Authors: Mya Robarts
I feel warmth coloring my cheeks red. Not only because I still remember how embarrassing it was when he learned of my V status, but also because he looks as though he’d say yes if I asked him.
I take a moment to calm myself before finding my voice. “It has to do with that … in a way.
“I’d help if I could, but I’m too
intense
for an innocent girl. I prefer positions that might be too deep, painful, and unromantic for an inexperienced girl—”
I bury my face in my palms. “Hey! I wasn’t going to ask you
that
!”
Aleksey continues as though he hasn’t heard me. “I’ve never had sex with a
virgin
. I never kiss during sex, and I prefer to not have sex in a bed. I’m into perversions that might be too advanced, kinky, and rough for you.”
Whoa! How can he say those things so bluntly to a complete stranger? Perhaps he’s taunting me. Am I supposed to laugh? I’ll rise to his challenge then. “Everything you’ve said leads me to conclude that
you’re a bad lay
.”
Any other man would feel offended. He must be extremely confident in his stud skills because he doesn’t look furious or affronted. A wicked glint shows in his now hungry eyes.
He looks at me with certain amusement, a coy smile crossing his customary scowling face. “Why would you think that?” he asks in a tone that seems to say:
You’re too innocent to understand.
“Because if
intense
is the only way you do it and you favor only one position, then you’re limited.”
He leans closer, staring into my eyes mischievously and forcing me to lean away. “I do all positions, well … I do everything. I don’t think I could explain what I meant by intense without offending you. Your inexperience made you reach the wrong conclusion.”
“If you don’t kiss and you don’t use a bed, how will you ever please your partner?”
“Oh, little Miss Velez, if only I could show you.” His blue eyes look into mine mischievously, and I force myself to not look away. “Of course I wouldn’t ever … otherwise, I would take you to a
quieter place
.”
“I wouldn’t ever let you,” I retort, forcing my voice to sound casual. An angry tone would give away my true feelings: His negative response to a sexual encounter that I never asked for not only irritates me, but also intrigues me.
I whistle, and Poncho appears all wet from his bath. I don’t look back as we make our way toward the trees.
He walks right behind me. “You were going to ask me a favor.”
“In fact it’s more than one favor.” I turn to see him and catch a glimpse of Divine and Joey eyeing us suspiciously.
“You’ll have to whisper them in my ear,” he says in a low, husky voice, looking at me hungrily.
I abruptly stop walking and my jaw drops to the floor. He’s flirting!
I’m so impressed that I stay glued to my place.
He leans in so his ear gets closer to my mouth.
His eyes turn dark as he lends me an ear.
But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die: But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbor, and slayeth him, even so is this matter: For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her.
Deuteronomy 22:25-27
Except for the chair, and
a full size mirror that Tristan lent me, my room is practically empty. I change for a workout. There’s plenty of frustrated energy inside me that I need to burn out.
My face flushes, but it’s not an effect of the workout. I feel humiliated by what I’ve just asked a perfect stranger and what he’s asked me in return. I don’t have too many choices, so it was natural that I asked … but at
his
price? I have to think carefully about this.
I’m ashamed that Aleksey knows my secrets. I feel distrustful of his soldier appearance and intrigued by the sadness I saw in his face the first time I saw him. I’m grateful because he’s helped me, and now slightly angry for what he’s asked. It’s difficult to keep up with so many conflicting emotions.
Sunset arrives in a succession of pushups, crunches, squats, and jumps. I’m determined to improve my chances of defending myself against soldiers. The first step is to become TCR’s top fighter.
I take a break and look at the window. My eyes meet an unusual image.
Aleksey sits on the clinic’s roof with his back to me, his muscular legs crossed. He seems to be contemplating the vastness of the woods below. It’s not unusual for him to go there when the clinic has little movement. What’s peculiar is that Olmo sits there next to him, imitating Aleksey’s somber face and sitting position while eating an orange. Quietly.
Apparently
, Olmo has found a role model and enjoys his company, even if his hero rarely speaks. Poncho is with them, so I know Olmo’s relatively safe, but I hate the idea of him getting attached to this stranger.
Olmo disappears from my view when Dad calls him for another homeschooling session. If Aleksey has heard Olmo’s enthusiastic goodbye, he doesn’t show it. The cop intrigues me. Why is he always alone? How would he answer my requests? What should I answer to his? Perhaps it’s better to be prepared for a negative answer to both of my petitions. I’m still considering his, though.
I shake my head and return to my training. I haven’t lost hope of losing my V, so I exercise my inner muscles through Kegel exercises. I’ll clasp my partner’s penis so tightly that he won’t ever forget me. I just hope I won’t get raped before getting a partner.
* * *
The steep streets are strangely deserted for an early, drizzly evening. Poncho and the twins have gone home ahead of me, sick of waiting in line for hours to get some food—food which is now hidden in my backpack. I carry a knife hidden inside my cloak. Just in case.
The Accord unit sits on the curb drinking. I don’t know why they don’t go to the Canteen. Hell! I don’t know why they don’t do what they’re supposed to do: protect civilians from the abuse from the troops. I wish they would return to their countries.
Unlike the rest of them, their leader doesn’t laugh. Aleksey is scribbling in his leather-bound journal instead.
Remembering the events of the past days, I frown. Aleksey discovered my secrets and made fun of me. Then he made a strange proposition and hasn’t spoken to me since then. He hasn’t even bothered to answer my request properly. I hate to see him surrounded by drunken assholes. I intend to pass them, pretending they don’t exist.
Unfortunately, they don’t return the same courtesy. As I get nearer, someone chuckles.
“Prince Aleksey. Isn’t that the girl who has a pair of green oceans instead of eyes?” A raspy voice says with an amused tone. The cops respond with guffaws and catcalls. “No wonder she’s blushing.”
They are so drunk that I don’t try to find sense in their words. Aleksey doesn’t answer.
“Sir Tristan,” says Gary Sleecket adjusting his belt around his round belly. “The girl’s rolling her eyes at us. You and Prince Aleksey should teach her some respect.”
Someone drawls. “Sleecket, look at her, isn’t she more your type?”
Neither Tristan nor Aleksey participates in the mockery. From the corner of my eye I see Aleksey glaring at them, effectively making them shut up.
I can’t snap at them. I don’t stand a chance at defending myself if these tall guys get violent. I have experienced Aleksey’s strength first hand. Deciding to ignore them, I walk past wearing a contemptuous expression that only makes them laugh more.
The sky is getting darker. There’s barely any Starvillers in sight. I stop by the apothecary and return home, taking a different route.
When I’ve walked half the way to the clinic, Gary Sleecket appears behind me. He must be in his fifties, and his substantial built tells me he must have been one of the best soldiers of his country.
I nervously glance around. No signs of the other cops. Are they ambushing me?
“Where are you going, sweet pie?” His speech sounds so slurred that I can barely make out what he says. “I can walk you home if you want.”
I change direction several times, but I can’t get rid of him. “You’re a sweet girl with a nice cunt waiting to be licked.”
I gasp, feeling a sudden need to vomit, which is soon replaced by hot fury. I speed up my pace, but he quickly catches up. The few passers-by I run into are oblivious to my distress.
“Are you a virgin? What am I saying? You obviously are.”
I don’t like the V-word any other day. With the leering look in his eyes, I feel the insult deep in my heart.
I can’t see any of the others, so perhaps I can hit him. But what if I try to punch him, and he calls his companions? Evasion is the best option. I drop my backpack and flee at top speed.
The chase seems to excite him. “You’re the juiciest bitch in heat I’ve ever seen.”
My heart beats furiously. I can’t disregard the idea that he might rape me if he finds a deserted alley, so I take a free-of-alleys route. His companions don’t appear.
The cop keeps chasing me, whispering all kind of obscenities. When he gets tired of me ignoring him, his right hand shoots out and touches my lower back. I almost gag at his revolting touch. If a slimy giant cockroach had licked me, it would’ve been less disgusting.
He traps me from behind, trying to force me into a deserted building.
“Get off me!” I scream struggling with all I have. The nausea his touch provokes almost makes me double over.
I step to the side and drop my body. It makes him lose his grip and gives me access to hit his stomach first, then his groin. He shouts in pain before I break into a run.
I sprint toward the plaza screaming “Fire!” His legs are longer and still have the inhuman speed of a soldier. He catches up in seconds. Gary puts his strong arms around me, effectively trapping me. He lifts me in a choke hold, making sure I can’t hurt his groin again.
My fire warning has caught some attention, but nobody helps me. On the contrary, people get away from the scene.
I bring my chin down to make room for air. I crouch and use my legs to make him lose balance. I’m about to get myself free when somebody pulls him away from me and hits him furiously.
“You son of a bitch! Stay away from her.”
I haven’t ever been happier for having Rey in my life.
Rey face is contorted with rage when he punches Gary again. Gary recovers and soon the two strong men are fighting. The cop’s face is twisted in an evil expression. With the differences in their trainings, Gary has the edge in the fight and Rey barely avoids Gary’s attacks.
I position myself and throw my knife, but the knife blade can’t pass through the Accord armor.
It’s almost as though Gary’s playing. Enjoying it. He effortlessly avoids Rey’s punches to his face. “You attacked me unprovoked. Are you this whore’s pimp?”
With renewed fury, Rey’s fist manages to find Gary’s face again.
When Gary’s hands go to his armor and he retrieves a pistol, all the blood drains from my face.
Rey puts himself in front of me. His strong body forms a barrier between me and Gary.
“Rey, don’t.”
“Rey, don’t,” mimics Gary, smiling. “Who’s gonna miss a pimp and his whore when there are so many decent citizens killed every day?”
He’s right. We live in a war state. Laws are bent and ignored. Besides, Rey and I are less than third-class citizens for the Patriots and the Accord cops. This guy can do anything he wants as long as he has the gun.
All the onlookers are gone, they fear for their lives. We can’t expect any help.
Gary’s voice turns derisive. “You fucking asshole. You want this cunt so much? Huh?”
Rey’s face doesn’t display a single ounce of fear. I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid of what this guy might have in store for us before he shoots us dead.
“Is she that good? Does she suck you well? Show me, bitch.”
Panic dries my mouth and slows my movements. Gary’s eyes tell me his real intentions. He’ll rape Rey by forcing him to rape
me
. Then Gary will violate me, too. My worst nightmare is becoming a reality.
Perhaps I can buy us time. I need this guy to cool off. I start to kneel. Slowly.
Unfortunately,
Gary becomes aware that I’m trying to buy us some time.
“I don’t have the whole day, you fucking whore!” he bellows.
My heart skips a beat when Gary points the gun at Rey, takes the safety off, and shoots.
My scream echoes in the empty streets. “No!”
The bullet misses Rey’s face
by a hairsbreadth.
I’m sure Gary missed on purpose to make his message clear.
“Next bullet is direct to your forehead, you pair of hole diggers. So hurry, whore, and show me how you suck it.”
Rey looks at the gun defiantly, not at all scared. He glances at me fleetingly. I can see his protectiveness. I know he’s going to fight Gary for the gun.
Panic has subsided to numbness. My mind stops working. I’m suddenly deaf and partly blind. Time stretches like an elastic band. All my mind registers is Gary’s finger as he’s about to pull the trigger on the gun.
At that moment, someone arrives but I keep my eyes on Gary. I don’t expect help from the newcomer because he wears the Accord armor and cape. The new arrival seems invincible, even without a gun. We can’t defeat and escape two armed guys.
My senses return the moment that Gary’s back hits the wall, still holding the gun.
“Aleksey … Sir,” whispers a now white-faced Gary.
Aleksey’s eyes are furious as he slams his fist into Gary’s jaw. Gary wavers and almost falls to the floor. His pistol falls several feet away.
“Take her away,” Aleksey commands, his eyes fixated on Gary. Rey is as shocked as I am by Aleksey’s words and doesn’t move. We witness, transfixed, the full power of a bestial man like Aleksey in all his fury. He hits Gary repeatedly, and the older cop looks more surprised than hurt when he falls to the ground with a loud thud.
Aleksey forces Gary to stand before landing more punches and kicks amidst feral grunts. He moves with lighting speed and Gary’s counterattacks never reach him.
As though Gary was as light as feathers, Aleksey grabs him by behind and tosses him toward the opposite wall. His back and head crash against the wall with a deafening sound before landing on the concrete. The impact has left cracks on the wall, and brick particles fall to the ground.
This display of strength is spectacular for an ex-soldier. In fact, I don’t think even active, drug-filled soldiers can lift other military men like this.
A regular person wouldn’t survive that kind of collision. But Gary is an ex-soldier, and his armor is sturdy. He painfully straightens up using the wall for support.
Aleksey doesn’t seem to be about to stop. “I told you to take her away! RUN!”
We finally flee the scene. I can’t believe it. Aleksey has helped me again.
Rey climbs his way to the clinic with me and insists on bringing me to my door. “Are you okay, Lily?” After all the horrible things I’ve said, he’s put his life at risk for me without hesitation.
“No, I’m not okay.” We’ve barely avoided sexual abuse. The worst of my fears.
He startles me when he pulls me into a bear hug. I blame the furious beating of my heart on the adrenaline of a barely escaped attack.
I could’ve lost him.
My heart constricts painfully at the thought.
My feelings for Rey are stronger than I thought. It’s taken this incident and the fear of losing him for me to realize. Hesitantly, I put my arms around him and bring him closer to me. I hear his heart pounding in his chest. I won’t expect more from him for now. I just want to stay like this a little bit longer.
He pulls away abruptly and climbs down the staircase, leaving me in emotional turmoil.
I opened a gate when I tried to seduce Rey. Now, I don’t know how to close it.
* * *
Contradictory rumors about the disappearance of an Accord cop spread over Starville. Some people claim they saw Prince Aleksey crush Gary Sleecket’s skull in his hands and then throw the body into the river. Others swear Sleecket is a Patriot spy who fled town upon discovery. Whatever the town says, Gary has joined the group of soldiers that haunt me at night when I dream of my mom.
Aleksey has reverted back to being a fort of silence and hasn’t talked to me since that day. I try to thank him the next time we meet at the glade, but he brushes me off.
“I didn’t do it for you. I just can’t stand rapists.”
He may as well add:
Don’t bother me,
because that’s what his voice tone and face scream. But even if he didn’t do it for me I still owe him. If only he weren't a cop, I’d admit he isn’t a bad guy. Besides, I can’t hate anyone who says he despises rapists. Should I accept his proposition now?
I’m the only Velez who is concerned about his soldier traits, and I wonder why a man so burly doesn’t remind Dad of the soldiers who brutalized his wife. I warn my family about the dangers of befriending drunken cops, but they ignore my request of not eating the food Aleksey brings. I always expect Olmo to trust and try to befriend people, even the Starvillers who mock his skin color. My dad, well, leave it to him to be the eternal optimist, but Azzy? She’s too comfortable around Aleksey.
I ask her about it, and she only winks at me. “I can’t be scared of a guy who is crazy about my sister.”
I snort, but secretly I want to believe her. I’m somehow hungry for male affection, although I’d prefer Rey’s. It’ll be better to devote my thoughts and energy to more pressing matters. Like getting my job back.
* * *
Poncho and I ride the train back to Starville after a long day of job hunting in Shiloh. Since Gary’s attack, my customary paranoia around men has returned.
I don’t go anywhere without Poncho and any flirting attempts are now unthinkable. I take out my knife as soon as we jump off in Starville.
When I pass the mall ruins, I run into someone. Someone whose arrogant gait infuriates me. Someone who hasn’t answered a certain request properly. Instead of saying an ordinary thing like, “
hi,”
he passes me as though he hasn’t seen me.
“
Aleksey
Furt
!
”
I’m almost sure his last name is pronounced
fee-uh-st,
but I made it sound like
fart
on purpose.
He doesn’t turn his head.
As far as I’m concerned, he hasn’t even
heard me.
“
Mr.
Fee-uh-st
!” Nothing.
I’m okay with him being broody, weird, and quiet. But he won’t
ignore me. “General Fürst!” He keeps ignoring me. Perhaps he is just as good as I am at tuning annoying people out.
Aleksey is now several feet ahead of me. What do the Accord Cops call him? Oh, yeah! He has a nickname. “Prince Aleksey, sir?”
He finally stops and turns his head. His expression is somber, haughty. But I see a hint of amusement in his eyes. The guy has a sense of humor after all. Although something in his eyes makes me uneasy. They remind me of the teenage soldier who was my mother’s cruelest attacker.
Not knowing what else to do now that I have his attention, I theatrically curtsey and lower my head. “I haven’t received an answer, your highness,” I say, hoping he doesn’t notice my trembling hands.
The cop’s grave face doesn’t reveal anything. We stand in front of each other silently for an eternity before I break the silence. “Prince Aleksey, you seem to be a little bit bored. May I offer you a form of passing the time?”
His wary look grows starker.
I notice he doesn’t smell like alcohol today. I venture a look. “I think you’ll find it pleasurable to train me in wooden sword fighting. And driving?”
He’s listening but looks reluctant. “Pleasurable,” he repeats, mulling over the word for some moments. Then he shakes his head. “I can’t.”
“You’ve told me that before, at the river. May I inquire why not?”
“Neutrality.”
That’s true. Accord cops are supposed to be neutral, and they shouldn’t fuel uprisings.
“May I point out that I’m a little girl in a forgotten city, and the ‘very neutral’ Accord units have been covering Patriots’ crimes?”
He looks at the horizon, looking vaguely annoyed at my statement and use of finger quotes.
“Besides, you might’ve not noticed, but my loyalty isn’t with the Nats.” I shift my weight from one foot to the other. “I’m not a Nat. I’m not a Patriot. I’m an American. I won’t enter a political fight. I just want to learn how to defend myself from attacks. Like the one you saved me from some days ago.”
He hasn’t said yes, yet but something tells me he might if I say the right words.
“I heard you tell my brother: ‘
Give people a trout…’
”
“A fish.”
I wave my hand impatiently. “‘…
and you feed them for a day. Teach people to fish, and you feed them for a lifetime.’
So …” I swallow before continuing. “This is similar. I thank you for defending me from one of your group, but you won’t be around forever.”
He looks at me. That hungry, penetrating look he had when we first met. It shoots electrical currents through my body.
Aleksey takes a step closer. I fight my impulse to look down and retreat. Instead, I hold his stare. To my surprise, he’s the one who looks away. He sighs, nods, and mutters something unintelligible before walking away.
He said yes! We didn’t set a place or time, but he’ll have to make good on his word. And he didn’t ask for anything in return this time! I childishly prance my way toward the clinic with Poncho playfully jumping along with me.
I’m passing Deuteronomy Street, just in front of the Accord headquarters building when I feel him.
Oh no!
I stop my prancing. There’s no hope he didn’t see my childish display. Did he come to establish a time?
Aleksey looks like a lion about to corner his prey. “Miss Velez, I’ve just answered yes to your request. Have you considered the deal I offered you?”
I look down, and I’m ready to bolt. My body language screams that I still don’t have an answer.
He takes a step closer. “Let’s discuss the terms of my offer.”
I swallow hard. “Shoot.”
He shakes his head “The glade, in four days, at dawn.”
I keep looking at the place where he’s disappeared inside the building and let out a breath. Why the glade? Why can’t we discuss his new proposition now? He’s so confusing.
I start to sprint as the howling wind brings back my customary pessimistic thoughts. In a matter of minutes, the weather has gone from scorching to windy. I adjust the hood of my cloak.
When we reach the stairs to the clinic, Poncho’s stance becomes alert. Something’s happening at the clinic. I climb at top speed and bring my hands to my knife holder.
When I enter, I don’t see anyone around, but there are voices coming from an emergency room. Poncho isn’t in attack mode, but clearly something is wrong.
I approach the doors with slow steps. One is ajar. I can’t see anyone. Suddenly the piercing scream of someone in agony breaks the air. I hurry to the door.
“Lily!” says an anguished voice.
It’s Rey calling me.
I enter the room and freeze in horror.