The Truth in Lies (The Truth in Lies Saga) (2 page)

A soft gust of wind blew in off the gulf coast, cooling my ruddy face.  Covered in sweat from my vigorous run, my skin prickled at the touch of the frigid air.  The morning sun was starting to wake up, shining its illustrious hues of orange, yellow, and blue across the water’s edge, setting the gulf on fire.

White sand clumped under my hands, sticking to my skin, as the water washed up on the shore, inching closer to the toes of my running shoes.  Siesta Key Beach was always peaceful during the early morning hours, speckled with avid runners making their way down the beach, as well as the occasional couple looking to make a fantasy into a reality.  Countless times, I wanted to tell them to rethink that idea.  While having sex on the beach may look pretty in the movies, in real life, it’s dirty, gritty, and terribly uncomfortable.

Alone on the beach, I found solace, peace, and freedom.  No one was there to watch over me.  No one was monitoring my every move.  The loneliness seemingly evaporated as long as I remained on the quiet shore.  It was as if the water was an understanding friend.  It never spoke back.  It only listened. 

Water rushed toward the shore, spraying my face. It seemed as if the ocean wanted to warn me of the invading runner who was approaching me.  I blinked; the water burned my eyes with each flutter of my lids.   To appease the burn, I rubbed the water away with the back of my hand.  Bright spots from the sunlight appeared behind my closed eyes. 

As I regained my vision, I glanced up to see the intruding runner pass by me.  He was tall and lanky, as most runners are; yet, there was something different about this man. 

My eyes were glued to him.  He had a fluid stride.  His body was straight, and his fists were clenched.  There was a certainty in his gait, almost to the point of arrogance.  Adorned in typical runner’s garb of a fitted blue nylon pullover and black running shorts, he looked almost as if he were posing for a magazine.  His light brown hair, damp with sweat, was pushed back behind the bill of a yellow sun visor, and his eyes were covered by a pair of reflective sunglasses. 

As he approached me, my whole body jolted to life, as if it were on fire.  My pulse quickened and my heart began to pound against my chest.  He tilted his head slightly to the side, taking notice of me. 

Every hair on my body stood on end.  I cupped my hand over my eyes to get a better look at him, without the blaring sun interrupting my view.  Slowing his pace to a jog, he lowered his sunglasses, revealing the most intense blue eyes I had ever seen.  His lips twitched into a lazy grin, driving his dimples deep into the recesses of his cheeks.  I swallowed hard, my whole body reacting to this man.

Jesus, I need to get laid
, I mentally chided myself.

But it was more than that.  It was beyond wanting to have my way with him that sent the rapid blaze of desire throughout my body.  With a nod of his head, he acknowledged my existence.  My he
art skipped a beat.  Then, to make things worse, he produced a sexy, breath-taking grin.  For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. 

Silly school girl, meet McKenzie Evans.

I wiggled my fingers in response, praying the sun blinded him enough to hide my enflamed cheeks.  He winked at me, then pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and continued down the beach.  My eyes were glued to the back of this gorgeous specimen of a man, lost in his fluid motion, and the curve of his calves and thighs as they flexed with each footfall.  He turned his head, looking back at me over his shoulder.   His lips pursed, teasing me.  That’s when I realized I had been busted staring at his butt.

Gasping, I covered my face and started kicking my feet.  He laughed, sending more waves of excitement through me.  It was imperative that I regained some semblance of normalcy, so I flippantly waved him off.  His laughter continued to fill the air until he disappeared from sight.

The moment he was gone, my body resumed back to normal.  I shook my head, laughing at myself for acting so silly over some strange man on the beach, especially since I had a boyfriend.  Not that it mattered.  Nate did it all the time with the receptionist at the doctor’s offices he visited.  A little flirting goes a long way, he once told me. 

But I trusted that he remained faithful to me, even if he spent all those nights on the road.  He knew how I felt about cheating.  I’d told him countless times that if he felt the urge to be with someone else, that was the indicator that he didn’t want to be with me, and he needed to break things off with me.

As for Olivia, she believed Nate had been screwing around on me from the beginning.  In her mind that was his reason for never staying home.  I couldn’t allow myself to believe he would do that to me.  Not after everything we’d been through.

Sitting up straight, I pulled my legs to my chest.  A deep sigh expelled from my lungs, as the thought occurred to me that a few months prior, I wouldn’t have been able to fold my body together in this manner.

Three months had passed since I lost my son.  Three lonely, miserable months I’d been left alone in agony over the child I was never meant to hold.  Nate and I never got the chance to celebrate the discovery of our child’s sex together.  The day Nate returned home from his business trip was the very same day I miscarried Evan. 

For the first couple of weeks after my miscarriage, Nate was very attentive.  I felt lucky to have him home with me.  It had been a long time since I felt like we were a true couple, and for the first time in a long time, I had the man I fell in love with back.  But as the weeks passed, things started to return to normal. 

Nate acted like a caged animal, plotting his escape.  I, on the other hand, withdrew deep inside myself.  He wanted everything to return as it was before I became pregnant, which was the last thing I wanted.  Living with Nate, prior to my pregnancy, was like living with a roommate who happened to share the same bed.  Of course, that was only when he was at home, which wasn’t often.  While it wasn’t required of him to travel out of state for his job, he did it to obtain better revenue and earn higher profits. 

With him at home, a
rguments ensued between us.  He rarely touched me.  Even when the doctor gave me the okay to have sex again, he avoided physical contact.  Instead, he grew cold and distant, until finally, I told him to go do what he wanted to do.  In a matter of days, he was gone.  Sure, he returned home every week or so, but that didn’t matter.  The simple fact that he loved the road more than me was more than I could bear.

Instead of breaking up with him, I stuck it out, convincing myself that things would get better.  The man I fell in love with had to still be in there, and he would come back to me, someday. 

Days went by, then weeks passed, and Nate became more and more estranged.  He would call me every night from the road, but our conversations always ended with us fighting.  Depression became a natural part of my existence, and I relished in it.  I rarely left the house, unless it was to go to work or the beach.  I avoided my friends, and endured my mother’s calls only because I had to. 

The flaming orb of the sun now set high above the gulf.  Periodically, a jet ski would fly over the water’s edge.  How long I had been sitting on the shore, I wasn’t sure, nor did I care.  For it was there that all my troubles faded away.

A loud ringing invaded my solitude, along with the rumbling buzz of the phone in the pocket of my shorts.  I groaned, arching my back as I dug my hand into my pocket.  Removing my phone from my shorts, I gazed at it.  The sun formed a horrible glare over the plastic screen, forcing me to hold it up in front of my face to see who was calling.  The display screen noted that my mother was the intruder of my sanctuary.

“Just what I need,” I muttered, sliding my finger over the hard surface of my smart phone.  “Hello?”

“It’s about time, McKenzie Paige Evans.  I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.  Where have you been?” Mom scolded me, her tone full of anxious energy.

The sound of my mother’s voice made me chuckle.  My mind associated her timbre with Molly Weasely’s voice from the second Harry Potter movie, when she scolded Fred, George, and Ron for disappearing to rescue Harry from the Dursley’s.

“Sorry, Momma.  After Nate called last night, I was spent, so I went straight to bed.”

My mother released a heavy sigh, blowing a puff of air through the phone, making a horrible racket.  “I take it you two fought again?”

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees while holding the phone to my ear with one hand.

“Yeah.  It’s always the same.  I ask when he’s coming home, and he rips me a new one.”

“How long has he been gone?”

“Three weeks.  He was due back last weekend, but his trip got extended.”

“I see.” 

My eyes rolled back
, forcing my eyelashes to flutter.  This was the reason why I avoided my mother.  She may not say it, but I knew she was disappointed in me. 

“It’s okay, really.  Be proud of me.  I finally did what you asked, and took down Evan’s room.”

The sudden pain in my chest caused me to flinch.  Nate and I had spent countless hours putting together the baby’s room for his arrival.  For weeks after his death, I refused to allow anyone in there.  Nate allowed me the comfort of leaving Evan’s room unscathed.  However, over time it became the source of one of our arguments. 

Nate felt that leaving the room up after the miscarriage was unhealthy.  I accused him of trying to destroy the only thing I had left of Evan.  It crushed me when I discovered that everyone I loved, including my parents, agreed with Nate. 

“That’s good, sweetheart.  I’m proud of you,” she said, followed by a short pause.  “Um, did you go see that doctor I told you about?”

A seagull swept down into the gulf, thrusting its beak into the water.  I envied that bird for a moment.  It was free to go wherever and do whatever it pleased.  It didn’t have to answer to anyone or anything.

“Mom, I’m not driving two hours to Orlando to see a doctor.  I’m fine.”

My mother had been hounding me for weeks to see a shrink.  Of course, I refused. 

“But Jennifer says he’s the best in Florida,” she argued.

“How would Jennifer know, Mom?  She doesn’t live here.”

Jennifer Conrad was a busy-body, know-it-all housewife, whose husband was a psychiatrist in Amarillo, Texas, where I grew up.  For years the Conrad family lived next door to us, thus making my mother and Jennifer the best of friends.  But as Lawrence’s practice began to grow, so did his ego, and living in our little community was no longer suitable for the Conrad family.  So during my freshman year of high school, the Conrad’s moved to Lake Tanglewood.  That, however, didn’t stop Mom and Jennifer from remaining friends.

“Lawrence has connections all over the country, Mickie.  I really think you should give Dr. Kelser a try.  He might be able to help you put this whole thing with Evan and Nate into perspective.”

“Forget it, Mom.  I don’t need some shrink telling me that I’m fucked up in the head.  I know that already,” I shot back. 

Instan
tly, I felt guilty for being snotty with my mother.  She didn’t understand that I had no intentions of sharing my soul with anyone.  This was my burden to bear, and I would do so alone.

“I just think it might help if you talked to someone.  That’s all.”

“I know.  I’m sorry for snapping at you.  If I feel like I’m getting worse, I promise I’ll make an appointment.  Okay?”

“Okay, sweetheart.” 

I tilted my head back, staring up at white clouds streaming over the big, blue sky.  This was why I loved Florida.  It was only January, yet it was still warm and sunny. Perfect for a day at the beach, and I was all too grateful for being there while having this conversation with my mother.

A long pause ensued, only to be broken by my mother.  “You know, your dad and I have been meaning to take some time off from the shop.  We missed seeing y
ou at Christmas and thought maybe we could come out there to visit you for a week or so.  What do you think?”

It wasn’t that I didn’t love my parents, because I did.  They were the two greatest people on the planet, in my opinion, but they were also the two people I didn’t want to see me when I felt like the end of the world was nigh.  I couldn’t disappoint them anymore than I already had.  They had given up so much for me while growing up, that
now I only wanted to make them proud.  Wallowing in my own self-pity wasn’t what I would call a proud moment in my life.

There was no wa
y I could break her heart; so, I came up with the quickest excuse I could muster.

“That’d be wonderful.  Why don’t you plan on coming during spring break when I can take the week off with you?  I’d hate for you to come all the way out here and me have to work.”

“I guess you’re right.  That does sound like a good idea,” she conceded.  “I miss you, baby girl.”

“I miss you too, Momma.  Tell Dad I said hi and I love him.”

“I will.”

“Well, I have to go.  I’ve been sitting on the beach this whole time talkin’ to you,” I stated.

“Okay.  I’ll chat at ya later then.  Take care.  I love you.”

“I love you too.  Ba-bye.”

“Ba-bye,” she replied and disconnected the call.