The Guardian of My Soul (Soul's Desire) (8 page)

*  *  *

Mother was standing by my bed when I woke up. “How long have you been here?” I put my hand over my eyes. The light coming through the curtains was too bright.

“A while,” she admitted. “I just wanted to spend some time with you before you go,” she said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“Okay, I’m going to miss you.” I lay still while she pushed my hair over my shoulder and patted my back. Mother loved me and only had my best interests at heart. I knew that. There was just so much going on. I felt overwhelmed.

“I’m sorry I upset you about Alec. But he told me what happened last night. You need him along just in case something unexpected occurs, Kris,” she said in a voice gruff with worry.

Her words resonated in my head like an echo in the night and I tensed as I came to understand what she was saying. I had accepted the fact that he was going with us, but now I heard he’d done exactly what I’d asked him not to.
Oh, just wait ‘til I get my hands on him! Men! You can’t trust them.

“I need to get ready, Mom,” I said simply.

“All right, I’ll wait downstairs to have breakfast together.” She kissed my hair before she left.

After a quick shower, I selected a simple short yellow sundress, slipped into a pair of yellow flats and pulled my hair up in a ponytail. Grabbing my purse, I headed downstairs, dragging my luggage after me.

Casually dressed in blue jeans, a white T-shirt and a pair of light blue deck shoes, Alec stood at the foot of the stairs. His mood was hidden under dark glasses and a baseball cap. He looked good and I hated him for it.

“Hi. I’ll take that,” he said, grabbing the handle of my luggage, then hauled it outside toward the awaiting BMW SUV.

The tingly sensation caused by the soft brush of our hands as he reached for the handle made me stop and stare after him.
Why does this insane attraction for him keep happening to me?
I frowned, reminding myself how upset I was with him for telling Mom about the incident. But my body’s involuntary reaction to him threw me for a loop.

*  *  *

Mother followed me out the door after having breakfast together on the terrace.

“I called Martha to tell her you’re heading to the ranch. She and John are eagerly waiting for you,” she said. I was eager to see the lovely old couple who took care of the place. I had always considered them to be like my own grandparents.

I nodded. “I can’t wait to get there.”

She hugged me tight. “I’ll miss you. A lot.”

“I’ll only be away for a week or so,” I said reassuringly. She held me for a few seconds more.

Wiping her eyes, she finally let me go. “Take care on the ranch. I’ve heard Martha say they saw some coyotes, so you all need to be careful.”

“We will, Mom. Please don’t worry.” I clasped her hand in mine.

“I’m supposed to worry, it’s my job.” She then picked Fred up and walked me to the car. I knew asking her not to fret was like asking the wind not to blow.

“Take good care of the girls, son. It’s just you and them. They’re your responsibility now.” Ryan instructed Alec, but both of them shut up when they saw us coming.

“Morning, Miss. Are you ready to go?” Ryan smiled at me.
Heck, he can really smile!

“Yes, thank you,” I replied and took the dog from Mom after climbing into the front passenger seat, letting him rest on my lap.

“Have a safe trip, dear.” Mom stole one last hug from me, then closed the door.

I waved goodbye to her, then noticed Ryan hugging Alec awkwardly in the right side rearview mirror. Did he still hate his father? If so, he had a damn good way of hiding it.

Alec made himself comfortable in the driver’s seat and fastened his seatbelt before turning the ignition on and driving away.

My eyes zeroed in on his cheek as if they could drill holes in him, but he didn’t seem to pay me any mind. “Why did you do it?” I asked eventually.

He finally turned his head to me and for a second I was tempted to reach out and remove those sunglasses he was hiding behind.

“What did I do now?” he inquired nonchalantly.

“You know exactly what you did. You told Mom about that drunk guy even though I specifically told you not to do it!”

He switched his attention back to the road and answered me patiently. “I was just doing my job.”

“You’re really enjoying yourself, aren’t you? If antagonizing me is part of your job, you deserve a raise.” I scowled.

“You’re going to get wrinkles if you keep frowning like that.”

He was trying to tease me into a good humor, but it wasn’t going to work. “I can’t believe we’re stuck with each other on this trip.” I turned away from him.

“Believe me, if I can put up with you, you can put up with me.”

Sinking my teeth into my lower lip hard, I resisted the urge to punch him. I pressed the button to lower the window and took a couple of deep breaths. That didn’t help much, but I remained quiet, feeling hurt.

We soon picked the girls from their respective homes and the way they smiled at the sight of him only added to my frustration. Everybody seemed to get along with him, but me. Why couldn’t he be good to me too?

“How did we end up with Studmuffin?” Megan asked me as soon as she got in the back seat next to Ana, while Alec was outside trying to stuff her two large suitcases in the car’s trunk.

“Isn’t it obvious? Mom sent him,” I said under my breath.

“Don’t get mad, but I’m kind of glad we’re not by ourselves on the road,” Ana said with relief in her voice. “It’s a long way and after what happened last night—”

I turned around and her face dropped, but I winked at her. I wanted us to have a good time on our mini-vacation. “No need to be a paranoid like my mother, Ana. Nothing bad will happen to us.”

“That’s the attitude to have. Let’s head east and leave our troubles behind.” Megan changed the subject when Alec clambered back into the car and took the wheel. “By the way, you two missed all the fun last night.”

“I’m sure there will be other occasions,” I replied noncommittally and passed my dog to Ana. I knew she adored him.

She smiled and hugged him to her chest before letting him sleep on her lap.

“I hope you girls packed your riding boots,” I told them, while rummaging in my purse for my favorite CD to put on some music.

“Oh, no! I’m not getting back on a horse ever again,” Ana said alarmed. “I nearly had a panic attack last time.”

“I’m not a fan either. I mean, I like to watch and pet them, but riding is a different story,” Megan said quietly.

“So you’re going to make me ride by myself?”

“Yes!” they replied in unison.

I shook my head. “Cowards!”

“I’ll ride with you,” Alec announced. A wave of nervous anticipation passed over me. Now who was the coward?

*  *  *

Both girls fell asleep shortly after, so I turned the music’s volume down to let them rest, wondering what time they had gone to bed last night.

Alec was unusually quiet. His glasses were gone and his attention seemed to be solely focused on the road.
If only I could read his mind.

I tipped my seat backward and propped my feet up on the dashboard, searching for a more comfortable position to rest a little. As I did so, my dress slid all the way down to my hips, exposing my thighs. To my surprise, I caught him looking with the corner of his eye and a rush of warmth flooded me out of the blue, the tingling rising from my womanhood all the way to the tips of my breasts. The feeling, though it puzzled me, was sublime and I did nothing to cover myself or block his view. Ian never made me feel this way.

“You like what you see?” I unwillingly asked in a low whisper, causing him to cut his eyes at me in surprise.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” he answered, but I could see the color had risen in his cheeks. Whether it was embarrassment or arousal, I didn’t know.

Him blushing made me smile and I bit my lip to contain my laughter. This pleased me.

“Are you trying to distract me and crash the car so you can get rid of me?” he asked with a hint of humor in his voice.

“Is it working?” I grinned.

“Sorry, honey, but I’ve seen better than that.” He smiled at me mischievously.

“Oh, really?” My grin faded.

“Yes.” He winked.

“Liar!”

“I’m not lying,” he replied.

“Jerk!” I punched his biceps and he chuckled, caressing the spot where my fist had landed.

“You’re used to everybody telling you how pretty you are, aren’t you? And if somebody happens to have a different opinion, boy you get your feathers ruffled.”

“Because you only say that to annoy me.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, that’s all you ever do.” I crossed my arms. “Annoy me.”

He smiled. “I can’t help myself. You’re so funny when you’re angry.”

I gaped at him. “So you admit it?”

“Admit what?”

“That you’re doing it on purpose!”

“Maybe...” His teasing grin threw me for a second.

“I’m not your toy to play with and tick off for your personal amusement.” I pouted.

“Are you sure? Would you like to be?” When I narrowed my eyes, he grew serious. “I’m not your boy toy either, nor will I ever be the submissive kind of guy you can push around whenever you feel like it.”

“Then why did you take a submissive kind of job if you can’t be tamed?” I raised a questioning brow.

“Security is not a submissive kind of job, and I haven’t even come close to submitting to you. I’m a bodyguard. I’m licensed to carry a weapon. Don’t you watch the movies?” He looked down at my legs again. “Plus, I don’t intend on taking care of silly little girls like you forever. This is just temporary...”

My first instinct was to punch him again, but then the word temporary brought a smile to my face. I enjoyed sparring with him. It was exciting.

“Why are you looking so pleased?” he asked puzzled.

“Oh, I’m just imagining waking up one day when you’ll be long gone, nothing but a bad memory. Although...I don’t see what else you could do, except for kicking ass.”

“Oh, I can do a lot of things. They just aren’t any of your business.”

“Why not? Impress me, if you can...” I tempted him.

“No, thank you. I feel no need to try and impress you.”

“You’ve got nothing.” I leveled him with a disbelieving look.

“I’m not going to fall into your trap, so forget it.”

“Did you go to college?”

“That’s none of your business either,” he replied.

“I take that as a ‘no’.”

“Believe anything you want. It doesn’t matter to me.”

I frowned at his self-confidence, annoyed by how calm he was, but even more because he stubbornly refused to open up. “Pull over at the next gas station.” I directed.

“Why?”

“Because I need to stop.”

“You need to fix your makeup?” He grinned, returning to his normal nagging self.

“Stop the car!” I insisted between clenched teeth.

He gave me the look I was coming to recognize as his ‘tolerating Kris’ look, but he did pull over at the first gas station we came to on the road.

I unsnapped my seatbelt and climbed out of the car, taking my purse with me. He was by my side in an instant, and I stopped to stare at him.

“What?” He blinked.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“With you, of course.”

“You’re going to follow me into the bathroom?” I stage-whispered, conscious of people watching us.

“I’ll wait outside your door,” he answered calmly, crossing his arms over his big chest, an unmovable force.

“Arg!” I growled and he chuckled as I stalked toward the bathroom with him tailing me up close, as if I were a fugitive trying to escape. When I came out a few minutes later I found him standing by the door with one hand on his hip, looking smug and satisfied. Ignoring him as much as possible, I bought myself a bottle of water, some chips and a magazine to occupy my time.

Megan’s curious eyes locked on mine as we returned to the car. “How was it?” she asked mischievously once I was back in my seat.

“Seriously?” I asked, not in the mood for her kinky ideas.

She laughed and nestled down to sleep some more.

CHAPTER FIVE

I opened my eyes and noticed it was dark outside. I must have fallen asleep at some point. Turning to my left, I found a tired looking Alec. Then I realized he only had a short twenty minutes break when we stopped for lunch.

“Alec?” I murmured, pulling myself up a little.

“Yes?”

“Aren’t you tired? You’ve been driving all day.”

“I’m okay...”

“No, you’re not. God, it’s almost midnight. Come on, let me drive till we get to the next city.”

“I can handle it.” He assured me.

“For once, please do what I ask you to do. I don’t want you to fall asleep and end up in a ditch. Please?”

“Please?” He looked out the window. “Is the sky falling? I never thought I’d hear that word come out of your mouth.” He found a place to pull over and we switched seats. I drove on, eager to get to a hotel so we could all get some sleep.

“There’s water and a sandwich in the blue bag at your feet. You should eat,” I said and he accepted it with a mumbled ‘thanks’.

“Where are we?” Ana asked, then yawned.

“The sign says fifteen miles to Amarillo. We’ll be there shortly,” I said, glancing at her in the mirror. “How can you still be sleepy after sleeping all day?”

“Oh, give me a break. Sam kept me up all night last night...” she confessed.

“He did?” I couldn’t hold back a giggle.

“Yes. He asked me to compensate for the week we’d be apart, so I gladly did it.” She flushed scarlet.

I smiled, then noticed Megan was up too. “What’s your excuse, Meg?”

“Do you still need to ask?” she replied. So, if they made love all night, maybe nothing was wrong with them after all. Damn, I couldn’t wait to talk to her.

I laughed. “Guess not.”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. Ian came to the club to celebrate with us last night. He was sorry he couldn’t make it to the game. He asked about you. The poor thing seemed a little lonely,” Ana informed me.

“Why?”

“Maybe he missed you.” She suggested. “You should have snuck him in last night, give him a proper goodbye.” She smiled.

“What? With Mom in the house? That’s not a good idea,” I said uncomfortably, feeling Alec’s gaze on me.

“Are you saying you’ve never had sex under the same roof with your mom?” Megan asked, sounding quite appalled.

I blanched. “Can we not talk about this right now?” With the corner of my eye I noticed him smiling and I prayed the girls would stop asking me intimate questions around him.

“You never want to talk about it,” she complained.

God, she was making me sound like a prude. “I do talk about it,” I retorted, frowning at her insistence. “But now is not the time, okay?”

“Fine, but you and I are going to have a serious conversation once we get to the ranch. You won’t be able to evade me there.”

“I agree. I look forward to it.” My acquiescence made me nervous.

“Do you have a girlfriend, Alec?” she asked him suddenly, deflecting my curiosity.

“I believe that’s a personal question,” he replied calmly.

How can you be so damn calm?
I wondered.

“Oh, don’t be so aloof. You can tell us.”

“Meg, leave him alone. Maybe he doesn’t want to share.” Ana intervened.

“I’m just curious to know him better. What’s wrong with that?”

“And this is the first question you ask him?”

“Girls, will you knock it off! I’m trying to drive here.” I vainly attempted to silence them.

“Where are you from?” Megan asked him in a calmer tone, refusing to give in, typical of her.

“I’m from San Francisco. My mother and my eighteen-year-old sister live with me.”

“Awww, you have a sister. How do you get along?”

“We’ve always been close. She and Mom are very dear to me.”

“That’s nice. What about your father?”

I cleared my throat, but I knew nothing could stop her when she was in the mood for interrogating. Wait till it was her turn.

“We’re okay,” he said simply.

“All right, we’re almost there,” I announced as we were about to enter the city. “Look for a hotel. I’m dying to get in bed. By the way, this trip is on me so I’m paying for everything.”

We stopped at a four-star hotel and I got a room for each of us on the same floor. Alec insisted on having the room next to mine.
Overprotective much?

“Good night, guys,” I said before entering mine. “See you at eight in the morning.”

“Night, Kris.”

I slipped into a silk nightgown after a quick chat with Mother. Fred was already lounging on one side when I got in bed. “You cute little thing...” I kissed his head, then finally allowed myself to sleep, wishing I’d have a visit from the man of my dreams. I didn’t. Every time I tried to conjure his image, all I saw was Alec.

*  *  *

I heard a banging at my door, not a gentle knock but a loud racket which shook the whole door. My eyes sprang open.
What in the world?
I looked around the room, trying to get my bearings. The hotel room was bathed in warm, bright light and my heart skipped a beat when I realized it was morning.

“Oh, Kristeeen?” Alec’s grumpy voice sounded over the loud banging.

Fred jumped off the bed and rushed to the door wagging his tail, visibly excited to hear him.

“Fred, how can you fraternize with the enemy?” I grumped, heading to the door. As soon as I opened it my traitor of a dog jumped into Alec’s arms and licked him as if he were his favorite person in the world, making him chuckle.

“Finally, the princess decides to greet the day,” he said and grinned at me once he was done petting the dog. Suddenly, his eyes dropped and his smile slowly faded away.

I blinked perplexed.
Is he staring at my breasts? My God, he’s staring at my breasts!
The realization elicited tremors all over my body, causing my nipples to strain against the fabric of my nightgown.
Holy crap! My nightgown!
I tensed when I remembered the transparent lace across my chest.

“Give him to me!” I snatched Fred out of his arms and used him to hide my aroused state. “What’s wrong with you, hammering at my door like a crazy man?” I fussed.

He cleared his throat as if to regain his voice before he answered me. “I’ve been standing here for more than five minutes calling you and nothing. What was I supposed to do? You said eight sharp and it’s almost eight thirty.”

“Damn it!” I hurried back inside the room and put Fred on the bed, then quickly looked for something comfortable to change into. I took out a pair of denim shorts and a white shirt from my suitcase, then tugged at my nightgown to pull it off over my head. I stopped halfway when I noticed him sitting on the bed, casually assessing me. “Alec!” I shuddered, gaping at him in shock. “What are you doing in here? Can’t you see I’m trying to change clothes?” I stammered in bewilderment. I couldn’t believe he’d gotten a glimpse of my equally transparent panties.

“I’m just waiting to take your luggage.” He smiled innocently, clearly not finding anything wrong with his actions.

“Wait outside, you peeping tom!” I was amazed by how brazen he turned out to be.

“My bad,” he said dryly and left the room.

It took me a moment to recover from the shock and register the warm wetness between my legs. I sighed, once more feeling betrayed by my own body. “I can’t believe him! And I refuse to be turned on, no matter how he makes me feel!” I grumbled.

When I finally exited the room, I found him waiting in the hallway and I marched up to him. “I can’t believe you saw me in my underwear! I am furious with you.” I walked on, eager to put some distance between us.

“Hey!” He grabbed my arm and pulled me abruptly, my chest slamming against his hard torso. “You’re right. What I did was inappropriate and I’m sorry. I just found myself absentmindedly walking in. I didn’t mean to be rude.” He excused himself.

“You expect me to believe that?” I murmured flush against him, taken aback by his sudden change in attitude.

“Yes, I do.”

“You were checking me out.”

“Was not,” he retorted calmly, his face merely a few inches away from mine. Then I caught the smile in his eyes. He was lying like a dog.

“Let go of me,” I whispered, feeling my heart pounding heavily and my chest heaving in agitation.

Being this close to him was doing funny things to me. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. Everything in me wanted to move closer, to lean in, to touch, but I stubbornly resisted the unwelcome temptation.

What are you doing to me?
I cried out in my mind.

He leaned toward me slowly and I panicked, my breath catching in my throat. With a sudden jerk I managed to free myself from his grip and rushed to the elevator, never looking back. He followed me in silence, hauling my luggage after him. We travelled down together and I was so aware of him, my whole body reacted as if he were a powerful magnet. I was drawn to him, hanging on to the rail just to stay upright. His eyes held mine with an intensity which made me feel lightheaded and I gasped for air as the space around us suddenly appeared to be too small.

I hurried out the moment the elevator doors opened and raced toward the reception desk to hand in the key.
Why would he try to kiss me? We don’t even like each other. Mr. Confusing, what the hell is going on?
Countless questions popped into my head at once, consuming me.
How dare he toy with my feelings like this?

My cell phone buzzed in the back pocket of my shorts and I reached for it with my trembling hand. “Yes?” I answered hastily without even looking to see who was calling.

“Kristen? Are you okay?” Megan asked. “Ana and I have been waiting for you at the restaurant for ages. Hurry up, the food is getting cold and we should get going if we want to arrive at the ranch today.”

“I’ll be there in a moment.” I hung up and rushed toward the restaurant.

“You’re late,” she said as soon as she saw me. “And you’re never late. What happened?”

“I slept in. Sorry I kept you waiting.” I ate the omelet they ordered for me even though I had no appetite.

“Where’s Alec?” Ana asked.

I shrugged, not lifting my gaze from the plate, wishing more than ever they’d stop mentioning his name around me.

“You’re blushing!” Megan gasped. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” I drank half my glass of juice. “Have you seen him?” I was trying to throw her off the scent.

“He already ate, so he’s probably waiting at the car,” Megan answered.

“I hope we can make it to Kentucky today,” Ana said.

“So do I. I’ll drive too when he gets tired. I don’t want to stop again for the night,” I murmured. I couldn’t handle another early morning visit from my scoundrel of a bodyguard.

*  *  *

The sky became cloudy and by midday it was raining lightly. Small raindrops slid down my window and for a moment I was tempted to trail them with my finger, lost in my thoughts. The girls were fast asleep again and the silence in the car was a little overwhelming.

I stretched my arm to put on some music, but so did Alec. We glanced at each other when our fingers touched, yet I quickly tore my eyes away from him and turned away.

“You’re very quiet,” he said in a low tone.

“I have nothing to say,” I murmured in return.

“Are you mad at me?”

His question took me by surprise.

“Yes, I am very put out with you.”

“Can I ask why?”

I turned to him abruptly. “Why would you try to kiss me?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. The question had bothered me all day.

His eyes widened, but he didn’t look at me. “Why would I do that?”

I gasped. “Don’t even start with me, Alec. You were totally going to kiss me.” I dared him to tell me any different, but he did.

“I’m sorry I gave you that impression,” he said in an annoyingly calculated way, but I could tell he was tense by the way his fingers were squeezing the steering wheel.

“Fine, don’t tell me. I know what happened. I was there.”

“You have a very vivid imagination,” he retorted.

I shook my head. “I don’t understand you. Alec, no woman will stay with you longer than five minutes if you keep behaving this way, me included.”

“Ah, we’re together?”

“In your dreams.”

“And how am I behaving exactly?” He gave me a cool, hard stare.

“You’re arrogant, overbearing, confusing, and infuriating. I can’t believe Ryan is your father. He’s such a nice guy compared to you. This isn’t going to work. Mom will hear about all of this and I don’t care that you think I always run to her when there’s a bump in the road,” I said, using his own words. “She hired you because she thought I’d get along better with someone closer to my age. But she was wrong. We can’t go on this way.”

“You wanted me to kiss you,” he said after a short moment of silence.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” His voice darkened.

I felt my jaw drop and I couldn’t believe what was coming out of his mouth.
How would he know what I wanted? Is he a mind reader now?
“You’ve got some nerve. You really think you’re that desirable?”

“I only say what I see...” He shrugged, trying not to laugh.

Embarrassment flooded my heart, so I lashed out. “Well, you’re wrong! I’d never wish for you to kiss me.”