Authors: Edugardo Gilbert X
I start working
on land regulations and filing permits to expand my mining
operations. It's something I had in the works for the last few
weeks and time is getting tight on my deadlines. Two hours later,
even with so much to do I can't stop thinking about Jocelyn. I'm
worried about her eating habits. From what I've seen she's always
had a healthy appetite, yet with me she doesn't seem to eat as
much. Maybe I should take her something? I hear her soft footsteps
to the door and a knock.
"Come in." She
comes in with a plate with a sandwich and chips. "You don't need to
knock." I tell her. She doesn't respond but walks towards me in a
tight white tank top and dark grey leggings. I watch her every move
as she sets the plate in front of me. I fist my hands tightly to
keep from grabbing her.
She moves
cautiously around the desk, keeping her head down. When she stops
beside me I turn to face her trying to figure out what she's doing.
She lifts her arms, wrapping them around my neck and lifts her legs
one my one to sit on my lap. I'm almost nervous to touch her but
the need is too great. I wrap my arms around her, my hands resting
on her waist.
She leans forward
and kisses my neck. "I'm sorry." She whispers and my hands tighten
on her. I wait for her to continue. "I blamed you for not knowing
me. When it's me who hasn't tried to get to know you. I assumed so
much about you and it wasn't right."
I pull her closer
hugging her against my chest. "It's not your fault. I'm not used to
this, I'll get better." I reply, knowing it's not entirely her
fault. I know I'm not an open book. I shut down most of my
reactions and keep my thoughts to myself. I've learned to not be so
closed off with her, but it's still hard to do at times.
"Let's move on."
She says calmly, "I know what you're doing is fair and just for the
rest of the pack. I understand even if I don't like it. I'm just
going to have to visit and speak to them when I can. I'll miss my
sister but I don't hold you responsible. You'll let her come
whenever she wants, right?"
"Yes." I answer,
apprehensive to say anything more. I don't want to spoil this by
saying the wrong thing.
"Are you busy?"
She asks.
"No." I reply,
automatically.
Jocelyn's
POV
What is wrong
with me? I watch Lennox leave and my heart sinks. I've judged him
for doing something he had no choice to do. Granted he was still
wrong to say it was a fake family, but he didn't like the thought
of someone lying to me. To him it's unforgivable, a lie is a lie.
He's never had to forgive someone, it's never came up for him. He's
never loved someone and chose forgiveness and moved on. Lennox
doesn't know what having a family means, he has no clue. As much as
he can't understand me needing my family, I can't comprehend him
not needing a family. What has it been like for him never having
anyone? The isolation I've been feeling isn't anything compared to
what he must have felt. I've never been alone he's been with me and
I just didn't think he was enough. I close my eyes thinking about
the hurt I must have inflicted on him.
I climb out of
bed and go to the bathroom to take a shower. As I wash my body I
can't help but wonder about Lennox. I want to assure him I accept
him. Although a she wolf’s bite isn't needed especially in an alpha
mate situation it will show my loyalty to him. It won't deepen our
bond but it could strengthen our relationship. I need to do
something for him, I feel like I've been so selfish. I want to
start over, really try to understand and get to know my
mate.
I turn off the
shower and step out, grabbing a towel to dry off. I blow dry my
hair and get dressed before going down stairs. It's a little after
noon so I go to the kitchen. I open the refrigerator and take out
turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayo. I make him a sandwich and
put chips next to it on the plate. Carrying the plate I walk to the
office door. I knock once.
When I hear his
voice telling me to come in I feel anxious and nervous. I pay close
attention to my feet at I walk to the desk and set the plate down.
I hear him say something but I'm not really listening. I start
walking almost on autopilot to him wrapping my arms around his
neck, certain he's going to turn me away. I feel his arms rest on
my hips and I lean forward hesitantly. I kiss his neck and whisper,
"I'm sorry." Feeling like it's just not enough. He pulls me closer
hugging me against his chest. I relax into him enjoying just being
in his arms. "I blamed you for not knowing me. When it's me who
hasn't tried to get to know you. I assumed so much about you and it
wasn't right." I explain ashamed. I listen to him telling me it's
not my fault, but I barely hear him. "Let's move on. I know what
you're doing is fair and just to the rest of the pack. I understand
even if I don't like it. I'll have to visit and speak to them when
I can. I'll miss my sister but I don't hold you responsible. You'll
let her come whenever she wants, right?" I ask.
"Yes." He
states.
"Are you
busy?" I question.
"No." He
replies, quickly.
I smile.
"Good. Let's do something together." I suggest.
He nods.
"Anything."
"Wanna
run?" I question. He shakes his head no and I laugh. "Didn't you
just say anything?"
He
smirks. "We'll get three feet out that door before my wolf is on
you. Since I'm guessing that isn't what you had in mind for
spending time together, I advise something else."
"Oh,
okay. Movie?" I suggest.
"Perfect." He agrees, standing up and carrying me out of the
room. He turns right once we're out of the office door and walks to
the door at the end of the hall. I open it for him and we start
doing down a set of stairs. At the bottom he turn on the lights. I
see a large flat screen plasma television with speakers on both
sides. The large sofa with lots of pillows looks inviting he sets
me down and turns on the TV. He flips the channels until we get to
the movie stations and hands it to me to pick. I select Hunger
Games and it starts playing. Lennox sits next to me I smile up to
him resting my head on his chest.
"What's
your favorite food?" I ask.
"Apple's."
I sit up
to look at him. "Out of everything there is, you pick
Apple's?"
"I really
like them." He shrugs. I smile at his simple answer and lay back
down on his chest. A question a day should do. I'll continuously
learn something new about him every day.
At the
end of the movie Lennox suggests we eat and I follow him up the
basement steps. He makes us sandwiches since the one I made him
earlier isn't good anymore. "Why do you always insist on heating up
my meals or making them?"
"I like
to do things for you. It makes me feel needed." He answers sliding
the plate towards me.
I didn't
expect that answer. I pick up my sandwich taking a bite. "Well,
thank you for taking care of me."
"It's my
pleasure." He smirks. A knock on the back door behind me makes me
turn. Liam comes in. "Are we training today?"
"No, take
today off."
Liam nod
his head and leaves. "I should probably do all the homework he
brought to me." I say.
"We need
to talk about that."
"Okay."
"When you
go to school you'll be guarded. That's why I was mad earlier. You
left without protection. Your father doesn't know where Rachel is
and I don't want her coming here. I don't think she would, but as a
precaution until they locate her you'll have protection when you
leave the house without me."
"You
really think that's necessary?"
"No, but
it's for my piece of mind."
"You
don't think it's necessary, but it would make you feel better?" I
ask, to clarify.
Top of Form
"Jocelyn, you
could get pregnant at any point. I don't want to jeopardize your
protection or our pup on what I think will happen, because anything
could happen."
"You're right." I
say, thinking about being pregnant. Am I ready for that? Should I
ask him to start using protection until I know for sure? "Would you
start using condoms if I asked?"
He looks at me
guarded. "Why?"
"I don't know if
I'm ready for that yet." I reply truthfully.
I can see he's
not happy. "You're telling me this now?"
"Well, I didn't
really think I would get pregnant. I just ended my period. I'd like
to be more cautious now, if that's okay?"
"It's
fine."
"Are you
mad?"
"No, just a
little disappointed. I'm ready for a family, its okay that you're
not. I can wait." He says reassuringly.
**********
Visiting
Bottom of
Form
After getting
ready for school I poke my head into Lennox’s office. "I'm leaving.
I'll see you after school."
"Come kiss me
goodbye first." He orders with a smile. I feel his eyes on me as I
make my way to him. I lean down and kiss his lips quickly. "Liam is
waiting for you in the driveway." He says, huskily. I nod and turn
to leave, I feel his eyes on me as I close the door and
shiver.
I walk to the
front of the house just as Liam comes in. "Ready?" He asks when he
sees me.
"Yeah, sorry I
didn't know you were waiting for me." I apologize.
"Don't worry I
just got here. I have your book bag in my truck."
"Thanks." I say,
following him outside. I notice an SUV behind his truck. "How many
men are guarding me?" I question curiously.
"Five total." He
answers as he sits behind the wheel.
I look at him in
disbelief, after getting in the truck myself. "Five? Are you
sure?"
"I'm sure." He
chuckles.
Lennox might be
going a little overboard. Especially, considering the fact we
discussed not having pups until I'm ready. He just wants to protect
me because he loves me, I think smiling to myself. He might be an
irritating brute with the subtleties of a jack hammer but at least
he's honest. I don't ever have to fear him lying to me.
"Didn't alpha
tell you we were going to be guarding you?"
"Yeah, but five
is a little overboard if you ask me." I reply, making him
laugh.
"I've never known
Lennox to half ass anything. He doesn't leave much to chance. He
needs to protect you, so that's what he'll do."
I smile in
response, knowing what he's saying is true. We pull up to the
school and as soon as the car stops the door is opened by one of
the other guards and I smile my thanks. I pretend not to hear the
whispers about yesterday's scene in the classroom and walk to my
locker and then to my first class.
I eat lunch with
Liam and he gives me more snippets about Lennox. Liam knows so much
about Lennox, things I seem to fail to notice. Like the fact that
Lennox can't stand ranch dressing. I store that knowledge in the
back of my mind and finish the rest of the boring school day. I
have three days to finish all the assignments I've missed, which is
a relief because I haven't started any of it.
Liam drops me off
in front of the house, I thank him and walk inside. For a house
this size it's always so quiet. No echoes, nothing. It's not
welcoming, it's lonely. I feel sorry for Lennox. How could I not?
He has no idea what a family feels like. I want to give him that. I
just want to give it to him when I'm ready.
I walk to his
office hearing the clicking of him typing quickly on his keyboard.
I feel shivers when I hear his voice. I'll never get used to my
response to him. I open the door seeing him hard at work. I shut
the door not wanting to bother him and walk to the kitchen dropping
my bag on the counter. I make a sandwich and take out a bottle of
water. Sitting down at the kitchen counter bar stools I eat quickly
and take out my homework. I get through a couple assignments when I
hear someone come in. I look up to see Lennox's cook.
"Hello." I
say.
"Hi, should I
come back?" She asks timidly.
"No. Please,
don't mind me." I respond.
She nods and
starts taking things out of the refrigerator. I watch her for a few
minutes. I notice I'm making her uncomfortable so I start on more
of my work. I hear Lennox's fast footsteps minutes later. I watch
him come into the kitchen looking tired.
"Are you okay?" I
ask, worriedly.
"Just tired. I'm
trying to catch up on work. How was school?"
"Fine,
Thanks."
"I talked to
Alpha Briggs." I look at him waiting to hear more. "He said the
move went well and Marta is starting school tomorrow." I feel
better knowing they're with a pack like Andrews. They're close to
my real parents and I know Andrew has strong allies.
"That's good. I
hope she likes it there. When can I go visit?" I
question.
"This weekend if
you want." He replies seriously.