“Probably won’t survive is better than definitely won’t survive.”
Lillian nodded. “That’s my thinking, too.” She started to rise, but Maddy grabbed her shirt. “Two more minutes, Lillian. I have a couple of things I want to say to you.” She was grateful that Lillian didn’t insult her by insisting they’d have time to talk later, after her hand was gone. She met Lillian’s eyes. “I want you to talk to the governor about a girl named Emmey. I want you to help her get home. Will you do that for me? He’ll tell you where she is.”
“Who is she?”
“We shared a cell. She’s only eight.”
“Eight?” Lillian frowned. “I’m not very good with children.”
“I just want you to help her get home, that’s all. You don’t have to take her yourself.”
“This girl is important to you?”
“Yes.”
Lillian pursed her lips. “I suppose I could hire someone to escort her.”
“It would put my mind at rest.”
“Then that’s what I’ll do.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise,” Lillian said. “In Salbine’s name, I promise.”
“Thank you. Now, listen.” She pressed her palm against Lillian’s cheek. “If I don’t survive this, I don’t want you to blame yourself. I would have died anyway.”
Lillian’s cheek trembled under Maddy’s hand. “I’ll try not to, but I can’t promise.” She reached up and covered Maddy’s hand with hers. “I wish we had more time.”
“So do I.” Maddy swallowed. “I love you, Lillian.”
Lillian gulped. “That’s the sickness talking.”
“No, it isn’t. It’s me. And I love you. Never forget that.” She slipped her hand from under Lillian’s. “Go make those preparations.” She wasn’t at all offended when Lillian left without reciprocating her declaration of love. Lillian had said
I love you
the moment she’d walked into the room.
*****
Her heart pounding, Lillian closed the door to Maddy’s sickroom and leaned against it. Barnabus and the governor turned to her. “Are you all right, Mistress?” Barnabus asked.
No, she wasn’t, but she’d better pull herself together, and quickly. Otherwise Maddy wouldn’t have even the tiniest chance of pulling through.
Concern creased Barnabus’s face. “How is she?”
“Not good. Terrible.”
“The healer . . . she left me a tea that will help her pass to another realm,” the governor said.
“That was kind of her, but the sister won’t be needing it. We have one chance to save her, albeit a slim one. She’s agreed to let us try. If we fail, she’ll pass quickly on her own.” Lillian met the eyes of each man in turn. “I say ‘we’ because I’ll need your help.”
“Of course, Mistress. What do we have to do?” Barnabus asked.
“We’re going to cut off her hand.”
Barnabus merely blinked. The governor paled, then swayed and steadied himself with a hand to the wall.
“She’ll probably die, but we’ll do it anyway.” Though the governor would likely faint and be of no use. “We’ll need a room with a table long enough to hold the sister,” she said to him, then cast her mind back to the description she’d read of the procedure. If only she had the tome with her. Hopefully her memory was sound. “And I’ll need the following tools: a knife and a saw or axe—sharp!—a pry-bar, a—”
“Begging your pardon, Sister,” the governor said, slightly green. “I’ve heard there’s a physician in Reedwick. Just passing through, he was, so I don’t know if he’s still there.”
“Why didn’t you bring him here to see the sister?”
“I just found out about him this morning,” he mumbled. “And Mazie—the healer—she said there’s nothing to be done.”
Lillian bit her tongue and hoped the physician was still in Reedwick. Even if he’d never performed the procedure, he’d be a great help. An hour or two’s delay wouldn’t make much of a difference to Maddy’s chances of survival. “Do you know where he’s staying?”
“Aye, but as I said, he might be gone.”
“If he hasn’t left, I want him here. Barnabus.”
“Can one of your men take me to him?” Barnabus asked the governor.
“Aye. And then I’ll show you a room I think’ll be all right.” He gestured for them to follow him.
“And have your men gather the tools I need.” She would finish listing them for him after Barnabus set off.
“I will, Sister.”
“Good.” Everything was in motion.
Maddy loves me.
No, she couldn’t think of Maddy. If she did, she’d lose her nerve. For now she had to remain aloof. Later, she’d weep at Maddy’s bedside, or at her funeral pyre.
A
s Lillian examined several cloths and chose the one she thought would be the best fit, Barnabus strode into the kitchen with a smartly dressed man at his side. “The governor told us we’d find you here, Mistress. I present to you Mr. Crandall. And this,” he said to Crandall, “is Mistress Lillian, of Merrin.”
Crandall dropped his bag to the floor and bowed. “It’s always an honour to meet one marked by the gods.”
“And to meet a learned man,” Lillian responded. “I presume Barnabus has told you what we intend to do.”
“Yes,” Crandall said, his face grave. “I’ve never performed the procedure, but I have observed it on several occasions. I must be blunt: of the five I’ve observed, only one survived.”
“We know the odds we face, but we still want to try. I’ve read about the procedure, but never performed it. Do you think you can do it?”
“Yes.”
His confidence bolstered Lillian’s spirits. When they were in that room cutting through Maddy’s arm, it was important that everyone believe that the procedure could succeed, even if they were deluding themselves. “I’d like to apply a poultice to the wound when we’re finished. I’ve prepared the herbs, but I can’t mix the paste and spread it onto the cloth until we’re almost ready for it. It has to be warm.”
“I assume this will promote healing?” Crandall said.
Lillian nodded. “And help to preserve her lifeblood.”
“At the last procedure I observed, the lifeblood was preserved by tying off the vessels that carry it.”
“Oh? That wasn’t mentioned in the tome I read,” Lillian said with interest.
Crandall nodded. “It’s a new development. But you have to be quick, and this being my first time . . . In the others, heat was applied to the wound by way of a hot iron.”
Both Lillian and Barnabus shuddered. “You mean they burned everything shut?” Lillian exclaimed. “Wouldn’t that just inflict another wound?”
Crandall’s mouth turned up at the corners. “Guess which of the five survived? But we might have to consider it. As I said, because of my inexperience, I might not be able to tie quickly enough. We may need to use heat.”
“Forget the hot iron. We’ll focus the heat only on the vessels, and only if we have to.”
“And how do you propose we do that?”
Lillian lifted an eyebrow.
Crandall’s brows shot up. “Of course! Can you be that precise?”
“Yes, I can. But I’m surprised the tome didn’t mention anything about tying or irons. Well, it did mention tying, but only in reference to a strip of cloth above where you plan to cut. Tied tightly.”
Crandall scratched his chin. “I’ve not seen that, but I don’t see what harm it could do. As for your poultice, its healing properties will be beneficial regardless of how we preserve her lifeblood. You should have time to prepare it while I’m covering the wound.”
“Covering the wound?”
“With her skin. I’ll cut the bone at a higher point than the skin, so I can use the skin to close the wound.”
“I would have just cut it all at the same place,” Lillian said, making a chopping motion with her hand. “We’re very fortunate that you’re here.”
“And lucky. I was planning to leave today. Another couple of hours and I would have been gone.”
She and Barnabus exchanged a glance. “Well, I suppose we should get on with it.”
Crandall picked up his bag and she led him to the room the governor had prepared, one the guards used for meals. Two tables had been pushed together, and the tools Lillian had requested lay on a smaller table against the wall. Crandall crossed to the table and examined each tool in turn. He tested the edge of the saw with his thumb, then did the same with the knife. “I’ll use my own knife,” he said, opening his bag.
The governor hesitantly stepped into the room and raised a bottle of ale. “Thought you might be wanting this. Might knock her out.”
“We certainly don’t want her to drink the entire bottle,” Crandall said, “but a nip or two might help calm her. Do you have anything stronger? Rum, perhaps?”
“Aye, if that’s what you want. I’ll fetch a bottle from the cellar.” The governor glanced at the tools. “I don’t have to be here, do I, when you’re . . . cutting?”
“No, you don’t,” Lillian said quickly. “If you’d like to help, you can go to the kitchen once we’ve started and boil the pot of water we’ll need over the fire. Keep it simmering until I come for it.”
He brightened. “It’ll be simmering, Sister, I promise you that.”
“And we’ll need your three strongest guards. Can you fetch them now?” Crandall said.
The governor rolled his eyes. “The sister isn’t a prisoner anymore, and is too weak to escape, even if she was.”
“I’m not worrying about her escaping. I need the men to hold her down.”
“I see.” The governor set the ale on the table with a trembling hand. “I’ll fetch the men and the rum.”
“Do we have everything we need, then?” Lillian asked Crandall.
He nodded. “I’d like to see the sister, look at her hand and arm, before we bring her here.”
“Barnabus, will you take him to Sister Maddy and then wait there for me? I’d like a moment with her alone before we start.”
“Yes, Mistress.”
Lillian covered the tools with a cloth before leaving the room so Maddy wouldn’t see them, then went to the prison’s main gate, where they’d left their horses. She pulled a robe from one of Ticky’s saddlebags and took a moment to breathe. The sun warmed her face and the clear blue sky settled her nerves.
Maddy can’t die, not on such a beautiful day.
But people did all the time. Lillian patted Baxter’s side and steeled herself, determined not to have another reason to spend all her days in her laboratory, out of the sun.
Barnabus and Crandall were waiting outside Maddy’s room. “She’s already weak,” Crandall said. “But her lower arm definitely has to go. I’ll do my best for her.”
“That’s all we can ask.” Lillian sighed. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
Maddy’s eyes were closed when Lillian entered the room. She peeled off her travelling clothes and stepped into her robe. When she’d finished buttoning it, she knelt next to the bed and stroked Maddy’s hair. Maddy’s eyes opened. “We’re ready for you,” Lillian murmured.
“You’re robed.” Maddy inched over, rested her cheek on Lillian’s shoulder. “It’s rough. I said I’d make you a new one.”
“You might still have the opportunity.”
“Not with one hand. Though I suppose one hand is better than dead.”
Lillian managed a smile. “That’s the spirit.”
Maddy lifted her head. “Will you pray with me?”
“Yes.” She took Maddy’s hand, bowed her head.
Salbine, I don’t talk to You very often, so when I do, You know it’s important. I firmly believe You brought me here in time to help Maddy. So help us. Help me, help Crandall, help Maddy. She thinks she’s malflowed because she’s lost Your favour. But she hasn’t, has she? Otherwise You wouldn’t have rushed me here. If You still have work for her to do, if there’s a reason she’s malflowed, then guide me. Guide Crandall.
That inner voice spoke.
“So you want Me to save Maddy for Me and not for you? Lillian, if you’re going to ask Me for something, at least be honest about why you want it.”
And . . . and if You won’t save her for You, save her for me. I love her. I don’t want to lose her when I’ve just found her. Please, Salbine, consider my plea. At the very least, welcome Maddy into Your realm. She deserves at least that.
Your will be done.
Lillian raised her head.
“It will be all right, Lillian,” Maddy said softly. “No matter what happens, it will be all right.”
Embarrassed, Lillian wiped moist eyes. “I should be comforting
you
.”
“Whatever happens will touch both of us.”
“What you said before . . . about loving me . . .” Her face crumpled.
Blast it! What’s wrong with me? I’m a mess!
“I know.” Maddy’s hand tightened around Lillian’s arm. “Salbine keep you, Lillian.”
Taking her lead from Maddy, Lillian composed herself and leaned over to kiss Maddy’s forehead, then her lips. “And you.”
It was time. She gave her face one last wipe with her sleeve and hoped she looked all right, then rose and opened the door. “Barnabus.”
He nodded grimly and entered.
“Barnabus!” Maddy said, smiling at him as he approached the bed. “It’s so good to see you.” Lillian realized he must have remained outside while Crandall examined her arm.
Barnabus bowed. “And you, Sister.”
Lillian pulled back the blanket and tried not to wince at Maddy’s emaciated body. Barnabus’s jaw tightened; he caught Lillian’s eye as he slipped his arms under Maddy and lifted her from the bed. Crandall led the way back to what Maddy would likely view as a torture chamber. Walking behind Barnabus, Lillian could only see Maddy’s thin legs dangling over his arms.
“Gently,” Crandall murmured as Barnabus lowered Maddy onto the tables. He uncorked the rum bottle and handed it to Lillian.
She helped Maddy to a sitting position and supported her back. “Drink a bit of this.” Maddy gulped some down. Barnabus and the guards positioned themselves around her, sweat beading on their brows and fear in their eyes. “Hold her tightly,” Crandall said.
Lillian stood near Maddy’s head. Once Crandall started to work, she’d try to disassociate herself from the fact that it was Maddy lying on the table and observe him, but for now, Maddy was all that mattered. She gazed at her, hoping her terror didn’t show. Maddy blinked at Lillian, then closed her eyes. Her lips started to move. The room went quiet, save for Maddy’s whispering. Lillian caught the word “Salbine” over and over again.