The Storm Inside (12 page)

Andrew’s eyebrow quirked up, “Nightmare? Interesting choice of words there.”

“Dreams involving Jake ended five years ago. That was my statute of limitations on torture.” I explained. “Everything since then is a nightmare. None of this seems real.”

Andrew crossed his arms over his sculpted, distinctively male chest, and leaned back against the countertop. “Can I ask you a question?”

I knew Andrew and I were going to be friends, I could feel it in the easy way we were talking to each other. “Shoot.”

“If you had a guarantee Jake would never leave you again, would this still be a nightmare?” He was quietly observing me, his eyes soft and unwavering. There wasn’t a hint of malice or a hidden agenda and he seemed to be genuinely concerned for me.

Jake: nightmare or dream? It seemed to be the only question on my mind over the last month. Maybe he was both.

The reason I’d fallen in love with him was still the same. I was still attracted to him physically, but it was so much more than that.

We got each other. He always seemed to know what I was thinking and feeling. I didn’t have to explain myself. I didn’t have to change myself. To Jake, I was just Eve and I was perfect the way I was. He knew my insecurities and fears, but he never used them against me. He knew when to reassure me and when to stand back and let me do my thing.

And I was the same way with him.

He was an extrovert by nature. He loved groups of people and usually found a way to become the center of attention. Not because he needed the spotlight, but because he enjoyed people. I got that about him. It was so interesting to see the new Jake, just the same, but different. He didn’t have that same anxious need to be with a group at all times, but he liked it. Even now as the group around the fire pit was growing, Jake’s glow was growing, too. His smile was widening, his laugh was deepening—it was like he was coming to life.

So was he a dream or a nightmare? The more I got to know him, the more I was unsure of that answer.

One thing I did know, was that
I
hadn’t changed.

I still only had two settings with Jake: off and on. If I flipped that switch, there would be no stopping me. I would have to love him completely. I just didn’t know how else to love someone who I felt so connected to. And if we got that close again and he ran for some reason… I knew I couldn’t come back from that kind of broken heart twice.

“No one can guarantee that, so it doesn’t matter,” I murmured.

“Jennie thinks you two are meant for each other.”

“I used to think that, too.”

“
I
think you two are meant for each other,” Andrew stated flatly, his eyes boring into mine.

I took a step back, an actual step back, as my heart took off racing. How could he possibly say that? He’d barely met us.

“I have amazing instincts, Eve. It makes me a good lawyer and I have a long track record that proves just how good my instincts are. I’ve learned to trust them. The night we met, I assumed you and Jake were a couple because that was what felt right to me. You two vibrate on the same frequency, you communicate without talking… and since then, Jennie has told me all about you and Jake. It has me more convinced than ever.” He pushed away from the counter standing open in front of me, “I know it’s not really my place to be saying things like this, not yet anyway. But trust me Eve, you don’t want to look back and regret losing a man like him because you were scared. You are too strong for that and you won’t like yourself when you look back.”

Something in the way he said that last part made me certain Andrew had his own sad story. I wanted to ask him about it, but I was paralyzed. Every muscle in my body frozen and so was the tongue in my mouth. The only thing working was my heart, and it was racing.

Andrew stepped forward putting his hands gently on my biceps, “Eve, trust me on this. I know people and I know how men’s brains work. That man,” he tilted his head toward where Jake and Ricardo were laughing with Sylvia, “loves you. I don’t know who he used to be and I don’t care. The only thing that matters is now, and I don’t believe for a second that man would ever leave your side. He’s not made that way.” He squeezed my arms and smiled softly; dipping down so that he could look into my stunned eyes, “Think about it.”

And then he left me to my thoughts.

One thing was on repeat in my head.
He’s not made that way
. Andrew had just described a man I didn’t know. He saw a Jake I didn’t know.
He’s not made that way.
But he was, wasn’t he? He ran. He left me. He wouldn’t let me be there for him when he needed me most.

He’s not made that way.

I stared at the man sitting between Sylvia and Ricardo. I wished I could see him like Andrew did. He described someone loyal and unwavering. He described someone hopelessly in love.

With me.

My brain was struggling to work when Jennie came running—and I do mean running—over with a look of terror on her face. “He didn’t, did he?”

“What?” I asked, confused.

“Andrew. I told him not to, but I just saw him walk away and you look like you’ve been hit by a bus. Please,
please
tell me he didn’t do what I think he just did.”

I shook my head, taking a deep breath and focusing. “If you mean telling me his thoughts on Jake, then yes, he just did.”

Jennie grabbed my hand. She tugged hard enough to pull my attention away from Jake. “I’m sorry, Eve. I told him not to, but he was just so damn insistent. He says he couldn’t stand looking at you all torn to pieces when he knew in his gut you didn’t need to be worried.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

Jennie shrugged, “He hasn’t told me exactly. It has something to do with his parents, though. I got that out of him.” Jennie paused, glancing over her shoulder at Andrew. “But he’s right, Eve. I didn’t think you were ready to get the tough love treatment from us, but it doesn’t change the truth. Andrew is right. Jake is different.”

The rest of the crowd arrived at that point and I was grateful. I’d had just about enough heavy, emotional conversation for the afternoon.

“I’m trying to see what you guys see.”

Jennie squeezed my hand again and let it fall, “I know. I just want you to be happy, Eve. I’ve known you a long, long time. I knew you and Jake then and I’ve been your best friend all these years. I don’t want you to be miserable—you know I don’t. Give him a chance…”

My plans to fall
out
of love with Jake were not going so well. Apparently the universe was conspiring against me.

Stephen, Jake’s best friend in college, joined them around the fire pit.

I’d expected Stephen to be excited to see Jake. I was wrong. He was cool and distant. But then again, if anyone else had been really hurt by Jake’s sudden disappearance, it was him.

Max showed up next. He was transfixed by Jennie and Andrew, but all I could think when I looked at him was ‘you snooze, you lose’. Did he really think Jennie would wait for him forever?

I couldn’t stop thinking about Andrew. His opinion mattered to me for some reason.

Maybe it was the connection I felt to him; that we were two similar souls attached to the same wild girl. Or maybe it was his fresh perspective on my life. He wasn’t tainted by the years the way the rest of us were. He saw Jake the way I wish I could. He saw me in a way I couldn’t.

He called me strong.

That was something I used to feel, but hadn’t since Jake arrived. Was I still strong or had I let all of this make me weak?

I was revolted by that thought. Eve Daniels was not weak. I may be hurt and confused, but I was not weak. If Andrew was right, if Jake and I were meant for each other, was I strong enough to love him again?

I wasn’t sure.

Chapter 7

It was three o’clock when we left in the boats. I knew we were pushing things; it was an incredibly hot day and the thunderheads had been building since at least one o’clock. But we went out anyway. Four on my boat, four on the other. Everyone else stayed back to rest on the beach. We shot over to Cayo Costa and we attracted dolphins so we made a few passes, inviting them to play in our wake before anchoring off the beach and wading in.

Cayo Costa was my favorite island. Period. It was a state park only accessible by boat and only a handful of people lived there; so it was one of the few places that still looked relatively untouched by man. The beaches were decent for shelling, especially after a good storm, and there was always cool driftwood along the southern point. I liked the weird horseshoe crabs that lived there, too.

I guess I’d wandered off too far, I’d let myself get too lost in my head, I didn’t see how hard and fast the storm front approached. I didn’t notice my friends calling for me, or the first boat leaving.

Leaving with everyone but Jake and me.

I only became aware of what was happening when I heard Jake’s yelling as he ran down the beach. I finally looked up and saw how pitch-black and angry the sky was, how deep the rumbling from the thunder was. This wasn’t the kind of storm you could ride out. It was going to be violent and long.

Well, long by Florida standards anyway.

“We’ve got to go, now!” Jake yelled as I started to run back toward him.

“No shit.” I muttered.

The air was already sizzling as we pulled ourselves aboard. Jake hauled in the anchor as I lowered and started the engine, quickly calculating our chances of making it home.

The answer was easy: we wouldn’t.

And the waves were already pushing higher and higher as the winds at the front of the storm grew stronger. We needed a backup plan. I yanked the cords of the blue bimini top free of their brackets and sent the canopy collapsing against the hull just as Jake dropped the dripping anchor on the bow.

“Ready,” he yelled. The sun was gone and Jake had tossed his sunglasses onto the dashboard, so when he looked at me I could see how dark with worry his eyes were.

“Sit.” I commanded, throttling forward. We were getting tossed around and it was not going to be a pleasant ride, but at least I knew where we were going.

The boat was hitting the water hard as we cut around the island, rising and falling with each wave. It was the kind of pounding that doesn’t just jar you, but sends a stinging jolt up through your entire body with each and every hit of the hull against the waves. Trying to make it back home would have been ugly, as it was we’d barely beat the rain. It was going to rain hard. The wind was going to be fierce. And the lightning… it was already lighting up everything around us.

It was the kind of storm you really needed shelter to escape from.

There were a few different options we could have tried for, but the old fishing shacks on the other side of the island would only take us a few minutes to get to.

Once upon a time they had been used by fisherman, and I guess they still were. But only by locals like us as a stopover. It was a squat house raised up out of the water on pilings with a dock around two sides. We hit the dock hard as the waves rocked us and Jake deftly roped a pylon. As he secured the front, I scrambled around and did the same to the back. That was when the giant drops of rain started to fall.

The ropes would hold but the boat might not look so pretty after the storm. Or maybe it was the dock that would take the beating, you never could tell which way things would go during a storm. Either way, I didn’t care. I just wanted to be inside, away from the wind and rain and intensity of the lightning. The air was alive, I could feel the tingle on my skin as the electric current wove its way through the air seeking a place to strike next.

“Stow everything,” I yelled above the rumble of thunder.

Jake threw the white padded seat up and started shoving the loose towels and clothes that had been left behind inside. “You want your bag?” he asked.

I nodded and he shoved our things inside before tossing it up onto the dock.

Jake boosted me up first, then pulled himself up behind me. He was still shirtless so I could see every muscle in his beautiful body work.

His hands were warm against my exposed skin and his eyes were deep green and intense, like there was a storm brewing inside him just as powerful as the one swirling around us.

What if you had a guarantee he would never leave?

Andrew’s question came slamming back into my head as my pulse quickened. Could I let everything go if I knew the fear was just in my imagination?

This war in my head had to end. I was driving myself bat-shit crazy.

This guy I’d loved more than anything was back. He wanted me and I wanted him. The basic stuff was easy compared to the complications of my emotions. The bottom line was that Jake scared the pants off me. He was hot and handsome, cocky and confident… and I knew this time it would be so much worse. I’d loved him with everything I had ten years ago, but that was a college girl just starting out in the world.

I was a grown woman now. Logic would have me think that my new experience and wisdom would make a relationship with Jake easier, but that was so
not
the case.