Mistress Elizabeth let go of Lillian and hugged Maddy. “Welcome back,” she murmured.
The abbess poured the wine and motioned for everyone to take a glass. She raised hers. “We thank Salbine for your safe return.” Her eyes settled on Maddy. “You’re now back where you belong. Salbine’s will be done.”
“Salbine’s will be done,” everyone echoed. They clinked glasses and drank.
Lillian raised her glass. “My turn.”
Suspecting what Lillian was about to announce, Maddy felt herself smile.
“I never thought I’d say this,” Lillian said, her cheeks suddenly red. The abbess and Mistress Elizabeth looked on curiously as Lillian turned to Maddy. “To Maddy, who’s agreed to be my consort. And to the wonderful life we’ll spend together, in service to Salbine. Her will be done.”
“Salbine’s will be done,” the abbess said enthusiastically as they clinked glasses again.
“That’s lovely!” Mistress Elizabeth crowed after sipping her wine.
“I’m so pleased for both of you.” The abbess put down her wine glass and covered her mouth. For a moment, Maddy thought she’d burst into tears. But she merely stared at them, as if she couldn’t believe it. “Well,” she finally said. “We have a lot to discuss, including when the two of you will pledge. I hope it will be soon.” She patted Lillian’s arm.
Maddy had the feeling that if the abbess could drag them to the chapel and bind them together that moment, she would.
“You’ll want time to change and sup before evening prayers, so I won’t keep you long. I want you both here tomorrow, after morning prayers. You can tell me everything then. For now, we’ll stick to the most pressing matter.”
“Emmey,” Maddy stated.
“Yes. What’s she doing here?” The abbess shifted her attention to Lillian. “You said in your letter you were taking her home.”
“We tried.” Lillian drained her glass and set it on the table. “But her ma’s a whore who pops out babes to steal for her.”
The abbess winced.
“You didn’t take her from her ma, did you?” Mistress Elizabeth said. “She may be a woman of poor character, but you can’t take a child away because you disapprove.”
“We didn’t!” Lillian snapped. “Her ma wasn’t there.”
“She’d upped and left for another town. Emmey’s home was an empty, run-down shack,” Maddy said. “We didn’t know what to do. We couldn’t abandon her with nobody to care for her. So we thought we’d bring her to Merrin and try to find a home for her. If she ends up in the alleys, we can at least watch out for her. We couldn’t do that if we left her in Pinewood.”
“And you’re not going to do it here,” the abbess said firmly. “It’s not your place. Having said that, we’re not without compassion. She can stay here until we’ve found her somewhere else to live.”
“Thank you,” Maddy breathed. “I’ll start making inquiries as soon as I can.”
The abbess shook her head. “I’ll take care of it. Because it has to be done, and it has to be done quickly.”
Maddy didn’t protest. If it were left to her, she’d want the perfect home that didn’t exist. The abbess had to do it for the same reason Lillian had gone to the orphanage.
“Where will she sleep in the meantime?” Lillian asked.
“I don’t see any harm in her staying with you, in your chambers,” the abbess said to Maddy. “Someone has to watch her. But make sure her stay isn’t disruptive. Use your common sense. Areas like the training rooms, the library, and the study rooms are off-limits. Perhaps we should just say that she’s limited to the Initiates Tower and the grounds.”
“I understand,” Maddy said. “What about evening prayers? I can put her to bed beforehand, but I don’t want to leave her unattended.”
“I can sit with her tonight.” Mistress Elizabeth turned to the abbess. “If you don’t mind me missing the service. Everyone wants to see these two. They won’t miss me.”
“True.” The abbess pursed her lips. “But what about tomorrow? I doubt we’ll find somewhere that quickly.”
“Maddy and I can take turns,” Lillian suggested. “After tonight, it won’t be a tragedy if one of us isn’t present at evening prayers while Emmey is here.”
“I agree,” Maddy said, surprised that Lillian had volunteered to sit with Emmey.
The abbess nodded. “That’s settled, then. And Maddy, since you and Lillian are to be consorts, it’s time to sit together. At evening prayers, come up and sit with Lillian.”
“Among the mistresses?”
“You’ll be consort to a mistress. And there’s no rule saying the front belongs to the mistresses. It’s just a habit everyone’s fallen into.”
Still, she’d feel as if she were elbowing her way in where she didn’t belong.
“I’ll announce your news when I open the service, so everyone knows.”
Lillian grimaced. “Do you have to?”
“Yes, I do,” the abbess replied. “Everyone will find out eventually. They’ll all be there when you pledge.”
Lillian muttered something under her breath, then said, “Well, it sounds like we’ve decided what to do about Emmey for now, so I want to go to my laboratory, see what sort of mess it’s in.”
The abbess rolled her eyes. “As far as I know, Dorothy followed all your instructions to the letter.”
“I’ll see, won’t I?” Lillian headed for the door, then turned around. “Oh. See you later, Maddy.” She left.
The abbess tutted. “You sure you know what you’re doing, taking her as a consort?”
Maddy knew she didn’t expect an answer.
Mistress Elizabeth downed the remains of her wine. “I’ll leave the two of you to have a chat then, shall I? I’ll see you at the service.” She patted Maddy’s right arm, then reddened. “Oh! Oh dear.”
Maddy stifled a chuckle. “It’s fine. It’s just my arm.”
“It’s not sore or anything?”
“No.”
Mistress Elizabeth looked skeptical, but left the study without another word.
“I’m sorry about your arm and hand,” the abbess said. “I was horrified when Barnabus told me of it.” She motioned for Maddy to sit as she rounded her desk. “Tell me, how are you?”
How to answer that question? “Glad to be home. And terribly sorry about how arrogant I was. I’m sorry I wouldn’t listen and thought I knew better than everyone else here. I’ve just spent months away to learn that I belong where I started. If I’d only listened.”
The abbess rested her elbows on her desk. “There are things we need to discover for ourselves. It’s not unusual to only appreciate what you had when you no longer have it. I just wish the lesson hadn’t demanded so much from you.”
“I’m not sure I would have learned it, if it hadn’t,” Maddy admitted. “Now I know my place is here. I belong here.”
“With Lillian?” the abbess asked with a smile.
“Yes.” Maddy hesitated. “I know I’m young.”
The abbess shook her head. “Maddy, you love my sister. More importantly, you understand her. That’s all that matters. I’m delighted that you and Lillian will pledge. I suspected you would.”
She didn’t try to hide her pleasure at the abbess’s remark.
“And I’m pleased that you feel you belong again.”
“I do, but I’d still like to go to Heath. I still don’t know how I’m to serve, especially now. I still don’t understand why Salbine would call me and then deny me Her gifts.”
“But you accept that Salbine called you.”
“Yes. I have to, otherwise my life doesn’t make sense.”
The abbess pondered for a moment. “I think you should take some time to rest your body and your spirit. Enjoy this time with Lillian. Take the time to adapt to your . . . arm. When you’re ready—” she raised a finger, “and don’t tell me you are now, because I won’t believe you—we’ll help you find your answers. You need to rest first, recover from your ordeal and get used to life here again.”
Maddy couldn’t deny that puttering about the monastery without feeling she had to grapple with unfathomable mysteries would be a welcome respite. “I’d like to see if there’s a way to embroider with my one hand. I thought I’d speak to the carpenters.”
“You should. Don’t hesitate to ask anyone for help.” The abbess met her eyes. “About the documents . . .”
Maddy shook her head. “You couldn’t have known.”
“But you were right about those outside and how they view us.”
“It could have been the circumstances, Abbess. If not for the fire near the inn, none of it would have happened. I don’t blame you. So please don’t blame yourself.” She changed the subject. “I’m sorry I didn’t contribute to your anniversary cassock. I wanted to.”
“And you will. The anniversary service is still a month away. I told Mistress Bertha to leave a few stitches for you, in case you returned in time.”
She must have done so before she’d learned of Maddy’s hand. “But I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.”
“My stitches will be horrible.”
“But they’ll be your stitches, Maddy. That’s what matters. I’m sure the mistress will help you with them, if you need her aid.”
Maddy’s eyes welled. She should move back to the Novices Tower until she relearned what it meant to belong to a community.
“We’ve spoken enough for now. You should go to the stables.”
“I will.” She quickly wiped her eyes and rose. “Thank you for allowing Emmey to stay. I know—”
The abbess raised her hand. “We can talk about this tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Abbess.”
“You’ll have to learn to call me Sophia when we’re together socially, which I expect will be a lot more often now.”
“To be honest, I’ll find that difficult.”
“We’ll be family, Maddy. Well, we’re already family, but soon we’ll be family through blood, not only through spirit. I’ll see you at the service.” Maddy bobbed and left.
As she crossed the courtyard, she told everyone who stopped her that she’d chat with them after evening prayers. Hopefully Mistress Elizabeth would bring something to do while she minded Emmey.
At the stables, Rose was leaning over the fence, watching Thomas lead Emmey around the yard on a white horse.
“I can see she’s already charmed Thomas,” Maddy said, stopping next to her.
Rose nodded. “I’m surprised she wants to ride. She must be sick of it by now.”
“She’s never ridden by herself. She’s doing well,” Maddy said proudly.
Rose pushed away from the fence and held out her arms. “I didn’t think I’d see you again,” she said, hugging Maddy. “We were all on tenterhooks until Barnabus came back. Every time I heard that someone was approaching the gates, I’d rush out to look. To be honest, I still rushed out, even after he was back,” she said sheepishly.
Maddy hugged her tightly. “I missed you.”
“And I missed you.” Rose stepped back. “Are you all right?” She glanced at Maddy’s arm. “I couldn’t believe it when I heard.”
“It was that, or Salbine’s realm.” Yes, Salbine’s realm. She had to have faith.
“I want to hear all about it,” Rose breathed. “Everything!”
“We have a lot of catching up to do.”
“We do! I . . . uh, should tell you something, before someone else does.”
Rose’s hesitation piqued Maddy’s curiosity. “What?”
“It’s about me and Nora. We’ve grown close.”
“You mean—you and Nora?”
Rose nodded. “You’re sort of to blame.”
“Me?”
“I was worried sick about you. Nora was always willing to listen to me fret. It’s funny, she’d been across the hall from you all that time, but I never really knew her that well.”
“I’m glad I was out of the way for a while, then,” Maddy said, meaning it. She liked Nora.
“What about you and the mistress? Are you still together? When you left without her, I did wonder,” Rose lowered her voice, “if you were trying to get away from her.”
“No. I definitely wasn’t.” Maddy drew a deep breath. “You’ll probably think me mad, but Lillian asked me to be her consort, and I agreed.”
Rose’s eyes widened. “No, I don’t think you’re mad. Perhaps in the beginning I didn’t quite understand it—the two of you—but I can see she cares about you. When she went riding off after you . . . oh dear,” Rose placed her hand against her chest and finished in a husky voice, “so romantic.”
Maddy bit back a laugh. “I don’t think she sees it that way.”
“But you love her?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Aw . . .” Rose’s face scrunched up. “I’m happy for you.”
The chapel bells pealed in the distance. Maddy turned to yell, “Thomas!” When he looked at her, she beckoned him over.
He led Emmey to the fence and inclined his head. “Good to see you back, Sister.”
“And I’m pleased to see you. I’m afraid I’ll have to take Emmey away from you, though. We have things to do before evening prayers.”
“She’s welcome to come again.”
Maddy smiled as she watched Thomas lead Emmey to the gate. Emmey ran toward her and stopped a few feet away. “Do I have to go now?” she asked, her fingers in her mouth.
“No. You’re going to stay with me.”
Emmey’s face lit up. Maddy crouched to look into her eyes. “Only until the abbess finds you somewhere to live. Remember what we talked about.”
“I know, Miss,” she said mournfully, then glanced around. “Where’s Lillian?”
“Lillian’s busy.”
“Will we see her later?”
Maddy would, but Emmey wouldn’t. “Probably not. You’ll see her tomorrow, though.”
Rose ruffled Emmey’s hair. “Shall we walk to the Initiates Tower together?”
“Yes, let’s,” Maddy said, straightening.
“You’re the Miss’s friend,” Emmey declared, grabbing Maddy’s left hand.
Rose looked at Maddy. “Are you the Miss?”
Maddy nodded.
“Then yes, I am her friend.” Rose hesitated, then gently slipped her arm through Maddy’s right arm. “Glad we can still do this,” she said with a smile.
A lump formed in Maddy’s throat. Rose’s simple gesture had put to rest any lingering doubt she may have had about reaffirming her commitment to the Order. She belonged here. If not for the little girl clutching her hand, she’d regret ever leaving.
L
illian stopped at the door to her chambers and turned to Maddy. “Now—”
Mistress Meredith emerged from the nearest stairwell. “Oh, thought it might be you two ahead of me.” She gripped Maddy and Lillian’s arms. “I’m so pleased for you. And I’m glad you’re back, Lillian. Dorothy’s tinctures just aren’t the same. Think you can prepare me another one soon?”