The Nemisin Star (21 page)

“Cat.”

He tossed his
sword to the floor. She sat on her coat in the centre of the white
room listening to the music.

Dark eyes
turned to him. “I could listen forever.”

His anger
leeched away. Yes, forever. And the present.

He came to sit
before her.

“And?” she
prompted.

“I have not
been gone long. What does that tell you?”

“That you
couldn’t find her,” she said, arching an eyebrow.

Despite
himself, he laughed. “Something like that.”

She saw the
shadows in him. “So, what now?”

“I choose to
step over the line.”

She drew
breath. “That bad?”

He cupped her
face, leaning forward until his lips touched hers and stared into
her unfathomable eyes. “Do not tell me that you love me, not ever.”
She blinked. “Not ever, Cat. I do not want that burden.”

She nodded and
parted her lips. He felt the movement and closing his eyes turned
his head to claim those lips. Immediately she broke the contact to
look at him. She took his hands from her face and pushed him onto
his back, crouching over him, not touching. “You have to be
sure.”

It would be a
grave mistake. “I am sure.”

Her mouth came
down and he jerked her onto him.

No conscience
held sway.

There was
nothing but hands, mouths and skin in that empty chamber.

I am lost.
Save me.

~ Unknown

The Keep

T
ristamil knocked.

He heard Skye
moving on the other side of the door, but she did not open. Finally
he swore and turned the handle. It did not budge. She locked it,
which was unusual in the Keep. He banged on the wood.

“Go away,
Tris.”

He slammed his
shoulder into the offending door and it smashed inward, the lock
shattering in the onslaught. He stumbled in, and shoved it shut.
The door bounced against the jamb and swung open. He swore long and
loud and with infinite care pushed it into a closed position.

She watched
him with big eyes.

“I will get
someone to fix the stupid lock. Skye, we need to talk.”

She went to
the window. “There is nothing further to say. I wish you would
leave it alone.”

Hers was one
of the smaller suites. A single bed, dressing table and a small
wardrobe. A shower stall off to the left. It was spotless and
tidy.

“Then listen.
I am leaving for Cèlaver with my father tonight - a planet near
Canimer. Apparently their religion includes the process of
rebirth.”

“
Rebirth
?”

“My father
searches for a way to stop Margus in the realms after death.”

“Why?”

“Margus is
reincarnate. Killing him here in the physical world will not attain
much. Thus …” Tristamil spread his hands.

“That is
terrible. Torrullin will recall all his journeys during
reincarnation.”

He licked his
lips. “I am not here to discuss that. I hoped we could at least
find some kind of compromise before we leave. I hate leaving
matters unfinished.”

She pushed
away from the window to stand before him. “We never really started
anything Tris, so there is nothing unfinished. As much as it hurts
I think we should step away.” She jabbed his chest with one finger.
“And this has nothing to do with Tymall. I don’t ever want to hear
you ask how I feel about him again.”

He studied her
for a while. “Fine.”

Skye muttered
under her breath. “Final word on your brother. I haven’t changed my
mind because you are more accessible. I haven’t changed my mind,
period.”

“What does
that mean?”

“I didn’t love
him and I know that now. I loved the idea of him.”

“We have been
over this.”

“Tris, I think
I have always loved you. It scared me that you had feelings for me
and Tymall didn’t, so it was easier to put him on a pedestal. I
don’t like being singled out; I don’t enjoy attention - look where
attention has got us.”

He sat on the
bed. She preferred loving someone from a distance, because she was
too shy for more. His brother fit that requirement well. Now, as
she unconsciously feared, their relationship garnered the attention
she hoped to avoid. Yes, that was how she thought. That was how she
was.

“You cannot
hide behind diffidence forever.”

“I realise
that now.” She smiled. “Too late anyway.”

He managed to
smile as well. “No more Tymall.”

“In the past,
but there can be no us.”

“There can be.
We can be together if we desire it.”

She was silent
for a long time, gazing at him searchingly, before she turned her
face to the window. “Lovers, I assume. And you find a Valleur
wife.”

He stood and
moved up behind her. “Not a wife. A mother for my son. And when the
line is secure, you and I get married.”

Her lashes
glittered with tears. “And I must watch you with another woman. I
can’t do that.”

“Think of the
future.”

She pushed him
back. “I am thinking of the future. I am thinking of how the
Valleur will see the Vallas! Your father and then you, wife,
mistress, both bringing the Vallas into disrepute.”

“You do not
care about our reputation!”

“I care! I
care, because mine will be in there as well, and worth little.”

He glared at
her. “Love should not care, Skye.”

“Who is the
idealist now? Love cares, because love needs to survive calamities.
If I am the other woman who becomes wife at the expense of the
mother of your children, I regard that as a calamity. I may suffer
similarities to Saska. Can you guarantee your children will accept
me? Love me? Do I hide my head in shame every time I see them or
meet their mother? I’m sorry, but I am not made for that kind of
contrariness and I don’t think you are either.”

“You don’t
know what I am capable of.”

“Maybe not,
but if you can accept only a part of something beautiful as enough,
then perhaps you need to re-examine what you ask of life.”

“Ouch!”

“Oh, bugger
off.”

“For Aaru’s
sake, if we turn our backs right now, we may regret it
forever.”

Her chin
trembled.

“One day you
will wish you took a risk.”

She lost her
temper. “You are now manipulating me! I hate that! I hate that you
think you can! I hate that you want to try! No, quiet! My father
will turn in his grave if he knows you intend to make me a kept
woman on the basis of maybe marrying me one day! I do not deserve
half of nothing! How dare …”

“I dare
because I love you! I dare because I prefer part of something
beautiful to nothing at all! I don’t want to be alone forever.”

“You will have
the mother of your heir!”

He drew a
shocked breath.

“Cat got your
tongue?” she lashed out. “Gods, look at your father! Are you going
to be like him? How do I trust a man who is more than willing to
sleep with another? Look what it does to Saska! I don’t want to be
that woman!”

“Clearly you
don’t love me enough if you can’t trust me.”

She drew a
breath, and it degenerated into a terrible confrontation.

Lifesource
Temple

“Keep her here
for a few days,” Torrullin said to Quilla sometime later. “And it
would be a good idea to bring Skye and Lowen.”

The birdman
was clearly displeased with his protégé’s latest exploit, despite
his earlier thoughts on what turmoil did for him. “I like it not,
Enchanter. They will be safe at the Keep and this is not a
hostel.”

Torrullin bit
back anger. “You have Mitrill here. They would be company for her,
especially Lowen.”

“I did not
realise you knew Mitrill, Enchanter.”

“I am not
going to answer that.”

Quilla sighed.
“Fine, Cat can stay, and I shall fetch the others.”

“Thank you. I
will not talk about this, Quilla. Not this.”

Quilla
inclined his head. “That says more than words.”

Torrullin did
not respond to that, asking instead, “What did you wish to see me
about?”

“About the
fair Mitrill, actually, but there is no longer need.”

“Problem?”

“I merely
thought to inform you her father had her brought here when we were
en route to Tennet.”

“She will be
safe here, particularly from Margus. Make sure she remains in
Q’lin’la care.”

“If you want
it that way.” There was a question in that statement.

“You have no
idea who she is and it is eating at you.”

“Obviously,”
the birdman snapped.

“The fewer who
know about her, the better.”

Quilla put his
little hands together. There was reproach there.

“She knows
nothing either, Quilla. Ask nothing of her.”

“Your
daughter, Enchanter?” Torrullin was so blatantly astonished by the
question that Quilla knew it could not be. He waved one hand
dismissively and dropped the subject. “I meant for you to rest a
while before leaving for Cèlaver.”

An underhanded
stare. “I have rested, in a manner of speaking.”

Quilla
snorted. “Sometimes I think you actually enjoy the waves you
create.”

“I function
better.”

“Ah, you are
aware of that. Pity. By the way, Mitrill is older than Lowen by a
number of years and yet you suggest they could be companions.”

“Lowen is able
to hold her own even with the wise; she will be good for a lonely
young woman.”

“Maybe so,
maybe so. Does the clever Lowen hold her own with you,
Enchanter?”

Torrullin was
wry. “She sees through me. An old soul, very wise.”

“I agree and
with your permission in hand I would like to talk to her.”

“Unfortunately
for you, old friend, that decision rests with her. She speaks only
to those she wants to.”

“Sounds like
someone else I know.”

Torrullin did
not smile. “I will tell Matt his sister is here. I must go; Tris
will be waiting.”

“Dress warm;
it is cold on Cèlaver. And be careful out there.”

“Keep the
watch. No offworld jaunts.”

“I shall be
here.”

They clasped
hands and parted.

Cat waited at
the arch.

“Quilla has
granted you a place here, and Skye and Lowen will join you,”
Torrullin said.

“You are
protecting me.”

“It is better
this way, for now. Saska will be like a cathron back at the Keep
and it is not safe at Skye’s in Luan.”

“I’m just
accustomed to fighting my own battles.” She grimaced. “I guess I
couldn’t face her anyway.”

“It probably
won’t get easier.”

“Yeah, but I
prefer when you are around to have my back.”

“Take care,
Cat.” He kissed her forehead and turned to go.

As he reached
the lightbridge, she shouted, “I cannot count on you returning to
me, can I?”

There was an
almost unnoticeable break in his stride, but he did not stop and he
did not turn. On the lightbridge he vanished.

Well, Cat, you
were warned. You cannot count on anything.

She approached
the bridge and stared into the void. It was almost nightfall - they
spent most of the day together - and it was deep dark in the unseen
depths. She shivered and lifted her gaze to the deserted bridge.
The music was ever-present and she took a few minutes to allow the
melodies to soothe her fright.

Yes.
Fright.

She loved him
and it scared her.

The Keep

“Ready?”
Torrullin almost tripped over the two packs in the doorway of his
study.

“I think so,”
Tristamil replied. “We need to secrete our swords.” He was pale,
his eyes bloodshot.

Torrullin
sucked at his teeth. Skye, obviously. His own life was at present
in such a state, however, he had not the base from where to find
the words to help his son.

Tristamil
studied his father in turn and grinned. “Ah, I see your day was not
much better.”

Debatable,
son. Either it was by far better than yours, or it will prove
to
be the biggest mistake yet.
He grinned back. “Crazy
day.”

“Women.”

Torrullin
burst out laughing. “Indeed. Can’t live with them …”

Tristamil
laughed as well, feeling immeasurably better.

“What have you
packed?”

“Basics and a
few things we can use as gifts or bribes.”

“Water?”

“Yes, but we
will need to be spare.”

“Anything
personal that can be traced?” Torrullin. asked.

“I put a book
of poetry in for you.”

“The one from
my drawer? Why?”

“Some of our
best debates centred on poets words; I thought with us …”

“… stuck in a
hole with nothing to do but wait? I would be honoured to debate
words with you, son. Thank you.”

Tristamil
swallowed over the lump in his throat. “Likewise. Um, it’s not
inscribed, so there would be no trace.”

“I have no
intention of losing it, don’t worry. Now, the swords …”

The two
concentrated on the task of hiding their blades and scabbards in
specially designed recesses.

“You need
warmer clothes,” Tristamil murmured.

“You sound
like Quilla,” Torrullin joked. “Where is Saska?”

“I don’t
know.”

“She is
probably in our chambers.”

“You are
trying to avoid her,” said Tris.

“Bingo.”

“Create what
you need here.”

“Then she will
know I am trying to avoid her.” Torrullin headed for the open
door.

“Are you all
right?” Tristamil asked his father.

“I do not want
her to think I have a guilty conscience.”

“Do you?”