The Killing of Olga Klimt (18 page)

‘How did they look at it?’

‘With an air of amused contempt. It didn’t help that at one point he lost his temper and accused them of serving a corrupt undemocratic system, of lacking emotional intelligence and – what was it? – oh yes, of using bully-boy tactics. That wasn’t wise at all.’

‘So Miss Frayle is out of it? After everything! Lucky Miss Frayle.’

‘Lucky Miss Frayle indeed. I believe they intend to pay her only what is known as a “routine visit”. She is most certainly not in danger of any immediate incarceration. She may have been our prime suspect, but she isn’t theirs.’

‘They don’t think the murder of Joan Selwyn was a case of mistaken identity?’

‘I may be wrong, my love, but I had the distinct feeling they thought the idea a little on the fanciful side.’

‘We didn’t think it at all fanciful!’

‘We are not exactly paragons of pragmatic, down-to-earth thinking, are we? As far as the police are concerned, a young woman called Joan Selwyn has been stabbed to death on the doorstep of a house occupied by a foreign girl, one Olga Klimt, who is the mistress of the young wastrel whose former girlfriend until not so very long ago the victim was – or had been – and that is all there is to it.’

‘How unimaginative! How crass!’ Antonia fumed. ‘Do they suspect Charlie as well?’

‘I don’t know, but as I pointed out, they didn’t take to him at all … They will soon find out he couldn’t have done it since at the time of the murder he was at an exclusive private clinic in Bayswater. Still, they think it damned suspicious that he should have monkeyed about with the body. At the moment I think they are concentrating on Olga. I believe that Olga is their main suspect.’

‘Poor, poor Olga,’ Antonia said. ‘My heart goes out to her. What about you? Did they treat you as a nuisance?’

‘I should say they did! Pretty much.’ Payne scrunched up his face. ‘They simply couldn’t understand what I was doing at Philomel Cottage, given that I was neither a relative nor a friend of Mr Eresby’s or Miss Klimt’s. I was not a doctor, neither was I a solicitor or a priest. It was the inspector who pointed out these rather obvious facts to me. So what was I doing at the house?’

‘You could have said you were a social worker.’

‘Do I
look
like a social worker?’

‘You didn’t tell them you were playing at detectives, did you?’

‘No, of course not. But I think the inspector guessed. There was a satirical glint in his eye, though that might have been occasioned by the sight of my pipe.’

‘Did they allow you to smoke it?’

‘I was already smoking it when they arrived. They asked me to put it out. It was all rather grim.’ Payne pursed his lips. ‘There was Olga crying her eyes out and Charlie staring down at his slippers, his face a picture of guilt. I am sorry to have to say this, my love, but I didn’t care for any of the representatives of the law. Not one little bit. I know we are supposed to be on the same side, but there are certain things one simply has to draw the line at.’

‘Such as? Banning your pipe?’

‘Not only that. The sergeant actually called me ‘Hugh’ at one point.’

‘Did he really?’

‘Yes! That particular outrage took place soon after I had given them my full name and military title. “Ex-service” used to count for a bit more once upon a time, but there he was, this ungainly youth, addressing me as “Hugh”. I couldn’t believe my ears and I actually glanced over my shoulder since I thought at first there was another Hugh in the room, his closest friend, perhaps or maybe his best man? I managed to restrain myself with tremendous difficulty.’

‘They took a statement from each one of you?’

‘They most certainly did. As well as fingerprints. Everything happened exactly as it says in books. They also looked us up on their computer system, to see if we had any convictions, cautions, fines, outstanding debts or whatever. They discovered that Charlie had perpetrated eleven driving offences, which resulted in his being deprived of his driving licence. Olga Klimt, on the other hand, had no black marks against her name. When asked what she did, she said she was in “party catering”. Rather neat, that, don’t you think? And her Lithuanian passport was in perfect order, thank God.’

‘Did they look for the murder weapon?’

‘They conducted an incredibly thorough search for it. I can’t fault them on that count. They appeared to be looking for a knife with a thin blade of the stiletto variety, but they failed to find any object matching that description anywhere inside the house or in the garden. They will no doubt continue their search tomorrow morning. They were really cross with Charlie for moving the body, did I say? I mean, really cross.’

‘They didn’t arrest either of them, did they?’

‘No. I heard the inspector warn them that they should be available for further questioning.’ Payne reached out
for his glass of Scotch and put his feet up on the coffee table. ‘Let’s take a glance at the crucial times in the affair, shall we?’

‘It is half-past-midnight, Hugh.’

‘It won’t take a moment. I have written it all down. Take a dekko, my love. I’ve done some jottings. I want you to take a dekko. You are after all the expert.’

‘I am nothing of the sort. I hate timetables.’ Antonia sighed. ‘I am exhausted. I suggest we go to bed.’

‘No, not yet. Let’s do it while it’s all fresh. Take a dekko.’ Payne pointed with the stem of his pipe. ‘Olga gets a phone call at quarter-past-five, asking her to go to Dr Bishop’s clinic. The caller says it is very urgent. Olga leaves the house five minutes later, at twenty-past-five. She runs to the Tube station. Miss Frayle says she arrived at Philomel Cottage at about a quarter-to-six, that’s when she found the body. The body was still warm. We assume that Miss Frayle was telling the truth, don’t we?’

‘I believe she was telling the truth, yes.’

‘That means that Joan Selwyn must have been stabbed just a short while earlier, say, between twenty-five-minutes-past five and twenty-to-six, give or take a minute? Does that strike you as plausible?’

‘It does. Exceedingly plausible.’ Antonia yawned.

‘You don’t think it’s plausible?’

‘I do, but I happen to be mortally tired. Sorry, but I feel a little sick. I have been driving around in the dark. I want to go to bed.’ Antonia rose.

‘Who do you think did the stabbing?’

‘I haven’t an earthly notion.’

‘Really?’

‘Really.’

‘Where are you going?’

‘To bed, Hugh. To bed. I suggest we continue our discussion tomorrow morning, if we must.’

‘What d’you mean, if we must? Of course we must!’

Sieg Mortimer was talking to Billy Selkirk. ‘Shocking state of affairs, I know, old man, but do try to get some brekkers into your system. There’s Wilkin & Sons Tiptree Little Scarlet Strawberry Conserve. I got that specially for you. I hope you don’t think me callous or unfeeling. Remember what we agreed?’

‘We agree about so many things.’

‘That’s true. We walk in complete agreement. But I meant specifically about death and the soul. Death is the absolute end and there is nothing we can possibly do about it. It doesn’t help to brood. We don’t believe in a soul, do we?’

‘No.’

‘In the same way as we find the idea of collective unconscious too vague to be of any great importance?’

‘Yes.’

‘In the same way as we don’t revere any twenty-first-century sensitivities, such as shame, guilt and the desire for meaningful relationships?’

‘No.’

After a pause Billy said he couldn’t understand why the police hadn’t contacted him yet. It made him nervous, wondering. He had let
The Times
fall on the floor and it now lay beside his chair. He was staring at the butter dish.

‘Surely, it is a cause for wild rejoicing, that the police haven’t contacted you yet,’ Mortimer said. ‘Perhaps they never will.’

‘Oh, I am sure they will.’

‘Jeepers-creepers, you sound as though you want them to, Selkirk. Remember what we agreed about irrational impulses? To recognise and acknowledge and – remember the rest?’

‘I am afraid I don’t. Sorry, Mortimer, but I feel a bit – odd.’

‘A bit odd? You mean a bit ‘off’? That’s only natural in the circs.’ Mortimer nodded. ‘You were actually about to marry the victim. Sorry to appear callous but I can’t pretend I liked her. And duly suppress, Selkirk. To recognise, acknowledge and duly suppress.’

‘Yes. Sorry, Mortimer.’

Mortimer moved away from the breakfast table. He stood by the window, hands in pockets, his back very straight, looking out. He and Billy looked rather similar in a blonde, blue-eyed, crew-cut
Herrenvolk
kind of way. They wore identical black dressing gowns with pale silver-blue lapels that matched the colour of their eyes. They might have been brothers, or even twins. Anyone entering the room at that moment would have thought them exceedingly good-looking and distinguished and somewhat sinister.

‘But maybe I should contact them and make them aware of my existence?’

‘Why should you want to do that? Are you going to offer to identify the body?’

‘No, no. I hope they don’t ask me to do that. I’d hate it! I am sure that’s already been done. She’s got a father, I think. But the fact remains that I was her fiancé.’

‘Well, no longer. All I can say, Selkirk, is I am awfully glad you are no longer Miss Selwyn’s fiancé. There, I’ve said it. It wouldn’t have worked anyhow. You would have hated being married. It would have made you sick.’

‘It wouldn’t have made me sick.’

‘It
would
have made you sick.’

‘I suppose her father has already identified the body. Or one of those girls.’ Billy spoke abstractedly. ‘I mean one of her flatmates. She shared a flat. I didn’t care for any of them. I thought they were trying to poison Joan’s mind against me. I am sure I am imagining things.’

‘You are not. They were trying to poison her mind against you. They are truly awful, so they managed to do it very well but maybe not well enough.’

‘What do you mean? How – how do you know?’

‘I put them up to it.’

‘I don’t believe you! You didn’t!’

‘I am afraid I did. I couldn’t think of anything else. But Miss Selwyn was determined to get you, so whatever they said fell on deaf ears.’

‘You are fibbing!’

‘I told them things about you, Selkirk. Some true, some not so true. I actually paid one of them, Minerva, I think, to bring a particular fact about you to Joan’s attention … I gave her – um – I can’t remember how much … You don’t believe me?’

‘They are all bitches, but Minerva is the worst!’

‘I thought you liked girls,’ Mortimer said.

‘I do like girls. I don’t happen to like those particular girls.’

‘You don’t like girls. You are in denial.’

‘I am not in denial.’

‘A large part of you still craves conventionality, Selkirk. That accounts for the marriage idea. You have an obstinate way of clinging to a thoroughly illusory notion of yourself. There is a vast crevasse between what you are and what you want to be. You don’t feel
bien dans ta peau
. Well, Minerva said she’d have done it even if I hadn’t paid her. She doesn’t like you for some unknown reason, or else she was lusting after Joan, I don’t know which.’

‘I don’t believe you paid her.’

‘I did pay her. We talked about trust only the other day, didn’t we, Selkirk?’ Mortimer spoke in a quiet voice. ‘Perhaps we need to have another session? Don’t you remember what we agreed?’

‘No, I don’t,’ Billy said defiantly.

‘I am sure you do. “Now these are the laws of the jungle” – Go on, please. I want to hear you recite the rest.’

‘I don’t feel like it.’

‘I said, go on, Selkirk. I know you are upset but I want you to make an effort. Remember what happened the last time you refused to comply? Remember the clothes cupboard and its perfumed depths?’

‘Oh very well. “And many and mighty are they,”’ Billy said sullenly. ‘Sorry, Mortimer, but I keep getting distracted. I suppose I am still in a state of shock. I’ve still got Joan’s mobile.’

‘“But the head and the hoof and the haunch and the hump is –?” What’s the last word? Tell me.’

‘You know perfectly well what the bloody word is.’

‘I do yes, but I want you to say it. It’s important. Say the word, please.’

‘Say it yourself.’

‘Say it, Selkirk. Say it. It rhymes with “they” and “dismay”. Oh, and with “Bombay”. Come on, say it. What is it?’

‘Obey.’

‘Obey. Yes. Well done. You are a gem without price, Selkirk. I believe you need a diversion. Not a distraction. A
diversion
.’

Billy said he needed to be left alone for a bit, if Mortimer didn’t mind.

‘Oh, but I do mind. No, not alone. That would be wrong. The time for enjoyment is always too short and fleeting. As you know I strive to make pleasure something very charming which has no consequences. As it happens, I’ve got two tickets for a show tonight. I won’t tell you which one. It will be a surprise.
You may think it in poor taste, given the circumstances, but that’s a risk I am perfectly willing to take.’ Mortimer hummed a tune under his breath. He was holding a mobile phone. He had started pressing its buttons.

Billy frowned. ‘That’s not your mobile, is it?’

‘No. It’s Joan’s mobile. It’s a Blackberry, to be precise. I think she left it behind the last time she was here. When was it? The day before yesterday?’

‘Last night I meant to tell her I’d got it. She’d probably have come back with me and collected it. She has only one mobile, she said. Only – only she didn’t turn up.’ Billy swallowed.

‘It never crossed your mind you’d never see her again, did it, Selkirk?’

‘No, of course not. What are you doing with her mobile?’

‘I am playing Wingless Officers. It’s a game. Want to have a go? It’s thrilling.’

‘I don’t think you should be handling her phone, Mortimer. The police will most certainly want to see it. You may get into trouble.’

‘The worst I could ever be accused of is thoughtlessness.’

There was a pause, and then Billy asked, ‘What did you do yesterday afternoon? After I left?’