The long silence which followed at least proved to Caroline that he hadn’t entirely dismissed the idea.
Very, very softly Peter asked, ‘In your heart of hearts, is all your gut-wrenching pain as nothing now?’
She had to strain to hear and her heart jumped with joy.
‘The answer is yes, very much so. It just doesn’t hurt any more. What’s more important is we’re here, together, loving one another. And it is no longer a matter of contemplation, discussion, for agonizing over, chewing over, remembering at moments of stress between us, nor, most importantly, when we’re making love, because you may not know it but it never leaves you, even then.’
‘It doesn’t? Not even when . . . I didn’t realise.’
‘So as it is now midnight, let’s start the new day and our new life by making love all over again on the new basis we’ve just established.’
‘I don’t know if I can feel totally free of guilt like you feel free of hurt.’
‘Oh, Peter! Do you
enjoy
feeling guilty?’
‘Not one little bit, actually, but I can’t help it.’
‘Well, I’m totally free of hurt now. I see what’s the most important and that’s you and me loving each other and having our very own two children.’
‘I suppose if that’s how you feel then I don’t need to feel guilty because of your hurt, not any more, and I promise, most especially at moments like these, I shall be, as you say, completely free in my soul. And this is your husband speaking, not your priest.’
He turned towards her and took her hand in his, then raised it to his lips and kissed it.