Authors: Mya Robarts
The body on the operating
table is unrecognizable because all the bruises. The floor under the table is smeared with blood. He’s lying on his stomach while Dad takes care of his wounds.
A shiver goes down my spine. I realize what has happened. It reminds me of something I read not long ago on TCR’s old gadget: An autopsy form. It’s as though I have that report in front of me now.
I make a checklist of possible causes of death in my mind.
Acute bleeding
Anal tearing
Rectum perforation
But the victim didn’t die this time. He survived and is in agonizing pain, his clothes stained with blood and fecal matter. In my shock and confusion, I can’t figure out who he is but I know he’s facing a form of castration.
Someone raped him.
I cross the doors feeling my mouth getting dry. I look around the room. Mathew, Cara, Luke.
The survivor is shirtless. Someone has drawn in his skin using blood and dark ink. His mouth is bleeding and has all the signs that it was forced to receive something against his will. Rey is kneeling next to him as seizure strikes the survivor’s battered body.
Duque Diaz.
My eyes fill with tears. Why Duque? I care for him as much as I care for Rey.
I want to comfort Rey, but nothing comes to mind. What do you say to someone who has seen the people he loves the most attacked by rapists? First the woman he loved, now Duque.
What if it had been Olmo? Azzy?
The tranquilizers take effect, and Duque’s agitated jerks turn into exhaustion.
I timidly walk toward Rey. He looks physically unscathed.
“Are you … do you have any wounds?”
He shakes his head. His face is full of anguish. I hate seeing him like this. I hesitantly put my arm around Rey’s big shoulders and lean my head a little. It’s my way to tell him
I’m here for you
. He holds my hand. We stay like that for some moments.
Nobody speaks for a while.
A strained voice breaks the silence. “I have to go.” Cara leaves the room, fighting the tears that threaten to overcome her. This scene must be a horrible reminder of the abuse she suffered.
“We were almost at the railroad when we saw soldiers coming.” Luke Rivers answers my unspoken question. “We separated to hide in the trees. When the coast was clear, we couldn’t find Duque. Then we heard his screams.” He pauses, and I swear he’s shivering. “We searched for hours and we were about to ask for backup when we found him. Like this.”
“It looks like two soldiers attacked him,” says my dad.
Duque, still under the effects of a tranquilizer, stirs.
“Let me die,” he whispers.
Rey’s eyes are full of an agony we both know well. It’s the feeling of being powerless when the people you love are suffering.
Dad assures him the worst of the bleeding is over.
The door opens, and Baron Diaz enters the room, demanding to know what happened. Baron’s face slowly changes from concern to disapproval.
“Why he didn’t fight?” A collective gasp is the only answer to his question.
“Dad!” Rey’s voice is a mix of shock and contained anger.
“All evidence shows that he did and looked what happened,
compadre
. It made his attackers more violent,” says Dad.
I don’t know if I should give privacy to Rey and Duque at this moment. I want to stay with Rey, but something tells me that Duque, unconscious as he is, doesn’t want anyone to see him like this. Especially not a female friend.
Dad takes the decision for me. “Everyone, please leave the room. Duque’s wounds will need particular care. Rey, you can stay.”
I look up to see Rey’s face. His gaze is intense. He reluctantly lets me go, and
waits until he thinks I can’t see him to drop on his knees and cover his head with his hands. His despair breaks my heart. I feel desperate too but for different reasons.
If Duque’s life will never be the same, I hope he had the chance to love Veronica physically. I hope he wasn’t a V man.
I close the door behind me and head to my room. I’m sure the image of the raped man on the table will haunt my dreams.
* * *
I make my way to the clinic after a day of unsuccessful attempts to get a job in Shiloh.
Duque’s attack isn’t uncommon in Starville but still stirs a round of gossip. People who usually ignore me try to start conversations, but I know they only want to be nosy about Duque.
According to Dad, his godson’s anus was destroyed by the attack. Duque’s had a colostomy and will remain at the clinic for a while, so the Diaz relatives spend a lot of time here. He has made it clear he wants to be alone.
It mustn’t be easy for him. He must feel as though his attackers emasculated him. It doesn’t help that a sobbing Veronica and her father came to ask him to liberate her from their engagement.
Baron’s family is a very tight knit group. My aunt Olga Busko and Pastor Adriel Lee Rivers tried to pay a visit Duque and were dismissed. Not even the multitude of Diaz cousins and aunts have gotten to see Duque. I know Rey needs some space at this moment. I tried to comfort him once, and he acted as though he didn’t want to see me. Unfortunately, we’ve had more soldiers than usual at the clinic lately, so I remain out of sight. When Rey’s ready, he’ll search for me.
I can’t stop thinking about the hell Duque’s going through.
I can’t shake this feeling that the next
victim will be me.
If my worst nightmares came true and someone violated me, would it be possible for me to have a normal life? To enjoy it?
Just then,
I hear a velvety voice.
I turn and see Tristan flashing a dazzling smile hurrying up to catch up with me. “Hello, Miss Velez,” he says with an accented voice. “Are you on your way to the clinic? Me, too.”
I smile shyly. “Isn’t that fraternizing?” The punishment for Accord cops who fraternize with either side of the war can get nasty. They’re supposed to be neutral.
“You’re worth of deportation, torture, and death,” he says, grinning.
I grin back at him. Tristan is so easy to like. Walking to the clinic accompanied by him carrying my backpack, puts me in a good mood.
Tristan’s only twenty-one and has been a cop for four months. I’m usually completely tongue-tied around strangers, especially young guys. He doesn’t mind the long lapses in which I’m quiet, though. Between asking me polite questions and spilling the beans on Gary’s whereabouts—sent to a hospital in Gyges before deportation—Tristan’s been talking a lot about his “boss.” He evidently looks up to him. I’m surprised to hear that Aleksey is only twenty-five. He looks so mature. Not surprised to hear that he has never lost a fight and that he’s a lone wolf.
“Soldiers and civilians admire Prince Aleksey but they don’t accept him because he’s different. They don’t see him as a human, but the Velez family does.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask intrigued. “Girls swarm around him all the time!”
Tristan stops walking and hands me some headphones. “Yes, because he’s attractive, but they think of him as a stunning piece of flesh, not a person. A little bit as though he is a freak because he’s a giant. Listen.”
His j-device projects an image, and I put the headphones on. Tristan recorded his patrol and something more. I recognize Elena and her girlfriends talking in sexual terms about Aleksey for some minutes. Admiringly. But then …
“Can you imagine having kids with someone like him?”
a giggling girl says.
“No way. He’s gorgeous, but there’s no room for his freaky offspring inside me. What a creep! His dick on the other hand …”
answers Elena.
Their words make me furious. They’d be lucky if someone like Aleksey did as much as to turn to look at them. Too bad I can’t fight an untrained person because Elena has been getting on my nerves lately.
Tristan seems pleased by my reaction. “Prince Aleksey rejects everyone because he likes his solitude, but also because women see him as a sex-toy. He’s been lonely forever, devoting every minute of his time to our missions. But I’m sure if he found the right girl he’d be different.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because there’s been some diplomatic turmoil. Nationalists and Patriots regard Gary as a war hero. He saved many civilian lives of both countries. Now, many people around North America see Prince Aleksey as the bad guy.” Abruptly irritated, I kick a pebble out of the way. Of course! Gary, the rapist, would become popular, while Aleksey, the different one, would become the bad guy. Tristan doesn’t like this either. “He doesn’t care, but I wish people understood him. He’s saved my life twice and yours, too.”
I make a mental note to analyze all this information later. That’s when I notice some girls shooting me darker looks than usual. They’re always lusting after the younger cops, and here I am, effortlessly talking to one of them. Unchaperoned.
“You Starvillers aren’t very welcoming, are you?”
His offhand, friendly attitude makes it easy to talk to him. “I don’t think you’re about to ask for a Starville girl’s hand, right?”
“Their hands?”
He chuckles. “
Prince Aleksey and I are the only unmarried cops in our battalion, but we can’t marry Americans. If we married a Patriot citizen, Nats wouldn’t admit us in their country and vice versa. It’d be a disaster if Americans denied us access to occupied towns. There are a lot of abuses as it is.”
.
“Because the UNNO does nothing to stop it,” I said sharply.
His face becomes serious. “We’ve made mistakes, but the good outweighs the bad. You don’t have the official numbers, but I do. Americans need us, and we want to help.”
Another deluded innocent like Olmo who sees what he wants to see. I look at him skeptically. Doesn’t he know the way most Accord cops turn a blind eye to Patriots crimes? Didn’t a cop attack me? No point in discussing this with him. Let’s see how he acts on recruitment day. When the troops break the recruitment protocol, will he risk his life to stop them?
“So … you’ll protect Starvillers, even if they aren’t agreeable, won’t you?”
Tristan observes me intently with a fascinated expression. “Well, Starvillers have their fun side too. I can’t wait for the Assumption of Mary feast.”
The Assumption Feast and the Anniversary of the Patriot Constitution occur on the same date. Starvillers pretend to celebrate a Patriot holiday when in reality they celebrate the religious party. One of the few liberties we have in Starville is freedom of creed. Religious books are the only approved readings by Patriots. The soldiers never miss a Sunday service.
I kick some pieces of rubble. “How can people celebrate at a time like this?”
“They were going to cancel after the air raid but we haven’t been to a town feast ever, so we pushed for it. Prince Aleksey took charge of the music and the ornaments. Are you going to the party?” In response, I flinch. “You should come,” he says flirtatiously. “I can walk you home after.”
It almost sounds like a date. I better not read much into this, but I’m glad I got a lot of information about Aleksey. I understand his proposition now.
We wave goodbye at the clinic’s courtyard, and I hurry to my room for another workout.
I take a broomstick with the intention of practicing wooden sword fighting. I’m only wearing short white pants and a white tank top.
I keep training all afternoon. I’m about to go to the clinic’s shower when I hear steps outside my door.
Someone’s outside. There’s a soft knock, and a masculine voice caresses my name.
I open the door to find him standing there.
Rey’s body and face display
desperation, fury, guilt. I haven’t seen him so distressed since the troops recruited Angie, and it’s a heartbreaking sight. His beautiful amber eyes peer into mine in an agonizing look. It’s heartbreaking.
He needs me.
“Duque.” He repeatedly blinks. “He says … he’ll kill himself.”
Oh, no! Duque! I think I understand how Duque feels. I’d want to be dead too if they recruited me.
We run to each other arms and hug tightly.
I know what it’s like to have your family hurt by rape. I can’t stand to see him like this. I want to do something, say something. But I’ve never been good with words. I put my arms around his neck and rest my head on his chest. He puts his arms around me, pulling me closer.
I don’t know how long we stay like that, sharing our emotions, silently at first.
We move to cuddle on my cot, talking softly. Not about TCR as we usually do. He talks to me about his pain and his fears. He tells me he’d feel devastated if Duque weren’t around and how much he wants to kill Duque’s attackers. He wants to protect Reyna from danger, as he promised on his mother death’s bed, but now he thinks he’s failed Duque. He fears he’ll never be free to start his own family. I feel exactly like him. The war has hurt us both in similar ways. His pain is my pain; his fears, my fears.
My hospital cot is too small for both of us.
Our bodies are tightly pressed. I feel his chest falling and rising in the rhythm of his breathing and right now it’s tense. He moves a little to accommodate me better in his arms and accidentally brushes against my breast. The contact of his body against mine makes me shiver. It feels thrilling. Arousing.
The atmosphere in the room changes, and I realize my body is shaking. Rey must have noticed it too because the tenderness in his eyes turns into something else.
He puts his hand under my chin to force me to look up before kissing me. Desperately. With all the passion he has. And boy! He’s a very passionate man. We are so close that I immediately feel when he hardens.
I’m so shocked that my first impulse is to reject him. But my slight push on his muscular shoulders doesn’t do anything to stop him. If anything, his kiss gains intensity. His hands roam up and down my stomach, my waist, and my hips. They gently move up and down my bare legs stopping at my calf. He moans softly in my mouth. His sounds of pleasure have an unwanted arousing effect. I don’t want to feel like this now when he’s so vulnerable and disrupted.
I don’t reciprocate. My lips are unyielding.
He takes his shirt off and rolls me on the bed, so he’s on top. Rey’s lips graze their way down from my lips to gently suck my neck. Waves of pleasure travel down my core.
If I let go, I won’t be a V-girl anymore. Hesitantly, I trail my hands over the solid muscles of his stomach. He responds automatically, rubbing his body against mine.
Reason disappears when he slowly, deliberately rolls up my T-shirt to kiss my stomach. It makes my body ignite with fire. And he does not stop.
I finally have his full acceptance. I’ll lose my V tonight.