The No Cry Discipline Solution (57 page)

rant is not the place to battle over new and unfamiliar foods.

• Don’t stay if you’re not having fun.
If a child’s behavior

gets out of hand, take her to the restroom or out to the car for a

time-out. If she continues to misbehave, don’t be afraid to ask for

doggie bags and leave the restaurant. But don’t give up. Review

your expectations and try again.

Roughhousing or Wild Play

See also: Sibling Fights; Yelling, Screaming,

and Shouting

When my children play they like to wrestle, chase, and

shout. They’re noisy and rambunctious. I don’t have

a lot of patience for this, so I usually end up yelling at

them to stop.

Think About It

Children have an abundance of energy—and it’s a good thing. We

just need to help them fi nd the right outlets for that energy.

What to Do

• Move them to another place.
If the problem is the
location
of the play more than the play itself, just shift the setting. When you

see the children begin to get physically active, move them outside

or to a room that is safe for rough-and-tumble activity.

• Stop the play before it gets out of hand.
Perhaps you repeat-

edly admonish your children to “be careful” or “settle down” but

let things progress until something is broken or someone is hurt.

Only then do you actually put a stop to the action. Instead, step

in when you sense that things are headed in the wrong direction

and divert their attention to a different activity.

252

Copyright © 2007 by Better Beginnings, Inc. Click here for terms of use.

Roughhousing or Wild Play

253

• Provide optional entertainment.
Sometimes children start

roughhousing if they are bored and not being creative about fi nd-

ing something to do. Put together an easily accessible “activity

closet” with games, crafts, puzzles, art supplies, and other activities

that can help to absorb their energies.

What Not to Do

• Don’t yell.
Adding your loud voice to an already intense

situation won’t help your children calm down or fi nd something

productive to do.

• Don’t threaten.
Don’t make empty threats like “If you don’t

stop right now, then I’ll. . . .” These statements undermine your

authority and assume disobedience. Moreover, these threats usu-

ally aren’t carried out and your children know that, so they don’t

encourage the cooperation you’re hoping for. The only thing

threats tend to do is create negative energy. Try to stick to instruc-

tions that tell your children what you
do
want them to do.

Sharing

See also: Biting Other Children; Hitting, Kicking,

and Hair Pulling; Sibling Fights

My child has a hard time sharing her toys

with others.

Think About It

Sharing is a complicated social skill that takes guidance and prac-

tice to develop. Young children get very attached to their posses-

sions, and they don’t understand how sharing will affect them or

their toy. In order to get a better understanding of these feelings,

think for a minute about one of your most prized or important

possessions—perhaps your computer, camera, car, or boat. Now

think of having a friend take it away to use for a day. That feeling

of apprehension and uncertainty, plus inexperience, may be at the

root of your child’s reluctance to share.

What to Do

• Demonstrate how to share.
Share things with your child

and point out that you are sharing. For example, “Would you like

a turn on my calculator? I’d be happy to share it with you.”

• Encourage your child to share toys with you.
It’s often

easier for a child to share with a parent, since the child knows

you’ll be careful and that you’ll give the toy back when you’re done.

254

Copyright © 2007 by Better Beginnings, Inc. Click here for terms of use.

Sharing

255

It makes for good sharing practice. When you hand her toy back,

explain what she just did. “You shared so nicely, thank you.” That

way she has a good feeling about what it means to share, since her

young friends probably won’t treat it the same way.

• Give your child choices.
Instead of demanding that your

child share a specifi c toy, give her some options. “Sarah would like

to play with a stuffed animal. Which one would you like to let her

play with?”

• Create situations that require sharing.
Your child can get

good practice with sharing when given toys or games that require

two or more people to play, such as board games or yard games

(such as badminton). Also look for activities that have plenty of

opportunities for everyone to participate, such as modeling clay,

coloring or art projects, or building blocks.

Arianna, age 2, and Mommy