Authors: Niki Settimo
She thinks this is her fault? Her dad just caused her to have an anxiety attack in front of her brother’s entire team and she thinks it’s her fault? “In no way whatsoever have you ruined anything. I would have came out here sooner, but I had to have a word with your dad.”
“You didn’t hit him did you?”
“Believe me I wanted to. But you don’t have to
worry
about him hurting you anymore. He won’t get the chance to
do it
ever again.”
“As much as I want to believe you Dylan, he’s my dad. This happens daily, especially on holidays. I don’t know why I thought this one would be any different.”
Before I say anything, she continues her thought.
“Want to know the worst part? Julie is sitting right there with a mountain of food on her plate and he doesn’t say anything to her. She eats like crap, doesn’t workout, and never gains a pound. Why does he do it to me? I don’t understand what I did wrong.”
“Hey” I hold her a little tighter and wait till her eyes focus on me before I continue. “You have done absolutely nothing wrong. Nothing. I can’t speak for your dad on why he doesn’t treat Julie the same, but I don’t want you to let him have this much power over you. He doesn’t deserve it.”
She nods her head and I use my thumbs to wipe away her tears. We sit there
for
a little while longer before I convince her to go back inside and enjoy the rest of the night. I wait for her outside the bathroom for her to get cleaned up and I notice her mom heading towards me with a masked look of concern.
“Is she ok?”
“Yea, She’ll be fine.”
“I saved both of your plates. The bartender is holding them for you.”
“Thank you. I’m sure she’ll be hungry when she comes out.”
“I’m sorry about that Dylan. He doesn’t change. He wants the best for Elli, but he goes about it the wrong way.”
The door opens to the bathroom and Elli comes out with a smile on her face, no trace of hurt or pain, but I know it’s there. Her mom hugs her and all she says is “You know your father. Don’t pay attention to him.”
If she only knew.
We walk into the room and seamlessly merge back into the party. Tegan eyes us and I give her a reassuring look. The boys are playing floor hockey again while Elli and I play the role of referee. When dessert comes out, I try to urge Elli to pick something, but she refuses. I don’t push her since she at least finished eating dinner.
Towards the end of the night, we say our goodbyes to everyone and that we’ll see them tomorrow for the first game of the tournament. I packed a pair of sweats so I could crash at Elli’s, but Tegan has other plans for us.
“Tegan, I really don’t feel like going Black Friday shopping.” Elli complains.
“Oh come on! It’s a tradition! Isn’t it Dylan?!”
“Sorry Tegan, I’m with Elli on this one. Plus I’ve never been.”
“Come on just one store! How about the art store? It’s right next to my favorite shoe store! Win win!”
“I don’t see how Dylan is winning in this Tegan.” Elli chuckles.
“He gets to spend time with you! Come on please!”
When Tegan gets down on her knees, hands in a begging position and adds in the puppy dog face, Elli and I agree to put her out of her misery.
“Alright, alright.”
Jumping up, Tegan yells “Yes! I’ll go get changed!”
We do the same, and take Elli’s car so Tegan doesn’t have the excuse to buy more things. We won’t have as much room in her little Mazda as we would with my Jeep.
I know guys usually have an attachment with their car, but Elli’s sentimental connection with her Mazda is crazy, and it takes me forever to convince her to let me drive, since I know she’s exhausted.
“Is this another male ego thing?” she asks.
“No, it’s me driving so you don’t crash from falling asleep behind the wheel.”
“I don’t let anybody drive DiNozzo, so this is how you know I like you.”
Laughing I ask “You named your car DiNozzo?”
“Hey if you make fun of his name, you’re not driving!”
She hands over the keys and we head off to the shopping center on the other side of town. There
are
already lines in front of every store in the vicinity. When we pass the game store, I spot Anderson and call him out. We walk over to him, and he gives the girls hugs and we shake hands. Elli seems to have gotten that energy kick and is fully aware of her surroundings.
“Tegan why don’t you wait with Anderson while we’re in the art store? Then we’ll all suffer with, I mean join you in the shoe store.”
“Yes! That way you guys can help me hold all the boxes!”
We all groan and Elli and I leave and head to the art store.
“Sorry, I didn’t want her waiting
i
n line alone and I really want to prolong the shoe store as much as possible. Wom
e
n and shoes are a scary site.”
I laugh as I grab her hand and we wait on the short line for the art store. Surprisingly we get through pretty quickly. Elli seems to know the store like the back of her hand. When we get to the register, I pull out cash and hand it to the cashier before Elli has a chance to pay. $120 worth of sketchbooks and art supplies all for $20. Now I see why people go crazy on Black Friday.
“Dylan you don’t have to buy me anything!”
“I want to. And since you’re filling your sketchbooks up with me anyway, I need someway to contribute besides being the model.”
That has the cashier laughing and as we head out the doors, Elli stops me in the door and kisses me. “Thank you. Not just for the art supplies, but for being there today.”
I kiss her back and grab her hands. I feel rough skin and look to see dried blood around her nails. She must have done it at dinner and not realized it. I interlock our fingers and we walk over to the game store to wait for Tegan and Anderson. When we get inside, we see our ridiculous friends playing Mario Kart, smack talking each other like teenagers. Elli decides we should act like we don’t know them since they haven’t acknowledged us yet, and we walk out of the store and head over to the Starbucks a few doors down.
“Can I atleast pay for your dink? I hate things being so one sided. It’s not fair to you!”
“Nope. Male ego, remember?”
“Please!”
“No way. What do you want to drink?”
She takes a long time to think it over. Then she looks up with a small smile and says “Hot chocolate. I haven’t had it in years.”
“Coming right up!” I kiss her quick and order two hot chocolates. I make sure they add whip cream and we leave hand in hand. We head back to the car to put the bag from the art store in the trunk, and we walk over to the DVD store. We spend about twenty minutes talking about movies we’ve seen, what was good, why some didn’t do well, DVD covers and movie scores. I learn so much just listening to her talk about how much goes into making these films and advertising techniques the industry uses.
My phone starts vibrating in my pocket and the caller ID says Anderson. I pick up on the third ring and put it on speaker so Elli can hear.
“Done playing video games?” I ask.
“Dude! I need back up! Tegan brought me into the shoe store cause she didn’t want to wait for you two! These wom
e
n are crazy!”
The line goes dead before I can answer him and Elli and I laugh so hard we almost spit our drinks all over the movie case in front of us.
“Should we go save him?” I ask.
“I think so. I feel like I got him into this. Come on before he drowns in high heels.”
When we get to the shoe store, Anderson has about 10 boxes in his hands and is scanning the area. When he spots us, he runs over and practically throws the boxes in our hands.
“Where have you been? Wedges are 50% off and boots a
re
buy one get one free!” He runs back to where Tegan is standing on an ‘Employee Only’
l
adder and chants her on all the way to the top. “You got this! Just two more pairs!”
What in the world has come over my six foot two line mate?
“I can’t wait to tell the guys about this.” I say.
Elli just stares at the site unfolding before our eyes. “I’d grab my phone so we can have picture proof, but it’s being guarded by stilettos.”
Elli
“Can we just lay in bed all day?”
“I would love nothing more, but we’d regret missing your brothers game.”
“Why did we go
B
lack Friday shopping when we had to wake up at 7am?”
“I blame Tegan and the two cars full of shoes we had to take back here.”
“So much for our smaller car plan. You think Anderson is alive?”
“Him and Tegan fell asleep after they took inventory and divided everything by color. I think if he is still alive after that, the team will kill him for sure once they find out.”
We laugh as Dylan holds onto me around my waist. He’s never pushed me to go any further and for that, and many other reasons, I’m extremely grateful.
“What are you thinking about?”
“How lucky I am,” I say.
“Funny, cause that’s exactly what I was thinking about.”
We kiss then. It’s not rushed. It’s patient and intimate. I want this kiss to last forever. It’s perfect and so is Dylan. He makes me forget about every bad thing that’s ever happened or might happen.
When we finally pull apart, I decide if I don’t get up now, I never will. So I hop out of bed and grab clothes while I go get ready. I decide to wear Dylan’s hockey sweatshirt, jeans and boots. I never thought I’d be able to dress like this while living in Florida, but with every store having the air conditioner on full blast, including the ice rink, there’s no way shorts and a t-shirt are going to cut it.
When I come out of the bathroom, Dylan is sitting at my art desk looking through my sketchbooks again. I walk behind him and hug him around the neck while I rest my chin on his shoulder. He smiles and turns to kiss my cheek.
“I can’t believe you did all these El. They’re beautiful.”
He turns the pages of my sketchbook, and I remember where I was when I drew each picture. When he starts getting to older sketches, I want to stop him from looking, but I don’t want to hide from him. He stops on the page I knew he would and studies it. A single tear drips down my cheek as I look at the picture of a girl looking in a mirror. The girl in the mirror is beautiful. Hip bones, perfect thighs, toned arms, curves and a perfect size chest. Well, my vision of perfect. She doesn’t look like a Barbie doll. She just looks healthy; happy.
The girl looking in the mirror is a different story. Larger thighs, a little weight on her stomach, arms with that little piece of flab the shakes when you wave hello, and a large chest. Even though the picture is the main focus of the page, Dylan’s looking at the numbers written on the side of the page under the words chest, waist, hips, thighs, and arms and I explain what it all means. “I would measure myself everyday, and I recorded how many inches each part of my body was. Everyday was just another let down. Nothing ever changed, but if anything, I felt bigger. Like I gained inches. I got fed up and threw the tape measure in the fire pit. I don’t know why I kept the drawing though.”
Without saying anything, Dylan gets up and just holds me. He kisses the top of my head and I let a few tears fall before I wipe them away and smile. If he didn’t find me on the bathroom floor, I would have easily fallen back into this pattern.
It’s right then that I know, I’ve found someone to help me fight my demons.
When we finally get to the ice rink, we say hello to everyone and Dylan briefly leaves me to go say good luck to the boys before they hit the ice. I’m standing with my sister when I look into the rink and see my dad on the bench.
The medicine I’ve been on has helped with my anxiety attacks a lot. But yesterday during dinner, I couldn’t control it. When Dom found me outside, I asked him to talk about how school was going and what colleges he was looking to play for. Anything besides what just happened. He’s more mature than I give him credit for and he’s growing up extremely fast.
Dylan makes his way back to me and we all make our way to the stands. After an easy 4-1 win, they advanced to the next round which is later on tonight. The team is going out to lunch, but Dylan and I decide to go to the park and walk around. We haven’t gone to the park since the holiday started and I really miss our routine. We grab food and drinks from the deli and head to the spot by the bridge. This just feels so normal. I’m not stressed or anxious and I can eat without feeling bad about anything.
I look up at Dylan and know he’s the reason for everything positive happening in my life right now. Where would I be if he didn’t forget his phone that first night at the rink, and then his wallet the night he found me on the floor. I laugh to myself at how forgetful he is with his things, which causes him to look down at me and smile. When you find someone you can have comfortable silence with, you’ve truly hit the jackpot.