The Last Sin Eater (10 page)

“Cadi!” Papa’s voice shouted from somewhere higher on the mountainside. “Cadi, where are ye?”

The Kai leaned down, his hot breath in my face. “If ye go out there again, I’ll kill you. I swear it on me own soul. Better one should die, than all suffer.” His hand tightened, cutting off my air, cutting off the blood. When blackness started to pull me down, he let me go and disappeared into the woods.

“Cadi!”
Moments later Papa turned me over and held me in his arms. “Who did this to ye? Who did this?”

Crying, I clutched his shirt, my throat hurting so much I could scarcely draw breath let alone tell him anything. Nor did I dare. I had never seen such a look on my father’s face before. Death was in his eyes and hell coming after. “It was the stranger, wasn’t it?”

“No,” I croaked out, shaking my head, crying harder.

Papa looked toward the valley floor and then dismissed the idea. Even I knew the man could not have come so far so fast and returned again to his place across the river. Papa looked at me again. “Was it the thing who keeps ye company?”

Thing? What was he talking about? What
thing
did he mean? Dizzy and feeling the shadows closing in, I shut my eyes, drifting in pain.

Lifting me in his arms, Papa carried me home. “Go for Ger-vase Odara,” I heard him say as he came through the door.

Vaguely, as in a dream, I saw Mama rise from her spinning. “What’s happened?”

“Do as you’re told, woman, unless ye’d like to lose another child!”

I heard nothing after that.

N I N E

"Drink, Cadi. Come on now, child, drink. That’s it.”

My throat ached.

“Tell me what happened, dearie. Tell your old friend, Ger-vase.” She dabbed a cool cloth on my forehead and smiled down at me tenderly.

“It wasn’t him,” I whispered hoarsely. It hurt to speak, but I had to make her understand. “It wasna the man of God.”

“We know that, my dear. He has not moved from his place by the river.” She continued to dab my face gently. “Tell me who it was.”

If I told her, she would tell Papa, and Papa might want to do something. He might even try. If I said anything, I knew something terrible would happen, and it would be on my head. I looked away from Gervase Odara’s all-too-seeing eyes.

“You’re safe now, Cadi. You con tell me what happened.”

Safe? Who could be safe from a man who held power in the palm of his hand? Everyone bowed to the will of the Kai. Everyone did as he told them to do.

Except me, and I hadna been thinking.

And Fagan.

Fagan!
What had become of Fagan? I hadna seen him in days.

“Ease now, my dear. Lie back and rest awhile.”

“I want to go.”

“Go where, child?”

I couldn’t tell her. If I blurted out Fagan’s name, she’d wonder why I wanted to see him now, what had brought him to mind. And then the truth would come out, and disaster would follow. Weeping, I sank back onto my cot. Gervase Odara leaned over to me, speaking gently, stroking me with the cool cloth. My head felt fuzzy and my eyelids so heavy I could scarcely keep them open.

“Rest awhile, my dear. That’s it. Close your eyes and sleep.”

“Did she tell ye who attacked her?” I heard Papa ask softly.

“No, but I think I know what it is,” she whispered and stood, moving away from my cot. “Summat tried to choke her to death.”

“The taint?”

“It’s a child keeps her company. The bruises on her neck weren’t made by a child, but the child’s master.”

“The devil himself, ye’re saying?” Mama whispered fearfully.

“Who else could it be? Nothing like this has ever happened in our valley before.”

“What about Macleod?” Papa said, almost hopefully.

“Long since departed, and Rose O’Sharon with him. No, their souls was put to rest years ago by the sin eater. This canna be laid at their doorstep. Nor even Laochailand Kai’s. Summat dark is at work upon your Cadi.”

“What’s to be done about it?”

“I con make her a talisman, but I’ll need Gorawen’s hair. Fia?”

I thought of the necklace of hair Mama had braided with Granny’s white hair. She wore it every day, touching it now and then in fond memory. Maybe it took her back to better times, times long before I was born.

“Could ye not use summat else?” Mama said. “It’s all I have of her.”

“And ye’d not spare even a strand of it for your own daughter?” Papa said. “A curse on ye, Fia! A curse on ye for your unforgivin’ soul.”

I heard a door close with a hard thud and Mama crying. “He doesna understand what I feel and I canna tell him. I canna tell anyone . . .”

Gervase Odara spoke soft words of comfort, but they did no good.

It was several days before I was allowed out of the house, even to do chores. Mama had given up her mourning jewelry after all, and the beautifully braided white-hair necklace now hung around my neck. With a child’s wisdom, I knew it would do me no good against the Kai. Or anything else for that matter. And it had not kept Lilybet away, for she had come to me each day and sat on the cot with me, keeping me company while Mama was out and about her chores.

“Do not be afraid of the truth, Katrina Anice. The truth will set you free.”

“The truth will get Papa killed.”

“Oh, my dear, trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding.”

“It’s ye who dunna understand. The Kai . . . the Kai is all powerful.”

“The Kai is but a man. A poor, broken, frightened man who needs the truth as much as you do.”

I remembered the look in his eyes, the feel of his hand gripping my throat. I did not understand where she got such foolish notions.

“Seek and ye shall find, Katrina Anice. Ask and the door shall be opened.”

“Go away. Ye’re giving me a headache.”

And she went, quietly, just as I asked her to do.

The first place I went when I was free again was down the mountainside to the edge of the forest so I could look across the meadowlands to the river. The man of God was still there. And, like a pestilence, avoided by all.

Except Fagan, perhaps.

What of Fagan?

I went looking for him, and found Glynnis and Cullen instead, picking blackberries near the creek. “Ain’t seen him since yesterday,” Glynnis said, popping several plump berries into her mouth and picking another to drop in her bucket.

“He was fishing,” Cullen said.

“Where?”

“In the river,” he said with a smirk.

Rolling my eyes, I looked at Glynnis.

“Down where Kai Creek runs in.” She picked another blackberry and ate it.

“Quit eating ’em or we’ll be here all day!” Cullen yelled at his sister. Turning, she gave him a simpering smile, spilled the contents of her bucket into her hand, and ate them all. Uttering a growl, he started after her as she shrieked with laughter. She hopped out of the blackberry briars and raced for home. “I’m telling Mama you made me spill ’em!”

Fagan wasn’t at the creek. Climbing a tree, I looked toward the copse of bushes near the man of God, but he wasn’t there either. At least my mind was at ease about some harm coming to him. If he was out and about yesterday fishing, it was a sure thing his father had not killed him yet.

After wandering around for the better part of the morning looking for him, I gave up and went to visit with Miz Elda, and there, plain as the nose on my face, was Fagan sitting on her front porch, chewing straw and passing the time of day. “I’ve been looking for ye hither and yon!” I said, fit to be tied and locked away in a woodshed.

He blinked. “What for?”

“To see if ye was all right, that’s what for!”

His expression darkened. “Why wouldn’t I be? You was the one attacked. Not me.”

What could I say to that without blurting out it was his own father who’d done it?

“By the devil himself, I heard,” Miz Elda said. I blushed, avoiding Fagan’s steady, if somewhat bemused, gaze. The old woman sat staring at me. “Got nothing to say about it?”

“What’s to say?”

“Tight-lipped. Now, there’s a change.”

I sat glumly on the bottom step and kept my back to her. Her chair creaked as she began rocking again. “No flowers today, Fagan. She must be carrying a grudge agin’ me for something.”

I glanced up at her, annoyed. “What reason would I have?”

“No reason. But then, most folks don’t need reasons for holding grudges, leastwise not up in these mountains.” She rocked some more. “Since that ain’t what’s bothering her, Fagan, I reckon she must’ve thought I was dead and buried.”

“I did not!” I turned to stare up at her, appalled at the suggestion.

“I don’t see no flowers.”

I turned away again.

“Well?” she said after a long pause.

Tired and frustrated, I got up and marched off. I half expected Fagan to catch up with me, but he stayed put. The old woman was growingmore cantankerous every time I saw her. Returning with a bouquet of mountain daisies, I held them out to her.

“What am I going to do with ’em out here? Put ’em in some water.”

When I went inside, I saw the flowers I had brought her last time still in the mason jar. The stalks were wilted, the petals dry and scattered upon her table. I thought of Mama tearing up the flowers I brought her, and here was Miz Elda keeping ’em until they was long dead and should be thrown out.

“Fresh
water!” Miz Elda called from outside.

All the hurt and frustration seeped out of me. I made the trek to the creek, scrubbed out the slimy mason jar, filled it with fresh water, and carried it back. Smiling, I arranged the daisies, swept the dead, dried petals into my hand, and went back outside. I sat on the top step this time, just opposite Fagan, and leaned back, making myself more comfortable. I felt more at home on Miz Elda’s porch than with Papa and Mama and Iwan.

Miz Elda fixed her rheumy, blue eyes on me. “Now, what happened to ye, child? And tell us the truth.”

I pinched pleats in my dress and avoided her gaze. “I don’t rightly remember.”

“Ye remember all right. Ye just ain’t willing to say.” I looked at Fagan and then away.

Miz Elda caught that look, and her eyes narrowed. “Where was ye coming from when it happened?”

“I’d just been down by the river, where the man of God’s camped.”

Fagan’s head came up, his quiet gaze more intense. “Thought ye was scared of him and never going back.”

“I dreamed he’d been killed.”

“And?” Miz Elda said. She stopped rocking.

“He ain’t dead,” Fagan said.

“I was asking Cadi.”

“He’s hale and hearty,” I told her. “He was lying on the ground on his face when I come up on the other side of the river, but he got up fast enow and started in talkin’ to me.”

Fagan leaned forward. “He
saw
you?”

“No, but he heard me.”

“What’d he say to ye, chile?”

“Nothing I could understand, Miz Elda. He kept telling me to cross the Jordan, wherever that is.”

“The Jordan,” she repeated, leaning her head back. “The Jordan. Where have I heard that before?” She made a sound of disgust. “There are times when things tickle my mind, and I can’t scratch ’em out.”

Fagan frowned. “What kind of things?”

“Things just out of reach. Things my mother said to me when I was but a wee chile. I can half remember ’em sometimes when I’m dozing, and then they just slip away like flour through a sifter. Frustratin’ as all get-out. It’s like having a buzzing gnat in your ear. I can’t swat ’em dead without deafening myself in the process. Ain’t even sure why they’re comin’ on me now, after all these years and me so near the grave. You’d think an ol’ woman like me’d earned some peace in her old age.” She sighed heavy. “Sure do wish I could hear that man down there.”

She rocked again and looked at Fagan. “It’d give me pure pleasure to have him come up for a cup of elderberry wine.”

“Don’t look at me! I ain’t askin’ him. Pa’s warned everyone to stay clear of him.”

“Oh, your pa. Ain’t stopped you before.”

Fagan turned his head and glared at me.

“Don’t go looking at me, Fagan Kai. I dinna tell her.”

“No one had to tell me. Plain as the nose on his face.”

“What is?” Fagan said belligerently, testing her.

“Ye telling me I’m wrong?”

Pressing his lips together, he didn’t say anything.

“You and Cadi got a lot in common.”

“We ain’t got nothing in common,” he said, annoyed with both of us.

She cackled, enjoying his discomfort. “Well, you’re both listening to voices other than your ma and pa’s.”

“What voices you talking about?”

“Well, now, if I knew that, I’d be a whole lot wiser than I am, now wouldn’t I? But I’ll hazard a guess. Cadi’s been listening to her heart, and you’ve been listening to your head, and neither one of you are getting anywhere that I can see.”

Fagan gave me a look to say she was just an old woman who was rambling on, but sometimes I wondered if there weren’t more to Miz Elda’s words than what she said. Sometimes I had the feeling she was testing us both. Or prodding. Hadn’t she been the one to point the way to Dead Man’s Mountain? Not that it had done me much good.

Now she was pointing toward that man by the river.

“Ever thought of asking your pa why he’s so dead set against him?” she said to Fagan.

I jumped to Fagan’s defense. “Why would he want to do that when asking about the sin eater got him knocked clean off the porch?” By his glance, I could tell he did not appreciate my help.

“Pa said he dinna want anyone going near the man,” he said, looking away. “That was the end of it.”

Miz Elda gave a snort. “That’s enow to start things off.”

Fagan threw his straw away. “Why do ye hate him so much?”

“Hate’s a mighty strong word. I don’t hate him, boy. It’s just that he takes too much on himself. Always did. Ye canna think for people. They gotta think for themselves.”

There was more to Brogan Kai than wanting to think for people, but I didn’t want to talk about the look in his eyes or his hand squeezing off the air to my lungs and blood to my head.

Miz Elda sighed. “Sure do wish I could hear that man. I ain’t for this world for much longer, and it sure would be nice to know what the Lord has to say afore I have to go and meet him face-to-face.” She looked between the two of us. “If one of ye was brave enow, ye could extend the man an invitation to visit a poor, sick, old woman with one foot in the grave and the other on shaky ground.”

“Don’t say that, Miz Elda! Why do ye have to talk about dying all the time?”

“Why wouldn’t I talk about it? I’m old and it’s the way of all flesh. No getting around it.”

“Sometimes ye sound like you’re in an all-fire hurry!”

“Well, there’s nothing holding me here. My family’s all gone over the mountain, and my friends is all dead.”