The Reason Why (23 page)

Chris J held his hand up and silenced his date. “Hold on.”

“What?” she asked.

Chris J squinted and focused his eyes to make sure that he was seeing what he was seeing. He was sure that it was Pam in the theater, and she was there with another cat.

“That's fucked up!” Chris J declared.

“What?” his date asked.

“My man just got locked up, and his girl is already stepping out on him. Man, that shit is fucked up. Scandalous-ass hoes, I tell you.”

“Don't jump to conclusions, Chris.”

“What do you mean, don't jump to conclusions? I got eyes, I know who she is. She's right there, in the middle of the damn theater, cheesing all up in another nigga's face while my homeboy is in jail for giving her the good life. Yo, it's fucked up for real!”

“I wouldn't do you like that,” she declared, trying to win brownie points.

“Yo, what is your name again?” Chris J asked, annoyed.

“What? Nigga, don't play with me!”

Chris J waved his hand, dismissing her. He had more important things to think about. Like how he was going to break the news to his man that he had seen his broad dippin'. Damn, he hated to be the bearer of bad news, but his man had to know what he was dealing with. If he were in jail, and his main broad was dippin', he would damn sure want to know.

“Damn,” Chris said, shaking his head. “I would have never thought she would break bad on my dude.”

“It's always the ones you least expect,” his date said, agreeing with him.

“Damn, I got to go see my man and give him the news,” Chris J said sadly. “I know he got a lot on his plate already, but he gots to know. I don't want him coming home to no fake bitch or taking care of one while he's locked away. Sorry bitch!”

P
am walked into the visitation room to see Chino. This time he was already seated and waiting for her. Visitation had been crowded, and she had to wait in the lobby for a booth to become free. Chino had to wait in the rear lobby with the other prisoners for a booth to become free also. Both had had their patience tested today, and neither was in a very good mood.

“What's up, baby?” Pam said, exhaling, finally settling down to talk to him.

“You tell me,” Chino said.

“Nothing, just missing you.”

“Oh, you missing me?” Chino asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Yeah, of course.”

“I can't tell,” Chino told her.

“What do you mean?”

“You stepping out, going to the movies and shit!”

“Chino!”

“Chino my ass!” he said, pounding the counter in the booth. “What? Did you think that I wasn't gonna find out?”

“Find out what?”

“Find out that you creeping with some nigga!”

“Creeping?” Pam said exasperated. “I wasn't creeping with anybody!”

“I can tell! You bold with your shit. You all out in public at the movies with the nigga!”

“Chino! It wasn't even like that!”

“What's it like then, Pam? You fucking tell me!”

“I just went out with a friend.”

“A friend, huh?”

“Yes, he's a friend, that's all!”

“What's this nigga's name?”

“Erik. His name is Erik.”

“And where did you meet this nigga?”

“At school,” Pam said softly.

“At school! So you
been
knowing this nigga! You probably been fucking with this nigga even before I got locked up! Man, this is some fucked-up bullshit!”

“Chino, I haven't been fucking with Erik, and I'm not fucking with him now! He's just a friend.”

“A friend? How come I haven't heard of this friend before? How come this friend didn't pop up until I got up in here?”

“Because he wasn't important, Chino. He was just a guy at the same college, who I had some classes with. We became friends. That's it, nothing more!”

“So, you and this fool have classes together and shit. And now that I'm locked down, you two stepping out together and shit.”

“Chino, we ain't stepping out. I just needed to get out of the house, and he was somebody to talk to.”

“You can get out of the house with Tomiko! And what the fuck you mean, he was somebody to talk to? You know this nigga like that? You trust him? You confide in him? You two are that muthafucking close?”

Pam exhaled and lowered her head into her hand. She was growing more frustrated and flustered by the moment. “Chino, will you listen to me?”

“I'm listening! I'm listening to you tell me how you have a nigga at school that you can talk to and confide in and shit.”

“Chino, all I talk about is you! How I miss you, how I want you to come home, how I love you. That's all I talk about!”

“You can tell that to me. How you gonna go out on a date with another nigga? Damn, Pooh, at least let my side of the bed get cold! That's fucked up!”

“I ain't fucking him!”

“That's what you telling me. Obviously, the nigga means something to you. Who is this mark-ass nigga?”

“I told you. His name is Erik.”

“Who the fuck is Erik? Where this nigga from?”

“He's from NewYork.”

“New York? You fucking with a New York nigga?”

“I ain't fucking with him.”

“You know we got major beef with them niggas, and you fucking with one of them? Have you lost your muthafucking mind!”

“For the last time, I ain't fucking with him! He's just a friend. He understands what I'm going through.”

“What the fuck you mean he understands what you're
going through? How the fuck he understand what you're going through?”

“'Cause he knows about this type of stuff.”

“About what type of stuff?”

“About jail, and catching case, and stuff like that.”

“What, is the nigga in law school or something?”

Pam shook her head. “No, he be hustling.”

“He's a dope boy? A fucking New York dope boy! Bitch, you're fucking insane! You fucking a New York dope boy behind my back. You sleeping with the fucking enemy? I can't believe this shit!”

“I'm not sleeping with anybody, Chino!”

“I thought I could trust you, Pooh! I thought that you were different! But you turned out to be just like all the rest! You a skank just like all these other hoes running around here!”

“Chino, don't say that!” Pam said, crying.

“You a ho! A funky-ass slut!”

“Chino, you don't mean that!”

“The fuck I don't!”

“I haven't done anything. I would never cheat on you! I love you too much to do anything.”

“And to think that I was going to marry you?” Chino said, shaking his head. “I would have been setting myself up. You probably would have helped them niggas jack me.”

Pam was crying and shaking her head. “Chino, don't say that! I would never hurt you or allow anyone else to hurt you! I love you!”

“Get the fuck outta my face!”

“Chino!”

“I don't want to ever see you again, Pooh! I hate you!
You're a fucking slut, a ho, and a skank-ass bitch! Don't ever come in my face again!”

Pam rose from the seat inside the booth and ran out of the visitation room in tears. She was beyond hurt. She loved Chino with all her heart. All she had wanted to do was get out of the house for a little while, and now that decision would cost her the love of her life. It was too much for her to bear. If God took her Chino away, then he might as well have ended her life right then and there. She couldn't live without him.

P
am burst into tears once again. She was in her and Chino's condo, sitting at the kitchen table. It was the dead of winter, and she had already been home from Christmas in Detroit for a couple of weeks now. Her family had begged her to move back home, but Pam refused.

She couldn't count the number of times that she had burst into tears, replaying her and Chino's last conversation. He hated her, all because of a stupid yet innocent little trip to the movies. And now here she was, desperately in need of someone to talk to, someone who would understand, and she couldn't talk to anyone. She damn sure couldn't talk to Erik. The last thing she needed was for someone to spot her talking to him again. Chino would probably break out of jail and kill her. So now she was stuck having to carry this burden alone. In fact, it was an even bigger burden now, because her man hated her. She was lost and felt like a rowboat adrift in an enormous sea.

“Pam, what exactly did he say to you?” Young Mike asked.

“I told you!” Pam snapped, through her sniffling. “He hates me now!”

Young Mike closed his GED book. “Look, you just have to look past all of that bullshit that my man was talking. You got to understand what he's going through. He's in there alone, missing you, without any of his family or partners; he's fighting a case and just trying to survive. You got to be strong, and you can't give up.”

“He doesn't ever want to see me again!” Pam said.

“He didn't mean that.” Pam looked at him with hope in her eyes. “Look, there's a lot of history between us and them New York cats. There's a long beef since back in the day. You gotta understand that. You not from here. You stepping out with a New York cat is like a Phillies cat wearing a Pirates jersey. Or a like the Celtics and the Lakers kicking it together. It's straight up bullshit. Granted, you didn't know that, but still.”

“I wasn't stepping out,” Pam said. “I just needed someone to talk to.”

“Hey, no offense taken,” Young Mike said sarcastically and shrugged his shoulders. “I do live here with you. I ain't been to college and I know I'm not the sharpest pencil in the box, but damn, ma!”

Pam laughed. “No, it's not that. You got to understand, you're never here. Especially when I need you. Erik is a friend from school. I ran into him at a vulnerable moment and broke down. It wasn't about me and Erik, it never was. It was always about my Chino, and me missing him.”

“That may be so, but you got to look at it from my man's point of view. He's locked up, and all of a sudden this new cat
appears out of nowhere. And you stepping out with the dude and telling my man that he's a friend from school, someone you never brought up before, and on top of that, you tell my man that he's in the game? Damn, that was twisted, ma!”

“I didn't mean it like that! Erik is just a friend!”

“That's how it always starts and that's what they all say. He's just a friend. And when you in jail, all you have is time to think and your mind be thinking some crazy shit. He's wondering every second what the fuck you doing and who you're doing it with.”

“I'm not doing anything!”

“You know that, and I know that, but he doesn't know that!”

“He should! Chino should know by now that I would never cheat on him!”

“He knows, but prison is a fucked-up place. He's seeing these other niggas' women breaking left, and he's hearing these stories about how they are stepping out, and that's fucking with his head. His mind is playing tricks on him right now. The last thing he needs is to hear about another nigga.”

Pam shook her head. She understood Young Mike's point. “I wasn't trying to hurt him.”

“That's usually when it happens. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, ma.”

Pam smiled. “You sure you're not the sharpest pencil in the box?”

Young Mike held up his GED book.

“That tells me that you're pretty damn smart,” Pam told him.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you're sitting here studying for your GED and trying to better yourself. A lot of guys your age wouldn't be thinking about getting their education. They'd be in the streets right now. I'm proud of you.”