The Last Sin Eater (9 page)

Thankful Fagan was keeping the man’s attention fixed, I climbed a tree where I could see more clearly what was happening. Sitting high in my leafy bower, I watched the man pace and raise his arms. It was a long time before he stopped talking and sat down again. Fagan had never once come out into the open, and he was in no hurry to leave his hiding place now that the man was finished saying whatever he had to say. I wondered why Fagan was staying put. Maybe he was too scared to move. Maybe the man had cursed him so he couldn’t.

I was gathering my courage to go check on Fagan when I saw him wriggling on his belly through the tall grass. By the time he reached safety and could get up and dust himself off, I was there, waiting. “Why’d you stay so long?”

“I wanted to hear more.”

“What’d he say?”

“Lot of things.”

“Like what?”

“Go listen for yourself,” he snarled. When he raised his head and glared at me, I saw the tear tracks down his dusty cheeks. Before I got over the surprise and had the sense to ask why he’d been crying, he’d already run off, leaving me standing in the shadows with my mouth open.

Fagan’s tears over the man’s words filled me with a lethal curiosity. I wanted desperately to hear what the man of God had come to say but knew I’d better find the sin eater before daring it. We’d never had anyone like this stranger in our highland valley before, and I was in terrible haste because I didn’t know how long he’d stay. God could call him away anytime, and then I’d never hear what the Lord had told him to say.

So I set off to find the sin eater again. He hadn’t come for the preserves. They were still sitting on Granny’s headstone. Maybe he didn’t like blackberries. Maybe he didn’t like me.

Soon as I fed the chickens and collected the eggs the next morning, I left. All along the river, there were places to cross over, but I waited until I saw the creek that came down from Dead Man’s Mountain running into it. Looking up at the craggy peak, I was filled with despair, wondering how I was ever going to find a man who didn’t want to be found. There must’ve been a thousand hiding places up there.

“Talk to the lady,” Lilybet said, having kept me company.

I found the small cabin again with no trouble and took up watch in a cascade of mountain laurel, trying to gather my courage. The lady was out working in her garden and looked harmless enough. But who was she?
What
was she that no one even mentioned her?

“Come on,” Lilybet said, standing out in the open and beckoning to me. Rising from the thicket, I stepped out into the open. “Call out to her.”

“Hello!” I called out.

The woman straightened sharply, staring at me.

“Hello,” I said again.

“Go away!” She backed a step and looked over her shoulder toward the mountain. “Go away, I tell you!”

I’d come too far to retreat now. “I’m looking for the sin eater.”

She hesitated, lowering her hoe. “Ring the bell.”

“No one’s died.”

She cocked her head in surprise. Her stance relaxed some. “Why, ye’re Cadi Forbes, ain’t ye?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Well, go on home, child. Ye dunna belong at this end of the valley. This is no-man’s-land and no place for you.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I belong here.”

“Please. I want to find him. Can ye help me?”

“Leave the mon be! He’s got sorrow enow without ye adding to it. Now, go home. Go home and stay away from here!” Rather than return to her gardening, she went inside her cabin and closed the door.

I stood for a few minutes longer, waiting and hoping she would come out again. I didn’t go home. I went back into the cascade of mountain laurel and sat down to watch and wait upon her. She came out after a long time and returned to her work.

Who was she? And why was she living so close to a forbidden place?Why was she all by herself? Everyone in our valley had family aplenty, even Miz Elda’s who’d chosen to go over the mountains. Maybe that was what happened. Maybe this woman’s kin had gone on to Kantuckee or back to the Carolinas.

She straightened once and wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. Leaning on her hoe for a few minutes, she gazed toward the mountain again. She stood staring up at the peak for a few minutes and then went back to work. Once or twice, she seemed troubled by something and glanced my way. I supposed she was like an animal that sensed the presence of an enemy. I was not her enemy, but she didn’t know that. Not yet, at least. If she’d only let me get closer, I’d tell her myself.

When the sun was high and hot, she took up her weed bucket and carried it to a burn pile where she dumped it. The rake and hoe she took inside. When she came out again, she was carrying an empty jar. She headed straight to the bee gums standing near a sorrel tree. There were four of them, big and active with bees. Granny had always robbed our hives at night and used smoke to put the bees into a stupor before raising the lid. This lady opened a hive in broad daylight without the least sign of fear. I thought for sure she would be stung unto death, for I could hear those bees from where I was hiding in the curtain of laurel. They came swirling out and around her in a gray, humming cloud.

She stood perfectly still and calm, arms hanging limp. They covered her hair, shoulders, and part of her face, resting upon her like a great bee-shawl, sagging her with their weight. Covered like that, she leaned over slowly and lifted one of the combs out, holding it over her jar. The amber honey drained into it until it was glistening gold in the sunshine. Laying the comb atop the jar, she replaced the bee gum lid and started slowly back toward the cabin. The bees lifted away like smoke above her, swirling and humming and returning to the hive. By the time she neared her garden, all had gone from her. Lighter of foot, she went up the steps and disappeared inside her cabin.

Entranced, I sat back on my heels, amazed at what I’d seen. Leaning forward, I peered through the tangle of leafy vines wondering what more magic this woman could perform.

I saw her a while later, leaning out the side window. Cupping her hands, she whistled, a high melodic sound like birdsong. She placed something wrapped in a cloth on the sill and drew back inside where I couldn’t see her.

I waited a long time to see what would happen next.

Nothing did.

She leaned out twice more to whistle that melody. The day wore on until I knew I had to leave. Creeping away, I glanced back once and saw her framed in the window, leaning out and looking up at Dead Man’s Mountain.

E I G H T

"Ctharms Bees, does she? Miz Elda said. Never knew that about her, but it dunna surprise me much. She always was fey.”

“Ye know her? Who is she?”

“Her name’s Bletsung Macleod. No one’s hadmuch to do with her for years. Or maybe that ain’t right. Maybe it’s the other way around.” She got her thoughtful expression, staring off toward the mountains. “Macleods never were much for company.” She looked at me. The troubled look gave way, and she got a set one instead, as though she’d made some kind of decision about something I didn’t ken. “Her father died of a sudden.”

“How?”

“No one knows how. Not that anyone cared. The man was cold cruel. When he was dead and buried, his girl stayed as much to herself as he ever did, though not for the same reasons, I reckon.”

“What reasons?”

“Ye’re full of questions, ain’t ye?” She leaned back, rocking her chair slowly in the cool morning sunshine. “Douglas Mac-leod dinna like people much. Had no trust for them. His daughter was the only thing he cared about, if care is a proper way of putting it.”

“Did she have a mother?”

“Aye, she had a mother. Rose O’Sharon was her name. She up and died of a spring. By her own hand, some say. No one really knows for sure, just like no one really knows how DouglasMac-leod died. But it got people worrying. Some were already saying they’d seen Rose O’Sharon’s taint wandering the hills, and they were afeared when Douglas Macleod died, there’d be two haunting our highlands by night. Summat had to be done about it.” She sighed, leaning her head back. “And summat was.”

“What?”

“We chose the sin eater.”

Chose? I sat up straighter, surprised. “I thought he was always here.”

“Seems like, but that ain’t the truth of it. It was Brogan Kai’s father, Laochailand Kai, who brought us back to the old ways.” She stopped rocking and looked at me. “Ye see, we had sin eaters in Scotland and Wales. It were a custom I thought well left behind, but the old Kai wanted it otherwise. So the men threw lots into a mazer, and all the women stood by praying it wouldn’t fall and be one of their own.” She closed her eyes as though the memory pained her. “The man whose name was drawn left that very night with Laochailand Kai’s sin upon him, and that of Rose O’Sharon and Douglas Macleod as well.”

“Then what happened?”

She looked at me with impatience. “Nothing happened. He went to live on Dead Man’s Mountain, and no one has spoken his name aloud since.”

“Will ye tell me his name, Miz Elda?”

“No, child, I will not. It would do ye no good. The man knows his place and keeps to it. It was God’s will he be chosen, and he accepted that.”

She seemed so troubled, I leaned closer. “Should he not have been the one?”

“What a fool question.” She let out her breath and turned her face away. “It was a long time ago, Cadi. Too long ago to be undone.”

“It burdens her,” Lilybet said, sitting on the bottom step and looking up at us.

I could see she was right. “Did he have family, Miz Elda?”

“Aye, but they’re all gone now.”

“Dead?”

“No, dearie. Except for his mother, that is. She died a few years after the lottery. Of a broken heart would be my guess. I dunna think there was a day after his leaving that she dinna weep for him and what he’d become. As for the rest, his father and brothers and sisters, they couldn’t abide one of their own being a sin eater. They was so ashamed of him, they went on to Kan-tuckee and we ain’t heard from ’em since.”

I felt the prick of tears and bowed my face so the old woman would not see. It seemed the more I knew of the sin eater, the closer I felt to him. Oh, I knew shame. I knew what it was to lose the love of those I held most dear. The lot had fallen upon that poor man, but it was my own sin that had fallen upon me and was crushing me still. Yet, the sin eater was more than I, for he knew and accepted his fate while I fought hard against mine.

Why had he accepted it so readily and just gone away to live on that lonely mountain? “I have to find him, Miz Elda.”

“I know, child, but I don’t know what good it’ll do ye. Or the rest of us. Except bring more trouble down on us.”

“You’ve never tried to talk me out of it.”

Reaching out, she ran her hand gently over my hair. “I’d go with ye if these old legs were strong enow to carry me past the meadow.”

I took her old gnarled hand and held it between mine. Her skin was so soft it felt like the thinnest leaf. The blue veins stood out. “Do ye think if he takes my sins away, Mama will forget?” When she didn’t answer, I looked up and saw the tears running down her wrinkled cheeks.

“No, child. She’ll never forget, but maybe she’ll be able to forgive.”

I couldn’t sleep that night and crept out of bed. Sitting on the steps, I looked up at the night sky with the sparkling stars and the full moon. An owl hooted and crickets chirped. There was no wind and the air was refreshing cool. I looked toward the valley where the man of God was.

“You want to go down there, don’t you?” Lilybet said, sitting down beside me.

“He’s probably sleeping.”

“No, he isn’t. His heart is as burdened as yours, Katrina Anice.”

“How do you know?”

“He hasn’t done what he came to do.”

“And what’s that?”

“He’ll tell you if you let him.”

“I’m afraid of him.”

“It’s not him you fear, Katrina Anice. It’s God.”

“Shouldn’t I be?”

“You can’t run from him forever.”

“Who ye talking to, Cadi?” Iwan said from behind me, startling me something terrible. I jumped.

“Easy, girl,” he said and sat down where Lilybet had been.

“I was just thinking.”

“It’s too late to be thinking out loud.”

“Can’t help it.”

He leaned forward and clasped his hands between his knees. With a sigh, he looked slowly around the yard and along the porch, his troubled gaze finally coming to rest on me. “Were ye talking to Elen, Cadi?”

“No.”

“Ye sure?”

“I’m sure.”

He frowned, searching my face in the moonlight. “Ye still looking for the sin eater?” he whispered.

I shrugged and looked away. A lie might have set his mind at rest for a time, but it wouldn’t have convinced him.

He was silent for a long time, looking off toward the valley.

I broke the silence between us. “Do ye ever think about hearing what that man has to say, Iwan?”

“I’ve thought about it, but I’m leaving well enow alone.”

“Because the Kai told everyone to stay away?”

He turned his head and gave me a sad look. When he looked away again, I could see the muscle working in his cheek. “Ye gotta have order, Cadi. The Kai’s only trying to protect us.”

“But the man’s from God, Iwan.”

“So he says. That don’t mean it’s so.”

I told him in a hushed whisper about the thunder and lightning. He looked less certain after that. “Do ye think the Kai would change his mind if he knew that?”

“It’s hard to say, Cadi. He’s set against him.”

“I don’t think that man’s gonna leave, Iwan.”

“He’ll leave, all right.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“He’ll die.”

My heart dropped at his words, and tingles of gooseflesh rose on my arms and legs. Would they really go that far?

Iwan turned his head and looked at me. When his eyes met mine, he frowned. “Winter’s not so long away. He’ll go of his own by then. The snows’ll drive him away.”

I knew that wasn’t what he thought. Shivering, I shook my head, afeared what would happen. “You’ve got to talk ’em out of it.”

“He’s come to stir people up. The Kai’s just trying to keep us together. And he’s right, Cadi. No one’s got the right to come into our mountains and tell us what to think and how to live.

No one.”

“Is that what he’s doing?”

“The Kai says he’s come to set sons against fathers and fathers against sons, and we ain’t gonna let that happen. The Kai’s right. The old ways have held us together.”

“All he done is talk.”

“So far.His voice carries,” he said grimly. “Now, come on.”He took my hand and stood. “Time ye were back in bed and asleep.”

I lay awake on my cot, listening to the night sounds and thinking about the man of God down in the valley. What Iwan said was true. There was more to him than a loud voice. His words stuck like burrs on wool, pricking and making me uncomfortable. Nothing he had said had blown away with the wind and been forgotten.

Dreams plagued me, fiery dreams of men with torches surrounding the man of God. He made no effort to fight back or run away. “Ye’ve come out as against a thief with your weapons for to take me, and I sat here daily by your river trying to teach ye. Why did ye not listen to the word of the Lord?” The Kai struck him in the face. Blood trickled from a cut, and the man stood firm, looking back at him grimly. “This is your hour, and the power of darkness.”

With curses of rage, the men took hold of him and beat him and rolled his lifeless body into the river. I watched as he was swept into the currents of the Narrows and awakened just as he went over the falls.

It was barely sunrise. Papa was not in bed. Throwing off my quilt, I hurried outside, looking for him. When I didn’t see him, I ran straight down the mountainside through the forest to the meadow without a single thought as to what I was doing. Lungs burning, I ran on through the high grass. Birds burst from the ground and winged into the air, startled by my mad race. I didn’t stop until I reached the riverbank. Panting and holding my aching sides, I hid behind a stand of brush and peered over.

Smoke curled up from a small fire by the riverbank, but the man of God was nowhere in sight.

The terrible dream had been true. The man of God was dead and gone. I just knew it, in my heart, I knew. So sure then was I that Papa and Iwan had brought the blood guilt upon themselves that I cried out in despair, sat down, put my head in my hands, and wept. We were lost. We were all lost. I was not the only one on the road to hell, and it grieved me sorely.

“Who’s there?”

Fear and relief can marry in a start, and so they did when I heard the man call out from across the soft rippling waters. Heart stopping, my head came up and I saw him rising from the ground. Why had he been lying facedown in the dirt so far from the warmth of the fire?

Looking around, I saw there was no escape without being seen. Crouching lower, I kept myself hidden from his sight, wondering what to do now that sunrise was coming upon us. Would I have to sit here all day until night came again before I could creep away to the safety of the woods and mountains again? Oh, why had I come? Did I really think my father and brother could kill a man who was doing them no earthly harm?

“Who has come?” the man said again, loud enough this time to make the hair stand on the back of my neck.

“’Tis only I, sir,” I said, afeared he would bring the thunder and let the whole valley know I’d gone against the Kai’s command.

“Do ye hail by a name?”

“I dare not tell ye, sir.”

He came closer to the river’s edge. “A child ye are by the sound of your voice.” He cocked his head. “Are ye the girl who ran from me when I was on the path above the falls?”

I hunched lower, face hot, heart racing. He was like a hound. Should I lie and throw him off the scent? I didn’t have the chance, for he spoke first.

“Cross the Jordan. Come into the Promised Land. Come hear the word of the Lord.”

“I can’t!”

“Can’t or won’t?” he called back without hesitation.

“I
can’t.”

“What holds ye back?” He came closer still, his feet touching the cleansing stream, craning his neck from side to side trying to see me.

“Don’t look this way! Please don’t look for me.”

“Are ye afraid of God?”

“Yes!” Cringing, I lowered my head and covered my face.

“‘The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.’” Shuddering, I raised my head slightly, peering through the branches, hungering and thirsting to hear what he had come to say and yet afraid to do so, knowing I was not worthy. “I want to come. I do. But I can’t. Not yet.”

“Don’t wait. You never know what the morrow will bring.”

“I have to find the sin eater first.”

“Who did ye say?”

Sniffling, I backed away. “Look away. Please look away so I won’t die.”

“Child . . .”

“Please don’t call down the lightning on me.”

“I’m not God.” He said more, though I couldn’t hear clearly enough to make out the words. Lowering his head, his shoulders slumped, and I thought for an instant he was crying. I stayed no longer than that. Before I had gone far into the forest, someone grabbed me from behind and yanked me around.

“I saw ye out there,” Brogan Kai said, his dark eyes glowing like hot coals. “Going against me. Going agin’ your pa.” He slapped me, holding my arm so I’d not fall.

“I dinna—”

“Liar.”
He slapped me again, harder this time, so that I tasted blood in my mouth. “Deceitful child. Vile. It’s
you
who’s brought this upon us!”

“No!” Struggling to get away from him, I screamed. Grabbing my throat, he cut off the sound.