The Housekeeper's Daughter (13 page)

“I know you'll take care of your own. This is something I want to do. Your mother and I,” he added quickly.

Drake didn't say anything to this last. He wasn't sure his mother would ever acknowledge Marissa. She hardly seemed to know her own children were alive. Except for her on-and-off attention to Joe Junior and Teddy.

“We were so thrilled when you and Michael were born,” Joe continued, obviously lost in his own thoughts of the past. “Such beautiful babies. And smart, too. Rand was a toddler then, full of spunk and curiosity. We were so proud of our little family. When Sophie and Amber came along, we thought it was perfect.”

“Then the kids grow up,” Drake remarked dryly, noting the sadness that flashed through his father's eyes.

Joe nodded absently. “Life moves along, not always down the road you'd prefer it take.”

“True. Maya isn't cooperating at all.”

Joe studied his son, seeing beneath the surface irony to the man inside, and beyond the man, to the boy who had lived with guilt and regret most of his life. Drake had been the most serious of his children, taking more than his share of responsibility for the
family and its welfare. The tragedy of his twin's death weighed on his soul.

“We can't make others conform to our wills,” he said, his thoughts going to the Meredith he'd known in the past, unable to keep from comparing her to the present woman who lived in his house but was a stranger to him.

“I don't expect Maya to conform, but we have a child to think of. I don't want to be an absent father.”

“A child needs both its parents.”

“Yes, but when I told Maya I was going to resign my commission and take a regular job, she got furious about it. She said I decided without consulting her.”

Joe suppressed a smile. Drake was frustrated in his attempts to do the right thing, but, man-like, he thought he could decide what was best and follow through. “I take it that Maya has her own thoughts about marriage and the running of it.”

“She's stubborn,” Drake admitted. “I never suspected how much.”

This time Joe did smile. “I remember a quarrel your mother and I had during the early years. I sent you boys to bed without supper for some infraction. She didn't think withholding food was right.”

“What happened?”

“No supper was served that night.”

“Not to anyone?”

“No one. She said food, like love, was a basic necessity. If part of the family was deprived, then all had to share in the sacrifice.”

“I remember that,” Drake said, his eyes going
warm with the memory. “We all ended up having supper in the kitchen.”

“Right. Your mom and I caught each other sneaking food to you boys, so we joined forces and had an impromptu midnight run on the pantry.”

Joe was relieved to hear Drake's chuckle. This trip so far hadn't resulted in the happiness for his son that Joe had expected. His chest contracted in worry. That was the one thing he wanted most of all—a full and happy life for his children. So far Rand and Sophie were the only two who had settled into married bliss.

But then marriage wasn't always blissful.

He had thought often on the moment when his had gone wrong. Was it when Meredith announced she was pregnant with Teddy? No, before that, obviously, since she'd taken a lover. A picture of Teddy's blue eyes and blond curls leaped into his mind along with one of Graham's identical coloring.

He swallowed hard. Surely Meredith, his beloved Meredith, hadn't gone to his brother….

But there had been someone. Betrayal. That was a fact he'd had to learn to live with.

“A man has to learn to put hurtful things behind him,” he said to Drake. “You'll have to forgive Maya for not contacting you. Sometimes a person's pride gets in the way of happiness,” he suggested, trying to be helpful without putting in his own two cents worth.

“It isn't that. She says I'm living in the past, but I'm trying to think of the future, to provide a home for her and the baby. I thought she'd be happy….”

Drake trailed off, puzzled and irritated with Maya's
stubborn insistence that he find his soul before coming to her with his heart.

“Women like to be consulted on these things,” his father said, obviously trying to be kind. “Talk to her some more. If you really want to settle down to an office job, Colton Enterprises has plenty of positions that can use a good mover and shaker.”

“Thanks.” Drake managed to smile at his dad. “Things certainly aren't going as I expected. I arrived home on the sixth, fully expecting to be a married man by the seventh. Here it is, twelve days later. I'm a father, but no closer to being a husband that I can tell.”

“Is it a question of caring?”

I love you.

Drake shook his head. “She…cares. So do I. It's more a question of seeing eye to eye about the future.”

“Talk to her. Don't let happiness slip through your fingers without fighting to hold on to it with all your might.”

“I don't intend to,” Drake assured the other man, feeling heartened by the conversation. He and Maya shared a child and a wild, sweet passion. She'd said she loved him. How could he make her see they belonged together?

“The rain is starting,” Joe said. “We'd better go in. I have a conference call with Peter and Emmett in a bit. Emmett wants to expand our oil operations. Peter says it isn't a good time because of overproduction among the OPEC countries.”

“Speaking for myself, I'd listen to Peter.”

“He's a good man,” his father agreed as they headed for the sunroom door.

The men went to the den for a brandy. Drake lit a fire and settled in an easy chair as the mist turned to a downpour.

 

Louise Smith woke with tears pouring down her cheeks. Outside, the Mississippi night had turned stormy, just as it had the other night when she'd woken from a nightmare. This time, it wasn't a little red-haired girl she'd seen in her dreams, but two baby boys, as alike as two peas.

Twins.

Somehow she knew they were hers. She'd had at least one child, the doctors had told her.

Where, oh, where were those babies?

She rocked back and forth, her heart locked in turmoil and pain. She couldn't bear it. She had to know. She had to find the past and face whatever horror it held, no matter how much it hurt.

Those babies…they needed her. Her sweet lost babies…oh, God, the babies…

“Please, please,” she whispered. “My children…my husband—”

She pressed a hand over her mouth as the dark man appeared in her vision, his expression that of one stricken with unhappiness. He was real. So were the babies.

She'd been married. She had children. Once she had loved and been loved.

“I know it! I know it!” she cried. “Where are you?”

Only the howling wind answered. A torrent of raindrops hit the windows as if the world cried with her, echoing her grief.

“Please, God, please help me find them,” she prayed, fearing she was coming to the end of her tether, that the insanity that had once claimed her would do so again.

Lost in the darkness of her mind, she might never find her past…or the love she'd once known.

Her husband. Her babies. The red-haired girl who was now a woman. Other faces of other people, some children, some adults. She needed them. And they needed her. She was certain of it. They were in danger, grave danger. She felt it to the depths of her soul. And only she could save them.

“Oh, please…please,” she cried. “Heavenly Father, help me. Help
them.
”

Lightning flashed with a tremendous brightness and thunder rolled over the land with a great roar that shook buildings and rattled windows.

“Joe,” she screamed, but the fury of the storm drowned out the word. It was terrifying, but no worse than the storm within.

O
n Monday, six days after Marissa's birth, Maya resumed her full duties. After getting Joe and Teddy off to school, she read a chapter in a book on early childhood, then napped until lunch. After eating, she gathered Marissa, then headed for the Hopechest Ranch.

Drake was waiting out front for her. “Ride with me,” he requested. “I told my father I'd look over the children's ranch with an eye toward something we can do to improve it.”

“You should talk to your sister. Amber knows more than anyone about the financial conditions and needs of the children.”

“Good idea,” he said equably, helping her and Marissa into his truck. “You have any suggestions?”

Before she quite knew how it happened, she was
riding along with Drake, discussing the children's needs at the Hopechest, which served as a foster home, juvenile retention center and school for kids with various hardships in their young lives.

“Supplies,” Maya said as he parked near the classroom where she tutored her students. “Books, especially. That's the main thing I think we need. The kids need books that show other kids overcoming sad lives and becoming successful citizens. Also art supplies—chalk and sketch paper. Oh, and workbooks in math would be good, too. Maybe we could get some of those self-tutoring computer programs?”

“Sure.”

Maya realized she was waxing on and on when Drake gave her an amused smile. She shut up and went into her assigned room. There, she directed Drake to deposit the baby carrier holding the sleeping Marissa beside the desk.

“I'll look up the Hopechest director,” he said, “and talk to him. I'll pick you up at three to head back to our place. Okay?”

She nodded, carefully not looking at him as she set out her folders and papers. Johnny met Drake at the door. The two males spoke in passing of the coming weekend and the plans for roping. Sighing, she admitted Drake was so good for Johnny and his younger brothers. He was someone they could look up to and emulate.

Well, to a point. She didn't want the boys to dwell on past misfortunes as Drake seemed to do. Most particularly, Johnny needed to move beyond his troublesome past to a secure future.

“How did you do with the problems Mr. Martin gave you?” she asked, pulling a new novel for him out of her briefcase.

“Fine. I think.”

He gave her a self-satisfied grin, which told her he'd thought the assignment was an easy one. “Don't get cheeky,” she told him affectionately, taking the homework paper.

“Is this your baby?” he asked, bending over the sleeping baby.

“Yes. Meet Marissa Joy…Colton.” She paused, then plunged on, knowing the news wasn't a secret. “Drake is her father.”

“Are you going to get married?”

Maya studied the teenager carefully, sure there were other questions behind this one, but not sure she wanted to answer them. “We're discussing it,” she at last said, which was an honest answer. “It's difficult to know what to do. His job in the SEALs takes him all over the world, to places a wife and baby can't go.”

“So, couldn't you stay here and he could come home between assignments? I had a friend whose dad was in the Navy. He was away for months at a time. I think they were mostly glad. He beat up on them when he came home.”

Maya just shook her head at the matter-of-fact manner this news was delivered. How did children ever grow up to be decent, caring people in this crazy world? Johnny, for instance, was kind and enthusiastic and intelligent. How had his finer qualities ever survived his early years?

“Some people need to take a course or two in anger management,” she said dryly.

Johnny looked surprised. “There must be courses in everything. I'm going to get a college degree. I can work my way through, just like you, only maybe as a cowhand instead of a baby-sitter.”

Her heart warmed as he cast her an admiring glance, then quickly looked away. These were the moments a teacher lived for—seeing the results of your efforts pay off in a student's desire to learn more.

Teaching was definitely the career for her, so she'd done one thing right. It was the rest of her life that was in turmoil. She swallowed as yearning overcame reasoning. She wanted to follow her heart and forget the problems that, at midnight, seemed insurmountable.

“Let's get to work,” she said huskily. “I brought you a new book. The kids in this story have an interesting adventure. I liked the way their characters developed as the story progressed.”

For the next two hours she concentrated on her tasks, putting aside her own worries as she taught her students how to decipher letters to make sounds, then words, then sentences that made sense. She was pleasantly surprised to see that Johnny had indeed handled the problems just fine.

“Next time they'll be harder,” she promised, giving him a narrow-eyed scrutiny that made him laugh.

“She's really tough,” Drake said, entering the room.

“Yeah.” With another laugh, the teenager picked
up the new adventure novel about three kids who got lost from their family and managed to find their way home, learning and growing as they worked together to make it.

Before the trip back to the hacienda, Marissa awoke and demanded her lunch.

“When does she eat?” Drake asked.

“When she wants to. I'm following a feed-on-demand philosophy at present. When she's a month old, I'll gradually work into scheduled feedings. At least, that's my plan. Putting it into action may be something different.”

His chuckle warmed her heart. Lifting the baby, she unbuttoned her blouse and lowered the nursing bra. Marissa suckled in her usual noisy way, then fell into a light slumber. Maya tapped her on the cheek to remind her to stick with the business at hand.

The baby roused with an irritated cry, then nursed again. Each time she fell asleep, Maya woke her.

“Maybe she's not hungry,” Drake suggested.

“If she demands a meal, then she has to cooperate. I don't want her to develop the habit of eating just enough to take the edge off her appetite, then falling asleep. I can't nurse her every few minutes.”

“I see.”

“I'm lucky that I can have her with me while I work. It must be terribly hard on those parents who can't.”

Drake nodded thoughtfully. “I'd like for you to show me how to take care of her, if you don't mind. I figure I'd better start now in preparation for those
times when she stays with me and I have to do everything.”

Stunned by the implications of this statement, Maya could only stare at him for a few seconds. She finally asked, “Are you planning on her living with you?”

“It's traditional for fathers to get their kids during vacations and holidays, isn't it?”

Maya could scarcely breathe, much less answer. “I—I suppose. Would you want to do that? A child is a lot of responsibility. You couldn't go off—”

“I know that,” he said when she stopped, her thoughts in a muddle.

Maya finished the feeding session and they made their way silently back to the house. Drake carried the infant seat, diaper bag and her briefcase inside.

“Drake,” Teddy called, coming from the family theater over the five-car garage and clambering down the steps. “Can we do some roping now?”

“You have homework first,” Maya reminded them.

“Why do we always have to do dumb homework?” Joe Junior groused, following his brother.

“Because you did poorly on your math,” Drake answered. “Maya's going to teach me to bathe Marissa. You two get your work done, then we'll talk about roping.”

Joe wrinkled his nose in disbelief. “You're going to give Marissa a bath? She's just a baby.”

“Yeah, and a girl,” Teddy added, as if this were the crowning insult.

“I happen to like girls,” Drake told the younger
boys with a grin. “Especially when they're as pretty as their mama.”

His look of frank admiration produced the familiar longing. Flustered, she led the way to her room.

“Can we watch?” Teddy wanted to know, obviously curious about this aspect of adulthood. “Is it hard to give babies baths? Hey, maybe we can help.”

“You can powder her,” Maya promised.

She showed them the little plastic washbasin she used for the baby. “Stick your elbow in to test the temperature.”

Each male solemnly bared his elbow and checked the water. “Feels okay to me,” Joe said, going first.

The other two agreed it did.

She showed them how to undress Marissa, holding her head so it didn't bobble and stripping the gown and diaper off. “Put your left arm under her head and hold on to her left arm. That way she can't wriggle free when she's all slippery with soap.”

She showed them how.

“Okay, we can take over now, can't we, men?” Drake asked.

“Sure,” the boys said, full of confidence.

Maya, not at all sure this was the thing to do, sat in the rocking chair and watched the operation through the open door to the bathroom. With much discussion and some adult chuckling and little-boy giggling, they washed the baby, then powdered and dressed her.

Drake, she saw, was quite competent at the task. During the past six days, he'd watched everything she
did, staying close to her and the baby during most of their waking hours. It was almost like being married.

Almost, but not quite.

Her heart clenched as she thought of the days and years ahead. If Drake was planning on making a place in his life for his daughter, that was good, wasn't it? Didn't it show he was willing to accommodate a family? Maybe she was being stubborn, as he said.

Sitting at her desk, she checked her e-mail and phone messages, then the boys' papers from their day at school. By the time she finished, the guys were finished, too. The baby, with a wise stare at Maya, closed her eyes and went right to sleep when placed in her bassinet.

“She's a good baby, isn't she?” Drake said, watching his sleeping daughter.

“Yes.”

“Maya, was I a good baby?” Teddy demanded.

Maya grinned. “You cried all night, every night, for the first month.”

He laughed. “What about Joe?”

“He knew he'd found a good home from the first. He hardly ever cried. But when he did, look out! He could keep it up for hours.” She smiled, then gestured toward the other end of the room. “Now, homework.”

The boys took their places at each side of her desk and dutifully opened their books. Drake settled in the rocking chair with a magazine on parenting. Maya continued reading her book on childhood development. That was how Ms. Meredith found them when she came in.

“Well, if this isn't the cozy family scene,” she said, pausing in the open doorway.

Maya stiffened at the sarcastic undertone, but she managed a calm smile. It didn't do to let the other woman see that she could upset her.

“Hello, darlings,” Meredith went on. “Don't you have a kiss for your mother?”

The boys leaped up from their homework and rushed to Meredith's arms, where they were soundly kissed and petted. Their mother gave them each a bag of candy and permission to eat it. Maya refrained from mentioning dinner was less than two hours away.

Meredith questioned the boys extensively about their activities, lavishing attention on them as she hadn't done in days. Or weeks, Maya thought. In fact, Ms. Meredith had seemed distracted, her temper more uncertain, since…since Joe's birthday party.

Well, it must be pretty scary when someone took a shot at your husband. Anyone would be distracted.

However, Joe had been a U.S. Senator in the past. He'd struck it rich in oil long ago, then moved into other enterprises. A man in his position would make enemies no matter how nice he really was. People were jealous—

Another thought occurred to Maya. Ms. Meredith acted almost jealous of her own husband, not because of other women, but because their children obviously loved and respected their father. It struck Maya as very odd.

Recalling the conversation with Drake about his
mother being different, she felt a chill creep along her scalp. What was going on in the Colton household?

 

At nine-thirty, Maya entered the living room where Drake, holding Marissa, talked with his father. He'd taken over the care of the baby while she supervised the boys' baths and saw them to bed. The scene between father and son looked so peaceful, she hated to intrude.

“Excuse me. I thought I'd get Marissa now and put her to bed.” She hovered at the hall doorway.

“Come in, Maya,” Joe invited. “Won't you join us for a few minutes? Men need the company of women to keep us up on our manners, don't we, son?”

“Uh, right. Anything you say, Dad,” Drake agreed with wry humor.

He gave her a once-over that brought a glow to her face. She'd showered and put on a long skirt and top outfit in dramatic red and black that complemented her coloring, one she hadn't been able to wear for five months. Tonight she felt attractive as a woman again.

Choosing an easy chair, she sighed as she relaxed, the many demands of the day at last over.

“Tired?” Joe asked kindly.

She hesitated about admitting a weakness, then nodded. “The longest the baby has slept at a time has been three hours. I didn't realize waking several times during the night would be so draining.”

During the past week, she'd often wondered how her mother had made it, caring for this big house,
planning and cooking meals, then keeping her own home clean and neat as well as taking care of a husband and two children. All her memories were of a happy, tireless woman who rarely got cranky or complained about all the work to be done. Maya didn't think she was made of the same caliber stuff.

Then, having admitted fatigue, she worried that Joe would think she was neglecting her duties to his sons. “Joe and Teddy have been wonderful about helping with the baby. And getting their homework done without coaxing.”