The Milch Bride (15 page)

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Jackson was disappointed to find the preacher still in the
sitting room, his hand on the open Bible.

“Is Mrs. Harper all right?”

Jackson nodded, “She just didn’t get around to eating today,
got a little light headed.”

“I took the liberty of opening to the family page here. I thought
you might like me to sign it, too.”

Jackson stared at the gold trimmed page, with its list for
marriages, births and deaths. Beneath his parents’ names, with their wedding
date, were his and Donna’s names and the date of their marriage.

He noted that all the entries for his parents, the birth of
their children, their deaths were complete. He felt a wave of sadness when he
realized it was true for Donna as well, date of marriage, birth of child, and
death. Would he always feel a little guilty that it wasn’t over for him?

Seriously he took the pen the preacher offered, filled in
names and date of marriage, and then turned it for the preacher’s signature.
Now, maybe the man would leave without another sermon.

His pastor didn’t disappoint him. “I know you may still feel
resentful, the decision being taken from you. But a man needs a wife and a boy
needs a mother.”

Jackson stared at him hard. “Don’t you have other people you
can visit and set straight?”

The pastor stared at him. “It’s customary for the groom to
offer a token, beyond gratitude, to the man who marries him.”

Jackson laughed. “Well, when a man asks for a preacher,
maybe so. But you could walk around meddling all over town, working up business.
No, I figure your reward is in the satisfaction of doing a good deed. I’ll let
you know when I feel it’s worthy of some other token.”

The pastor eyed him coldly, then put his hat on his head and
stormed out.

James stood at the dining table with a plate of scrambled
eggs and a small plate of potato salad. “Them church vultures didn’t ask for no
invite to supper neither, hardly left a bite for your new missus.”

“Thanks, James, I’ll carry it in. Do we have any milk left?”

“Sure, sure.”

A minute later Jackson turned the knob and smiled as he held
the food and stared at the lovely vision inside. Hattie was half-asleep, the
breeze blowing the lace curtains on both windows, stirring her loose blonde
hair around her shoulders. She had one brown hand curved under the baby’s bare
bottom; an arm curved around his back holding him to her beautiful naked
breast, the skin snow white against his rosy cheeks. Her small white feet and
slender ankles were brazenly bare to his gaze, as were her firm white arms and
shoulders.

Whenever he watched her working, he was always aware of how
slim and graceful she was yet how supple and strong. But sprawled, half asleep
with the baby at her breast, he realized how perfectly formed she was and how
desirable.

Quietly he crossed the room and set the plate and glass of
milk on the dresser. Before when he had caught glimpses of her feeding the baby
she had blushed and hurriedly hidden herself. Now he was aware of her watching
him through lowered lashes. Shocked, he watched as she flung an arm above her
head on the pillow, the white of her underarm vivid against the brown of her
burnished face. He felt a heavy wave of desire.

Drawn irresistibly, he sank down on the edge of the bed,
leaned forward kissing first the underside of her arm and as she turned to face
him, he leaned down more and softly kissed her mouth, breathing deeply to
control the urge to kiss her deeper. Using all his control, he raised up and
smiled at her.

“You need to eat. I’ll see you both later,” but before he
could rise she shocked him more.

Using the white arm he had just kissed, she reached up a
brown hand and pulled his face back down. “Thank you.”  Very softly she kissed
his cheek and leaned her forehead against his.

All afternoon as he supervised the men and helped finish the
chicken coop, he remembered her gentle touch and soft kiss. He wondered why she
thanked him. The food, cleaning the baby, the wedding, the kiss? The
possibilities in each answer tormented him.

At dusk of the hot day, the men walked on down to the creek
and bathed in the deep pool, splashing and joking. All gave him a hard time
about the night stretching before him. He let it go on a few minutes before
raising a hand.

“It’s not that kind of night. Preacher kind of got ahead of
his place and we are married, but we’ve got a lot of things to work through
before the marriage part really gets started. Not that it’s any of your
business – but I don’t want you teasing my wife with all this nonsense, the way
you’ve been riding me.”

Cliff stared at him, and then looked as disappointed as
Jackson felt. “Real sorry it ain’t boss, real sorry. She’s a sweet, pretty girl.
Never did believe that nonsense we heard in town. Never did.”

All the men nodded and Jackson went cold. It went without
saying that a woman who’d had a baby wasn’t an inexperienced virgin. But hadn’t
he believed the gossip when he heard it? Harriet Stoddard wouldn’t be the first
woman known to have fancied the boys and enjoyed sex too much, only to end up
in disgrace. Thelma’s place was full of good-time girls.

Even his Donna hadn’t been a virgin. She was plain spoken
and clear about what she wanted from him. But when she became pregnant and
they’d married, they found ways to make it work. He had been proud of his wife
and they had a loving relationship and a happy home together.

He wanted the same with Hattie. Then he shook his head. He
would need to know, to understand before they could build a relationship. For
now, it was enough to give her the protection of his name and provide J.D. with
more than breast milk. Hattie loved that boy and he loved her. She was the only
mother he knew. When he started talking, he wanted J.D. to call her momma. He
didn’t doubt she loved the child and he loved her in return. What he wasn’t
sure of, was if there was room in her heart for him? Would her fear of men ever
allow them any relationship more than what they had now?

He was one of the last to leave the pool, waiting until the
cool water cooled down the ardor he felt every time he imagined sharing her bed.
Dressed, he followed the men to the house, watched as the chickens fussed their
way into the coop, establishing pecking order and choosing roosts. Hattie would
love it when she saw it tomorrow. He felt surprised at how much it mattered to
him, what his new wife thought or wanted.

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Hattie and J.D. dozed through the warm afternoon until his
accident woke them. She quickly diapered the baby and put him in the crib while
she drank the remaining water in the pitcher, and then asked James to bring her
a pail of water. The air coming through the windows was cold and she removed
the window jambs to close both windows. The trouble with Texas nights was the
drop in temperature by as much as twenty degrees.

When the water came, she lit the lamp, quickly stripped and
took a sponge bath by using a bar of soap and basin of the cold water. It was
hard not to miss Rubye and the luxury of a hot tub bath in the pantry. By the
time she finished, she could hear the men entering the dining room. Quickly
dressing in a gown and wrapper, she moved the dirty clothes and bedding to the
corner of the room. Gently she slipped a soft gown on the still sleepy baby,
and made up the bed in clean sheets and quilt.

It was Jackson who brought her a bowl of chili, taking the
restless and playful J.D. out with him. She could hear the men, laughing and
playing with him as they fed him crumbled cornmeal in a glass of buttermilk. She
had tried it once before, and he had made such a terrible face, she laughed to
think of it and hadn’t tried it again. Apparently, everyone wanted to see the
face for themselves and from the sound of things, J.D. was eating the mess this
time.

Hattie sat at the dresser, braiding her hair and worrying
her lower lip. Despite their agreement, would Jackson wait to claim his rights?
She could hear the words from this morning, he intended to return to his bed
once they wed. Nervously she paced the room, full of pent up energy. Finally,
she sat on the edge of the bed, updating her diary on J.D.’s progress. She
included the new tooth, the cowboys playing with him and his eating cornmeal
mush. She hesitated, and then added the fact that Jackson and she were married;
now she was his mother.

She put the diary and pen up and picked up Dr. Padgett’s
book, eager to discover how old J.D. would be when he could call her momma. Pulling
back the quilt and sheets, she slid into the bed, propped up with the pillow to
read.

By the time Jackson and the boy entered, she had discarded
the book and was making mental lists of chores for the next day. On the list
was laundry, it had been two days since she had last done laundry and it was
piling up. With a baby, one needed to wash something every day. At the end of
the list was to try and make a cowboy doll. She had seen a beautiful china doll
last week at the Thompson’s store, with a lovely dress and old-fashioned
pantalets. She wanted to make a doll for a little boy, with a lace-up vest and
pull-on pants.

“Who’s that, J.D.? Is that Momma?”

At the words Hattie held out her arms to the baby, tears
pooling in her eyes. Donna was his momma, but now she was his momma too. Instead
of crying she managed to say, “He won’t be able to say it for another five or
six months.”

She gave the excited baby a big hug, and then sat him back
against the pillows. He promptly rolled over and laughing she sat him back up.
“Yeah, you can roll over, can’t you Jackie.” He cooed back at her and Hattie
laughed and gave him a kiss.

Jackson watched for a minute, then without hesitating, began
to remove his shirt. “Scoot on over you two – this is my side of the bed.”

Alarmed, Hattie scooted over and lifted J.D. up.

“Do you need to get, get your clothes, so you’ll have things
to wear in the morning?”

He stared at her and she saw the little twitch in his jaw,
the one that told her how he resented being bossed. But instead of yelling at
her, he nodded.

“Good idea. I need to get it all, since I’m moving back in. Will
there be room in the dresser for my stuff?”

“I have my things in one drawer, I’ll get them out.”

“Right, and add them to the wardrobe.”

“But the wardrobe has Donna’s things in it.”

“They’re all your things now.”

Hattie put J. D. in the crib. He was so roly-poly, she never
left him on the bed alone. She knew he would fuss if she left him lying down,
so she stood him up, holding onto the crib side. He pulled against the rails
and squealed in excitement as it made a rattling noise.

Jackson brought in the laundry basket and emptied the clean
clothes, mostly unfolded onto the bed. “Grabbed these for you.”

“Thanks.” Hattie smiled at his retreating back. Now the bed
was covered with what she’d taken out of the dresser and the new clothes.

She opened the wardrobe and each of the dresser drawers on
the left. Slowly she added her coarse cotton drawers and chemises to Donna’s
silky, embroidered ones. She hung her black blouse and skirt on a padded
hanger, amid the brightly colored and ruffled clothes. When she’d finished, she
quickly folded the new clothes, mostly underwear and denim jeans, and hurriedly
stowed them away in the dresser before he returned.

She heard raised voices in the hall. Stealthily, she cracked
the door to listen.

“Reckon if that’s how you feel, I’ll just move back to the
bunkhouse.”

“James, you know there’s no reason for you to do that, but
suit yourself.”

“I think you need to let me go get Rubye, now her objections
have been taken care of.”

“No. She’s the one who left. Let her ask us if she wants to
come back. Hattie may not want her back, after the harsh things she had to say.
Besides, between the two of you, the work all seems to be getting done.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t sign on to be cook and bottle washer. I’d
rather wrangle cows.”

Jackson gave him a hard look, “Yes, you did.”

James ducked his head as though he’d hit him.

Hattie closed the door quietly, embarrassed to see James
yield. She’d learned more than enough. Not only was Jackson going to sleep in
her bed, but they would be alone in the house.

Gratefully, she stared at J.D. “Stay awake, will you
partner.”

It was several minutes before Jackson came in, this time
carrying another laundry basket and a set of saddlebags as well as an armful of
shirts on hangers. He handed Hattie the hangers and nodded toward the wardrobe.
She sprang to her feet and squeezed them in among the ruffled clothes.

She watched as he unloaded the saddlebags, setting his
shaving mug/soap and razor blade beside the washbowl and pitcher.

For the first time she absorbed the fact that he was always
clean shaven. She also noted the dark hair, curling a little long on his neck. She
had always assumed J.D. had his mother’s coloring, but she realized that both
his parents had the same dark brown hair and blue eyes. When he turned toward
her, she felt her mouth grow dry as he again removed his shirt, this time his
eyes locked on hers.

“Where is your sleep shirt?”she croaked.

Jackson hung the shirt on the post, and then reached for the
top button of his Levis.

“I don’t wear one.”

As he unbuttoned the second button, she realized he wasn’t
wearing long johns either. Panicked, she scooted across the bed and backed up
against the wardrobe.

“You promised…”

“I plan on keeping it. It might help you a lot if you could
turn your head while I get undressed and into bed.”

Hattie turned around and stared down at her bare feet
peeking from under the edge of the gown. She commanded her eyes to behave, but
even terrified, she wanted to look at him. From his handsome face to the heavy
muscles in his arms and bare chest, he was beautiful. She shivered from the
effort.

Staring at his bride, Jackson tried not to laugh. The small
figure in the big gown made him think of a startled rabbit. Frozen and
quivering in the mistake that standing still would render her invisible.

He flipped back the comforter, settled in, grinning at J.D.,
who was watching both with complete fascination. When Jackson grinned, the baby
laughed. “It’s safe,” he called, and Hattie moved gingerly to the bed, barely
lifting the covers to slip inside. She lay back rigidly, her eyes focused on
the ceiling, her hands folded on the edge of the cover.

He hesitated, and then smiled. “Ready for me to blow out the
light?”

She gripped the edge of the quilt tightly, pulling it up
under her chin, then nodded.

Jackson rolled to sit up and blew out the lamp. There was complete
darkness and quiet for a minute, and then J.D. let out an ear-piercing scream.

Jackson hauled him out of his crib as Hattie sat forward. He
tucked the baby against him and for a moment, J.D. was happy, just feeling his
naked chest and shoulders.

Hattie lay back, relaxing for the moment, glad that J.D. lay
between them. She relaxed even more as she heard Jackson crooning to the baby,
nuzzling the soft curls on his head and along his neck. J.D. was thrilled,
grabbing at hair and nose, trying to hold onto his daddy in every possible way.
It was several minutes before he began his downward squirm, searching for a
full breast and milk.

“Ouch,” Jackson called out and Hattie laughed.

J.D. made a little whine of protest and Hattie rolled onto
her side to take the fussy baby. Jackson rolled on his side to face her as she
slipped the gown off her shoulder in the dark room and began to nurse the baby.

“Does he bite you?” It was the same question that had
embarrassed them the other night in front of the men. This time she surprised
him with her quick answer.

“He’s only tried a couple of times; he’s usually too busy
nursing.”

He extended a hand to play with the soft curls of brown hair
on the sweet smelling head and J.D. batted him away. When he touched him again,
the baby latched onto the brown hand and pulled it lower. Jackson lay, smiling,
totally relaxed and happy. At the end of his knuckles he could feel the cotton
of the gown, a soft thin barrier between his fingers and her warm skin. Slowly
he let his eyes close, lulled by the rhythmic sounds of suckling and relaxed
breathing.

He came awake quicker than he went to sleep. A growing
warmth against his leg let him know he was not alone on his cot in the study or
on Rubye’s hard bed in the narrow room at the end of the house. He opened his
eyes to see his beautiful son still asleep, his little mouth pursed and making
sucking motions at the air. Hattie had rolled over on her back and her open
gown revealed the vee of her breastbone, not the breasts he had hoped to glimpse.
The even rise of her chest let him know she was asleep – but he figured there
were only minutes before the cooling diaper would wake J.D. who would wake her.
He wondered if he could reach a diaper and change him first, then decided it
would be easier to just remove the one he wore. Slowly he went to work, tugging
the soggy diaper off and dropping it in the pail beside the bed.

Amazingly, they both remained asleep. Later, he awakened
again, this time when he heard the young rooster proudly saluting the morning
with one final cock-a-doodle do. Hattie opened her eyes and J.D. made a little
face and gave a single high-pitched wail.

Instead of rolling toward him, Hattie lifted the sleepy
baby, kissed his face, and then rolled so her back was to Jackson before moving
her gown enough to let the baby nurse.