Authors: James Seloover
“
The irony of it all is,” the repairman said, “Big Richards will fork over the three-hundred for the shopping cart damage on your car plus the rental car fee of one-fifty-five. The kicker, sweetheart, if the repair on that rental doesn’t top a grand, I’ll bet it’ll be damn close. That’s no key damage, too deep,” he said, looking at the scratch closely. “It looks more like someone deliberately took a wicked church key to it.”
“
I can’t imagine, for the life of me, anyone being so sick as to do something as horrible as that,” Ann said. “Unless they had something against Big Richards.”
Mr. Hedd, I hope you don
’t think you are dealing with people who have the IQ of a geoduck. It may be in your best interest to alter your view of those people who you think are working for you but are actually looking out for number one. You will have a bit more than you can handle if they decide not to be your friend. Be especially kind the employees who have a church key on their key ring or a pencil in their smock.
Ann
became distracted making a submarine sandwich by what she saw and squirted a dollop of Mayo, missing the bun and dripping down the front of her smock.
Oooooh, my goodness, Gorgeous, my parking space thief.
She looked at the redheaded man next to Ms. Becky, then at the errant mayo and gave a solitary burst of laughter.
“
Ann, I’d like you to meet Mr. Forest.” Ms. Becky had a new management trainee in her clutches and was leading him around the store, introducing him to the employees.
“
Pleased to meet you,” Ann said, pulling off her plastic gloves and extending her hand.
“
It’s my pleasure. Call me Jake. You do realize you have some mayo on your smock, don’t you?” Jake gestured toward her smock and pulled out a small pad and searched for a pen.
She looked down and giggled and hurriedly wiped the mayo away.
“You wouldn’t happen to have a pen, would you Ann? I’m believe I am about to meet many more people than I can possibly remember. I think I’d better take notes.”
“
Ann, you are aware that management is referred to as Mr. So and So,” Ms. Becky said as much for Jake as for Ann’s benefit.
Ann quickly reached into her smock pocket and pulled out a pencil and handed it to Jake.
He started to make a note and then looked at the pencil. “I’m afraid this won’t do. I think it’s seen better days.” Jake held up the pencil with the mangled end. “Looks like a goat chewed off the business end.”
She snatched the broken pencil from Jake
’s hand and produced another. “I’m sorry, I haven’t had a chance to sharpen it. Try this one.”
Jake looked at Ann, held up the new pencil to her and gave her a wink, bent close, and said,
“They don’t make pencils like they used to.”
“
No, they do not,” Ann said, and gave a smile.
Before Ann had a chance to speak further, Ms. Becky bent forward.
“Ann, you know the policy on modest dress.” Ms. Becky touched the top button on her own blouse and raised her eyebrows.
Soon, Mr. Forest
’s elbow was securely clamped in Ms. Becky’s claws and was being led quickly off to another department. To Ann, Ms. Becky, whose only redeeming attribute were enormous knockers, one of which now warming Jake’s forearm, fancied herself a catch. Word on the street was that Ms. Becky’s home life was not all that satisfying. Linda had confided to her that Ms. Becky’s husband, and possibly she, occasionally strayed. It was sad to see her struggling to find some happiness that had left her in the dust.
“
I think it’s sadder still,” Linda said as they prepared a supply of submarines, “because those who watch can see Ms. Becky obviously perceives a much younger woman in the mirror than the one reflected back. It’s sad to watch her try to snare men half her age.”
“
Actually, she’s not bad if she’d act her age and cut the volume on the make-up,” Ann said. “I can hear her coming three aisles away.”
“
Well, there is also the matter of that creature living on her head,” Linda said. They both had a good giggled over that.
Ann dutifully buttoned her smock and as she looked up from staring at Mr. Forest
’s hind-end, she felt her cheeks redden when he turned and caught her in the act. Ann straightened her shoulders, popping her buttons back open and gave him another one of her winks.
You’ll do just fine, Mr. Call Me Jake. You’re a dream.
With his elbow firmly in the grip of Ms. Becky
’s polished, purple talons, he glided past the danger that was Ann and near an equal danger that was Linda.
“
Linda, I’d like to introduce our new Assistant Manager Trainee, Mr. Jake Forest,” Ms. Becky said.
Linda glanced at Ann, then back up to Jake
’s blue eyes. “I’m
very
pleased to meet you, Mr. Forest.” She caught several wayward strands of shiny black hair and flawlessly flipped them behind her left ear. “If you ever need
anything
, please let me know.” She put a slim, perfectly manicured hand out to him.
“
Call me Jak—, sorry, can’t say that … Mr. Forest, Linda.”
Ann watched as Linda fixed her large brown eyes on Jake
’s and he gently squeezed her delicate hand and lingered until Ann saw his eyebrows contort. Purple talons apparently tightened on his elbow and he released Linda’s hand.
Jake glanced back at Ann, then at Linda and made a note on his pad as Ms. Becky herded him away from what she obviously considered was some pretty stiff competition.
Ann and Linda sat at a table a few rows from the dance floor, both with their customary screwdriver. White Shutters was a popular hangout for the twenty-somethings and had a live band on the weekends. The action rarely picked up until after the start of the second set around ten.
“
Let’s take a little walk,” Linda said as she put her hand on Ann’s forearm and gave it a squeeze. Take your purse, but leave your scarf over the back of the chair. We don’t want to lose the table.”
“
Good idea, Ann said and picked up her Marlboros from the table and tucked them in her purse. They each took a napkin and placed it over their drink and tilted their chairs into the table, the universal symbol for “Occupied table, Will return.” Donning their jackets, Linda led the way, coursing her way through the crowded lounge and headed toward the exit with Ann on her heels.
“
We’ll be back in a sec,” she told the bouncer.
“
I’ll have to stamp your hand if you want back in,” he said and reached for Linda’s hand.”
“
Not on the back,” she said, and turned her palm up. She and Ann did not like the black ink discoloring their hand; it was not attractive.
Linda had driven her car and parked in a dimly lit area of the parking lot. Ann got in on the passenger side. With a quick look-see around the car, Linda reached under the driver
’s seat and pulled out a small baggie, a joint, a roach clip, and a book of matches. She handed the joint and matches to Ann. “Be my guest, Hon.”
Ann ran the joint beneath her nose, like one sees old men doing with a fine cigar.
“Hmmmm, nice,” Ann said and pulled a match from the book and struck the match. A flame shot up from the twisted paper and she pulled the joint away till the flame died then took a pleasant hit, palming the joint back to Linda. “That’s pretty fuckin’ fine stuff, Honey.”
Linda held the joint low in her lap and glanced around the car. Satisfied there wasn
’t anybody near, she took a toke and held her breath as she cracked the window a bit and passed it back to Ann. “This is some potent Hawaiian pot, Hon,” Linda said. “You won’t need much. Maybe one or two hits.”
“
Suits me,” Ann said, “I can feel it already.” She took one last turn and gave the joint to Linda who took a final puff and snuffed the roach. She put it back into the baggie along with the matches and clip and concealed it under the seat.
When the bouncer checked their stamps, Ann tripped over Linda
’s heel and they both started to giggle, holding each other’s arms as they wove their way back to the table. Their drinks were still covered with napkins, unmolested.
“
I am going to use the little girl’s room,” Ann said and she got up. Linda got up and followed her past the bar to the hallway.
“
Hey, aren’t you the Big Richards’ gals?” There were several men at the bar and Ann looked over into the face of Cowboy Jesse.
“
Oh, hi, Mr. Seahawk,” Ann said.
Linda gave Jesse a smile and continued to the ladies room.
“Right as Seattle rain,” he said.
“
Or did you give up on the Seahawks? I see you have your Cowboy hat on.”
“
Awh, you can’t count on them. I think they’re a bit too inexperienced yet. I guess I’m a cowboy tonight,” Jesse said. “I don’t believe I know your name.”
“
My name is Ann,” she said, extending a hand.
“
Pleased to meet you, Ann. I’m Jesse Martin. Can I buy you a drink?”
“
Well, you can in a minute? I have to see a woman about a kitty. I’ll be back in a flash.”
Ann caught Jesse
’s eye as the two emerge from the restroom. Linda led the way and paused long enough for Ann to introduce her to Jesse then strolled to the table.
“
Are you ready for that drink now?”
“
I have a drink at the table, but you’re welcome to join us if you like.” Ann motioned toward where Linda was seated.
“
Sure, why not,” Jesse said and slid from the barstool and followed her.
“
Cowboy Jesse is going to join us,” Ann said to Linda who was chair dancing to the tune on the jukebox.
The band returned, cut power to the jukebox in mid-tune, and began playing rock-and-roll, a Buddy Holly tune. Jesse put out his hand to Ann. They walked to the dance floor and did a swing dance. When they returned, Dwight was sitting beside Linda at the table.
“Hi Dwight. Jesse, this is Dwight. He works at Big Richards too.” Ann said as Dwight stood and the men nodded and shook hands, both saying, “Glad to meet you,” simultaneously.
When the band was ready for its second break, Ann leaned into Jesse and whispered,
“Do cowboys smoke pot?”
“
I think a few have been known to partake,” he said.
Ann looked across the table at Linda and gave her a wink and a nod.
“Come with us,” Linda said and she and Ann went through the ritual of fixing their drinks with the napkin and tilting their chairs against the table.
Ann and Jesse piled into the back seat of the Audi and Linda and Dwight sat in front.
“This is some powerful shit, so don’t over-do it,” Linda said and lit the joint, passed it to Dwight, who took a hit and in turn passed it to Ann, then she to Jesse, and back to Linda. It was getting a bit small for her fingers so she took the roach clip from the baggie and clipped it on the roach. The little pow-wow continued untill nothing but a bit of paper existed and it was Linda who took a nose hit from that.
The four were all laughing as they entered the White Shutters and found their table.
By the time the band played the last tune, they had all danced to most of the songs.
“
Jesse is going to give me a ride home,” Ann said, leaning close to Linda’s ear.
“
He sure is a cutie,” she whispered back.
“
Anybody hungry? We’re going to stop at Dennys for some breakfast,” Linda said.
“
I don’t know about you, Ann, but, for some reason, I’ve got the munchies all of a sudden,” Jesse said.
“
I wonder why that is?” Linda said.
Everyone rose, grabbed their jackets and threaded their way through the crowded room and walked into the drizzle of the Seattle night. Ann latched onto Jesse
’s arm and he led her to his pick-up. Linda and Dwight walked together. Everyone headed to Dennys in the small town of White Center, Linda in her Audi, and Dwight in his Mustang. Ann made herself comfortable sliding to the center of the seat in Jesse’s green Ford pick-up.
Jesse turned on the radio and they listened as they took the lead to Dennys.
“How is the new TV?” Ann asked.
“
What new TV?”
“
I distinctly remember chasing a receipt across the Big Richards’ parking lot one rainy night.” Ann said. “That TV. The one that was in the back of your truck.”
“
Oh, shit.” Jesse put his hand to his mouth, stole a quick look at her, then back at the road. “That TV. I must be losin’ it. Got to be the pot. The TV’s good. Perfect, as a matter of fact.”
Ann, looked at him, catching his quick glance and back at the freeway ahead, wondering if she should tell him that she knew what his game was and decided to hold her tongue about his little refund scheme. She sat quietly, forming her opinion as to whether she could trust Jesse when it came to personal matters. She wasn
’t against his crusade to get back at
The Man
, but she was a bit concerned when it involved his character and how it would affect any relationship that could develop between them. She decided to withhold judgment for a while.