Through Smoke: The Troubled Heroes Series (10 page)

“What did you do?”

Biting his bottom lip, he opened his eyes and looked at her. “It’s about Casey.” The look on his mom’s face was full of pain at the mention of his name.
She clasped her hands together
but didn’t say anything.  “He came to me about a week ago needing a place to stay.  I let him.  He lied straight to my face about everything and even invited some of his friends over after I told him not to. I gave him several chances but I ended up kicking him out again.”

She took another long sip of tea and put the glass down on a coaster.  Neither spoke as the words sunk in.  Had he made a mistake by coming to her about him?  She was definitely broken hearted by what Casey had become, but he would never forget as kids she would teach them that there’s always hope.  Had that value in her life changed?

“And you’re worried that kicking him out is only going to harm him?”

Michael nodded. It felt as if his stomach was tied in a thousand knots.  “I’m scared he’s more exposed to stuff out on the streets.  Like maybe if I would’ve let him stay that he would be more sheltered.”

His mom shook her head no and leaned forward in her chair. “No hon, both of you had a sheltered life here and both of you still found what you did.  You ha
d your problems.
Casey took to the drugs.  It doesn’t matter where you live or what kind of family you have, if you’re gonna do it, you’re gonna do it.  The will power lies within the person.  You found a way to not drink so much. I left it up to you and God. Made you leave here and go find yourself. You became a man all on your own.  Casey still has yet to find it and he might not ever.”

Michael stood up and went back to the shelves where all of their pictures were. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see her standing right beside him.  “You can’t help someone who isn’t ready to help themselves, Mikey.”

He felt a tear trickle down his cheek and quickly wiped it away.  Seeing the pictures of their youth stung.  If only they would have known what the future entailed.  “I know.  I just hate myself for kicking him out.  He has nothing. I think he’s in some money trouble too.”

“You would’ve hated yourself more if he ruined your life too.  If he truly wants to get better, he will, whether it’s under your roof or out on the street. There’s always a way. Don’t beat yourself up about it. I think you did the right thing. It’s out of our hands and up to Casey.”

He pulled her in for a tight hug, instantly missing the embrace of his mother.  Her subtle perfume ignited memories from years ago.  “You’re a good man.”  At that moment he told himself that he would make it a point to come see her more often.  It would be wrong not to.

He stayed for dinner that night and got caught up all of the months he had missed without her. Despite that, he still felt a void.  He would never get that time back with her. He had learned from his job that every day wasn’t a right; it was a blessing and definitely wasn’t guaranteed.

“You know, son, my door is always open.”

They both stood out on her stoop and watched the sun set behind the high rises.  “I know.” He draped his arm over her shoulders and gave her a side hug, kissing the top of her head.  “I’ll be coming around more often, I promise.”

She pulled away and wrapped her jacket around her.  “Be safe on your ride home. I really hate those subways.”

“You got it.” He walked down the first two steps and stopped, looking back at her from the sidewalk. “Thank you, for everything. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He turned around and made his way to the nearest subway station.  He felt reluctant to go back home, but there was nowhere else to go and he had to get ready for work in the morning.

Eva was glad her cousin had called to go out to dinner.  She didn’t have any food in the house and didn’t feel like cooking to begin with.  Her call had come at the right time.  She met her at a small café down the road from her apartment.  It was a quaint establishment with good food and decent prices.  It was the perfect place to catch up on things.

Her cousin was from Jersey and came over to Man
hattan quite a bit
.  “Eva, you look amazing!”

Eva sat down across from her in a booth, glancing down at the menu. “You’re full of it too, Jena. I feel like crap.”

“Well damn, I wish I could look that great when I felt like crap. What’s wrong?”

The waiter came by and took their order and Eva was hesitant to let her in on her predicament.  Jena didn’t have the same viewpoints she had with men.  She had never come out and admitted it, but everyone in the family knew she was a lesbian.  By looking at her no one could tell, she was stunning without even trying, but they knew by the friends she had brought home, and especially by the things she said. 

“Who says anything is wrong?”  Eva sipped on her water and crunched a few ice cubes between her teeth.

Jena arched her eyebrow. “Just because I live in Jersey doesn’t make me as stupid as most of the population over there. Come on, Eva, what gives?”

“Men problems.” She waited to get a reaction from Jena. She sat quiet and waited. “I’ve known this firefighter that I work with for awhile and well, recently we took our friendship to the next level.” Before she could continue, the waiter brought their food.  The scent of her sandwich made her stomach growl and she dug in before saying anything else.

“The next level as in, a relationship? Holding hands? A kiss?” Jena paused and leaned back. “Oh Eva, you slept with him didn’t you?”

She nodded and wiped her mouth.  “Yeah. I
t
just happened. I lost all control.  He came over unannounced and before I knew it, we were ya know, doing it.”

Jena finished a bite of her food. “And let me guess, the bastard is avoiding you now?
Sex complicates everything
Ev
. Y
ou know that. How many other relationships have you screwed up because you didn’t wait?”

Eva pushed her plate away. “No, that’s not it. He isn’t avoiding me at all. He’s called and stuff, I’ve been the one sort of avoiding him. I feel guilty about it too. He’s a great guy and didn’t do a damn thing wrong.”

Jena arched her eyebrow and laughed. “Sounds like you’re the man in this situation. Usually those assholes do that. I’m proud!” Her face grew serious after she got her joking out of the way. “But seriously, what’s the problem?”

“He’s a firefighter.”

Jena rolled her eyes. “This apparently wasn’t something you didn’t know before you screwed him.”

Eva shook her head and watched as a cute couple walked past. They looked very happy, each one smiling as they sat at their booth. She knew she could be that way with Michael if she didn’t screw it up first.  “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’ve had doubts ever since it was apparent we had feelings for each other.  I’m scared of what might happen to him.  He’s got a dangerous job.  I don’t know if I could handle losing him.”

“I can see your problem, Ev, but hear me out.  You can’t go through life worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet.  You’re gonna miss out on all of the stuff in between that can be rewarding.  Do you care for the guy?”

Without hesitation, Eva shook her head yes. “Of course I do.”

“And duh, you’re attracted to him. Is there anything else holding you back?”

Eva contemplated the question. There was the issue of them working together, but she was a medic and he was a firefighter, so that really wouldn’t be a problem.  “No, just his job issue.”

“Push that aside. You’re gonna miss out on so much good while worrying about the bad.  Bad that might not ever even happen, know what I mean?”

“Yeah.”

Jena finished her glass of wine and sat the glass aside. “You know I’m right, cuz.  And you know how much I hate men, too, so take this advice or leave it. I don’t even know the guy and I like him, just by how your head is up in the clouds. He must be something special.” She winked and asked the waiter for the check. 

Eva was grateful for her opinion and it of course felt right, but she still had extreme doubts about it all. Was that a sign that it really wasn’t meant to be? If it was love wouldn’t
it be doubt free
?  She wasn’t sure. She never truly had “real” love, whatever that may be.

Michael was dreading work. It was a twenty-four hour shift, which would mean good money, but he wasn’t feeling it today.  During his walk to the station, he debated on taking a detour to the shelter where he hoped Casey would be.  He doubted that they would even know if Casey was there or not. For all he knew, they didn’t check in and were in and out all the time.  He pretty much knew Casey didn’t go there anyway.

He saw Eva out at the ambulance, busy stocking it for the day.  She looked great with her hair pulled back.  The uniform flattered her figure, even in places it probably shouldn’t have.  He waved at her and she waved back, but the expression on her face was uninviting. 

“Good mornin’, Eva. Enjoy your day off?” He leaned on the door.

“Wasn’t bad. You?” She didn’t turn from her chore and looked up long enough for him to get a glimpse of her eyes.

“Could’ve been better.  Have a good day.”

“You too.”

He hesitated, but walked off. He wasn’t sure if her cold behavior was blatant, but he got the hint loud and clear.  They went from being pretty good friends who had more than small talk, to brief lovers, and now back to strangers who rarely even said hello to one and other. Now he knew how women from his past felt when he lost contact with them with no closure. It was a horrible feeling.

Before he even entered the garage the alarm went off, dispatching them to a man stuck up on a tower and unresponsive.

Darryl was the first down the fire pole. “
A minute past seven
and we got a call. And uh oh, Mikey didn’t get his coffee. No one speak to him.” He laughed and tossed Michael his coat. “Glad you got here on time, wouldn’t want you to miss this call. You’re the one I’m sure who’s gonna get sent up that tower.”

Michael grabbed his boots and hopped on the truck as it pulled out onto the street.  This was definitely a
sign of
h
ow the rest of the day was going to
go. At least he wouldn’t be sitting around, watching the second hand of the clock tick away. 

Michael’s palms grew sweaty as they pulled up on scene. The man was several stories up on a metal tower on top of a building.  He had dealt with high-rise
calls before and
they weren’t his favorite in the least bit.  The victim was dangling. His legs and arms were sprawled out. The only
thing keeping him from tumbling
was the brace clasped to the tower.  There was no doubt he would be the one captain ordered up since he was the leader of the search and rescue team.

“McGinnis take Rollins and get up there. Looks like it’s gonna take
both of you.”

Michael’s fingers were slick against the metal when he grabbed hold of it.  His heart pounded and he wondered if Rollins could feel it as he helped him put on his safety belt. 

“He’s gonna be dead weight, Rollins.  Hope you brought your energy.”

“Hey Mikey, it’s not as high as it looks. Just don’t look down.” Darryl’s voice was tinny over the radio and Michael couldn’t help but smile.  At least he lightened the mood.

He queued the radio on his shoulder. “Bite me.” With that comment, they began their trek up the tower, each step getting harder as the wind gusted around them.  It felt like eternity before they finally got to the guy. 

Michael checked for a pulse. “He’s got a weak pulse. We’re gonna try and bring him down now.” He looked over at Rollins who probably looked even more scared than he did.  “Rollins, I’m going to unclasp him. Get beside me, I’m going to need all of your help in getting him down.” The man was pretty big and definitely o
utweighed them.  Just his luck.
He could feel his hand shake as he reached for the buckle.  “Secure yourself first and then I’ll get him.” He checked his restraints one more time before releasing the man.  He was heavier than Michael expected and he was than
kful he was secure or he
would’ve fallen.