward.  “I’m truly glad you’re okay, Mikey.  Your guardian angel was definitely with you.”

Michael held his hand up, hoping to stop Darryl before he said anything else.  He generally didn’t like discussing close calls.  “It’s all done with and I’m fine.  Hell doesn’t even want me. You should know this by now.” He laughed and his heart skipped a beat when he heard a knock on his door. Darryl got up to answer and he couldn’t help but lean forward to see who it was.

“Is Mikey up for a talk?”

He instantly recognized the voice. It was Eva. What did she want?  His eyes scanned the apartment to make sure
it was at least decent
.  It had a lived in look, but wasn’t too embarrassing.  Sitting up, he raked his hands through his hair.  He was up for visitors, just not her when he had no idea what she was up to. 

Darryl allowed her to come in.  “I think I’m gonna head out for a little bit. Call me if you need anything, Mike.”  He grabbed his coat and left, leaving Michael alone with Eva.

The tension was thick as she walked across his living room.  Just by her body language he could tell she had a lot on her mind. She wasn’t just here to make sure he was okay. She was here for other reasons.  Clearing his throat, he motioned her to the couch. “Have a seat.”
She sat down, but still didn’t say anything.  “What’s up?”

“How are you doing?” Her voice was low.

“Good, considering.  I guess what I really meant was what are you doing here?” His question came out harsher than intended. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

She couldn’t sit still. Her leg bounced up and down
and h
er brow was creased with worry.  “I really don’t know how to say this a right way, so I’m just gonna be blunt. I will totally understand if you don’t agree. It just needs to be aired out.”

“Well say it then.” The anticipation was killing him. 

She swallowed and continued.  “This accident has got me thinking.  It is ignorant of me to not give us a chance based solely because you’re a firefighter.  It was like I was saying that your fate is set in stone and you will die young.” She paused and wiped a st
ray tear from under her eye
.  “We could be missing out on something so awesome.  Who am I to not allow something that is meant to be from happening?”

Michael stared at her for a second, unsure of how to respond.  Was she saying that she did want a relationship now?  Was this another one of those mind games women loved to play?  With each woman who came along in his life, the complexity grew immensely.  He felt like he was on a crazy rollercoaster of emotions.  He would look so vulnerable if he just took her back.  He had to think about himself too.  Would she be one of those women who broke up with him a hundred times, begging for him back each time?  He did like her a lot and she did make a good point.  He just didn’t want to look that easy and he was still upset over what had happened.

“Say something, Mikey.” More tears flowed down her cheeks, each one leaving a small trail of mascara.  So bad did he want to wipe them away and make her feel better, but his pride got in the way.  He couldn’t expose himself like that.

“You can’t do this to people.”  In all honesty, he didn’t know what to say after that.  He wanted her.  He knew it was the right thing.  He just couldn’t find it in himself to take her back at that moment.  He felt like a hypocrite.  Here she was playing games with him and he was doing it back. 

More tears fell.  It hurt him to see her cry like that.  “I know. I should’ve never turned you away.  I don’t know why I did. I’m truly sorry.  I understand if you’re done with me.  I just needed you to know how I feel.  I had to get it off my chest.”