The Journey (21 page)

“Has my father retired yet?”

“I believe he has. He has been under a great strain the last few days, my dear, but, of course, you realize that. Did you wish to see him tonight? I am sure he would not mind rising for you.”

“No, no, it can wait until morning. It is just that — well, I wanted to ask him about the meeting he has arranged with Mr. Darcy. Do you know anything about that?”

My aunt and Jane exchanged glances.

“Come and sit here by the fire, Lizzy.” I did as I was told, while Jane pulled up a chair, and Mrs. Gardiner sat across from me. “My dearest girl, there has been a great deal of talk. The gossip has even been spread in the newspapers. They say that you and Mr. Darcy represented yourselves as married when accosted by those highwaymen.”

“We did, but only to save me.”

“They threatened her with terrible things,” Jane added.

“I can well imagine, and Mr. Darcy is to be commended for his actions, but you must see what this has done to you. When those men go to trial, the story will be broadcast far and wide.”

“Everyone will know that we only pretended to be married, and they will know the reason why. I should think it a good thing!”

Mrs. Gardiner pressed her lips together and twisted her hands. “Lizzy, what kind of arrangements — how were you and Mr. Darcy — that is, where did you stay? Were you placed in the same room all those days . . . and nights?”

It felt like a great stone had fallen on my chest, pulling me down into a whirling vortex of dread. I hung my head and could not face her. “Yes,” I said softly.

“Then you see what I mean.”

“But nothing happened, Aunt. Mr. Darcy did nothing untoward. We did nothing wrong.”

Was I lying? I had omitted what happened at the cave. I had not even shared that with Jane. At times, I fancied that perhaps I had somehow imagined it.

“Must all that be told?” Jane asked. “Why should anyone at the trial have to know where Lizzy and Mr. Darcy slept? It has nothing to do with the crimes those men committed.”

“You are correct, Jane,” my aunt said, “but I doubt there is any way it will not be revealed. As I said before, this has been in the newspapers. Reporters will be present, and questions will be asked. You can hardly expect criminals to protect Lizzy’s reputation.”

She rose to leave. “And even if by some miracle the particulars were not told, just the fact that Mr. Darcy declared you as his wife and you spent four days and nights in captivity together — well, people will assume the worst. Oh, it will not harm Mr. Darcy’s good name, but Lizzy, unless he offers marriage — ”

Marriage!
There, the word had actually been spoken aloud.

“Well, it will do none of us any good to dwell on it tonight. Drink the potion, dear, and let it work its magic. And let us pray that Mr. Darcy will do the right thing or, if he is not willing, that your father and uncle can persuade him otherwise.” My aunt patted my shoulder and kissed my forehead. “Good night, my dear.”

She must have left the room, but I do not remember it. I sat there stunned, unable to move. Why had I been unable to face this inevitability? Why had I allowed my sanguine nature to believe that everything would somehow sort itself out once we were freed? Why was I such a fool?

“Lizzy?” I became conscious that Jane stood before me. “Shall you not do as Aunt instructed and take the medicine?”

Woodenly, I put the glass to my lips and swallowed its contents. I allowed my sister to lead me to the bed and tuck me in. After blowing out the candle, she crawled under the covers on the other side.

“Dearest, try not to worry,” she said. “I have always thought Mr. Darcy a better man than you do. I think all shall work out well.”

“He will not marry me, Jane,” I said, my voice coming out utterly defeated.

“How can you say that? You do not know for sure.”

“I know.”

“But how?”

“Oh, do not ask me,” I cried. I would not begin to tell her how he had ruined her chances with Mr. Bingley, how he considered any alliance with our family with abhorrence. I could not break her heart. “And besides, I do not wish to marry him.”

“But Lizzy, consider that he is rich and handsome and has a great estate in Derbyshire.”

“There is more to a man than wealth and looks and great estates. I should never marry a man whose character I could not admire. Remember how he disregarded his father’s wishes and cheated Mr. Wickham of his inheritance.”

Jane sighed. “No one is perfect, and you must remember, there are two sides to every story. Have you ever asked him about Mr. Wickham?”

“I have and he has not denied it. Oh, what does it matter? Believe me when I tell you, he will not ask me to marry him.”

“But how do you know?”

“I just do.” I turned over then, welcoming the drowsiness caused by the sleeping draught as it released me from a world I could no longer face.

Chapter Ten

The next morning I slept quite late. The sleeping potion had provided the first truly refreshing rest I had experienced in days. Glancing out the window, I could see that the sun had climbed high in the sky, and the morning fog was completely burned off.

Suddenly, I recalled that my father’s meeting with Mr. Darcy was set for a little past mid-day, and I hurried to get dressed. Not bothering to call the maid, I washed, fastened my dress, pinned up my hair, and put on my shoes. I was pleased to see that the dark circles had now vanished from beneath my eyes, and I almost looked myself again.

I found the breakfast room empty, but the teapot was still warm, and I poured myself a cup. A maid soon appeared, asking if I desired breakfast, which I refused.

“Where is everyone?” I asked.

“Miss Jane took the children to the park across the way,” she answered, “but not until that Mr. Darcy shooed them reporters away from the front stoop.”

“Reporters? Here?”

“Yes, Miss, four or five of them. They been camped out there since early mornin’, pesterin’ me when I went out to pick up the milk and Firkin when he went for the paper.”

“What do they want?”

She looked down, appearing hesitant. “Don’t rightly know, Miss. Just askin’ lots of questions about you and the gentleman.”

“Oh,” I said, sinking down upon a nearby chair.

“We didn’t tell them nothin’, Miss, I promise. Neither Firkin nor me said a word.”

“Thank you,” I murmured. “You say Mr. Darcy is here?”

“Yes, Miss. He’s with Mr. Bennet and the master and mistress in the parlour.”

“I see. Thank you; that will be all.”

She left the room, and I placed the cup of tea on the table, having swallowed just a sip. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. An uncomfortable knot burned in my stomach at the thought of what was being discussed in the parlour.

Well, I thought, I may as well face it
.
I would not have my father and uncle beg the man to marry me.

In the hallway, I observed that the door to the room where they gathered was closed, but just outside, I stopped, for I could hear conversation within.

“Naturally, I am aware of the inferiority of our alliance, of my family’s objections, indeed, of its being a degradation in their eyes,” Mr. Darcy said, “but that is a consequence I shall have to bear. There is nothing else to be done. We must marry and the sooner the better.”

“Yes,” my uncle agreed. “The sooner the better for all concerned in view of the widespread publicity.”

My pulse quickened, and I felt the blood rush to my face.
How dare he!
I thrust open the door and walked in without knocking.

“Lizzy,” my aunt said, immediately crossing the room to take my hand. “Did you sleep well?”

The others greeted me, and I somehow murmured my replies. All the while, I kept my eyes upon Mr. Darcy. He had bowed somewhat stiffly, but his colour was not heightened, nor did he appear ill at ease, but rather quite sure of himself.

“My dear,” my father said, “come in and be seated. We discuss your and Mr. Darcy’s future, so naturally you should participate.”

“Thank you, Father. I confess I am at a loss as to why he is here as I do not see our futures corresponding in any way.”

“Well,” my uncle said, “you must realize the severity of the circumstances. Mr. Darcy has come this morning, perfectly willing and accommodating. He agrees with your father and me that you be married as quickly as possible.”

“Married? I fail to understand your meaning, Uncle. Mr. Darcy has not asked me to marry him, and I certainly have not agreed to any such union.”

“But it is all arranged,” he said. “Things cannot be made right soon enough. I am sure you would agree.”

“I do not agree.” My tone sounded harsh even to my ears, and I did not mean to insult my uncle. “Begging your pardon, Uncle, but I do not see the need to make anything
right
. Mr. Darcy and I went through a terrible experience, but we are now rescued unharmed. We can both go about our lives from now on as though it never happened. I certainly do not see any reason for marriage.”

My father took my hand. “You must face facts. The whole city is talking about this. You and Mr. Darcy said you were married. Witnesses have attested to the fact. You were then held in the same room for several days and nights. Mr. Darcy said you even told the highwayman you carried his child!”

I glared at Mr. Darcy. What had possessed him to reveal that?

“Papá, that was only one of many ruses we used to protect ourselves. You know it is untrue.”

“Of course I do, my dear, but it will come out at the trial. Your name will be blackened.”

“Why? Why should it be told? I do not understand why this should be!”

Mr. Darcy spoke then for the first time. “Might I speak with Elizabeth alone?”

“If she agrees,” my father answered, turning to me.

I shrugged, and he and the Gardiners departed the room, closing the door behind them. Mr. Darcy walked to the fireplace and then to the window. He clenched his hands and placed his fist at his mouth more than once. I felt a nervous fluttering in my stomach as my eyes followed him about the room. At last, he pulled a chair out and sat before me, leaning forward.

“Elizabeth, the time has come to be sensible. There is no other way. We must marry.”

“No,” I said.

He flinched, recoiling as though I had struck him. “No? Just the singular word — no? This is all the reply that I am to have the honour of expecting? I might, perhaps, wish to be informed why, with so little endeavour at civility, I am thus rejected.”

“I might as well inquire why with so evident a design of offending and insulting me, you chose to offer marriage? Was not this some excuse for incivility, if I was uncivil?”

“What do you mean? When have I been uncivil?”

“Outside the room I overheard your manner of conversation — how an alliance with me would be inferior, even a
degradation
in the eyes of your family! If you think
that
sufficient inducement to matrimony, then you, sir, have little experience in proposals.”

I looked away, aware that my breathing grew laboured because of my anger. Although I willed myself to become calm, it was a futile endeavour, for memories of his unjust behaviour began to bubble up like a stew pot boiling over on the fire.

“But I have other provocations. You know I have. Do you think that any consideration would tempt me to accept the man who has been the means of ruining the happiness of a most beloved sister? I have every reason in the world to think ill of you. To think that you not only acted the unjust and ungenerous part there, but you bragged about it in correspondence with your cousin! No motive can excuse such behaviour.”

He rose, and I did also, continuing to upbraid him. “You dare not, you cannot deny that you have been the principal, if not the
only
means of dividing them from each other — exposing one to the censure of the world for caprice and instability, the other to its derision for disappointed hopes — and involving them both in misery of the acutest kind.”

I paused and saw with no little indignation that he listened with an air that proved him wholly unmoved by any feeling of remorse.

“Can you deny that you have done it?” I repeated.

“I have no wish to deny that I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your sister. Towards him I have been kinder than towards myself!”

He turned away and strode to the window, whereupon he must have observed the return of reporters, for I heard him utter an oath under his breath and cross the room briskly, placing one foot upon the hearth and his hand against the mantel before turning to face me again.

“You must understand that I did not entertain any suspicions of your sister’s attachment to Bingley until the evening of the ball at Netherfield. Never had I observed on her part any greater preference for his company than for my own. If she had feelings for him, they were little displayed. There was a constant complacency in her air and manner not often united with great sensibility.