The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya (20 page)

“Meow.”

Upon seeing me arrive home with a stray cat, my sister’s and mother’s eyes grew wide. I gave a made-up explanation that “his owner’s an acquaintance who went on a trip so I have to take care of him for a week” and received their ready consent. My sister was especially happy and began petting Shamisen all over. The cat-demon responded by obediently repeating the sound “meow.” Guess that’s not very cat-like either.

The night safely passed. I had to go to school again in the morning. I was worried about leaving Shamisen alone so I brought him along. As I urged him to get into the duffel bag, Shamisen responded, “Very well then, I suppose,” in an arrogant tone before entering. I let him out by the school gate.

Only a few days remained before the cultural festival, and the atmosphere of chaos at our school had been steadily growing, as though it were linked with Haruhi’s fervor. It made me wonder what the lack of energy up till yesterday had been about.

It was early in the morning, and I could already hear noisemakers and singing. There were also people around making signs and billboards. There was even a group of people wandering around in weird costumes that made you wonder what they were even planning on doing. As things stood, a slider or two could join in without feeling out of place. The only people without any motivation were the members of 1-5 probably. Maybe Haruhi sucked all the motivation out of the class.

I entered the classroom to find that Haruhi was already in her seat, scribbling furiously in a notebook.

“Did you finally feel like writing a script?” I asked as I reached my seat. Haruhi snorted as she raised her chin.

“No. This is a tagline for the movie.”

“Show me.”

I picked up the notebook and glanced over the page.

“Loaded with precious, punctiliously confidential, absolutely secret images of Mikuru Asahina! You’ll absolutely regret missing this! The most talked-about film of the year presented by the SOS Brigade! Crowds will come flocking!”

I’ll refrain from mentioning how uselessly sensational it is or how there are only two months left in the year, but all this really says is that Asahina will be involved. If someone can read this tagline and imagine what the movie will be like, I’ll respect that person for all the wrong reasons. Well, I’m the one filming everything and I don’t even know what the movie is about yet so I can’t really complain. Maybe Haruhi doesn’t know either? Whatever the case, I’m impressed she was able to spell “punctiliously” without looking at a dictionary.

“I’ll print off a bunch of flyers and pass them out on the day of the festival. Yep, they’ll work out great! Okabe won’t complain about being dressed up as a bunny if it’s the cultural festival, right?”

No, I think he’ll complain. This is a strict prefectural high school. Stop doing things that give our teacher stomach pains.

“Besides, Asahina will be busy with her class’s refreshment stand. Koizumi and Nagato probably have stuff to do with their own classes. The only people who don’t have anything to do that day are you and me.”

Haruhi looked at me with suspicious eyes.

“So you want to dress up in a bunny outfit?”

How did you come to that conclusion? You can handle it by yourself. I’ll stand behind you holding up a billboard.

“By the way, did you know? There aren’t that many days left till the cultural festival. The festival’s this Saturday and Sunday.”

“I know that.”

“Really? You seemed pretty relaxed so I thought you might have gotten the date wrong.”

“I’m not relaxed at all. At this very moment, I’m trying to come up with catch lines.”

“There’s something that needs to be done before you start thinking about advertising. When will the movie be finished?”

“Soon. We just need to shoot a few missing scenes, edit everything together, dub in voices and music, add visual effects, and it’ll be done.”

That’s a surprise. From my perspective as the cameraman, I’d have to say that there would be more scenes missing than not. Exactly what kind of movie does the director intend this to be? Plus the work that has to be done after the filming sounds like it’ll take far more time than we’ve spent so far. Though it could just be my misconception.

It was during the break between third and fourth period.

“Kyon!”

A ridiculously loud voice rang across the classroom, making everyone still there jump. I reflexively looked to see Tsuruya peeking through the door. I could barely see Asahina’s soft hair next to her.

“Come over here for a sec.”

I dashed over as if drawn in by Tsuruya’s smile. Haruhi was still following her practice of disappearing the second break began so she wasn’t in the classroom. She was probably wandering around school somewhere. How convenient.

As I went out into the hallway, Tsuruya tugged on my sleeve.

“Mikuru has something to tell you!” she shouted in a voice you probably could have heard on the opposite side of the building as she gave Asahina a smack in the back. “Come on, Mikuru. Give that to Kyon!”

With trembling hands, Asahina handed me a fluttery sheet of paper.

“This is… um, a d-d-discount voucher.”

“It’s for our class’s yakisoba café,” added Tsuruya to explain further.

I gratefully accepted it. It was basically like a coupon. According to the signed words printed on the paper, you would get a thirty-percent discount if you brought this paper.

“Please invite your friends to come along!”

Asahina bowed her head as Tsuruya laughed with a mouth as wide as a comic-book character’s.

“That’s all! See ya!”

As Tsuruya merrily walked off, Asahina moved to follow but immediately ran back to where I was. Tsuruya chuckled at the sight and stopped and stood in a waiting stance.

Asahina joined her fingers as she peeked up at me.

“… Kyon.”

“What is it?”

“You really shouldn’t trust what Koizumi says…. I realize that this makes Koizumi sound like a bad person… which isn’t my goal… but still…”

“You mean the stuff he says about Haruhi being God?”

I don’t believe any of that.

“I, well… have a different idea about that. Basically, that is… it’s different from Koizumi’s interpretation.”

Asahina breathed deeply before looking at me with upturned eyes.

“There’s no doubt that Suzumiya has the power to alter the present. However, I don’t believe she’s changing the structure of the world. The world was like this to begin with. It wasn’t created by Suzumiya.”

Well, well… A view that totally rejects Koizumi’s.

“I believe that Nagato also has a different view.”

Asahina entwined her fingers before her uniform.

“Um… It might be rude to say this…”

Tsuruya was grinning as she watched us from a distance. The look on her face was like that of a mother swallow urging her chick to leave the nest. I think she misunderstood what was going on.

Asahina spoke her words in an unsophisticated tone.

“What Koizumi is saying is different from what we believe. It would be improper to tell you to well… not trust him… but, um…”

She waved her hands frantically.

“I’m sorry. I’m bad at explaining things, and there are restrictions on what I can say…. Um…”

She went through a cycle of hanging her head and looking back up at me.

“Koizumi has his own circumstances and theories. The same goes for us. And probably for Nagato as well.”

Asahina gazed at me with a face so determined, she must have mustered all the willpower in her body. She’s still cute when she looks serious. As I shook from the emotion of being able to see her face up close, I answered confidently.

“I know. How could Haruhi possibly be God, right?”

If the money I throw in whenever I visit a temple goes to her, I might as well set up Asahina as the founder of a new religion. It’ll probably attract more believers too. I’d give it a double seal of approval.

“I find your view a lot easier to understand than Koizumi’s.”

Asahina had a little smile on her face. If sweet peas could smile, it’d probably look something like this.

“Mmm. Thank you. But I don’t hold anything against Koizumi. Please understand that.”

After delivering that odd statement with upturned eyes, she dashed off as though she were running away. With a wave of her small hand, she chased after Tsuruya like a spot-billed duckling following its mother.

It would probably be a good idea to get some work done. And with that thought, I headed to the club room to fiddle with the computer, wondering why such an admirable thought had popped into my mind, to find somebody already inside, wearing a pointy hat and black mantle while reading a book.

Before I could say a word…

“Mikuru Asahina’s tenet is believed to be as follows,” Nagato began, as though she had read my mind.

“Haruhi Suzumiya is not the Creator. She did not create this world. The world always existed in its current form. Supernatural entities such as ESP, temporal deviations, and conceptual alien organisms were not born as a result of Haruhi Suzumiya’s wishes. They always existed. Haruhi Suzumiya’s role is to discover such entities without being aware of their identity, and she has wielded that power for the past three years. However, her discoveries do not lead to self-recognition. She is able to detect abnormalities in the world, but she is by no means able to recognize them. That is because elements exist to prevent such recognition.”

Her lips, never smiling, spoke the words plainly. Nagato stared into my eyes and said the following before shutting her mouth.

“That would be us.”

“So Asahina, for a reason different from Koizumi’s, would also be inconvenienced by Haruhi finding mysterious phenomena?” I asked.

“Yes.”

Nagato returned her eyes to the open book. She didn’t seem very interested in our conversation.

“She has come to this space-time to protect the future space-time she belongs to.”

I have a feeling she just said something really important in passing.

“Haruhi Suzumiya is considered a variable to Mikuru Asahina’s space-time, and in order to maintain the stability of the future, it is necessary to input the correct values. Mikuru Asahina’s role is to regulate those values.”

Nagato flipped the page without making a sound. She continued without even a blink of those hard, black eyes.

“Itsuki Koizumi and Mikuru Asahina have differing roles in mind for Haruhi Suzumiya. They can never accept the opposite side’s interpretation. As far as they are concerned, a divergent theory would shake the very foundations of their existence.”

“Wait. Koizumi said that his ESP showed up three years ago.”

Nagato immediately responded to my query.

“There is no guarantee that Itsuki Koizumi is telling the truth.”

I recalled that handsome smiling face in my mind. No guarantee indeed. Koizumi’s theory just happens to conveniently explain everything that’s happened to me. Who can say if he’s right? The fact of the matter is, Asahina told me not to believe him. But the same goes for Asahina’s theory. Nobody can guarantee that Asahina’s answer is correct.

I looked at Nagato. Everything Koizumi has said may have been a downright lie. Asahina may not have realized that her view was a lie. But this composed alien didn’t look like she’d be able to lie.

“What do you think about all of this? Which one’s correct? What was that potential-for-autoevolution thing you were talking about anyway?”

The black-garbed bookworm was completely devoid of emotion.

“Any truth I may tell you will be unable to grant you solid proof.”

“What’s that?”

However, that was when I saw a truly rare sight. Nagato had a hesitant expression on her face. As I stood astonished, she responded.

“There is no guarantee that I am telling the truth.”

And with that, she set down her book and left the club room, leaving the following words.

“Not for you, at least.”

The bell began to ring.

I don’t get it.

Normally, you wouldn’t, right?

Koizumi and Nagato don’t talk in a way that can be easily understood by other people. It makes me wonder if they’re doing it on purpose. They should at least put a little effort into trying to summarize what they’re saying to something simpler. Or they’ll be speaking to deaf ears. Nobody will bother to listen.

I walked along with my arms crossed as a group of people dressed in stateless medieval outfits ran past me and turned the corner. Nagato, in her black outfit, could probably join in without looking out of place. Maybe some class or club doesn’t want to yield to Haruhi and is filming their own fantasy movie. Lucky them. They’re probably having a fun time filming their movie without having to deal with any of the problems plaguing me. And they probably have a director who actually has common sense when it comes to issuing commands.

I sighed and returned to the 1-5 classroom.

Haruhi was the only one who believed filming was going well, as the expressions of gloom on the faces of Asahina, Koizumi, and myself gradually escalated.

A number of things appeared to be happening as the filming progressed. The next thing we knew, the model gun fired water bullets instead of BBs, Asahina shot dangerous crap from her eyes every time Haruhi brought a different-colored contact (the gold one shot out rifle darts and the green one shot out micro black holes), which would lead to her being bitten by Nagato, the cherry blossoms that had bloomed fell to the ground the next day, the white doves at the shrine turned into passenger pigeons, which were supposed to be extinct, a few days later (Koizumi told me this in secret), and the Earth’s precession was a little off (according to Nagato).

Everyday life was falling apart around us.

I dragged my exhausted body home to be met by the whiskered animal opening his mouth.

“So I simply need to keep my mouth shut around that hyper girl.”

The calico was sprawled on my bed in a posture resembling the Sphinx.

“So you do understand.” I gently grabbed Shamisen’s long tail. The cat slid the tail out of my grasp with a swish.

“You all were behaving in a manner that suggested as much. I also had a premonition that allowing her to hear me speak would be inconvenient.”