The Housekeeper's Daughter (16 page)

Laughing as if this were a huge joke, the woman checked the papers, instructed them on the use of some medicine packets she gave them, then ushered them out.

In the truck, going back to the ranch, Maya sighed. Drake cast her a quick glance. She was vulnerable at present. Maybe it wasn't a good time to talk.

At the house, he carried the baby in the infant seat into Maya's bedroom, then stood silently while Maya tucked the tiny girl into her bed and pushed it into the corner near her desk. She lowered the blinds so the room was in semidarkness.

“I'll get us some coffee,” he volunteered. In the kitchen, he recalled they'd had no lunch. Elaine was there, peeling a mound of potatoes under Inez's watchful eye.

“Hi,” she said, her smile bright.

Drake spoke automatically, then explained to Inez about the baby. Clucking, she prepared sandwiches and fruit, then sent him back with a tray.

“Tell Maya not to worry about the boys,” she told
him. “I'll look after them when they get home from school.”

“Thanks.”

He hurried to Maya. “Lunch,” he said.

She hovered over the bassinet. “I'm not hungry.”

“Then you can watch me eat.”

He cleared a space and set the meal on her desk. Taking her arm, he guided her to a seat and put half a sandwich in her hand. “Eat. You need to produce milk.”

When she managed an indignant glare, he was relieved. “You make me sound like a cow,” she grumbled, taking the sandwich unwillingly.

After eating, he set the tray in the hall, something he wouldn't have ordinarily done, but it was time to talk.

Taking the chair beside her desk, he gazed at Maya. Her hair was held behind her ears with a stretchy band in deep gold. It matched the sweater she wore. Black slacks and a gambler's vest with a black satin back and gold and black brocade front completed the outfit.

She wore no makeup, but the freshness of her complexion needed no added color.

“I've always thought you were the most beautiful female I've ever known. You never had an awkward stage, but went directly from a child to a woman at some point. I don't know when. I wasn't looking.”

She flashed him an incredulous glance, then turned her velvety brown gaze back to the baby.

“I know when I noticed, though,” he continued, needing to get through this, to get it all said. “The year you were seventeen. I came home, saw you and
didn't sleep the rest of my stay. Luckily, you were with Joe and Teddy all the time; otherwise, I might not have been able to resist—”

He paused, visions of her at that time segueing into images of her as she'd been at his father's birthday party last June. She'd worn a white dress with a lace jacket and pink roses in her hair.

His heart thudded loudly, reminding him of that first moment, when he'd walked out on the patio and there she'd been, arranging flowers around the huge birthday cake. He'd known… In that one moment, he'd known.

“Last summer…”

She dropped her head a bit so he couldn't see her eyes, and he recalled it was a mannerism she had when she didn't want him to read her thoughts.

“Last summer,” he began again, “it was hopeless. As soon as I saw you, I knew how it was going to be for us. And it was,” he ended softly.

Maya bit the inside of her lip to hold back the cry of protest that rose to her throat. “It isn't fair to remind me of how foolish we were.”

“It wasn't foolish,” he said in a slightly harder tone before his voice softened again. “It was wonderful and inevitable and meant to be. Neither of us could have stopped at that point.”

She sighed, knowing he spoke true. Even knowing what was to come—his leaving, the painful discovery of the note, the realization that she was expecting—she would still have gone to him, into his arms, sharing his hot, wild kisses.

A low moan of pain and hunger and a hundred other things pushed through her clenched teeth.

He pulled his chair closer to hers so that their knees nearly touched. “As of this morning, I've been home a month. When I arrived, I fully expected to be a married man within a day, two at the most. I had planned it all out as if it was part of a campaign.” He laughed without humor. “The first clue that things weren't going to go as I thought was finding you on a runaway horse. From there, it got worse.”

“Drake, I need to study.”

“Why? Didn't you ace your final exam?”

“Yes. I don't feel up to arguing with you.”

“Then don't. Just listen. You were right about me and the past. I learned to live with Michael's death because I had to, but it was always there inside me, lingering like a festering wound, ready to break open at any moment.”

“When happiness got too close,” she said, intuitively knowing this was true.

“Yes. Last summer, with you, was the closest thing to total bliss I've ever known. Then I panicked and ran.”

The sorrow of it came back to her, as fresh as the moment joy fled and agony started. “It was such a shock, waking and finding you gone.”

“I said I wanted to save you pain, but it was myself I was protecting. If I lost you… If you came with me and something happened… It was a chance I couldn't take.”

She saw the shadows race through his eyes like ghosts he couldn't shake.

He touched her cheek, then withdrew. “I've learned something this month. No one can predict life. You can't avoid it either by evasion or planning because you can't foresee bee stings or a child's illness.” He gestured toward the sleeping baby.

Maya's breasts contracted, and she felt the familiar release of milk at his mention of the child. Her heart reacted in sympathy, contracting with hopeless longing as he explained why they had no future. As if she needed to hear it again. Wearily, she waited for him to finish.

“Or falling in love,” he added softly. “My fate was sealed the moment I saw you. I walked across the patio to stand beside you. I've never left your side, not even when I was in a thousand miles away. You were there because you were in my heart, filling it with crazy, impossible dreams.”

“Drake, please, you don't have to explain. I know you have to leave.”

He dropped to his knees and slipped his arms around her waist. “Never,” he vowed. “I never intend to leave you again. If you'll give me another chance.” He looked deeply into her eyes. “I need you, sweet Maya, as a friend, a confidante and as my wife. Will you come with me, live with me and share whatever the future brings?”

“Why?” She really didn't understand what was suddenly different, but she knew something was. There was tension in Drake, yes, but there was something else—a sorrow coupled with a quiet expectation that she could detect but not explain.

Taking a deep breath, he told her, “I've let the past go. You were right. It was something I needed to do.”

“How?” she whispered.

“Listening to you blame yourself for Marissa's illness, I realized how ridiculous that was. As if you were personally accountable for every danger that might cross her path. Sitting in the hospital I realized something else—that it wasn't my fault that I reacted quickly when that car came speeding around the curve. Michael didn't. He froze.”

Looking at the terrible sadness in Drake's expression, Maya knew he was at last saying farewell to his twin. Her heart went out to him. Bending forward, she cradled his head against her breasts, offering him what comfort she could as he made this journey from the past to the present.

“He didn't run off the road into the ditch as I did. He simply stared at the car as it came at him. I think…I think I never forgave
him
for that. I couldn't forgive him for dying.”

“You'd never been apart, and he left you behind,” she murmured, understanding the loneliness he must have felt.

“Yes.” Drake swallowed hard, then nodded toward the bassinet. “I want the promise of life she represents. She's our pledge to the future, yours and mine. Our future. I want that. I wasn't ready to admit it last June, but I am now. I want our children, how many you're willing to give me. Most of all, I want you.”

With trembling hands, Maya cupped his face. She saw the truth in the depths of his gold-flecked eyes.

“I love you with all my heart,” he said. “All of it. Marry me and I'll show you just how much.”

She wanted to! So much! “What about the SEALs and your career with them?”

“If you don't mind living on or near the base, we'll have six months to figure out what comes next. Can you finish your studies by e-mail?”

“Everything but the final exams.”

“I think we can arrange to be in San Francisco when the time comes. Marriage?”

She nodded, too choked with emotion to speak.

He laughed softly, lifted her into his arms, swung them around in a dizzy circle, then fell into the rocking chair, which creaked indignantly at being treated in such a rough fashion.

“I love you,” he whispered, then simply gazed at her.

“I love you, too.” She hugged him tightly. “I've always loved you.”

“Lucky me.”

Then he kissed her as if there were no tomorrow, until they were both breathless and filled with longing. Just when things were becoming unbearably interesting, they heard a whimper, then a full-fledged cry.

“The future speaks,” he said, lifting his head, his eyes alight with the fire of passion.

And joy, she thought, as she went and lifted the hungry baby. She changed Marissa's diaper, then settled in Drake's lap in the rocker when he opened his arms to them.

They were silent while the baby nursed. Maya, un
able to keep from stealing glances at her beloved, marveled at how easy it all seemed at this moment.

The future would bring its own worries and pain and dark moments, but there would be happiness, too.

As if reading her mind, Drake murmured, “We can make it. The past is important. It's there to be learned from. That's what we have to remember. To learn and go forward.”

“Yes. I think our daughter will be a good reminder of that fact. Children rush headlong into life. We'll have to keep up.”

With a satisfied smile, Drake wrapped his arms around her and the baby. “We will,” he promised.

Sitting quietly together, he felt Maya relax and drift into sleep. Marissa also slept. Through the window, Drake watched the shadows lengthen into late afternoon. On the path to the creek where he used to while away summer days, he saw a boy on a bike, a fishing pole strapped to the rear fender.

Drake blinked in surprise, wondering who it was.

The boy stopped at the top of the hill and turned. Drake stopped rocking and sat very still. The boy smiled at him, his dark hair blowing in the winter breeze, his eyes flashing golden in the sun. Then, with a wave, he rode on, over the hill and out of sight.

Drake swallowed hard. “Goodbye,” he whispered. “Good fishing.”

“What?” Maya asked sleepily.

“Nothing. I love you.”

He held her close and felt her warmth spreading all the way down inside him, past the longing, the need,
the hunger. Past the fear, right into the very heart of him. Right into his soul.

The baby stirred and made little sucking sounds. Maya sighed against his throat. Drake scrubbed the hot sting of tears from his eyes. Michael's future was somewhere out there, beyond the hills, but his was here, with his two loves. It was the future he wanted.