Authors: Patricia Hagan
He gazed down at her, suddenly amused. “What are you thinking about, Julie? Whatever it is makes you happy.”
With her usual candor she replied, “I won’t lie to you, Derek. I was thinking about how it was for us. It was good, right or wrong, and I will always cherish the memories.”
“Would you care to make more memories?”
She stumbled, losing her step. “Why…no,” she stammered, grasping for composure. “Derek, I was not insinuating…oh, I don’t know what I mean!” Her cheeks were flaming.
Derek laughed, but it was a gentle laugh, not taunting.
Others drifted in, and the ballroom began to fill. They were receiving open stares. Arlo had positioned himself against a wall and was scowling at them. Abruptly, Derek stopped dancing, tucked her hand in the crook of his arm, and led her from the dance floor.
“It’s a nice night, and we could both use some fresh air.” He stopped by the punch bowl where another hostess ladled the crimson punch into two cups, handing them to Derek with a friendly smile.
Outside on the terrace, the night wind was cold. Stars, studding the sky like ice chips, seemed to chill the air even more. Julie shivered, hands trembling as she lifted the crystal cup to her lips to drink. “I guess it isn’t so nice out here, after all, Julie. You’re freezing.”
“Anything is better than being back in there with Arlo Vance watching every move I make.”
“Why did you agree to come to the ball with him, Julie?” he asked. “To make me jealous?”
She matched his smugness by asking demurely, “Did I succeed?”
He chuckled, moving closer. Lips brushed against her own as he murmured, “You little vixen.” His mouth claimed hers. She resisted but only for a moment, then felt herself helplessly yielding.
Finally he released her, smiling in triumph. “You’ve been wanting me to do that, and don’t lie to yourself about it.” His eyes were challenging. “I feel you watching me, Julie, and I see the desire in your eyes. It matches my own. What we had was damn good.”
He kissed her again, passionately, and when he released her, she was crying. Stepping back, she crossed her arms across her bosom and sobbed, “Yes, it was good, Derek. It was beautiful.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Can’t you leave me alone?” she whispered. “We both know we don’t want the same things out of life, so why can’t you get the hell out of mine?”
Suddenly he bent over and lifted her into his arms. “You don’t want me to get out of your life, Julie, you want me in your life—on your terms. You’re so goddamn stubborn, you deny us both pleasure because you want your way. But tonight, by God, it’ll be
my
way.”
He walked her swiftly across the terrace, down the stone steps, and into an alley behind the hotel.
“Where are you taking me?” she demanded. “Derek, put me down.”
He ignored her.
They passed a drunk staggering in the alley, and then a tomcat searching for food.
He walked purposefully, and Julie lay in his arms, her head on his shoulder. “Derek, please let me go,” she begged as they moved through the glow of a street lamp into the dark shadows of the main street. “Forcing me won’t make me agree to be your mistress.”
“Force you?” He laughed. “When did I ever force you, Julie? I won’t force you tonight, either. But I’m going to make you realize you want me as much as I want you.”
They reached the wagon train compound, and he walked directly to the large Conestoga used for a supply wagon, the wagon he lived in. With one quick movement he lifted her up and inside, pulling himself in right behind her.
Without preamble, he began kissing her, soothing her with caresses, and in a few minutes both were naked in the dark wagon.
His fingertips danced slowly down her belly, sliding easily downward between her thighs, sending spasms of pure pleasure into her. He knew just where to touch to cause her to moan with delight. Enraptured, she yielded, but mustered enough will to plead once. “No, Derek, don’t do this, please.”
His lips were devouring her breasts, moving between the swollen globes to tease. Raising his head, he taunted, “Take me, Julie. Put me where you want me,” and he thrust his swollen organ against her thigh. “I’m yours…just as you’re mine. Take me, misty eyes, all of me, if you can.”
She could no longer deny the voracious need, and her fingers inched toward him as her heart urged her on. She wrapped her hand about him, and they sank to the floor as one. Spreading her thighs, lifting her legs, she guided him, gasping with delight as he thrust inside her. Bittersweet spasms of fire flamed within her belly. She hated him and hated herself, but, oh, he did have such power.
As he plunged inside her again and again, she clutched eagerly at his undulating buttocks, inciting him. Faster and faster he drove into her, carrying them to a realm of euphoric release.
Moments later he withdrew to lie beside her, cradling her head on his shoulder. Gently, lovingly, he caressed her face. She made no sound, and he did nothing to provoke her, for he wanted the moment of peace to last. He ought to have known better. Peace was never theirs for very long. She started to dress, and he said, getting up and putting on his clothes, “I’ll walk you back to the hotel.”
“I can walk myself,” she said, then could not resist saying, “unless you want to go back to the ball in hopes of seeing Elisa. I suppose you love the way she fawns all over you.”
“Elisa?” he said. “You think I would lust after a woman in her condition?”
“Her condition is temporary. Her marital status is not—but I doubt that her being married would stand in your way if you wanted to bed her.”
“No, it wouldn’t,” he told her bluntly. “If a married woman I find desirable invites me to her bed, I don’t have the scruples to turn her down…as long as her husband isn’t
in
the bed with us.”
He laughed at himself. She was about to say something cutting when Micah came running and peered into the wagon. At the sight of Captain Arnhardt standing with Miss Marshall, certainly imprudent at such an hour, Micah bowed his cotton-white head in embarrassment.
Derek was not one to explain his own conduct, so he simply said, “Yes, Micah. What is it?”
Micah slowly lifted his eyes. He looked afraid. “Cap’n, it’s Miz Thatcher. She in a bad way. She hurtin’. She say fo’ me to fetch you quick.”
As Julie looked on in alarm, Derek touched his fingertips to his mustache thoughtfully. “It isn’t time for the baby, so this means trouble. Run on into town and find a doctor. Is there anyone with her now, Micah?”
“She wouldn’t let me get nobody but you. She say to get you and nobody else. She say she don’t want none of them old busybody women around her. That was what she said, Cap’n Arnhardt.”
“Right now she doesn’t have any choice.” He turned to Julie and told her calmly, “Go back into town with Micah and find Teresa and bring her here. Elisa can’t have any objections to Teresa.”
He hurried away, and Julie watched him disappear into the shadows. Why, she wondered, had Elisa sent Micah for Derek? Why hadn’t she just sent for a doctor?
Chapter Six
Julie rushed into the hotel lobby, ignoring the curious looks. She knew she was a sight—hair disheveled, gown mussed. Pushing through the throngs of people, she searched the ballroom until she saw Teresa and Myles standing beside the refreshment table. Both looked at her in alarm as she made her way over to them.
Myles quickly turned to grasp her elbow and lead her away from the curious before asking, “What on earth has happened?”
Julie explained, and in a minute she and Teresa were on their way to the wagon train compound, while Myles went in search of a doctor.
The two women were scurrying down the street when they heard Myles shouting, and turned to see him running from the hotel. He reached them, a look of deep worry on his face. “I’m sorry, but there’s no doctor around. There’s only one in this town, and somebody just told me he’s been gone since early morning. A whole family is sick about ten miles out, and there’s no telling when he’ll get back.”
Julie and Myles looked at Teresa, who was shaking her head. “I’ve never delivered a baby. I’ve never even seen one born.”
“I’m sorry,” Julie said. “I haven’t, either. But maybe it isn’t the baby. Maybe it’s something else.”
Myles went to find Esther Webber, and the two women continued on to Elisa’s wagon, shivering against the cold. Micah was standing outside, shoulders hunched, eyes filled with fright. “I couldn’t find no doctor, so I come back here. Is she gonna be all right, Miz Marshall? If it’s the baby, will it be all right?”
“Micah, I certainly hope the answer is yes to both your questions.” Julie patted his bony shoulder. “Pray for her. We’ll do what we can.”
She started by him, but he cried out, “If ever’thing ain’t all right, will you see to it Captain Thatcher knows it won’t my fault? His daddy told me to see to it Miz Thatcher got out to Arizona okay.”
“No one is going to blame you for anything, Micah,” Julie told him. “Now go somewhere and pray.”
Before they could call out, Derek pushed aside the canvas at the rear of the wagon, a grim look on his face. “I hope the doctor’s on the way. The baby’s coming. I don’t think it will be much longer. I wanted to move her to town, to a room somewhere, but hell, I don’t think there’s time. Did you find a doctor?”
“Dear God,” Teresa gasped.
“The doctor’s out of town,” Julie said, “and no one knows when he will be back. Myles has gone to get Esther Webber.”
A shrill scream from inside the wagon caused everyone to stiffen. Julie gave herself a shake and murmured, “We have to do what we can.”
Swiftly, Derek lifted her and then Teresa up into the wagon. “I’ll be outside if you need me,” he offered, knowing, as they did, there was nothing he could do.
Elisa was lying on her mattress, her face drawn and pale, slick with sweat. Another pain slashed through her body, and she screamed, writhing and twisting, her nails clawing at the mattress. “I can’t stand it. Get it out of me, please. Get it out!”
Julie knelt beside her. “Esther Webber is coming, Elisa,” she told her. “She’ll help. Please now, try to relax and stop fighting the pain. You might hurt the baby, and you’re making it harder on yourself.”
Elisa’s lips curled back in a snarl. “You!” she hissed, drawing away, arching her back. “Get away! I don’t want you near me.” Julie moved back, stunned by Elisa’s violent reaction.
Teresa knelt down, reaching to give Julie a reassuring pat. “She doesn’t know what she’s saying, Julie. She’s in so much pain, and she’s frightened.”
“I do know what I’m saying,” Elisa panted, her swollen stomach heaving as she waited fearfully for a new contraction. “I don’t want…that bitch near me. Get…her away.” Her shoulders rose from the mattress as she was caught in a fresh agony.
“Maybe I should wait outside,” Julie whispered.
“No, you stay right here,” Teresa told her firmly.
Elisa’s body slumped. “Both of you can get out,” she cried. “Where’s Derek? I want Derek.”
Teresa raised an eyebrow. “You’ve got a baby wanting to be born, and that’s a woman’s job, not a man’s.”
“Yes,” Elisa cried. “The baby is going to be born, and then it’s going to die. That’s the way it should be, because I never wanted it.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Teresa cried, wiping Elisa’s brow with the hem of her skirt. “We’ll do everything we can for the baby, and it’s going to be just fine.”
“I don’t want you simpering over me, you fool!” Elisa lashed out at her, flinging her arm to knock Teresa away. “Leave me alone! I want this baby to hurry and be born and die so I can get my beauty back and find a man who truly loves me.”
Fearful, Teresa moved back to kneel beside Julie. They watched as Elisa began to writhe and twist again. Her voice was strong as she cried out, “Never would have wanted me if it hadn’t been for the damn baby…life is over…beauty gone…damn baby…no one to love me…no one. Damn you, Adam.”
Teresa looked up, delighted as Esther Webber scrambled into the wagon. “Thank God you’re here! We don’t know what to do. The baby is coming.”
Esther bent over Elisa and made a hasty examination, ignoring her protests. “Yes, it’s coming,” she said without alarm. “Tell the captain we’ll need some hot water. Tell him to have a wagon ready, too. There’s no time to move her into town, but as soon as the baby comes, we will.”
Teresa moved to follow her orders, and Julie asked, “Is there anything I can do?” Then, “She doesn’t want me here,” she added hesitantly.
“Nonsense,” Esther snapped. “I may need you. It won’t be long now.”
“I…I don’t want her here,” Elisa gasped. “Please, send her away.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Esther looked at Julie in exasperation. “Of all times for you two to be feuding! Go on and get out, then. Teresa can help me.”
Gratefully, Julie went to the rear of the wagon. When Derek saw her, he helped her down. “I sent Micah for the hot water, and Thomas has gone to get the wagon ready.”
Myles stepped from the shadows and asked, “Don’t you think it’d be better if you stayed inside, instead of Teresa? I mean, in her condition…”
“I know, I know,” Julie murmured. “Elisa doesn’t want me in there. She hates me.”
“I think I understand why.” Derek’s voice was so soft that only Julie heard.