The Milch Bride (14 page)

They heard a wagon pull into the yard. Hattie started to
pull away, but he held her closer, confused about what he was feeling, just
knowing he didn’t want to release her until she stopped crying.

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“My word, it’s worse than she said.”

Hattie pushed against the rock hard chest, though she wanted
nothing more than to sit and feel safe a little longer.

She lifted her apron and wiped her eyes, blew her nose. In
horror, she looked out from where she sat to see her preacher and two of the
deacons. They were staring at her like she was some kind of monster. She
realized her petticoat was flipped up and her ankles were exposed, worse, she
was sitting in a man’s lap in plain sight. Together, they were holding a nearly
naked baby.

From the thunderous look in her pastor’s eyes, Hattie
wondered how much worse things could get. She rose shakily, holding the baby in
her arms, trying to keep him from wiggling down to her breasts.

“Brother Harper,” the preacher thundered. “You must put this
woman out of your home at once. You are offending God and the people of this
community with your sinful ways.”

Jackson stood up, prepared to argue, but Hattie moved behind
him and he felt a compelling urge to protect her from their thunderous
condemnation. “Never, my son needs her.”

“If you are not going to put her out, then you must marry
her,” the preacher stated. Both deacons shouted agreement.

“A man cannot have a woman sleeping alone in his house,
unless they are married.”

“She’s not alone in the house with me. James Boyd sleeps in
the house too.”

The deacons shook their heads and the preacher again spoke
for them all. “Sleeping with two men is not better than sleeping with one.”

“We’ve done nothing wrong. There’s no reason for us to get
married. If people want to talk, let them talk. I’ll marry again, when I feel
there’s a need, not when a bunch of busybodies order me to.”

Hattie turned, crying so hard, she could barely find the
door handle. She managed to reach the bedroom, tumbling onto the bed with the
crying baby. Minutes later, she was lying there nursing him.

She couldn’t stop crying. He didn’t want to marry her. Why
did his saying those words, hurt so much? She felt like the world had ended. J.
D. patted her face and whimpered and she leaned down to kiss him, raised him to
hug close, and then changed breasts to continue feeding him.

The reason she realized was obvious. She loved him. But
clearly he didn’t love her.

There was a knock on the door. “Miss Stoddard?”

Hattie stirred; surprised she had fallen asleep beside the
baby. How had all her wretchedness changed into slumber?

“Just a few minutes, please?”

It was ten minutes before Hattie opened the door. J.D. was
asleep in the crib, once more properly gowned. She had cleaned her face and
changed from the sweat soaked blouse to a fresh unstained one. Her hair was
once again neatly combed and pinned. Except for the pink puffiness of her eyes,
she felt almost presentable.

She opened the door and Pastor Goodwin stepped inside,
cautiously leaving the door half open. “Miss Stoddard, we’re waiting on you
outside.”

Hattie turned with a frown, “What are you saying?”

“Mr. Harper is ready to do the right thing. He has agreed to
marry you.”

“Really, how noble of him. What makes you think I’m willing
to marry him?”

“My dear girl, if you are ever to regain any shred of
respectability, this is your only choice.”

“And what, Pastor Goodwin, would a woman of my reported
morals, care about respectability and community opinion?” Hattie stiffened her
spine and put her hands on her hips, trying to look like a woman of ill repute.

Pastor Goodwin stepped around her and stared down at the
baby.

Hattie moved protectively to stand closer to the baby, in
case this pompous fool should start insulting Donna’s baby, the way he had her.

His soft voice shocked her. “My dear, if you don’t marry
him, you’ll have no choice but to leave.” He opened his arms wide, his hand and
open palm above the boy. “Can you leave this beautiful baby?”

“He won’t ask me to leave. He knows J.D. needs me.”

“Maybe not now; but when the boy is weaned, when the year is
up, will you be able to go back to your ranch – alone?”

Hattie swallowed, involuntarily reaching over the side of
the crib to grasp the small hand, the one that had patted her so lovingly while
she cried.

In his sleep, J.D. clamped on her fingers and it might as
well have been her heart.

Hattie raised her glance toward the preacher and saw Jackson
standing in the doorway, staring at her.

“Excuse us pastor, we need to talk.”

The pastor stepped to the door, and Jackson pulled it closed
behind him.

Hattie raised her head. “I know you don’t want to marry me. I
don’t want to trap you. If you were there long enough, you know I’m used to
being ‘a woman-of-ill-repute.’ It’s not your responsibility to salvage my
reputation.”

Jackson stared at the girl, eyes glittery from hurt pride. She
was so young, so fierce. Holding her gaze, he crossed the room to stand in
front of her.

“Shh. It wasn’t you I wanted to reject. I just don’t appreciate
having someone tell me I have to do anything.”

She looked confused. “I don’t know what to say?”

“Hattie, I don’t know what the answer should be, but I know
everything the pastor said is true.” He stepped even closer, put a hand under
her chin and tilted her face up. “Donna made me promise to find someone. I know
it sounds strange, but sometimes I imagine what she would say, as though she’s
still here.”

Hattie nodded, “Yes, sometimes I feel her, sense what she
wants me to do.”

“She told me to go get you, to save J.D.”

Hattie was having trouble swallowing. “Marriage is forever,
it requires love. I don’t know if loving the same little boy is enough for
forever.”

“I don’t want a marriage in name only, Hattie. If you say
yes, I’m moving back into my bed.”

She backed up, her eyes suddenly filling with terror.

He stepped closer. “Don’t be afraid. I’ll never force you to
do anything you don’t want to do, ever.”

She tried to breathe, but couldn’t find the room.

He held out his hand. “Trust me, Hattie. Marry me and J.D.”

She was afraid, but she could feel a pair of hands pushing
her forward. She gave him a quivery smile. Then extended her hand to take his
and let herself be pulled toward the closed door.

When they came out, Hattie was surprised to see their three
visitors seated at the table. James was pouring tea for them and Cliff was
waiting at the door. Apparently there would be no need to put away leftovers.

James came over, drying his hands. “Cliff and I will be
witnesses. I’ll be mighty proud, to act in your father’s stead and give you
away, Miss Harriett.”

For just a moment, Hattie thought of protesting but at his
hopeful smile she nodded and curtsied. Everyone she knew was married in church,
her parents had been married there. It had been a long time since she had
thought of a church wedding for herself. But she wondered if one in a house
would be considered legal by people like the Dawsons. She giggled nervously. No
matter what they did, the Dawsons would not accept her as Jackson’s new wife.

Jackson stood stiff and straight, nervously he released her
hand, touched her elbow, and then touched her hand again.

Of course he had married Donna in church. She remembered the
elaborate ceremony, everyone in town present to watch the bride in her
beautiful bustled white satin gown and the handsome rancher in his new black
suit.

Now he was dusty from working on the chicken coop and porch,
and unlike her, he hadn’t changed. But she reminded herself, he had held his
nearly naked son in that dusty outfit. He had swept her into his arms and onto
his lap to comfort her when she cried. What did it matter if she wore her
mourning black and he was in dusty work clothes? Their witnesses, the deacons
and the cowhands, could testify to the marriage. The preacher would say the
usual words, the same as he would in church.

Perhaps the nerves knotting in her stomach would disappear
if she had a veil, or wore a white dress. Would her hands feel like ice if she
had a woman to fix her hair, friends to giggle and joke with while she waited
to walk down an aisle? Would her heart be happier if there were music and
dancing and a big feast waiting to celebrate the event?

No. A woman with no reputation did not deserve a white
dress, veil or a church wedding. She should be grateful that she would have a
husband, even if he was being forced into it. They had been accused of doing
things neither of them had done. What had he said, ‘he didn’t want to be told
he had to do something?’

She had no family or friends to celebrate with anyway. She
had had parents who loved her. Both were dead. This tall man and his son, they
would be her family from this day forward. For the first time, she felt joy at
the prospect.

James Boyd walked over toward her and she gratefully hooked
her arm over his elbow. One of the deacons moved the Bible table in front of
the fireplace and the preacher walked behind it.

Cliff said, “I guess I’m the best man, boss.”

Jackson looked as at sea as she felt, but he let the
red-headed cowboy herd him over toward the fireplace to stand to the left of
the preacher. The deacons rose and stood at the right.

James leaned toward her and whispered, “Guess they’re the
bridesmaids. “

Hattie giggled again, trying to control her shaking knees. She
gripped his arm tighter. There would be no organ music to tell them when to
begin.

James placed a hand on her arm, giving her a pat, just as
they heard a waking cry from J.D. “Let’s get down there, then I’ll go get the
baby.”

Somehow she managed to walk to her place in front of the
preacher and the tall slender oak table on which rested the Harper’s family
Bible. She shivered, icy fear sweeping down her spine.

Jackson turned woodenly to face her. If only he would look
directly at her, give her a smile. Was he remembering his first wedding, his
perfect marriage to Donna? There was still time. She could break and run, go
back to the family ranch, alone.

Suddenly she heard someone humming. She and Jackson glanced
back to watch James Boyd walking down the makeshift aisle, humming, then
singing the wedding march to the fussing baby. As he sang the baby quieted,
then raised his hands to smile, showing the tiny white tooth.

Jackson stepped closer and took her arm, smiling down at her
as she smiled up at him.

The preacher called them back to the moment as he asked. “Do
you Jackson Harper take this woman, to love, honor, and protect, in sickness
and in health, as long as you both shall live?”

She could only stare up in disbelief when he loudly said, “I
do.”

“Harriett Stoddard do you take this man, to love, honor and
obey, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?”

All she could feel was joy, deep, and compelling as she
softly whispered, “I do.”

“I now pronounce you man and wife. Whom God has joined
together, let no man put asunder. Amen.”

“Amen,” echoed the deacons, “amen” echoed the cowhands. Then
outside, she heard yet another wave of “Amens.”

J.D.’s squeal was the final amen.

She was married. She stared at Jackson, holding her breath,
waiting for a ring, a kiss, another word to release her.

He must have felt the same way. Slowly he reached out,
lifted one hand, then the other and pulled her closer.

Her head felt light as he leaned closer. As soon as she felt
his lips on hers her knees buckled, and she fainted.

Jackson felt her crumpling and swung her into his arms.

James Boyd was holding J.D., his gown bunched around his
waist, his face red in complaint. “That’s some kiss, make a gal swoon.”

“Water, somebody bring cold water to her room,” Jackson
barked.

He laid her on the bed, then lifted one of her feet,
grabbing a buttonhook to undo the tightly buttoned shoe, then repeated it on
the other.

James Boyd was in the room, still holding the crying baby.

Jackson removed her shoes, and then moved to unbutton the
stiff high collar, stopping halfway down and unbuttoning each cuff. Without
hesitation, he lifted beneath her and unhooked the snug band of her skirt.

“That boy is pretty unhappy,” James said.

“He’ll keep a minute.” Jackson said as he tugged the blouse
free of the skirt and then unbuttoned the bottom half, making sure it still
covered her front.

James came on in the room, putting the baby in the crib,
setting the pitcher down. “I’d think you could wait for that at least until
after the preacher and deacons are gone.”

“Go to hell. You know it’s not that. Did you see her eat
anything today? Hand me a damp cloth and pour some water in her glass.”

James scratched his chin, “No, nary a bite, and that’s a
fact. You think that’s all that ails her?”

“That, the heat, and marrying on command. She was upset
about her pony before they even showed up and then she had to go through all
this.”

He laid the damp cloth on her forehead and reached over to
rub the downy hair on the baby’s head to comfort him too. “See if you can find
something for her to eat. See the preacher off and put some beans on for
supper.”  He pulled the crying baby up into his arms, then kissed him and put
him back in the crib. The boy stared at him, then began to whimper. “I’ve got
these two.”

He sat on the edge of the bed and gently washed at her
flushed face. Hattie’s eyes flew open, dark with shock and confusion. She
started to sit up and Jackson moved between her and the curious cook.

“Tell Pastor Goodwin and the deacons we’ll see them Sunday. Put
Cliff in charge of the men and get them back to work. My wife needs a rest.”

“Yes, sir, boss.”

“Oh, Boyd.”

“Yes, boss…”

“Knock before you bring in the food.”

The cook looked confused, then grinned and backed out the
door.

Hattie’s eyes were huge and dark blue. Jackson smiled at
her, and then held the glass of water for her to drink. Hattie would have taken
it, but he had a firm grip on it. She swallowed, wondering how she’d gotten
here. He took a moment and lifted her into a sitting position, propping both
pillows behind her before releasing the glass into her hands. While she watched
in confusion, he walked over and used the damp rag to clean and change the
smelly baby, leaving him bare and hanging onto the sides of the crib.

He held the dirty diaper and gown up and she pointed to the
covered pail beside the dresser.

“Why did you tell James to knock?” she asked, her voice
squeaking.

He grinned at her mischievously, then peeled down one sock,
then the other. When she gasped and leaned forward to protest he stripped off
the black striped blouse and hung it over the bed post, then tugged her skirt
off and hung it on the foot post.

Hattie curved into a crouch, folding her arms in front of
her body, tucking her bare feet beneath the ruffles of her petticoat. “I thought
you promised not to …,”she couldn’t find breath enough to say more.

A breeze fluttered the curtains, dispelling a little of the
heat. He lifted the naked boy over the rails and handed him to her.

“Best feed him before James brings you your dinner.” He
walked to the door, staring at her as he walked. “I’m going to check to make
sure everyone is gone and the men are back at work. See you later, Mrs.
Harper.”

 Hattie leaned back against the pillows as soon as the door
closed. She raised back up, and removed the hairpins holding the hard bun and
shook her hair loose. J.D. crowed in delight, climbing against her. She had to
admit the breeze felt good on her bare arms. The baby curved against her, as
delighted by her bare skin as she was in his.

“Okay, young master Harper, just because you and Mr. Harper
have some strange notions about proper attire.” She kissed all along the soft
curve of his back and J.D. laughed and made little kissing bites along her
shoulder.

She felt tears sting her eyes, the joy was so blinding and
strong. “Son, my son, I love you so much, till death do us part. I know your
mother Donna, still loves you. I feel her here all around. But now I can love
you and your daddy the same way, without fear.” She kissed his cheek, nuzzling
him as he was nuzzling her, and then fed him.