Authors: K.C. Finn
Tags: #young adult, #historical, #wwii, #historical romance, #ww2, #ya, #europe, #telepathic, #clean teen publishing, #kc finn
The Mind's Eye (25 page)
“
Was that Steven?” she urged.
“Henri said he was bringing him his uniform so he could get changed
here, instead of on the train.”
Blod nodded,
her beautiful brow creased in worry. She had hardly mentioned
anything about Bickerstaff to me since that one morning under the
tree, but any time Henri or I mentioned his name we always got the
sense that she was suddenly eavesdropping on us very carefully. She
rung her hands together and took a few sharp breaths before she was
off out of the room again like a shot. I was left listening for
Henri and though I was tempted to step into his head I resisted the
urge. Today was not the day for that kind of prying, I would wait
for him to come and say a proper goodbye.
Eventually
the feet on the steep stone steps caught my ears. I turned my
wheels to face the door and smoothed my hair and dress down tidy,
admiring the polka dots draped over my knees. It was the dress he
had made me, the one we had saved for an opportunity that never
came, and though Henri might have been willing to wait until after
the war to see it on me, I was not so patient. I heaved up out of
my chair and onto my crutches, swishing the dress with a swing of
my knees so it fell nicely around me. I found I was surprisingly
weak for the time of the morning, like the core of every limb was
made of jelly.
The trembling
weakness only increased when a slow creak indicated that the door
was opening. A pair of long legs in brown boots stepped through it,
shortly followed by the rest of Henri’s strong body and his wide,
shining smile. I smiled back proudly at the sight of him in
uniform, but my face dropped into a frown when I realised he wasn’t
wearing the green shade I’d been expecting. His fatigues were a
dusty, sandy sort of brown. Henri slipped an arm around my waist to
help me stay standing, following my gaze to his khaki lapels as I
reached out and touched the thin, coarse fabric.
“
You like the colour?” he asked playfully.
“
What’s it for?” I answered, looking back up to his deep brown
eyes.
“
North Africa,” was his reply.
“
The desert!” I exclaimed.
as much as I should have about all the places on the globe where
this beastly war was being fought, but I knew that the sandy belt
of countries flanking the north coast of Africa weren’t the safest
place to be even in peace-time. I couldn’t find any more words to
say, so I just buried my head in Henri’s shoulder and tried not to
cry. He wrapped his arms around me tightly until a second set of
footfalls entered the room.
I pulled away
from him to see Bickerstaff wearing the same coloured clothes, save
for a few big red crosses sewn on that indicated his position as a
medical officer. He had a smart little hat sticking out of his
pocket which he toyed with as he tried not to process the sight of
us wrapped up together in affection. Henri put me back down into my
chair, his hands running up the torso of my dress as he let me go.
He pointed at the fabric wordlessly, his eyes roaming over his
creation, and I smiled.
“
Did you tell Kit where we’re going?” Bickerstaff asked,
perching himself on the corner of the sofa opposite us. We both
nodded. The doctor’s big blue eyes found mine. “We’re going to be
with the 7
th
Armoured Division, that’s tanks and
things.”
“
Exciting eh?” Henri asked, taking hold of my hand. Dangerous
more like. I could tell Bickerstaff was sharing my opinion. Henri
turned his head to the doctor eagerly. “Will we be on the ground or
might they teach us how to drive the tanks?”
“
You’ll go wherever they think you’re best suited,”
Bickerstaff replied without a chance of a smile, “I’ll be on the
ground, though. I have to be.”
that same defeated tone hiding in the shadow of his words. When he
said on the ground, he didn’t just mean on foot. I wanted to
comfort him, to tell him some great lie that would give him the
same eager spirit that Henri had, as though spirit might just be
enough to get them through the hell they were headed for, but
anything I might have said was lost when the door to the room
opened again.
“
I’ll bring the old truck round to get you lads to the
station,” said Idrys, stopping to give me a cheer-up kind of smile,
“You just come out when you’re ready, right?”
nodded and the old farmer disappeared from the door, he was
replaced by Blod with Ness held against her hip. The little girl
looked strangely nervous as Blod brought her in and shut the door.
Blod lifted her up a bit and gave her a squeeze.
“
Right now,” she said gently, her eyes travelling instantly to
Bickerstaff, “You’ve got to say goodbye to the boys, see? They’re
going to bash the Germans.”
fist with her tiny hand and punched the air in front of her slowly.
Blod took her first to Henri and passed her over, but as soon as
she was in his arms she became the rowdy, wriggling mess that she
always was for him. She punched him in the cheek gently and he said
‘Ow’ in a high pitch squeak that made her laugh.
“
Give him a kiss and cuddle and wish him good luck,” Blod
pressed.
a tiny, shy kiss on Henri’s face and mumbled something against his
ear as he squeezed her up tight. He wore a grateful smile as he
handed the wriggling infant back to Blod, returning to sit beside
me and hold my hand. I wondered if we ought to have excused
ourselves before the next part of the farewell, but Blod and
Bickerstaff were far too preoccupied with their daughter to notice
either of us watching. When the doctor took his little girl into
his arms she fell into that familiar calm state, watching his face
with interest. Bickerstaff watched her for so long that Ness got a
little bored and took hold of his face with her hands, poking him
in the nose.
“
Pob lwc,” she said happily.
grinned confusedly. “Welsh?” he asked Blod. She just nodded, her
eyes shining a little. “Give us a cuddle then,” he said.
Ness wrapped
her tiny arms around his head as Bickerstaff swung her to and fro
tightly. He closed his eyes against her little mop of tawny hair,
not too far from his own blonde shade, and then gently kissed the
side of her head. Henri and I wore the same warm smile at the sight
of them together, but I wondered if underneath it Henri was as
worried as I was that this man might not ever see his daughter
again. When Bickerstaff finally released Ness he gave her straight
back to Blod, trying to keep his eyes off her smiling face.
“
Good girl,” Blod said quietly.
doctor one long, sad look that he returned, then swiftly took
herself out of the room. Bickerstaff started to speak, but then
coughed loudly and violently for a few moments against the wall.
When he spoke again his voice was lower and gruff.
“
We ought to be going soon Henri; that train won’t wait for
us.”
his beautiful brass coloured watch and from this close I could read
the name ‘A.P. Haugen’ on its side. His father’s watch, most
likely. Something dark came over his young features as he looked
into the clockface.
“
We have ages yet,” he protested. His other hand clamped tight
around mine.
sat down again and rubbed his face. He was pink in the cheeks and I
was pretty sure he didn’t want to get to the station any faster
than Henri; he just needed to get away from what he was leaving
behind at Ty Gwyn.
“
Did you say goodbye to Mam and Leigh?” I asked
Henri.
smiling again, but something deeper had settled behind his happy
eyes. “She’s getting him ready for school,” he explained, “but I
think my uniform upset her.”
“
I’ll bet she crushed your bones all the same,” I answered,
trying to chuckle.
“
Oh yeah,” Henri replied, “I’ll go to training with bruised
ribs now.”
give him some bruised ribs of my own, but it was awkward with
Bickerstaff still in the room. I rather thought he was sensing that
himself when he rose from his perch and made a start towards the
door, but he’d hardly reached the handle when it swung open at him
again. The doctor leapt back in shock as a flurry of tears and
flowing blonde hair rushed back into the room and accosted him.
Blod wrapped her arms around Bickerstaff tightly and started
kissing him before we’d even had the chance to look away. It all
happened so quickly that I saw his hands rushing up into her hair
before I even registered that I shouldn’t be watching.
I looked at
Henri who was also watching-but-not-watching the sudden outburst of
affection. He gave me an awkward smile, his gaze fixing on mine
thoughtfully as the half-grin fell away. Bickerstaff’s lungs heaved
when Blod finally released him from her marathon kiss, but before
he could get breath to speak she was stepping away out of his arms.
Her mouth was open a little, her bright eyes streaming with tears
as she turned and suddenly ran away. Bickerstaff gave us both a
fleeting, red-faced look, and then went after her with haste.
As soon as he
was gone Henri picked me up out of my chair and took me over to the
sofa, setting me down before he knelt on the floor in front of me.
He put his smooth hands on my knees, feeling the fabric of the navy
dress, staring at it thoughtfully. When he finally looked up at me
again his face was serious, the kind of looks he’d worn when I
first met him.
“
You’ll wear this again the day I come home,” he said,
“Promise me.”
“
Promise,” I answered, “Even if I’m ninety six.”
smiled, leaning up towards me, pulling my arms close to wrap them
around his neck. I tucked my legs under the sofa to bring him
closer still until our noses were touching.
“
I thought you were saving this kiss for… after?”
“
I’ve changed my mind.”
deep and sweet, warm lips and steady breaths as he squeezed me
close to him. It felt like someone had released a flock of birds
into my chest; every part of me trembled and fluttered as I firmly
decided that this was the best feeling of my life. Until I
remembered Henri’s claim the week before, that he didn’t need to
kiss me yet because he had faith that he’d be coming home. If he’d
changed his mind about kissing me, had he changed his mind about
his chances of returning too? I thought he must have felt my
hesitation when he broke our kisses, searching my face desperately
like he wanted to recall every freckle.
“
I’ll be with you,” I promised, “I’ll be right there to talk
to you, to help you through everything.”
“
I know,” he nodded breathlessly.
suddenly; I could see it in the widening of his eyes, the way his
hands were quivering where they held my waist. I stroked his dark
hair down from its usual sticky-out mess.
“
You’re going to be fine,” I soothed, sucking in a deep
breath, “You’ll get through it, just like everything else so
far.”
“
With your help,” he added quickly, his lips
trembling.
“
With my help.”
to me and kissed him again; trying to kiss away every frightening
thought that was rushing through his head. We stayed wrapped in
each other’s arms until Idrys came back to drag him away. I
followed him out to the car in the fastest crutch-walk I’d ever
done. Bickerstaff was sitting in the back of the truck with his
head in his hands and Blod was nowhere to be seen. Henri got in
beside the doctor and waved to me as the farm truck set off down
the cobbles. I waved long after he’d gone out of focus, so hard
that my arm burned with the effort for days after he’d gone.
spoke to anyone for three full days after Henri and Bickerstaff had
left for training. The only person permitted to enter her
radio-filled room was Ness Fach and even she was unceremoniously
kicked out after about half an hour at a time. I made the strenuous
walk up the steep stairs to try and show Blod that I wanted her to
talk things out with me about Bickerstaff, but all I got for my
gargantuan effort was a door slammed in my face. The only upside
was that her tantrum had forced Mam back into her proper role
running Ty Gwyn, which resulted in a lot less crying as she
redirected her emotions into producing a new series of ‘rationing
recipe’ cakes and biscuits recommended by some of the other ladies
at the chapel. They tasted foul, but Leigh and I praised her
efforts all the same.
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