The Truth of Yesterday (10 page)

     “Still a baby,” she declared.

     “How old are you?”

     
“Twenty-one.”

     “And you?” I asked Noah.

     “Twenty.”

     I looked to Peter.

     “Twenty-one,” he supplied.

     “Nineteen,” Everett volunteered.

     “Twenty,” Tony called from the floor, where he was now doing some sort of stretching exercise.

     “Oh, I guess I am the baby of the group then,” I conceded.

     “Just of us here now,” Peter amended. “I doubt you're the youngest in the whole group and I know there are other eighteen year olds.”

     “Besides,”
Everett
said, “You're probably more mature than most of us anyway.”

     “Speak for
yourself
,” Val shot back quickly.

     “I have a question,” I said, “How many of the people that attend the meetings are
gay?
”

     “Most of us,” Noah said. “There are maybe three or four straight girls; everybody else is at least
bi
.”

     “Most straight people are afraid to come because they think their friends are going to think they are gay too,” Peter explained.

     “And we all know how horrible that would be,” Val added sarcastically.

     “But that's one of the things we're trying to do,” Noah went on. “We're trying to change the way people look at being gay, so it's not such a negative thing.”

     “It's slow progress,” Val said.

     “But at least
it's
progress,”
Everett
pointed out. “Almost everybody knows I'm gay and the vast majority just don't give a shit.”

     “That's because you're a big
ol
' white boy,” Tony said, unwinding his body from the pretzel in which he'd twisted himself. “They're afraid you'll bash their skulls in if they say anything.”
Everett
opened his mouth to protest but Tony wasn't finished. “Not that you would, and I'm not saying that everybody has a problem with it secretly, but there is definitely still a lot of prejudice and bigotry on this campus.
Try being gay
and
black.
That's two strikes against you. And it was even worse back home. In the black community, the women don't have any problem with somebody being gay, but the brothers? Damn. You just might as well be in the Klan.”

     “The Latino community is probably even worse,” Val said. “I grew up in a mostly Puerto Rican neighborhood in
Baltimore
and I've seen lots of guys get the shit beat out of them just
cuz
they weren't macho enough. They get called names like faggot and cocksucker and most of the time they aren't even gay. Just think how the poor guys who really are gay feel. They gotta hide it or get out of there. I never let anyone know I liked girls until I got to college, not even my best friend. I dated guys all through school and just pretended I didn't put out
cuz
I was a really good little Catholic girl.” She shrugged. “I'm probably going to hell now. Think I should go to confession?”

     “Nah, you're too far gone for help now,” Peter teased.

     “What about you?” Val asked him. “You had any problems with people knowing you are gay?”

     “Outside of my family you mean? Not really. I'm not remarkable enough to draw much attention. No one cares which way I swing.”

     “Oh stop with the pity party,” she snapped, “What problems did you have with your family?”

     “Just the usual; Mom flipped out, Dad disowned me, my brother acts like I'm dying of AIDS.”

     “That's the usual?” Noah asked. “Then I'm glad I'm unusual. My parents were a little shaken at first, but they educated themselves and they're ok with it now. Or, if not ok, then at least they're trying.”

     “Then you're one of the lucky ones,” Peter said. “My parents are better now, though; they've had a few years to deal with it, but it was ugly at first.”

     “My
mom still don't
know,” Tony said.

     “My dad doesn't but I think my mom knows,” Val said. “At least she's stopped asking me if I'm dating any nice boys at college.”

     “I'm another one of the lucky ones, I guess,”
Everett
said. “My whole family had no problem with it at all, but then, we're a pretty liberal bunch and they've assumed I was gay since I was a little kid. What about you, Killian?”

     
“My family?
Well, my real dad freaked out, beat me up, and kicked me out of the house. This was right after a gay friend of mine was murdered and I was stabbed at the same time.” I almost laughed at the stunned expressions on everyone's faces. “The dad of the murdered kid took me in and I've lived with him and his partner ever since. My mom ended up divorcing my dad and moving to
Pennsylvania
. I stayed with Adam and Steve.”

     “Wow,” Noah said when I was done.

     “Yeah,” Val agreed, “I think you win the hard knock life award.”

     “Hands down,” Tony seconded, and Peter and Everett nodded.

     “I didn't know it was a competition,” I said, wondering what they'd say if they knew the rest of the details.

     “You're right, it's not,” Noah said.

     “Hey, it's getting late and I still have work to do,” Peter said.

     “Me too,”
Everett
sighed. “I was just putting it off as long as possible.”

     “Procrastinator,” Val said as everyone stood up and started gathering whatever things they had brought.

     “You know it. So, Killian, we'll see next week?”  
Everett
asked.

     “I think so,” I said.
“As long as nothing else comes up at work.”

     “Where do you work?” Noah asked.

     “Uh, well, actually I'm a private investigator,” I said hesitantly. This time I had to laugh at the way everyone froze in place and turned to look at me in shock.

     
“For real?”
Tony said.

     
“Yeah, for real.”

     “Whoa. You're just full of surprises, aren't you?”
Everett
said.

     “Well, we hope to see you next week, Mr. Detective-boy,” Val said.

     Everyone quickly went off in different directions, leaving me alone once again with Noah.

     “Walk you to your car?” he asked.

     I shrugged.
“If you want.”

     “I do.”

     We walked out of the building and to my car while making small talk. Once we were at my car, Noah seemed to have something he wanted to say.

     “Spit it out,” I said.

     “Huh?”

     “Whatever it is you want to say.”

     “Oh. Am I that obvious?”

     
“Yup.”

     He took a deep breath. “So, uh, how seriously are you dating this guy? Do you see other people?”

     “No, we're seeing each other exclusively,” I said gently. I felt bad shooting him down, but he seemed to expect my response.

     “And I can tell you're not the type to fool around, so let me just say that if anything ever happens and you break up with him, give me a call, ok?
In the meantime, friends?”
He held out his hand.

     I smiled. “Friends,” I said taking his hand and shaking it.

     He held on a little longer than necessary,
then
slowly backed away a few steps before turning and jogging away. I watched him go before climbing into my car.
If I wasn't with Micah I'd be all over you like white on rice,
I thought as I drove away. And it was very good for Micah that I wasn't the type to fool around, because I was actually finding myself sore tempted with Noah.  

Chapter 5

     When I got home, the first thing I noticed as I pulled into the driveway was that Micah's car was still there. Had he ever left? When I'd left he'd been heading for the bathroom and he'd told me to go ahead, he'd let himself out. If he'd been here the whole time I'd been gone, a peek at my watch told me it had been almost three hours, what did that mean? I jumped out of my car with a nervous flutter in my stomach, took the three steps up to the porch level with one leap, and let myself in.

     I found Micah in the living room with Steve. They looked up when I appeared in the door and smiled. Good, at least they didn't seem surprised or uncomfortable to find me standing there, like I imagined they would have if they'd been talking about me.

     “We were just talking about you,” Steve said.

     Oh. “Is that good or bad?” I asked carefully.

     “Mostly good,” Micah said with a grin and a wink.

     I went the rest of the way into the room and Micah patted a spot next to him on the sofa. I settled into the spot and looked from him to Steve.

     “Were you here the whole time?” I asked Micah.

     “Yeah,” he said. “I stuck my head in to say bye to Steve and we just got talking; you know what they say about time flying when you're having fun.”

     “So, what all did you talk about?”

     “You want him to recap three hours of conversation?” Steve asked in a teasing voice.

     I shrugged. I had a feeling everything wasn't be said.

     “Well, the readers digest version is that I've decided to go with you to DC,” Micah said.