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and women Christians chained to all the windows and doorways was set alight and gave a faithful picture of the horrors of the great fire as the flames began to lick their limbs. Many of those trying to extinguish the fire lost their lives when they quite unnecessarily flung down their sieves and threw themselves into the flames in a vain attempt to drag out their parents or brothers and sisters. The entire circus, especially the upper rows of seats where the simplest people were sitting, spluttered with laughter. But several senators ostentatiously turned their faces away. Critical remarks on the unnecessary cruelty were heard from the knights, although of course, the best punishment for the fire-raisers of Rome was that they should be burned alive. While this was going on, the people who had been arrested at my father�s house on Viminalis arrived and were hustled in with the rest of the condemned prisoners. When Barbus and Jucundus realized what was to happen, they tried vainly to have a word with me. The guards pretended not to hear them, for many of the prisoners pleaded all manner of pretexts when the screams began to be heard down in the cellars and the stables. They were already divided into different displays and the groups were separated for the sake of order, so I had no reason to go down there. I had to rely on the experienced menagerie foremen and stay in my seat of honor as the organizer of the animal displays to receive the applause. I would not have had time to go down, even if I had had a message that someone wished to speak to me. In addition, Jucundus, confused and uncertain on his crutches,, was more or less convinced that a certain brotherhood, in fact insignificant, which he had formed with some Eastern boys at the Palatine school had been discovered and now he was to receive his rightful punishment. These youngsters, in their foolish youthful way, were in favor of crushing Parthia and setting up the capital in the East. In some ways, this was what Nero also sometimes considered when he was tired of the Senate. The difference lay only in that the Romans were to be ignored after a successful war in Parthia and the ruling power was to be transferred to the old Eastern royal families. Naturally no one would have taken such boyish ideas seriously
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had they come to light, for boys will always be boys. But Jucundus, who was only fifteen and had just received the man-toga, was so conceited that he thought he was being punished for political conspiracy. When Jucundus realized he was to die, he confided in Barbus, and since they had been unable to get in touch with me, they decided to die honorably together. And I do not know if I could have helped them even if I had known of their fate, for Nero was embittered by my father�s public insult in front of the Senate. For practical reasons, I had arranged things so that for the whole of the second half of the program there would be wild animals in the arena. To lend variety and excitement to the show, I had decided to arm the Christians who wished to fight the animals. But I could only distribute swords, daggers and spiked clubs, which those who wanted them received at the entrance of the arena. Jucundus and Barbus announced that they had chosen lions and swords and they had their way at once, for unfortunately most of the Christians were not willing to perform and only a few stated their wishes. Most of them wished to offer no resistance and to go to paradise as easily as possible. After the interval, to cheer the crowd up, I sent a group of Christians in animal skins out into the arena and another pack of hounds after them. But this time the hounds did not obey the whistles, and having accomplished their task, stayed where they were, rushing around on the sand. I had no objection any longer, save that these harrier hounds were expensive beasts and should not be killed unnecessarily. Then it was the turn of our three wild lions. They were handsome animals and I had good reason to be proud of them. On the advice of my experienced subordinates, I had kept a group of feeble old men, old women, cripples and half-grown children for the lions, for according to my information, nothing amuses the crowd more or arouses louder laughter than when dwarfs and cripples flee from wild animals. For this reason, Jucundus was well suited to the lions. First the group had to be assembled, limping and hopping into the center of the arena, the hound trainers protecting them with their whips. Fortunately the hounds showed no interest in
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them because they were not in animal skins. Then Jucundus and Barbus stepped into the arena with their swords, leading the ten or so other armed Christians. The crowd broke into a howl of laughter at the sight of this youngster, jogging along on his crutches, and the toothless old man presenting arms with his sword in front of the Imperial box. I was upset by this demonstration from the spectators and glanced at Nero. I suspect that he was offended by the laughter and my faulty judgment, although I could not have foreseen this, but he managed to keep a good countenance and laugh with them. I must admit that I myself was irresistibly amused by Jucundus� and Barbus� conceited performance until I recognized them. But as they plodded out into the middle of the arena and arranged the other armed Christians in a circle around the older people and the children, I did not know who they were at all. I could not have imagined anything so impossible as my own son and my most faithful servant ending up with the wild animals. Indeed, for a moment I wondered who had thought up the bright idea of putting these two comical creatures in the lead of those who were to fight the lions. I think both Jucundus and Barbus were deeply offended by the spectators� laughter. They had chosen the lions because Barbus had told Jucundus how in my youth I had captured a lion with my bare hands near Antioch. On the same occasion, he himself had shown great audacity and thus he considered that lions were the wild animals about which he knew most. For safety�s sake, he told Jucundus to put his crutches down and kneel behind him, so that he would not be immediately knocked over when the lions attacked, for he wished to protect� Jucundus with his own body, to give him an opportunity to show his courage. I think that Barbus, in exchange for Jucundus� confidence, had told him that I was his real father. No one else but my father and Barbus knew this. I had not even told Claudia of the consequences of my youthful lapse, although I had boasted to her about Lugunda when I had first returned from Britain. When the lions� gate was opened, Jucundus tried to attract my attention by calling out to me and cheerfully swinging his sword to show me he was not afraid. And then the scales fell from my eyes and I recognized him and Barbus. It felt as if my
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stomach had fallen right down into my knees. In my despair, I cried out something about stopping the show. Fortunately no one heard my order in the general hubbub, for when the great lions rushed into the arena, the crowd shouted with delight and many spectators rose to their feet to get a better view. If I had stopped the show at its most exciting moment to save Jucundus, Nero would probably have been so angry that he would have sent me down into the arena as father to my son, and I do not see that that would have benefited anyone. As soon as I could collect my wits a bit I had myself under control again and was pleased that no one had heard my cry in that moment of despair. Sabina, who regarded the lions as her property, had used every means she and Epaphroditus could imagine to excite them and arouse their lust for blood. Thus the three handsome creatures rushed into the arena so wildly that at the sudden change from darkness to sunlight, the largest lion stumbled over some smoking brands, rolled over and scorched its mane. Naturally it became angrier than ever, although no damage was done. The lions were dazzled by the light, increasing the general tension as they padded around roaring, without at first noticing the group of Christians in the middle of the arena, but occasionally ripping down a few of those who had been crucified on the protective fence. Meanwhile Barbus had thought to run and fetch a smoldering piece of wood and encouraged the other armed Christians to do the same. By swinging the piece of wood in the air and blowing on it, he made it flare up and thus had a torch in his left hand and a sword in his right with which to meet the lion. A couple of the others managed to do the same before the lion noticed their running figures and struck one of them to the ground from behind without even giving him time to use his sword. Shouts of disgust came from the spectators who thought he had turned his back on the lion out of fear, although he was only running as fast as he could to get back to the unarmed Christians to protect them with his torch. Then the hounds roaming around the arena unexpectedly became involved in the game. Responding to their training, they formed into a pack and fearlessly began to attack the lions from
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the rear. Thus it was easy for the Christians to defend themselves at first, for the lions had to keep whipping around with snarls of fury to shake off the hounds. With the help of a little luck, Barbus succeeded in poking out an eye of one lion before he fell, and Jucundus thrust his sword into its stomach and wounded it severely. As the lion rolled on the ground and tore out its own guts, Jucundus dragged himself nearer on his knees and managed to give it a death blow, but the lion�s death throes ripped his scalp so that he was blinded by the blood. The crowd applauded him vigorously. After fumbling for Barbus and realizing he was dead, Jucundus picked up the torch and swung it blindly as he tried to wipe the blood from his eyes with his sword hand. One of the other lions scorched its nose on the torch and was frightened, thinking it was an animal trainer�s red-hot iron it had to contend with, and turned away after easier prey. I began to fear that the display would fail and that I had relied too much on the Christians� lack of skill with weapons. But there were not many hounds left. They soon tired, so the two remaining lions could finish them off before hurling themselves onto the Christians. The hounds were so fearless that not one of them fled with its tail between its legs. One lion snapped the spine of the last hound with a skillful blow of its paw, so that the hound lay howling. One or two dog-lovers in the crowd rose to their feet and shouted that this was much too cruel a game. One must not torment dogs. One of the Christians put a merciful end to the animal�s suffering with a thrust from his sword. Jucundus was still fighting. A Christian with a spiked club, seeing that he was the most skilled swordsman of them all, stepped forward to protect him from the rear. Together they managed to wound one of the lions severely. The crowd was so delighted that one or two thumbs were already turned upward, but this was of course to no avail and premature. Jucundus met his death. The rest became uninteresting slaughter as the two lions attacked the unprotected huddle of Christians, who did not even run away, which might have amused the crowd. They remained standing close together so that the lions had to tear them away
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one by one. I was hurriedly forced to order in two bears to help the lions. At the very end, when all the Christians had been torn to death, the lions and the bears had a tremendous battle; and the wounded lion especially received huge applause for its blind courage. I was upset by Jucundus� death, although by then I already knew of certain events in Tigellinus� garden during the fire of Rome, which meant that Jucundus deserved his punishment. But I shall return to that later. Now the responsibility for the show was mine, and it had to go on. Just then, one of the slaves from my country place in Caere came up to me, radiant with joy, and told me that Claudia had borne me a fine boy that same morning. Mother and child were well and Claudia was asking for my agreement to call the boy Clement. I could see it only as a favorable omen that just as my son Jucundus had lost his life in a courageous battle with the lion, I had received the news that I had another son. The name Clement, the mild one, I did not think appropriate, considering the circumstances at the time I had heard of his birth, but in my joy I thought it best that Claudia should have her own way in the matter, for I knew only too well that there was a great deal of explaining to do to her later. And in my heart, I have been calling you Julius, my only son, for ten years. The program went on with considerable variety for the whole afternoon. Naturally many surprises occurred, for they can never be avoided when wild animals are in the arena. These surprises were mostly fortunate ones and were credited to my organizing ability. Many bets were laid among the spectators and several fights broke out in the crowd, as always happens at these shows. The sun was already beginning to sink as the show reached its peak with the Dirces and the Hyrcanian bulls. The delight of the crowd knew no bounds when all the arena gates were flung open at once and about thirty bulls rushed in, each with a scantily dressed girl tied to its horns. Out of sheer envy, the theater people had wished to receive the honor of this number, and after a long argument I had left the tying on of the girls to them and of course they and their helpers had made a wretched job of it, so that finally I had to ask my experienced herdsmen to help.
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The block of stone I had taken so much trouble to have dragged into the arena turned out to be useless. As the theater people bellowed the saga of Dirce into megaphones to the crowd, the bulls effortlessly shook the girls off their horns, tossed them up into the air and gored them to death. Only two of them eventually crushed their Dirces to death against the stone as they should have done and as the myth demands, but this failure was not my fault. The remaining Christians were now driven out to the bulls. To my delight they abandoned their general indifference and behaved with incredible courage, as if suddenly seized with a longing for death, hurling themselves as if in a race straight at the bulls and flinging themselves onto their horns. The crowd shouted their acclaim and even began to feel a little sympathy for them. But when this game came to an end, the bulls began to gore the crucified, knocking over the crosses and butting the protective fence with such force that those sitting nearest seriously began to fear that it would not hold. But the games were over now. After a glance at the sky, I was able to heave a sigh of relief and order the bowmen to kill off the bulls. This they did so skillfully and courageously, often in close combat, that the spectators gave them their grateful applause as well, although I had feared that this necessary final number would bore the crowd. Tigellinus had wanted to burn the protective fence with its nailed Christians at the very end, but Nero would not agree in case the fire spread and destroyed his circus. As the crowd streamed out through all the entrances, several Praetorians went around the arena killing the Christians with their lances, for Nero considered it reasonable that they should not suffer any longer than the Christians who had been burned at the stake or killed by the wild animals. If anyone wonders why I did not spare my valuable wild bulls, then I shall say that it would have been stupid and lowered the whole value of the show if some of the crowd had been encouraged to stay on during the evening to watch the long and dreary business of capturing them. The bulls were so wild that several keepers at the menagerie might have lost their lives. But anyhow I was going to send such a colossal bill to Nero for my animals that I did not mourn the loss of my Hyrcanian bulls.