The Rules Regarding Gray (31 page)

He was both offended and egotistically justified at the same time at the fact that she’d chosen to come here to be with him, rather than staying home to see her boyfriend. He was offended because she was lying to Ian in order to be there. He’d rather she simply be there for him with no guilt about it. At the same time, he was egotistically justified because she wanted him more—plain and simple.

But, beyond his conflicted emotions, her presence meant even more than just that. She was his friend. Hell, she was oddly his closest friend in all the world, and he was terrified he was going to lose that when this … thing … imploded on them, and given his state, it wouldn’t take long. What had they expected? No good thing started this way. They’d treated sex as some casual game, and they were paying for the intensity of what had happened between them now. She might not be vocally acknowledging it any more than he was, but it didn’t really need to be said out loud at this point. She was there rather than home with her boyfriend, after all. Why was he so pissed at her?

The second the guys were gone, he jammed the door back into place, drove a few nails into it and the remaining frame to hold it closed until he could get it fixed, and then walked out to the patio. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as his gait slowed. He sat at her hip, and she smiled nervously up at him.

“When do you go back?” He stared at her lap as he waited for her to respond and tried to quiet the anger. He couldn’t even say he understood it.

“Tomorrow. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow afternoon.”

He nodded. “I’ll get you to the airport whenever you need.”

“When are you coming home?”

He shrugged. “I still have a lot to deal with here.” He was answering nothing.

She sat up, reaching for his cheek and running her palm along his skin. He leaned into it, sighing and trying to let go of the confusion and turmoil in his head. And when he turned his lips to her palm, he kissed. She took a quick deep breath. She had something to say. He could tell.

“You didn’t know, did you?” Her eyes studied his as he pulled back from her hand. “About your parents trying to give you up…”

He shook his head, looking away for a moment.

She nodded, clasping his hand in hers. “I imagine it’s hard to know what to think about that.”

“I’m not surprised,” he said quietly. “My parents—”

“No. I mean how to feel about your grandmother’s involvement.”

He chuckled at just how transparent he was to her, and more than that, at just what she was willing to say to him. She shied away from nothing real, relevant, and deep. She was incredibly strong in that way. And she was right. He didn’t have a clue how to feel about the fact that his grandmother had paid off his parents to keep them from giving him up for adoption. Adoption could have been a blessing to him. Instead, he’d endured years of hatred and cruelty from them before G had been able to get him back. But he had his G for it. And she’d been worth it. In some sense, he felt oddly deceived by her. He also felt incredibly loved.

“She must have been an amazing woman, and she obviously loved you very much. She wanted to protect you. You know that, right?”

He nodded, and then it was silent for a while as he studied her and held her hand. When he opened his mouth to speak, his heart pounded. He was going to ruin something that needed to be ruined. Or maybe he was just a worthless piece of shit like his dad suggested, and he was going to pull her down into his hell.

“Did you just come here to get laid?” he asked without inflection.

“Excuse me?” Her brow wrinkled.

“I talked to Ian this morning. You didn’t tell him you were coming. You lied to him.”

She looked down at her lap, and she gnawed on the inside of her lip. “I just wanted to be here.”

“That doesn’t require a lie.”

She said nothing for a moment, her guilt obvious in her expression.

“You’re cheating on your boyfriend with me,” he said bluntly.

“And here I thought we had permission,” she said defensively.

“Sure. To fuck, but I think we both know that’s hardly what we’re doing any more.”

She stared at him, her eyes wide, but her focus faltered, and she looked back at her lap again quickly.

“I said it was going to get complicated.” He nodded his head. “And it sure as fuck has.”

She looked confused, guilty, defeated even, but she said nothing as she processed his words.

“And now I feel like I’m going to lose my best friend because of this.”

“Ian won’t—”

“I meant you,” he said calmly. He wasn’t at all calm in truth.

Her eyes filled with tears then, and her lips trembled.

He took a deep breath. “Listen, I’m not in a great mood right now.” He shook his head. That was the understatement of the century. “I
am
glad you’re here, and at the same time, I’m also angry you came.” He shrugged. “My dad tends to bring out the ugly side of me. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said quietly.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” But he had.

He leaned to her forehead, kissing her gently, and when he pulled back, she watched him. She seemed suspicious—as though she thought he might break down at any moment. Maybe she was right. There was a limit to everything, and he knew he was dangerously close to his.

Chapter Thirty

By the time Gray came inside Jasper was gone. He’d left a note on the kitchen counter saying he’d gone for a walk, and after waiting for him to come back for hours, she finally went to bed. She had no idea where she should sleep, or if she was even supposed to sleep there, but there was only one bedroom on the first level that she’d found, and she shoved her bag into it, changed out of her dress and into a tank top, and she turned the lights out.

She was confused. He was off—very off right now—and she didn’t know what any of it meant. She couldn’t say she was surprised. Just enduring five minutes of his father’s hatred had left her reeling. She’d never in her life seen such cruelty from a person, much less a parent, and he’d been subjected to that since he was child. A child. How could any child emotionally survive hearing such ugly things? Perhaps she was naïve, and she didn’t doubt in the least that she was, but she was shocked.

She’d literally watched this shift happen in front of her eyes. He’d been fine—devastated, heartbroken and sad, of course, but fine—before his father entered the picture. And in one fell swoop, that man had left him broken. He may look little different than he always did, but she could see it. And there had been nothing Gray could do to stop the spiral.

She was alone in a home she didn’t know, far away from her own place in the world, and the man she’d come to see had run away for the past many hours. She’d only wanted to help him by coming. But she wasn’t sure that was even possible anymore.

When she fell asleep it was dark out, and he was still gone.

* * * *

Gray woke to warmth along her spine, and the quiet rustling of the bedding. She was lying on her stomach, and she could feel Jasper’s warm lips kissing and sucking along her lower back, just above her underwear line. She held her eyes tightly closed, trying to decide if she was really awake or if she was just dreaming.

It could be a dream. It must be, because the last time she saw him, he wasn’t in this frame of mind. He slipped her underwear over her bottom, and as he slowly pulled them down, his lips followed, sucking and kissing along her buttocks. She murmured against the sheets, letting the soft fabric brush her lips as she nuzzled into them. This was surely a dream. It felt too good to be her life right now.

He left her underwear around her thighs, and as his mouth moved and licked her cheeks, his hands gripped her hips, his fingers covering her hipbones. There was a sudden jolt as he snapped her hips back, thrusting her bottom up, and she gasped. But the shock of his aggressive touch was dwarfed when there was suddenly warmth between the lips of her sex.

His tongue pushed between her lips, and his facial hair tickled against her skin. He held her hips in place, pushing her butt high and forcing the lips of her sex to stay where he needed them to be for his tongue to delve and lap at her from behind. His tongue ran along and over her cleft, and she listened to the sound his mouth made against her skin. She loved that sound. It was so exceptionally arousing, and every place his tongue licked and laved, prickled with warmth. He hummed deeply as her body aroused and her own wetness intensified.

She moaned, her fingers clutching at the sheets as her body tingled, and her brain tried to wake up. But then he abandoned her. His hands released their strong grip on her hips, and his mouth was suddenly gone. He crawled up her body, weighting her down in the pitch darkness of the room, and then he filled her on a deep and harsh thrust that sank him to her core.

Pain pierced like a knife through her groin. This was definitely not a dream, and as her thighs trembled, she whimpered at the ache that seared through her. His legs were outside hers, pinning hers in place as he withdrew. The narrow set of her thighs left her vagina feeling too small to accommodate him, but he thrust hard again, sliding tightly through her wetness.

His lips were at her ear, and he said nothing at all. His breaths were lurching and halting as his hips started snapping against her bottom, and she cried out. She was pinned to the bed, and when he rested his hand next to her, he ran his fingers over her face, and she moaned softly against his palm. It was the only gentle part of his body at the moment.

His hips continued to smack into her bottom, and the penetrations were swift and invasive. He pulled completely from her each and every time, slamming back into her body as she held herself still. He grunted against her ear, and suddenly the gentle palm against her lips moved up. His fingers wound through the hair at the crown of her head as the heel of his palm rested against her forehead. He was twisting his fingers in her hair, pinning her face to the bed as much as his weight pinned her body, and his legs held hers in place.

It was the most consuming position any man had ever had her in. There wasn’t even an ounce of control in her possession, and it sent a trill of fear and absolute freedom through her body all at the same time. She didn’t have to try to do anything—not to him, not to herself. It was all completely and totally out of her hands, and all she had to do was close her eyes and feel. Feel every deep invasion, the searing tight heat that scorched in and out as his hips moved. Feel the weight of him pressing against every inch of her body. Feel the slowly twisting strands of hair in his grip. Feel the warm breath that shuddered against her ear.

His free hand roughly pushed under her body and found her sex. But he didn’t toy, he didn’t even really touch her with his fingers at all. Instead, he let her feel exactly what his harsh penetrations could force her body to do to herself. Every thrust rocked her hips, and her sex pressed against his palm that was held snug to her slit by the weight of their bodies.

Her wetness was seeping from her, and she could hear it smacking against his hand as her hips moved. His hips sped, and hers did too, every stroke across his hand bringing her closer. But it wasn’t on her terms. It wasn’t going to happen until he made it happen, and she closed her eyes, resting her forehead to the sheets, breathing against them and feeling her own warmth as it heated the fabric against her lips.

It was silent aside from their panting breaths, the sloppy wet sound of their sexes meeting and parting over and over, and his quiet grunts as he sank himself into her again and again. And when that mesmerizing, aggressive fucking finally put her over the edge, she cried out, reaching back and gripping into the back of his thigh, her nails digging into his skin.

His thighs pumped, and her hands gripped his tight muscles as they contracted and released. She whimpered through her release as his legs kept driving himself harshly into her until he finally stilled on a deep thrust. His grunt was low, and she knew it was emanated through gritted teeth as he came inside her. His fingers finally loosened on her hair, and he sighed. Her grip on the back of his thigh was still tight, and as she released her nails from his skin, he hissed.

He moved to the side of her, releasing her body from the weight of him, and he pulled her back to his chest as she rolled to her side. She stared into the darkness around them, and she tried to figure out if she should say something. But he didn’t seem interested in talking as his lips started moving against the back of her neck, and she sighed.

He kissed down her back as his body descended, and when he reached her bottom, he pulled her top hip toward him, rolling her to her back as he pushed her top thigh back and moved between her legs. He licked, and he soothed her swollen and sore skin, and he dipped his tongue into her body as she moaned quietly.

His fingers splayed out over her lower belly, massaging that soft flesh as his lips kissed her clit and then licked that hardened peak of nerves. She gripped the top of his hand that was on her stomach, and she started gasping for air as her body started to tremor and close in on her release again.

She hit her peak for the second time in such a short while, and as she passed over, every nerve in her body danced and vibrated, leaving her trembling from head to foot, her teeth chattering, and her breath still as she struggled to inhale.