The Truth of Yesterday (4 page)

     “God, you are so beautiful, Killian. I could just stare at you all night long. You know, this is exactly the way I hoped this would happen, but I was too afraid to actually think it would.”

     “Oh ye of little faith,” I teased.

     “It's not going to be an easy road, though. You know that, right?”

     “I never thought it would be. You're going to have to be patient with me. I doubt I can drop all the walls at once. I might need your help.”

     “We'll work on it together. You know you're not the only one with walls though, right?”

     
“You too?”

     He lay down next to me and I cuddled into his side. “I think everybody has them to some degree,” he said, “Some are worse than others. From my experience, it seems that gay guys have more walls than most. I guess we have to start building our defenses sooner than some people.”

     I twisted around so I could see his face better. “You've told me about being abused and how you reacted by having sex with a lot of people, but you've never mentioned falling in love. Am I the first person you've ever loved?”

     Micah softly stroked the side of my face. “No, I fell in love once before, when I lived in DC. We lived together for a while.”

     “Why'd you break up?”

     “I moved here, he stayed in DC. Neither of us wanted to do the long distance thing. We made a mutual decision to just call it quits; we both agreed that we'd run our course and there was no sense in waiting until things got ugly to break up. At least this way we could stay friends.”

     “Did you?”

     “For a while, and then the phone calls got farther and farther part. Eventually we just stopped calling, about the same time I met you.”

     “Are you over him?”

     He thought for a moment. “Yes. I never really expected that to be a forever thing.”

     “What about us? Are we a forever thing?”

     He stared into my eyes for several seconds before answering. “I don't know. I guess that remains to be seen.
Any other questions, sir?”

     “What? You know everything about me; I'm just trying to learn more about you.”

     “You know everything that's important. You know I love you. You know I want to be with you. What more do you need?”

     
“Um, how about a written guarantee?
Completely satisfied or my money back.”

     He threw his head back and laughed. “I'll satisfy you, you little twerp,” he said as he threw his leg over my lower body and began to tickle me.

     I laughed, wiggled, and writhed under him as I gasped for breath.
“Stop!”
I finally managed to shout. He collapsed on top of me where we both panted and giggled.

     “If anyone walked in right now they'd never believe that you were just tickling me,” I wheezed.

     “We are fully clothed you know,” Micah pointed out. He sat up and reached into his pocket.

     “I have something for you,” he said as he pulled out a small gray jewelry box.

     “Oh, is that what I felt? You mean you weren't just happy to be lying on top of me?” I asked without taking my eyes off of the box.

     “Oh, I was quite happy to be there. I'm sure what you felt was the real thing. This is just something I bought for you. I was going to give it to you no matter what you decided. If we broke up, it was something to remember me by.
If we didn't, then…well, here.”

     I took the box gingerly and held it in my lap, half afraid to open it.
“Always prepared.
You'd make a good boy scout.”

     
“Except for the fact that I'm gay.
Open it, please.”

     I looked down apprehensively at the box. What if it was a ring? I wasn't ready for that. With a sigh, I tentatively pried open the lid and felt all my anxiety drain away.
Nestled against the silvery gray lining lay a beautiful rainbow pendant on a delicate silver chain.
The pendant was in the shape of an inverted triangle outlined in silver with the rainbow colors in the middle.

     “I went with silver because you don't seem like the gold type,” Micah said softly. “It's a pride necklace.”

     “I've never seen one so beautiful.”

     “I hope you like it. I've never seen you wear anything like it, but I saw it in the store and…”

     “I love it.” I leaned forward and kissed him on the lips.

     “Want me to put it on you?”

     “Please?”

     He took the box from my hands and freed the necklace. He fiddled with the clasp until it opened, then moved around behind me on the bed and put it around my neck. It lay perfectly in the hollow at the base of my throat.

     “Stand up so I can see,” he said in my ear.

     With a little shiver, I did as he asked.

     “You look incredible,” he said with a sexy smile.

     “So do you.”

     “It's a shame to let all this go to waste. What do you think about heading over to the Inferno?”

     The Inferno was a local gay dance club. It was back in the country in the last place you'd expect to find a club of any sort, let alone a gay one. We'd been a few times and I'd been delighted to discover that I loved to dance and was actually pretty good. While I was technically underage, Micah knew the bouncer, a bulldog of a drag queen named Carmen, and I was allowed entrance without a word. I jumped at the chance to go dancing. I left a note for Adam telling him where Kane and I were so he wouldn't worry, and then we left.

     If you didn't know what you were looking for, you would have never suspected that the unassuming two-story cinder-block building surrounded by a few pine trees and acres of field was anything other than a warehouse or something similar. From the outside, it was quite unremarkable, no paint on the walls and no windows to speak of. A small inconspicuous sign above the large black metal door declared this to be the Inferno. The gravel parking lot was full of cars, typical of a Friday night.

     Next to the door, under an overhang, a podium had been set up with a high bar stool behind it. On the stool sat Carmen. No one who has ever met Carmen will likely ever forget her. She was very large, for one thing, she easily topped out at six foot six without her heals-which must have added at least another three inches-and she was built like a tank. Her square face would never be described as pretty, or even attractive. She compensated for her lack of looks with an abundance of make-up and hair big enough to have its own zip code. Tonight the wild wig she had chosen to sport was approximately the same shade of pink as Pepto-Bismol. Her silver sequined ankle length dress was a few sizes too small, but it was all pulled together by the pink feather boa draped around her shoulders. Her trademark mirror-ball earrings dangled from her ears. I couldn't see her shoes but I knew from previous trips that I could have used them as skis. While the
Eastern Shore
wasn't the most liberal part of the state, rednecks and country bumpkins abounded, no one ever feared any trouble with Carmen on duty. I'd heard rumors that she kept a large pistol somewhere on her person and that she knew how to use it. I didn't doubt it for a second.

     “Well, well, well, if it isn't my favorite boys,” she said waving a large red lollipop around.

     “You say that to all the boys,” Micah said with a grin.

     “You know it, honey. So Micah, darling, are you still running around with this baby?”

     “He has a name, Carmen.”

     “I know your name, don't I, Killian baby?” she said waving the lollipop under my nose. I noticed it was shaped like a penis.

     
“Hi, Carmen.”

     “The baby speaks. He is a pretty one; I have to give you that. Just be sure you hide him if the big bad police ever happen to show up.”

     “I promise,” Micah responded with a grin. He slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me into the Inferno. The name was fitting. The noise may have been the first thing to hit you as you entered, but the heat was close behind. Once your eyes adjusted to the dim lighting and flashing strobes, a cacophony of sight and sound awaited you. Multi-colored light flashed, laser lights sliced through the air like light sabers, fog machines created so much haze that you almost had to feel your way along the dance floor where a multitude of male bodies gyrated, bumped and grinded to the heavy beat of the dance music blasting from every angle. Sweat and glitter sparkling on the dancers' skin created a dizzying and mesmerizing effect.

     The décor was simple; it had an industrial look with almost everything being made of shiny black metal. Chimney-like columns were spaced at regular intervals around the room with flames spouting from them, not real flames, but amazingly realistic fire made from a light gauzy material lighted from below and blown up-wards by fans. Spiral staircases led to a wide metal grid catwalk that went around the whole room and looked down on the dance floor. Tiny pedestal-like tables sat near the walls, each with four stools bolted down around it.

     I was always in awe of this place; it was so foreign to anything I'd ever seen before. Everywhere I looked there were guys kissing, touching, dancing, and laughing. It was a euphoric feeling.

     
“Ready to dance?”
Micah yelled into my ear, the only way I could even possibly hear him over the din.

     
“Hell yeah!”
I responded with a shout.

     A few hours later, we slipped out the door into the fresh, cool air outside. The party was still going strong inside, but I was completely exhausted. Dancing is strenuous exercise and don't let anyone ever tell you different.

     “With all that heavy breathing you two could at least be naked,” Carmen commented lazily.

     “Don't you ever want to be inside?” I asked. I think it was the first thing I'd ever said to her besides hello.

     “In there? Are you kidding?” she said with a laugh, “Honey, I'm way too old for such foolishness. I'd throw out a hip or something. No, I'm content to just sit here and breathe in the ambiance of youth and beauty.”

     “Oh come on,” Micah scoffed, “We both know you could dance circles around most of those guys in there. You're healthy as a horse.”

     “And just as big,” she said as she produced a cigarette from her cleavage and lit up. “Now you boys run along, it must be past the baby's bedtime.”

     “Yes, mother,” I said with a grin and started for the car.

     “Sassy one, isn't he?” Carmen shot after us.

     Micah chuckled as he trotted to catch up to me. “Did you sneak one of my drinks again tonight?” he asked, referring to the first time he'd taken me to the Inferno and I'd been so nervous I'd fortified myself with his drink before hitting the dance floor. “I've never seen you so playful with Carmen.”

     “Nope, all I drank was the bottled water you got me. I just figured if she was going to dish it, she could take it. Hey, remember our first date when you promised me if I went out with you again you'd tell me who Carmen really was?”

     “I did?”

     “Yeah, you did.”

     “Well, I lied.”

     “No fair! You promised!”

     “You're the detective, you figure it out.”

     “I hate when people tell me that.”

* * *

     I was at the office again the next day, plugging away at the stack of paperwork that kept building up on my desk, when Judy swept in as only Judy could. Judy Davis is a slender, attractive woman with deceptively normal appearance. She was a far cry from the person I'd first met several years ago. She'd had long, brilliant red hair and favored a look that could be the most closely described a
Morticia
Adams chic. I'd found out later that the look had only been affected to intimidate her brother-in-law.