The Life and Afterlife of Charlie Brackwood (The Brackwood Series Book 1) (14 page)

Lucy’s features were the same but had been carefully highlighted and enhanced with the creative and precise application of makeup.  I couldn't break eye contact as I marvelled at the deep green of her irises against the black eyeliner that enhanced her wide, almond-shaped eyes.  Her pale flawless skin had a youthful glow and her hair had been swept up in an elegant up-do, leaving wispy curls to frame her sharp cheekbones and jawline.

My eyes travelled down past her delicate shoulders to the full-length dress she was wearing.  It was a black satin gown that was fitted at the waist and clung to her hips before flaring out at her knees, accentuating her classic hourglass figure. 

Gone were the days of oversized dungarees and lumpy jumpers that swamped Lucy's frame.  My eyes widened involuntarily as I struggled for words.  I became painfully aware of my facial expression and knew that before long my appreciative stare would linger a little too long and give away my true feelings.

With an effort I broke eye contact in a bid to disguise my longing.  Instead I found myself staring at her plump lips, the shiny, pale pink gloss she wore making them more noticeable than usual.

"Wow!... You look... different,” I stammered nervously. 

Lucy smiled at me and then took me by surprise by throwing her arms around my neck.  I embraced her awkwardly. Our friendship had never involved a lot of physical contact before but I liked this new development.  My skittish heart drummed a warning that I liked it a bit too much. 

Her perfume had a sweet smell to it that was pleasant but not overpowering.  It reminded me of the roses in my grandparents’ garden.  When I breathed in deeply my mind became foggy and the hairs at the nape of my neck tingled. 

I wanted to tell her how incredibly beautiful she was and how much of a hole she'd left in my life since she'd been gone, but I was afraid of rejection and humiliation.  I‘d often struggled with my self-confidence, and fear of failure stopped me from taking risks.  There might have been a brick wall between me and Lucy, one I found impossible to knock down. 

"I think you mean captivating, Charlie." Stuart had finally found his voice after a good few minutes of mindless gawping. 

I glanced at his gormless expression and hated the way he was looking at Lucy.  His eyes raked over her body slowly from her face to her feet, taking in every inch in between.  She must have noticed he was staring but she didn't appear at all fazed by it.  The urge to stand in front of his short, chubby body and block his view of Lucy was a powerful one.

"Yes, captivating," I agreed.  "Stunning even... you look stunning, Lucy."

"Thank you, it’s all just makeup really... the work of Emilia's skilled hands.  You know how persuasive she can be."

Lucy's elder sister could be very forceful and I was a little fearful of her in those days.  She was highly protective of her sister, and rightly so.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since we were kids,” I said shyly, looking at the elegant gown that clung to Lucy’s figure.

She glanced down at her dress.

"Oh, thank you, this is Emelia's too, I'm surprised she let me borrow it.”

"It suits you," I said, and Lucy grinned.

"Sometimes I wonder whether I'm her sister or her Barbie doll," she said, shrugging her shoulders and rolling her eyes.  I wished she would throw her arms around me again.

"Well, I'm really glad you're home.  I've missed you... way too much."
So much that my mind is blurred by thoughts of you. 
Her eyes brightened at my spoken statement and she was about to reply when she was interrupted.

"Luce!" Russ's greeting rang out above the music and the tall, perfectly tanned blonde he’d been talking to rolled her eyes and turned away in disgust.

I looked at Lucy, who was searching the crowd for him. She finally spotted him when he raised both hands in the air and jogged over to where we stood.  When he reached us one arm shot out and curled around Lucy's neck, crushing her head to his chest.

"Luce, you're back," he said into her hair, then stood back and grinned at her.  “And looking mighty fine I might add... wowser!."

Lucy started to giggle.  I had not heard that sound in so long that it caused butterflies in my stomach.

"This coming from a guy who once found a man in drag attractive," she laughed.

"Hey, it was the hip wiggle, threw me right off."

"That man must give good wiggle because you failed to see the three-millimetres of beard growth on the guy’s face!" I laughed. 

Russ pointed a finger in my direction.

"Hey, those hips were mesmerising," he said good-naturedly as he laughed along with us.

He turned to Lucy again then and hugged her to him with a little more tenderness than before.  He kissed her lightly on the cheek before releasing her.  Once again I felt jealous of my best mate and his confidence with women.  There was no way I was letting it show though.

"Honestly, Luce, it's been so dull without you here.  How long is it till you finish this silly degree?" Russ asked.

Lucy laughed again.

"Erm... only another two and three-quarter years, Russ."

He let his jaw drop in mock surprise.

"What? I can't wait that long for you, Lucy... I mean, a man's got needs," he said with a wink, clearly teasing her. "If you're not careful, I may just slip through your fingers."

Lucy groaned and rolled her eyes dramatically.

"I am fully OK with that, Russ," she said sarcastically.

He howled with laughter at her putdown and then swiftly whisked her off to the dance floor, despite her protests and glances in my direction.  I shrugged my shoulders and laughed, while inside I felt a strong desire to pull her back beside me. 

While they danced Russ looked at no one else but Lucy. He liked to laugh and joke but his feelings for her ran deep, it was obvious. I knew how he was feeling because I felt the same way.

One glance at Lucy's face, though, told me his hopes were in vain. She was looking at him in just the way she would look at a cousin or brother.  She was amused and undoubtedly enjoying herself with him, but her face did not reflect the besotted expression that was plastered all over Russ's.  Of course, this expression never lasted long with him. We had seen it many times before in the early days of his failed relationships. 

The problem he had was maintaining interest in a girl once the initial excitement of a new relationship was over.  In the beginning he would appear infatuated and would spend every waking moment in the company of his latest love interest.  But before long things would begin to grow stagnant and he would lose interest.  In a matter of weeks he had already moved on to the next exciting proposition, again seeking the same early relationship thrill.  This vicious cycle was mainly down to his dysfunctional relationship with his parents.

As I watched my two childhood friends dancing together I wondered at the change in Lucy.  Viewed from the sidelines she seemed carefree and confident.  She laughed easily, without appearing self-conscious, and seemed so much more comfortable within herself.   

Glancing around, I realised she had the attention of most of the people in the room; everybody was fascinated by the change in this girl they had all known since primary school.  I noticed that some of the other females were giving Lucy resentful stares, though, no doubt members of Russ’s ever-growing fan club.

Lucy was evidently impervious to their reaction. Or maybe she was secretly enjoying the attention.  The Lucy of three months ago would never have dreamt of dancing with Russ in a room full of onlookers.

She threw back her head and laughed loudly at Russ's ridiculous robot dance.  She turned to look at me then, gesturing for me to join them, but I shook my head, too embarrassed.  Russ stopped his deranged flailing to see who Lucy was gesturing to and we locked eyes for a second.  Suddenly, he pulled her to him by the waist and spun her round and round like a rag doll while she screamed for mercy.  This was a classic strategy often utilised by Russ to regain the attention of his latest quarry. To my fury it seemed to work with Lucy too.

I was angry with myself. 
I
wanted to be the one to swing her confidently around the dance floor. 
I
wanted to be the one whose jokes brought a sparkle to her eyes and a smile to her inviting lips. . 

I had barely had a chance to talk to her since her return and now my best friend was once again outshining me with his audacious grin and boyish charm.  How could I show Lucy that I had the potential to be more than just a friend to her?  More importantly, how would I ever have the chance to do so when I was constantly in the shadow of my best friend? 

I decided to be brave and take her up on her offer.  I made my way over to the dance floor and tapped Russ on the shoulder.  "Hey, what's up, Charlie?" he slurred, obviously feeling the effects of the ale he had been drinking all night.

"Can I please cut in?"

Russ looked surprised by my audacity.

"Of course," he said automatically.

I looked at Lucy’s expression and tried to judge whether I had done the right thing.  Her eyes were wide with shock but there was also a glint in them suggesting she was pleased. 

The current upbeat song ended and a slow ballad replaced it.  We looked at each other awkwardly.  For all my fearlessness just seconds before, I began to lose my nerve.  Time seemed to stand still as I stood there and did nothing. The embarrassment I felt was so powerful that I can remember every passing second of it. 

Lucy took a step towards me and grasped my hand. I watched nervously as she placed it at her waist.  I decided she wasn't the only one who could be bold and took her hand in mine, resting it against my chest as we danced. The feel of her so close sent a tingling sensation through me. Her waist felt tiny under the smooth satin material of her dress.  I tried to concentrate but felt dizzy as my heart raced with excitement.

Everything about that moment became locked in my mind, the sweetest of memories but one I would torture myself with in my loneliness.  The flowers she had pinned in her hair, the smell of rose petals on her skin, the soft, elegant curve of her shoulders, the way she closed her eyes as she rested her head on my shoulder.

My lips curled in a proud smile. I glanced over Lucy’s head and caught the look Russ was directing my way.  With his arms crossed tightly in front of his chest, feet planted wide apart, there was no mistaking the fury he felt on seeing us enjoying our closeness.

My old friend viewed life as one long competition. If there was a game he wanted to win it, every time.  When I was his opponent he usually did, but in this encounter it looked as if I had the upper hand.  But that was the wrong way to think, I realised. Lucy deserved better than that. I looked down at the floor and tried to avoid Russ’s furious stare; I was in no mood for confrontation tonight.

Without meaning to I had placed myself in direct competition with my best friend, for the affection of the only girl I had ever cared about. Both Russ and Lucy were extremely important to me and had been since childhood.  These two people had helped to shape the person I was today, I’d be a fool to compromise either friendship.

My relationship with Russ was deepening. We were closer now than we'd ever been.  I was an only child and he was a brother figure to me, an extension of my family. I still wanted him in my life, despite his obvious flaws. 

I would often think about the people we would both become in the future.  I imagined us married, still living in our beloved village with our perfect children, who would tease us about our grey hair and beer bellies.  We would host big parties at our houses and holiday together in exotic places.  My house would have a huge open fire and both families would come together and gather around it on Christmas Eve while we watched films and ate too many mince pies.  Our Christmas tree would be the biggest in the village, decorated with hundreds of coloured lights, twinkling and reflecting off the large bay window in which it stood.  I had it all planned out.  I wanted Russ in my life and Lucy by my side, but I was becoming increasingly aware that I couldn't have both.

The song came to an end and without a word to Lucy I headed over to the bar, avoiding Russ's gaze and hoping I had done enough to calm the flames of his jealousy.  I saw Lucy spot him in the crowd and head in his direction.  I ordered a double vodka and decided that the best thing was for me to stay at the bar.  I knew that I must seem antisocial to the others but I just couldn't face Russ after my slow dance with Lucy.  He would inevitably tease me about it, attempt to bring me down to express his displeasure at what he had just witnessed.

I stared at the ice cubes floating in my glass, wondering how everything could get so complicated so fast.  Was Lucy just another challenge for Russ or were his feelings about her genuine?  And where had Lucy's sudden self-confidence come from?

I heard familiar laughter over the incessant wailing that blared out of the speakers.  The music was fast, with a thumping beat that pulsated through my body.  It was not to my taste.  I preferred the smooth, soulful sounds of The Beatles or The Kinks. Modern music held no interest for me. 

I peered over my shoulder and watched Russ lean towards Lucy, bent at the knees so that they were face to face. His hands were on her shoulders.  I'd seen him do this before. The aim was to make the girl feel like she had all his attention and was therefore extremely important to him.  The intensity in his eyes seemed to make women melt. They fell for it every time.