Authors: K.C. Finn
Tags: #young adult, #historical, #wwii, #historical romance, #ww2, #ya, #europe, #telepathic, #clean teen publishing, #kc finn
The Mind's Eye (23 page)
“
I’ve been to billeting office today, I took the liberty of
picking this up for you,” he explained, his tone worryingly
dark.
letter had already been opened, but I heard Henri ripping the seal
from his. He came to sit beside me as he started to read it.
“
It’s my call up,” he said, and for all his bravery there was
something hollow in his words.
“
Already?” I exclaimed, my mouth suddenly dry,
“But…”
“
The training doesn’t start until October
1
st
,
you’ve got some time yet,” Bickerstaff said in what passed for a
soothing voice.
at the other letter again, then back at his empty face.
“
You’re going too, aren’t you?” I asked.
nodded, his eyes flickering away.
“
We’d better get on with your assessment,” he said
flatly.
still studying his letter. “I’m going to read this properly
outside, if you don’t need me?”
I shook my
head, trying desperately to hide my sadness. October was almost six
weeks away, there was still time for the war to end, for Henri to
no longer be needed to fight. I watched him go, my breathing
growing heavier, until I realised that Bickerstaff had rounded his
desk ready to examine my walking. Ness Fach watched him as she
sucked on her lolly, her huge eyes travelling over his face with
the same keen interest she reserved for clouds and farm
animals.
“
She likes you,” I said, smiling at Ness.
“
Don’t,” Bickerstaff snapped, his stern exterior returning in
full force.
myself up on my crutches without a lick of help from him, my lip
curling irately.
“
You could at least be grateful,” I bit back, “I didn’t have
to bring her, she’s been a right handful today.”
“
It’s not that,” he whispered, turning his face away from both
of us, “I just don’t want her to get too attached; not now I’ve had
the call.”
understand. It was a bad do to be sent out to battle, I knew that,
and dangerous too, but nothing was a certainty any more.
“
It’s not like you’re going to prison,” I supposed as I
started to walk towards him, “You’ll come back.”
reached him, Bickerstaff looked deep into my eyes with that
soulless sadness I remembered from my first accidental trip to his
head.
“
Henri’s a strong boy,” he began, again in a whisper, “he’ll
do all right. But there’s a very good reason they’re calling on
more medics.” He gulped with a painfully dry throat, the sound was
strained, it made me want to cry again. “It’s because they’re the
first to go.”
head ferociously. I wanted to grab him to make him see sense, but
the crutches were always in the way.
“
You don’t know that,” I protested.
“
Yes I do,” he answered through gritted teeth.
let out the deepest breath I’d ever heard, his propriety falling
away to leave just the face of a young man. He gave me a hopeless
look.
“
I have every certainty that I will die out there, Kit. You’ll
see me proved right before Christmas. Your walking is rather
excellent, by the way. It’s just as well that you don’t need me
anymore.”
first praise he’d ever given me, and now it seemed that it would
also be the last.
tell anyone what Bickerstaff had said in case it got back to Henri.
He was building his muscles up every day under our tree, pulling
his full weight up to his chest where he hung from a very thick
branch. He was so confident that he would do well at training and
that he’d be able to go anywhere and do anything the British Army
asked of him. I couldn’t bear the idea that Bickerstaff felt so
opposite about his chances. Whilst I prayed every night for Henri’s
safety, now I also spared a thought for the doctor I’d hated for so
long, hoping that perhaps somehow he would be stationed on our side
of the water and not thrown right into the field.
Now that October 1
st
would see Henri taken away
from me the days seemed to rush by all the quicker. The summer
leaves started to turn their auburn and golden hues and when the
first cool breeze of autumn crept into my bedroom one morning there
was little I could do but force the worries as far out of my mind
as I could manage. Luckily I wasn’t left to think about them for
long as a familiar sound travelled down through my ceiling whilst I
took off my splints. Mam.
crying this morning. She wasn’t always crying now, but she had only
been out of her bedroom twice since the funeral, so I had hardly
seen her face in the last four weeks. Blod said she couldn’t bear
to face a world that didn’t have Clive in it. I understood that
fairly well, but it was hell to think that Mam would never step out
of her home again and I was sure that wasn’t something Clive would
have wanted for his wife. If he’d been here to have his say he’d
have marched her downstairs at a pace and wrapped his mighty arms
around her. Idrys had already tried to do the same, but even he had
given up and decided that his only daughter needed ‘her own time’
to work things out.
That morning
saw me in one of my determined moods. I was feeling strong, so I
managed to wash and dress by myself before Blod or Leigh came to
find me, then I took off on my crutches to the foot of the steep
black stairs that led to the other floor of Ty Gwyn. I had seen
what it all looked like by being in the minds of other people, but
now I decided it was time to see it for myself. Each movement of
the crutch left a clunk on the stone and the old burning agony
returned to my arms and legs as I made it up each step, but I made
it halfway up before I would even concede to stopping to catch my
breath. My ascent was neither smooth nor silent, however, so by the
time I was two steps off the top both Henri and Blod had woken up
and come to see what the noise was.
“
What’re you doing, you mad thing?” Blod accused in a
whisper.
“
I want to see Mam,” I urged breathlessly.
grinning at me as he straightened out his stripy pyjamas. He held
out his arms like he’d promised he would all those weeks ago.
“
Come on Kit, you can do it,” he beamed.
a sigh. “If you fall down them stairs I’m not patching you up.” She
glided past me, already dressed in Mam’s apron to start on
breakfast, but I caught her smiling a little as she went.
When I
reached the top Henri scooped me up into his arms and my crutches
dropped with a clatter on the landing. I felt his just-out-of-bed
warmth spreading through my aching limbs and he held me tight to
keep me standing as I leant on his chest for support. He was
grinning at me like a Cheshire cat and he suddenly buried his face
against my neck and let out a little laugh.
“
You’re so brilliant,” he murmured, “You surprise me all the
time.”
“
Oi!” whispered a voice nearby. Idrys’s sleepy, bearded face
was poking out of Thomas’s room. “Just because you can get up the
stairs, it doesn’t mean you can sneak around to see your boyfriend,
young lady.”
face flush crimson. My boyfriend. I bet that’s what they were all
calling him when we weren’t around. Henri held onto me with one
strong arm whilst he retrieved my crutches.
“
I came to see Mam actually,” I explained with a little smile,
getting back on my own two feet as Henri slid the rests under my
arms.
“
Make sure she gets back down safe,” Idrys warned Henri,
giving us both a roll of his tired eyes.
was left at Mam’s door, listening to her quiet sobs. Henri retired
to get dressed as I pushed open the door gently. It felt invasive,
like I shouldn’t be there, but I had come too far to turn back. The
bedroom she and Clive had shared was a tribute to their lives.
Photographs of all their children littered every surface, with
Clive and his boys in their RAF uniforms taking pride of place on
the wall above the fireplace. Right beside the bed was an ornate
frame with a wedding photo inside it. Mam had never been quite as
beautiful as Blod, but her young round face was a picture of
perfect happiness where she stood in her white dress beside her
man.
Now she was
curled under her covers with her back to me. I knew she’d heard me
come in because her sobs had stopped. She reached for a hanky and
took it under the covers to find her face, then waved a hand at me
without turning over.
“
I don’t want no breakfast Blod, you just see to the others,
don’t worry about me.”
“
It’s not Blod,” I said gently, “It’s me Mam.”
“
Kit?”
then and sat up in her bed, looking me over with sore red eyes. Her
hands rose up to her mouth wordlessly as I stumbled to her and sat
down on the edge of her bed, my chest heaving with exhaustion. She
reached out and touched my shoulder, like she wasn’t sure that I
was really there. Then she shook the whole bed as she shuffled
towards me and threw a strong arm around my head, pulling me in
against her chest. I had always been protected by my chair from
Mam’s full-on assault hugs, but secretly I’d always wanted one, no
matter how much it hurt. It took ages before she released me and I
felt a cold shiver all over me as I was set free from her
warmth.
“
You came all the way up yur for me,” she sobbed.
“
I miss you,” I said, trying my best to smile.
off crying again for a few minutes, so I rubbed her shoulder gently
until she was ready to speak again. Mam pushed herself out of her
covers and hung her legs over the edge of the bed to sit beside me,
catching sight of the lovely wedding picture for a moment. There
were all kinds of things I could have said to her, but I thought
that everybody had probably said them already, so instead I just
held her hand in the dark little room.
“
I’ve missed you too, love,” she whispered. The sing-song lilt
in her voice was not gone, just replaced by a more sombre
melody.
“
Do you feel like helping me back down to breakfast?” I asked
with an eager smile.
face looked older than I remembered, but when she returned my smile
I could see traces of the rosy youth she’d had when we were first
introduced.
“
Ie, all right then,” she replied, unleashing a mighty sigh,
“I suppose it’s time I took a look at the damage Blod’s done to my
kitchen eh?”
well that Blod had been keeping her mother’s kitchen pristine since
the day of the funeral, but I said nothing, enjoying the idea that
Mam would find that out for herself soon enough.
***
Life was
slowly returning to normal at Ty Gwyn as September rolled in, but
even though Mam was up and about Idrys was reluctant to return to
his own cottage. She was leaning on him and Blod a lot more now to
cope with the duties of running the home and her emotions were
fragile at best. When Henri broke the news to her that he and
Steven Bickerstaff were both due to leave for basic training in
three weeks’ time she went back to her room and cried an afternoon
away, leaving Blod to scrub the lunch dishes, her own tears falling
into the soapy sink. I hadn’t seen the doctor in ages, since our
conversation over the call-up he had even stopped coming to chapel.
I pleaded with Blod to telephone him at least, but her will was as
rottenly stubborn as his on the matter.
My fears for
him and Henri were overtaken one day when Idrys burst through the
back door of Ty Gwyn and hurriedly wheeled me off to the sitting
room without so much as a word of explanation. Henri followed us in
carrying a newspaper and when we were alone and the door was closed
he thrust the paper into my lap. I stared down at the front page,
my eyes first catching a picture of a whole row of houses on fire.
I struggled to refocus on the headline: LONDON BLITZED BY JERRY
BOMBS.
Idrys
crouched in front of me and grabbed my shoulders. “It’s happening
day and night love,” he pressed, “Use your mind and find your
mother, make sure she’s all right.”
My heart
threatened to batter its way out of my chest as I nodded too many
times. Idrys and Henri sat themselves down on the sofa whilst I
took a few deep breaths, trying desperately to gather my thoughts.
In her letters Mum had told us that there were special shelters all
over the city now in case of these attacks and that she’d be able
to hide in the London Underground stations if the threat of bombs
ever became a reality. I wondered sadly what Clive had really died
for, why we had beaten them back once just for them to regroup and
start destroying us again. I tried to push the anger aside as I
raised my hands up over my eyes, shutting them tightly against the
afternoon sun.