“This guy can have anyone he wants. Why does he want me?”
She thought.
He invited her in and she cautiously walked in. The
apartment was big and luxurious. The marble floors from the
hallway extended into the apartment and the furniture was a
mixture of modern and antique. It was a very classy design and
the old and new complemented each other perfectly. He offered
her a drink and she asked for vodka with orange juice. Not her
favorite drink but she needed something strong. They sat down
and he introduced himself and complemented her on her
appearance. He was friendly and charming, which was good. They
chatted for a few minutes about nothing in particular and both
avoided the deal that had been struck in the conversation.
After a few minute she was not sure how to proceed. Should
she take the initiative or was he supposed to? He wasn‟t making
a move so she decided she would. After all she was ready to have
this over with as soon as possible. She chugged her drink for
more courage and put the glass down. Then she started to
unbutton her shirt. He put his own glass down and stopped her
without saying a word as he got up and led her into the bedroom.
There was a king size bed with satin sheets. He took off the
unbuttoned shirt and lay down on the bed. She stood there unsure
how to proceed and he motioned her to continue.
She figured he meant with unbuttoning and she did. She took
her shirt and bra off. Then she took her jeans off and stood
there in her panties. He motioned for her to approach and she
got on the bed with him. He kissed her gently over her whole
body but avoided her lips. He was gentle and seemed to do
everything right but it all felt so wrong. She started taking
his pants off eager to get things over with and he assisted.
They had sex and he had made it as pleasant for her as it could
be. He hadn‟t even objected when she demanded he‟d wear a
condom.
After they got done she quickly gathered her clothes and
took them into the bathroom with her. She cleaned up and got
dressed as quickly as possible eager to get out of there. When
she got out of the bathroom Antoine had gotten dressed again as
well and he thanked her gallantly. This was so weird to her.
Nothing of it made sense. He had demanded to have sex with her
but it had seemed like he had put forth more effort into making
her comfortable, which was not possible, than she had put into
making him more comfortable. She quickly said goodbye and
hurried out of the apartment and to the elevator.
She rode the elevator down and blew past the doorman
completely ignoring him. She just wanted to curl into a ball and
cry. She got into the car with Jake and told him to go and let‟s
get home as soon as possible. For a moment she considered asking
for the coke but decided against it. She didn‟t want to talk at
all even to ask for the drugs. Jake tried to ask her how it had
gone and if she was ok but she ignored him while staring out of
the passenger side window at the city going by; staring away
from Jake. She needed to process it all. They rode in silence
all the way home and when they got back to Chicago she walked
into the apartment and directly into the bedroom and shut the
door in front of him before he could enter. She wasn‟t mad at
him. After all she had offered to do it. She just needed to be
alone.
Feelings of the rape came floating up and she lay down on
the bed and sobbed. She lay there for several hours until it was
getting dark and soon after she cried herself to sleep. How
could things that had felt so right have gone so wrong so fast?
The next morning she woke up to the smell of fresh coffee.
Jake was standing by the bed with coffee and fresh muffins. He
had slept on the couch in the living room to give her space and
now he was trying to make her feel better. Still disturbed about
it all she graciously accepted the peace offering. She took a
sip and looked at him.
“I‟m so sorry” he said looking very guilty, “I shouldn‟t
have let you do it.”
“It‟s done” she responded coldly, “nothing we can do now
but move on.”
He nodded “I‟m working on something to get the money. It
shouldn‟t take more than two weeks” he said.
“Ok” she responded.
They sat in bed and had breakfast. He said he would stay
with her but she told him he should spend his time better. He
shrugged, grabbed his coat and left. She sat in bed for a long
while sipping the coffee and nibbling on the muffins.
Later that day she went outside and found Anisha in their
usual spot. It was funny how they never seemed to visit each
other and only hung out in that one spot on the steps to their
rundown apartment building but the weather was getting better
and better so there was no need to go inside. Anisha looked at
her and asked what was wrong as she saw Kim‟s gloomy expression.
“I did it” she said, “I did the dude.”
Anisha looked at her in shock “I‟m sorry” she said, “trust
me it will wear off in time. It gets easier too” she added.
Kim looked at her with a stern face and said “it doesn‟t
need to get easier. It was a onetime thing.”
“I hope so girlfriend” Anisha said with a certain amount of
doubt in her voice.
“I‟ve got another joint. Want to share it?” Anisha asked.
Kim nodded. That would help she thought. They talked for a
long time and for the first time Anisha‟s job did not come into
the conversation. They hugged as they split and they both went
into their own apartments. Jake came home early and looked
pleased. The deal he had been working on was going well he said.
Another week or two and they would be back on track. Then he
would finally get honest work and they could move on. Kim felt
relieved. It helped knowing that the one time would be the only
time. The week went by quickly. Jake had to leave for the week
again getting the deal setup but not really disclosing what it
was about. Kim thought it was probably better not to know. If it
would get them back on track she didn‟t care.
They talked on the phone a lot again and it reminded her
about when they had first gotten together. She snickered at the
thought. Here she was sounding to herself like they had been
together for years but really they had only met less than half a
year ago. But it started to feel good again and Jake seemed to
be doing well and was cheerful on the phone. He asked her how
she was doing all the time and more and more she answered that
she missed him, which was true, she did miss him. He told her he
had more to do and wouldn‟t be back for a little longer. He had
been gone for almost a week now. They were really close with
rounding things up and he needed a few more days. He would send
her some money. If this would finally be the end of this life
then she could wait a few more days.
Four more days passed. The phone calls with Jake grew
longer and so did the talks with Anisha. Finally when she talked
to Jake that night he told her he would be home tomorrow. She
cheered and told him how much she missed him and he told her he
missed her too. The next day Jake got home around noon. They
flew into each other‟s arms and hugged as tight as ever.
“How did it go?” she asked.
“Great” he said, “The day after tomorrow I have to meet
with a local guy on Halsted. He is a local pimp with some
connection. He has a money man lined up. Once that is set we are
ready to go and I‟ll get paid.”
Kim tried to remember where she had heard about Halsted,
than she remembered. Anisha had told her it was one of the few
places they could still work without too much hassle. The city
had been cracking down on prostitution and most areas had been
cleaned up. Halsted had become the place for street walking. The
next day they spent the morning together in bed and in the
afternoon Jake had some more things to take care of. She wished
he would include her more but she figured he just didn‟t want to
bother her with anything after all she had been through in the
last month. She went outside and Anisha was waiting for her.
“Hey, girl” she said, “I thought you weren‟t going to
come.”
Kim smiled and sat down. Anisha offered up her joint and
Kim declined. She told her about the deal coming together
tomorrow at Halsted.
Anisha looked up “That‟s where I usually work. You should
tag along with Jake and say hi. He must be meeting with Travis
there.”
“Who‟s Travis?” Kim asked.
“He‟s kind of a pimp but doesn‟t really have much in the
works of girls. He mostly takes on girls from other pimps. They
pay him twenty percent of the take and he holds the money for
the girls while they are with the Johns. You don‟t want too much
cash on you while you are with a John. That‟s just asking to be
robbed. But the main part of his service is that he has a group
of local youths running around the area. They can spot a cop a
mile away and warn him. He then warns the girls that use his
services and it keeps them out of jail. I‟ve used him for the
last year now and I‟ve only seen two of his girls arrested and
they were too hard up for a fix that they didn‟t listen to him
when he told them to clear out.”
Kim blinked and thought how whacked this all was but to a
lot of people here it was a way of life. They hadn‟t thought
about it any differently then she had about the social rules at
school.
“If you tag along tomorrow you should dress the part”
Anisha told her, “It‟s best not to stick out like a sore thumb
in an area like Halsted.”
“What if someone asks me?” Kim asked with a shudder.
“You‟ll be with your man” Anisha said, “They leave you be
for the most part and the Johns don‟t like to draw attention to
themselves so if you just say no they will move on.”
Kim though about it for a bit and had to admit that she was
intrigued about it all. Also she had been confined to her
apartment with Jake gone so much that she was eager for a break
from it. That night as she and Jake watched some TV he told her
that he was meeting Travis at five the next day. Travis had
great contacts and the money man would be there and it was as
good as done. He asked if she wanted to tag along and go out and
celebrate afterwards. She nodded and the next day they got up
late and Jake left to do more of whatever he did during the day.
Kim got some groceries and hung out with Anisha again. She
told her she was going to tag along. She had heard so much about
it and though not interested in ever doing anything she had
gotten curious about the scene.
“Don‟t expect any glamour” Anisha has said laughing.
At four she went inside and got changed. She wore the short
white skirt and pink top she had worn for Jake a while ago. It
was sexy but not sleazy and it should allow her to blend in she
thought. At four thirty Jake was back to pick her up and
together they drove to Halsted. Once there he parked and they
got out. Jake introduced her to Travis. Travis was a sleazy
looking guy in his mid to late thirties. He wore a lot of gold
rings and chains and wore jeans and a Chicago Bulls Jersey that
was way too big for him. It had been Pippen‟s shirt in a
championship game he boasted. Kim said hi and then spotted
Anisha. She looked much different. Usually Anisha wore baggy
jeans and a t-shirt or sweatshirt depending on the weather, now
she was wearing a really tight spandex neon pink skirt with
fishnet stockings and a tiger print tube top and clearly no bra.
Kim excused herself and went to say hi to Anisha. Anisha looked
her over and nodded in approval.
“Not bad” she said smiling.
Kim looked at her and joked “I think I failed in not
sticking out if that is the dress code here.”
Anisha laughed “Never under estimate the convenience of
spandex in this profession” she joked back.
“You look great” she said, “Think of it as going for the
high school cheerleader angle. Guys dig that.”
Kim shuddered and laughed off the thought. They chatted as
Jake talked to Travis. An old green Taurus stopped next to them
with the window rolled down.
“How much?” came the question through the window of the
car. Kim stood frozen not knowing how to react.
Anisha quickly leaned into the car and said “Fifty for you,
honey.”
The guy leaned over the passenger seat and looked past
Anisha.
“Not you” he said irritated, “Her” pointing at Kim.
Kim was paralyzed with dread.
Anisha looked at Kim and quickly told the guy “You can‟t
afford her.”
He grunted and moved on and Kim and Anisha had trouble
containing their laughter. For some reason the situation had
seemed comical. Then she noticed the discussion between Jake and
Travis was getting heated and Jake was getting very animated.
She walked back to him trying to figure out what was going on
and to calm him down.
As she got closer she heard him say “What do you mean he‟s
not coming?” he yelled at Travis.
Travis told him that the money man had found a different
investment and all his money was tied up. There was nothing he
could do.
“What does this mean?” Kim asked.
“This means the deal is off and I can‟t get Antoine‟s money
for him” Jake said angrily while pacing nervously.
“How much do you owe Antoine?” Travis asked nervously.
“Three grand, due in two weeks” Jake said irritated, “But
I‟ve run out of options. I can‟t get the money and Antoine is
going to kill me” he added.
Travis looked at him puzzled and then said “Man, only three
grand. That piece of ass there with you can get that here in a
week.”
Jake looked at him with fury in his eyes and paused for a
moment then balled his fist and stepped toward Travis ready to
punch him in the face. Kim quickly jumped between them and
stopped Jake.
“He‟s right, it‟s our only option” she said trying to calm
Jake down.
Looked at her and said “you are not hooking” with a stern
voice.
“It‟s no different than what I did with Antoine except this
will actually fix things” she heard herself say shocked at the
fact she was suggesting to become a prostitute.
“I don‟t want you to” Jake said.
“If I don‟t, you will end up dead. I got us into this mess
and I will get us out” she yelled at this point more irritated
with him telling her what to do than shocked with what she was
suggesting.