but now that disgust was gone. It felt good. Jake had done
nothing wrong, he had saved her and nursed her. This shouldn‟t
destroy their relationship. It should strengthen it. Jake too
was smiling. He must feel the same way I do. She was even able
to put everything that happened out of her mind and fantasize
about his body again.
She nodded, “Wow, this feels great” she said smiling and
grabbing Jake to hug him.
Jake hugged her back and they lost their balance and rolled
off the bed both laughing.
She pushed herself up and said “I‟m hungry.”
It was late afternoon already and she had slept most of the
day. The last time she had eaten anything it had been over
twenty four hours ago. She walked out of the bedroom and stepped
into the living room of a very small old apartment. The place
was run down and a mess. There was a dirty old couch and a table
with two chairs in the kitchen which was attached like her „old‟
apartment. That sounded odd. However her old apartment had been
the Ritz compared to this place. Jake stood in the bedroom
doorway.
“Sorry, it‟s the only place I could find on such short
notice” he said, “it‟s a friend‟s and we can stay as long as we
like.”
“It‟s great” she said, “As long as I‟m here with you it
will be perfect.”
He smiled and she walked to the fridge and opened it. There
wasn‟t much there and she made a sandwich for herself.
“Where are we?” she asked.
“In an outskirt of Chicago” he responded, “it‟s a bad
neighborhood but it‟s a place to stay. You shouldn‟t go out
alone at night.”
She nodded as she ate her sandwich greedily. She didn‟t
care. Nothing that could happen to her could be worse than last
night and that seemed not that big of a deal right now. She knew
it was the effects of the drugs but didn‟t care. She made
another sandwich and ate that one as quickly as the first one.
Then she washed it down with a glass of milk. Her situation was
dire she realized, a seventeen year old run away from home and
on the run with a criminal. But he had become a criminal over
her and she couldn‟t blame him for that. He had shot a man that
had raped her. And she felt confident. Together they could
handle anything.
They sat down on the couch and discussed their future
together. He would find work here and they would fix this place
up. It would all be perfect. About an hour later she felt the
warmth drift away and slowly the images from last night started
coming back to her. It hadn‟t been like before after the drugs.
She could no longer push them away and they were real, so real.
Not like before where it had felt no worse than having seen it
on a TV show. Jake noticed her demeanor change and walked into
the bedroom to get the mirror and the bag. It was a big bag and
it had plenty in it he explained. When she needed to she should
just do a line. He showed her how to do it and how much to put
in a line and she snorted it eagerly; anything to stop it all
from coming back to her. Jake didn‟t do another line and he got
up.
“Make yourself at home” he said and he grabbed his coat,
“I‟ll be back in a bit, I‟ve got some business to take care of.
I‟ll bring dinner home.”
The drugs were taking their effect again and she started
feeling good again. She begged him to stay but he insisted he
had to take care of stuff for them, so they could be together.
He closed the door behind him and she stood there all alone. The
drugs made it bearable though. In fact she felt restless. She
found her bags and got some clothes out. Then she took a shower
and got dressed after which she sat down and looked around. She
was too jumpy to sit, so she got up and started to clean the
place. She wanted to make him happy and cleaned for several
hours and whenever she started to feel the drugs wear off she
quickly did another line. She had no idea how long it had been
since Jake had left but remembered she had done three more lines
since he had left. It had gotten dark a while ago but she was
very much awake and had more energy than after she had gotten
up.
Jake came home with a pizza and they ate on the couch while
watching TV. The place looked great he had commented when he had
walked in. During dinner she felt the high wear off again and
grabbed for the bag to do another line. Jake took it from her
and she shot him an angry look. He took the pill bottle out
again and gave her two.
“Take these or you‟ll never be able to sleep” he told her.
She shrugged and took them. Minutes later she fell asleep
in his arms. The next morning she woke up in the bed by herself.
She called out for Jake but there was no reply. She saw a note
on the night stand and read it.
The note read “I‟m out looking for work, will be home
tonight. Relax. Love Jake.”
The haze of the last two days lifted and she noticed the
bag and mirror next to the note. She quickly prepped a line and
snorted it. Then she lay back praying for it to kick in fast. It
did and she felt better. As the day went on she was going stir
crazy in the small apartment. Every time she felt as if she was
coming down from the high she took another line. By noon she had
cleaned everything she could think of and was too hyper to sit
and watch TV. Out of frustration she cleaned everything again
taking lines when she felt the high wear off. As the day went on
she noticed the highs becoming less high but luckily the coming
down from them wasn‟t that bad anymore either; mostly because
her mind was on taking more drugs rather than on the rape.
Late at night Jake came home and she was happy to have some
distraction. He brought dinner again and she asked him if he had
found anything and he shook his head.
“I could see if I can find anything” she offered.
He shook his head and said “No, you are being looked for.
If your name shows up anywhere they will be here in no time.”
He seemed down and she asked if there was anything she
could do. He shook and said no as he walked into the kitchen to
get a beer. She got the bag out and fixed up a line and offered
it to him as he came back from the kitchen.
“No, thanks” he said, “I don‟t feel like that.”
She looked at him puzzled and then at the line on the
mirror. She shrugged and snorted the line herself rather than
letting it go to waste. Then she let it kick in and stood up in
front of him. She took her shirt off and rubbed her bare
breasts.
“Then maybe you want some of this?” she asked playfully.
He smiled and pulled her toward him. They made love which
she thought should have been repulsive so short after the rape
but it wasn‟t. The drugs not only made it ok, they also made it
more intense.
“We need to get some sleep” he said afterward and got up.
She was too restless she said and he gave her more of the
„magic‟ pills and they fell asleep shortly after. About two
weeks went by and he left every morning and returned at night
without much good news on the job front. She kept herself in
check with the drug and as time went by she was able to come
down from a high without too much distress. At times she had
been able to wait for more than an hour after the high wore off.
She wanted to keep taking it but then the restlessness drove her
nuts. After two weeks she had used up almost the whole bag.
Jake told her he had to take care of some business and was
going to be gone for a few days again. She nodded. The next
morning he said goodbye and told her he would be back in three
days. He left some money for food and apologized he couldn‟t
leave more. She told him it was plenty and kissed him goodbye.
He left and Kim looked at the almost empty bag and for the first
time decided to try and go without. She had to make it last
until Jake got back.
It was almost May now and the weather was getting much
warmer. She ventured outside for the first time to check out her
new neighborhood. Jake had been right, it wasn‟t a very good
neighborhood. She walked around but stayed within two blocks of
the apartment. She turned back to the apartment about an hour
later with her mind and body demanding the drugs.
When she got to the building a black girl about eighteen or
nineteen years of age was sitting on the steps smoking a
cigarette. It smelled funny. She recognized the smell and knew
it was pot. The world she had landed in seemed so unreal. She
said hi to the girl and the girl looked up.
“Are you the new chick from number 6” she asked.
Kim nodded and stuck out her hand “I‟m Kim” she introduced
herself.
The girl shook her hand and replied “Anisha.”
“You lived here long?” Kim asked.
“Six months” Anisha replied, “I used to live 4 blocks over
but my mom‟s new boyfriend kicked me out, so now I‟m here. It‟s
not bad.”
Kim swallowed. Anisha was telling this as if it was the
most normal thing in the world.
“Want some?” Anisha asked as she offered the cigarette to
Kim.
Kim didn‟t want to seem like a snob with the only person
she had to talk to and accepted. She took a tug on the cigarette
and it sent her into a major coughing fit. Anisha snickered as
she took the cigarette back.
“I know” she said, “It‟s not very good shit but it‟s all I
can afford right now.”
The smoke made Kim dizzy and she sat down next to Anisha.
“Sorry” she wheezed, “I don‟t smoke much.”
“That‟s ok” Anisha said with a smile, “I prefer some better
shit too like coke. Especially before I go to work.”
Kim gave her a puzzled look “you go to work stoned?” she
asked.
“Girl, if you walked the streets like me you‟d do the same.
It doesn‟t make it better but it takes the edge off” Anisha
said.
Kim was shocked and in a flash she felt emotional scars
from the rape at the thought of this girl having sex with total
strangers.
“Hang on” she said and she went inside.
She took the mirror and fixed two lines on it. She walked
back out and sat down next to Anisha again. Then she snorted the
first line and offered the second to Anisha who eagerly
accepted.
“Thanks girl” Anisha said, “now that‟s what I‟m talking
about.”
With the drugs settling in Kim moved from being repulsed to
being intrigued at Anisha‟s profession. They sat for a little
bit waiting for the drugs to take full effect.
Kim turned to Anisha and asked “So you sleep with men for
money?”
“No sleeping going on there, just sex” Anisha responded
smiling at Kim‟s question.
“How can you do it with all these different men that you
don‟t even know?” Kim asked.
Anisha looked ahead and said “You get used to it….no
actually you don‟t get used to it. You just learn to tolerate it
and try not to think about it.”
She paused for a moment then continued “There are a few
tricks to make it easier.”
“Tricks?” Kim said in an inquiring tone.
Anisha nodded then pointed at the mirror between them “That
helps” she said, “another trick is to get a guy worked up real
good before you do anything with them.”
“What do you mean?” Kim asked intrigued.
Anisha sighed almost seeming surprised at how someone Kim‟s
age could be that green.
“You know, you give them a little show, play with yourself
a bit not letting them touch you. Then play with their dick with
your hands for a bit. Then when they are close you fuck or blow
them or whatever you agreed on. Then they will come in seconds
and you don‟t have to have them inside of you as long” she
explained.
Another pause then she quickly added “You will want to make
sure you get them in you though. If you work them up too much
and they come before you start fucking or sucking they will only
pay you for a hand job which is a lot less.”
Kim looked at her in amazement, she thought she should be
shocked about all this but she wasn‟t. It must be the drugs she
thought, it had been almost like a lecture from a teacher in
class.
“How much does it pay?” Kim asked curiously.
“I charge ten for a hand job, twenty five for a blow and
fifty for a fuck. Anything kinky is extra” Anisha said, another
pause, “you can get double for without a condom” she added.
“Isn‟t that dangerous” Kim asked.
Anisha nodded and said “Yes, but if you are hard up for
cash you sometimes need to. The girls don‟t get rich from this
work. Sure on a good night I can take home six hundred dollars
but it usually doesn‟t last long.”
Kim shivered as she did the math quietly.
“The problem is that you have to have a guy to protect you
and bail you out and stuff. They take most of the cut. Then you
need drugs which is expensive. Then when you do get hard up for
cash and do some without condoms you usually end up with nasty
diseases and between the diseases and drugs you don‟t get much
more appealing and your market price goes down. Add in a few
accidental kids and you are stuck here for life. The trick is to
keep control of your cash, than you stay off the drugs and don‟t
do without condom. Then you can survive this” Anisha explained.
She took another tug from the cigarette and continued.
“I saw a girl here once. She got in trouble somehow and
needed the cash. She set an amount she needed and stayed off the
drugs. She was out of here in no time and went back to college.
It‟s rare though most of us need the drugs to keep going without
going insane” Anisha said.
Kim listened to it all in amazement. She had seen things on
TV even from news reports but it was all so foreign. It all
seemed like fiction and here she was in an area where it was
apparently the most normal thing in the world.
“Are you going to hook?” Anisha asked her, wondering after
all the interest.
Kim shook her head quickly and shuddered shocked at the
question.
Anisha looked straight ahead “Good for you” she said, “Girl
like you could make a lot of money though.”
Kim looked at her in shock never having even thought of the
idea.
Anisha continued “You look young and clean. I know you are
using but haven‟t for very long so you aren‟t showing. Guys
would be falling over you. They all want a young pure white
girl. The younger the better, it‟s kind of sick if you think
about it.”
Shocked at the thought Kim quickly switched topics. They
chatted for a long time until Anisha said she had to go and get
ready. Kim went back inside as it was starting to get dark. She