Authors: James Seloover
“
Where did you learn all this stuff, Lindy?” Ann asked.
“
OJT, dearie. OJT. Okay, now listen, be sure not to pressure them, if they want a receipt, give it to them. There’s plenty of rubes stumbling in every hour.” Linda was a watcher of people and could read them like a children’s menu.
It didn
’t take Ann and Linda long to become fast friends and confidantes and, for a time, had considered rooming together. Their respective apartment leases didn’t coincide so they hadn’t made the move in with each other. But, they lived near each other and sometimes rode the same bus to work when they didn’t feel like driving and fighting the traffic. They sometimes double-dated and often, if they didn’t have a date, hung together.
Neither had the resources for college nor the inclination to attend. So, like many of the people their age, ended up in the low-end jobs that kept the city
’s middle class serviced. Linda was a year older than Ann and had worked at Big Richards for a year and several months longer. She had learned very early on that a buck and a quarter did not buy diddly and smelling like the vat of artificial butter-flavored oil poured over the popcorn and the three kinds of luncheon meat, lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, mustard, and onions, that made up the sub sandwiches was not the aroma of success. That combination of odors kept most of the supervisors far from her work area. A little ingenuity and negligible risk was all that was needed for a girl to get ahead and it did not take the streetwise Linda long to see the weaknesses in the store operation.
“
What if I get caught?” Ann was reluctant to participate at first.
“
Before you start worrying about getting caught, you should think about what Ol’ Big Dick is doing to you,” Linda said.
“
What do you mean? What is Big Richard doing to me?” Ann looked at her. “He’s not doing anything to me.”
“
Well, actually, you’re right, he isn’t. Linda said and held up one finger. “He isn’t paying you shit.” Two fingers. “He isn’t giving you overtime on Sundays anymore.” Three fingers. “Every time we turn around, he is taking away another benefit.” Four fingers, “You have to work here two years to qualify for two weeks’ vacation. It used to be one year. Yep, you’re right, he’s certainly not doing anything to you, and he is doing more of less all the time. Oh yeah, I almost forgot.” Linda put up a fifth finger. “ You now have to buy your own smock, for gosh sake. So, dearie, on second thought Big Dick is giving ‘it’ to you, just not the good ‘it’ we’d prefer.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’ve been sorta thinking the same thing.”
“So what, girl,” Linda continued, “you get caught, what are you out? A job? Are you kidding me! Heck, jobs are a nickel for six, Honey. I’ve been getting tips,” she gestured air quotation marks, “for over a year and have nearly two thousand to show for it. Think of what if you
don’t
get caught, that’s what you want to think about. Just be careful and don’t get greedy and you’ll be alright, Honey.”
“
Nice to see you again Sugar, would you like your regular?” Ann said to the old man who limped in about three times a week to buy the two-fer sub sandwich special announced over the store speaker system. “I really appreciate that you always bring me the right change, Sweetheart.” She gave the old man a wink. “You make my life a dream.”
From that day on, the old man made an extra effort to please Ann by having the correct change. She had seen him ask for change at the service desk just to please her.
“Thank you so much, Sweetheart. Your wife better keep a close eye on you, I might just take you home with me.” She sealed the deal with a squeeze on his hand when she took his cash. She leaned in and whispered, “Need your receipt?”
The customer turned and saw his wife approaching.
“Nah, I don’t think so; I’ll just toss it.
“
Thanks Honey, I’ll see you in a day or two.” She waited a few seconds until the man’s wife came up and he turned his attention to her before she placed the cash on the top of the register shelf above the drawer. She turned to walk away from the register so the man would not notice that she had not rung up his purchase.
“
Ann, learn to recognize the customers who are in a hurry or those with brats, or the annoyed, self-absorbed women who treat retail clerks like their personal servants,” Linda said. “You know, rude bitches, the women who push clerks to the bottom rung. They never engage you in a civil conversation. Those bitches rarely waited for their receipt and most are leery of clerks. They suspect they may be cheated so they pay for their purchases with exact change. It was just a matter of distracting them long enough for them to lose patience and walk away without a receipt. Then it was just a matter of not ringing the sale up so there’s no record of the transaction. Be extremely careful. If there is a supervisor within ten yards of you, don’t risk it, ring the sale.”
With Linda, it was fine art. She had watched Ann for several weeks before she took her into her confidence. Since they worked opposite shifts, the Deli sales had to appear relatively constant. It wouldn
’t do for Ann to have significantly higher sales than Linda. It was good for them both. Not so much for
The Man
.
“
Fuck-em,” Linda had said when she finally got around to approaching Ann. “The manager is pulling in thirty, forty-thousand a year. We get a buck and a quarter and when they give out raises, they make a nickel or dime sound like you’re getting a ten hour lay. If I want to get laid, I’ll get some cowboy at the White Shutters to bump fuzzies with me.”
“
Did you see that jerk-off Hedd’s face when I gave him that big smile when he handed me that gift certificate,” Ann said. “I thought he’d come in his boxers. I flushed the worthless scrap of paper down the can.”
The Deli counter was a perfect place for a skimming operation. It would not work at the front registers where supervisors hovered about. Moreover, it would not work in the high-end merchandise departments such as Appliances, where people most certainly demand a receipt. It was a lot easier to keep track of a TV than a perishable submarine sandwich. Old sandwiches had to be tossed at the end of the day. Who
’s to say if it was sold or tossed?
Ann was authorized to run promotions on her sandwiches, popcorn, and frozen drinks to draw customers and increase sales. She would purposely set special prices to be close to exact dollar amounts so it would be likely customers would pay with the exact change, or, if it totaled an odd amount, she
’d say she would take care of the tax from the slush cup near the register.
Twice, Ann had turned down promotions. Once to the Appliance department and the second to Jewelry.
On the second occasion, she sat erect in the straight back chair across from Mr. Hedd in the manager’s office averting her eyes as she listened quietly to his offer of promotion. On two occasions, she noticed he had looked directly at her breasts. She had purposely left her top two buttons on her tight sweater undone. When he had finished, she smiled.
“
I just love working with my customers,” she said of the old men and bitchy women who treated her like a day laborer. “I would feel as if I were deserting them. Thank you so much for the offer, but I’d much rather build the business in the Deli department,” and put her hand out to shake his. “I’m so embarrassed. Being in the Deli is almost like home to me.”
“
For heaven’s sake, don’t be embarrassed. It is so difficult to get good quality, dedicated employees such as yourself. I only wish we had more employees like you and Linda,” Mr. Hedd said. “Your efforts along with those of Linda have caused the sales in the Deli department to soar. I can’t tell you how much we at Big Richards appreciate your contributions to the store’s profits. I almost regret promoting Linda to the Jewelry Department.” Mr. Hedd rose to put out his hand in congratulating her on her decision to remain in the deli department. “Ann, stop by the personnel office and pick up a new smock. There is an ink stain on your pocket. I’ll tell Mrs. Brinks to let you have an extra one at no charge.”
Ann got up to leave and when her back was turned, she couldn
’t resist the urge to roll her eyes.
When Ann sat at her kitchen table and looked at the small spiral notebook where she kept tally of her take, she was mildly surprised. She had skimmed nearly five-hundred dollars from the store since joining Linda
’s skimming operation.
She had been awarded employee of the month for August, the second time, for making the Deli department number one in sales in the entire district. That didn
’t do anything for her income, Mr. Hedd never gave merit raises. The increased Deli sales meant extra “tips” she could sock away. She had finally been able to put a down payment on a used, robin-egg blue, VW Super Beetle.
Linda had been awarded Employee of the Month twice that year also before she had moved to Jewelry. She took home nearly an identical
as Ann. She had since been working on a scheme to reap some extra benefits from the Jewelry department.
“
This calls for a celebration,” Ann said to Linda at the end of the shift as they walked out the doors of Big Richards.
“
That sounds super,” Linda said and they headed over to the Triangle Tavern.
When Ann drove her new VW to her favorite parking space at the far edge of the parking lot she saw that there was a gold colored beater Bug with black primer spots on it already taking up the space.
She watched as a tall red headed guy got out of the VW and walk toward the store.
Well
,
Gorgeous. Who the hell are you?
She had parked in the same spot in the employee area for quite some time since that shopping cart dented the driver
’s side door just after she had purchased her car. She was not pleased by the audacity of someone else taking her spot, gorgeous or not. Although Big Richards was not unionized, there was such a thing as implied seniority and that rule was fundamentally being ignored. She particularly liked the spot because it was near a light pole and the blacktop sloped away on both sides of the spot. Run-away shopping carts tended to roll away from her car instead of toward it. Her car had been dinged on several occasions in the past until she found the gold standard of spots and claimed it as her own.
She had approached Mr. Hedd about the damage done to her car by a rogue cart that she witnessed careening down the slope of the parking lot coming to rest against her car. It caused a severe dent in the driver
’s side door of her almost-new VW. It was that incident that caused her to look for a better place to park. The cart incident happened just after closing time and she scurried back to the store to talk to Mr. Hedd. She caught him as he was locking the front door.
“
I’m sorry, Ann,” Mr. Hedd said, cutting her short after she began giving an explanation of her plight. “As much as it pains me to say it, Big Richards is not responsible for damage to an employee’s vehicle. You take implicit responsibility for any damage when you sign on as an employee. It is one of the hazards of working here. Now, if you were a customer … that, my dear, would be an entirely different story. Big Richards would be happy to cover the cost of any and all damage. Kinda funny in a way, don’t you think? Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Mr. Hedd said and left Ann speechless, standing on the sidewalk as he walked to his car. She stood, unable to move, as she watched him cross the lot to his car and began his habitual circling of the building after closing. When his taillights disappeared around the end of the building, on impulse, Ann pulled a pencil from her smock pocket and jammed it firmly into the entrance door lock and broke it off, then stalked across the parking lot to her car.
Well, Mr. Dick Head, you
’re going to think “kinda funny.” I am not one to be taken lightly and will figure out something. I am not finished with Big Dicks yet.
Several days after the shopping cart incident and with the knowledge that Big Richards did not intend to foot the bill for the dent in her door, Ann drove to the Big Richards in the town of Everett, thirty miles north of Seattle, and, as a distraught customer, filled out an accident report. When she came to the spot on the report for her to list employment, she wrote
“student.”
When she got the okay from the insurance company to take her car to the body shop, Big Richards even supplied
her with a rental car, all at no cost to one of their valued customers.
“
Do I need to get insurance on this rental?” Ann asked when the clerk handed her the key.
“
Nah, Big Richards takes care of that.”
“
So, if someone backs into my rental in some parking lot, I don’t have to pay for it?” She said.
“
Nope, it’s on Big Richards.”
The damaged door was repaired before the week ended. When Ann drove the courtesy car back to the body shop, the clerk noted there was scratch along the entire passenger side.
“Looks like someone keyed your car,” the technician said, running his finger tip over the length of the scratch. “Not to worry, sweetie, Big Richards opted out of signing on for insurance. Said they’re self-insured.”