Spinning around, he rushed away as fast as his feet could carry him. Stumbling whenever he forgot to take due notice of the ground passing rapidly beneath his shoes, he broke into a clumsy run.
His feet covered the grass more and more quickly as he headed instinctively for the tree line, but speed didn’t help. It was impossible to outrun the words—they were already in his head and the wind whipping against his clothes and snatching at his hair didn’t blow a single one of them from his mind.
Out by the wood pile, in
Caden’s
bed, even out by the river—it had all been a game to Caden, some sick little game the alphas had arranged for the other gamma to play with him. On the edge of the woods, Alfred slowed down. Collapsing against one of the trees, he struggled for breath as his lungs burned and his muscles cried out in pain.
Stupid! He’d been such a fool to believe Caden had any real interest in him. Alfred swung his arm, lashing out at the world in general. His fingertips brushed against one of the tree’s branches. Before he’d even thought about what he was doing, he’d caught hold of it.
It was a thin branch. It came away from the trunk easily enough. Desperate to share some of the pain inside him and make everyone else hurt too, he swung the branch at the tree trunk again and again, sending leaves and
bark
flying around him.
He keep swinging the branch until his lungs whimpered their lack of oxygen and his heart raced so fast he was sure it would leap straight out through his rib cage.
Finally exhausted, he slumped onto his knees and let his head drop forward to rest against the battered bark. He closed his eyes, but it was impossible for him to hide from the anger coursing through him. He’d barely caught his breath before he turned back towards the house, fury burning in his eyes.
Chapter Five
“Alfred?”
Alfred heard Marsdon calling out to him just as he reached the kitchen door, but he was in no mood to heed his alpha. He wasn’t capable of listening to anyone and even if he tried, he knew they would just lie to him, try to make him believe things that weren’t true and—
“Alfred!” There was an added snap to
Marsdon’s
voice that time.
Every lupine instinct Alfred possessed yelled that he should listen to the leader of his pack, but he pushed all that aside. Marsdon was the one who’d ordered Caden to…
Alfred growled beneath his breath. Marsdon had made the wolf he loved into a whore, and he deserved no hint of respect from anyone.
A rough hand landed on Alfred’s shoulder and span
him around as he reached the centre of the kitchen. The larger wolf tightened his hold on him when he tried to squirm away. There was no escape. Jerking his head back, Alfred glared up at Marsdon. “What?”
“Why didn’t you stop when I called you?”
“What the hell made you think I would?” Alfred shot back.
“Alfred…” The word was a clear warning. The growl in
Marsdon’s
voice wasn’t the least bit playful or paternal.
“Since when are you surprised I don’t listen to a word you say?” Alfred threw at him.
The image of Caden on his knees before him, and the way that beautiful picture was tainted by the knowledge that Caden hadn’t really wanted to be there, that he was just whoring himself out on an alpha’s orders, made it impossible for him to hold back anything.
He pushed at the alpha’s hands, struggling to get away from him, but Marsdon merely shoved him back against the kitchen cabinets and held him there as if he had a right to do that, as if his rank gave him the right to do whatever the hell he wanted with any wolf in his pack, no matter who got hurt in the process.
Writhing against the hard edge of the cabinet, Alfred kicked out, shoving against
Marsdon’s
body with all his might, and achieving no movement whatsoever.
That just made Alfred angrier than ever. Helplessness rushed through him, whipping up the storm inside him into something stronger than he’d ever felt in his life. The fight to get
Marsdon’s
hands off his shoulders morphed into a fight for survival inside his head.
Lupine claws crept out of his fingers.
Marsdon’s
shirt tore. There was no way his actions could be anything other than a challenge, but Alfred was past caring.
The alpha’s hands suddenly moved to his wrists in a sickening mockery of the way he’d taken hold of Caden, back when some stupid part of him had actually believed the other gamma could enjoy being held that way. The alpha’s fingers wrapped tightly around Alfred’s skin and span him around so his back was to
Marsdon’s
chest.
He was trapped then, his hands useless, his struggles futile.
“If you have any intention of remaining a member of this pack, you’d best learn to control that temper. There’s only so much any alpha will accept.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be part of your bloody pack,” Alfred screamed. “Maybe I don’t want to be part of any pack!”
Not if that was the price Caden had to pay for him to be accepted, not if—
“Alfred?”
Marsdon spun them both around to face the softly spoken word.
Caden and Gunnar stood in the doorway leading in from the courtyard. A frown spread across
Caden’s
brow as Alfred’s eyes met his, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing.
“What?” Alfred demanded. “You really thought a few blow jobs would make me into a brain-dead little zombie, prepared to jump at every higher ranking wolf’s command?”
Caden stepped forward. Alfred desperately tried to back away, but there was no getting past Marsdon while the alpha’s grip on his wrists kept him trapped and helpless.
Very slowly, the other gamma settled his palm on Alfred’s cheek. He tried to jerk his head away. All he succeeded in doing was head-butting the alpha’s shoulder.
“Tell me what’s wrong?” Caden asked, gently. There was so much emotion in his eyes, and it looked so much like real concern, like how another wolf might look if he really did love him.
Alfred closed his eyes as he turned his face away from all the lies. “Get your hands off me.”
“Alfred,” Caden began.
“It’s over.”
“Over?”
Caden repeated, blankly.
“Yes, over!”
Alfred yelled, unable to keep the words back. “I have no interest in being your mate—no intention of being blackmailed and bribed with the possibility that you just might let me screw a fine piece of arse at some point. What is it that you don’t understand about that?”
“Alfred!” Marsdon snapped.
For just the briefest moment, the alpha’s grip on him eased. Jerking away from him, Alfred wrenched himself out of his hold and lurched away from the other man. He stumbled forward until he found his way blocked by the long kitchen table.
“That’s all you are,” Alfred growled at Caden as he span back to face him. He didn’t know if he was trying to convince Caden or himself, but the words tumbled out faster and faster regardless. “You’re just a pretty piece of arse. Well, I have no interest in being mated to some silly little slut who’ll cheerfully whore himself out whenever he wants to get his own way. Understand?”
The blood seemed to drain from
Caden’s
face. There was no hint of the pride or smugness that Alfred had overheard in the barn anymore. “I… You…” He dropped his gaze as he trailed off into silence.
“That’s enough.” Suddenly Gunnar was standing in front of Caden, big and stupid and worse even than all the others in the pack.
A growl built in the back of Alfred’s throat. For a moment, his muscles tensed. His body screamed its desire to leap forward and claw each inch of flesh from the other man’s face. At the last moment, the tiny little part of Alfred that still remembered what it was to be part of a pack won out. He threw himself towards the door rather than the other wolves.
Bennett was in the courtyard, making his way towards the house, just as Alfred emerged through the doorway. He said something, but Alfred didn’t really hear it. The world before him was flooded with tears, but that didn’t matter. He didn’t care where he was going, as long as it was as far away from Caden as he could get.
* * * *
“Would anyone like to tell me what the hell that was all about?” Marsdon demanded as a stunned silence settled over the kitchen.
Caden barely even registered the question. All he could do was stare at the door Alfred had run through, unable to bring a single word to his lips in order to frame an answer.
“Caden?”
Gunnar’s voice tugged at the edge of his consciousness, but even that failed to rouse him from his stupor right then.
Alfred thought that he was nothing more than a—?
Big, strong hands landed on
Caden’s
shoulders. He was turned forcibly away from the kitchen door and made to face his brother.
Gunnar glared down at him. His expression was angry, but he was nowhere near as furious as Alfred had been. And Caden knew his brother well enough to be able to see that beneath all of Gunnar’s anger was a hell of a lot of concern. He hadn’t seen any hint of that in Alfred’s eyes—all he’d sensed in Alfred’s scent was hatred.
“I…” Caden couldn’t think of any other words to add to that one, lonely little syllable.
Alfred had all the potential in the world to be a good
wolf,
to be the kind of man any shifter would be proud to call his mate. But it had never occurred to Caden that a wolf with so much potential wouldn’t want to be mated to someone whose main talent
lay
in fluttering his eyelashes.
He swallowed rapidly, trying to make his throat work, even if his brain wouldn’t. Looking up, he saw everyone staring at him. “He didn’t mean it,” he whispered. Alfred couldn’t have meant it. Could he?
Lifting a hand, Caden shook off his brother’s touch and pushed his fingers through his hair. There was no mud to stop them now. If Alfred had wanted him when he looked like a muddy little mongrel, it stood to reason that he must still want him when he was all clean and pretty. “He’s probably just having a bad day and—”
“Don’t stand up for the little bastard!” Gunnar growled.
Caden quickly lifted his gaze and met the beta’s eyes. “It’s not all his fault.”
“Then whose fault is it?” someone asked, very calmly, from behind them.
Caden turned towards his alphas. Bennett was at
Marsdon’s
side now. His words sounded like an honest question, but the answer was far too dangerous to say out loud.
Even with panic swirling through his veins and the possibility of Alfred not wanting to be mated to anyone who only had a pretty face to recommend them hanging over his head, Caden knew it was something that simply wasn’t said. Not by wolves. Not within a pack.
“Yours.”
And the word was out, hanging in the air between them. It was too late for Caden to snatch it back, and as a damn near deafening silence settled over them, he found he didn’t want to. Who cared how dangerous anything was when the worst had already happened?
“What did you say?” Marsdon snapped, stepping forward and blocking
Caden’s
view of the other alpha.
“Not Bennett in particular,” Caden corrected, as he realised what Marsdon thought.
“All of you—all of
us
.
The entire pack is to blame for the way Alfred acts.”
Marsdon folded his arms across his chest as he squared his stance. “Gunnar’s right—trying to make excuses for him and blaming everyone except him every time he screws up isn’t going to do—”
“Don’t you mean
if
?” Caden
asked,
his voice perfectly calm and controlled now that there was no going back. He hadn’t meant to have the conversation like this. Hell, he’d hoped he could have got away with never needing to have it at all. But, if it was happening, he knew he had to make sure it happened right—he had to give Alfred that much of a fighting chance.
Whatever was destined to happen between them, whatever Alfred really thought of him, he owed any wolf he loved that much.
Marsdon frowned. “What?”
“Don’t you mean if he screws up rather than when?” Caden asked again. “Is it really fair on him that you always assume he’s going to screw up right from the start? Doesn’t that just tempt fate and make it all the more likely he’ll do something wrong?”
Bennett stepped forward before
Marsdon
could say anything, and laid his hand gently on his mate’s arm. “I think we’d best sit down.
This sounds
like it’ll take a while.” He moved forward and pointedly took a seat at one end of the long pine table. Marsdon silently claimed the seat next to him.
Feeling very much like he was crossing quicksand, Caden sat next to his brother, opposite the alphas. Folding his hands neatly on the table, Caden stared down at them for a long time, trying to find the best possible words.
“Have you ever wondered why Alfred has never settled into your pack very well?” he finally asked.