The Guardian of My Soul (Soul's Desire) (10 page)

“Who could he be talking to for so long?” Megan inquired ten minutes later.

“Maybe he has a girlfriend after all.” Ana smiled, resting her elbows on the edge of the pool.

I glared blankly in his direction, wondering the same thing. As much as I told myself I shouldn’t be interested, my curiosity wouldn’t give me a break.

“Alec, care to join us for a swim?” Megan asked in a raised voice as soon as he got off the phone.

He smiled politely, but shook his head and pulled out a book, apparently preferring to stay away and watch over us from a distance.

I turned around determined to scold her, but my jaw dropped open when I caught her on the verge of removing her bikini top. “Meg, what the hell are you doing?” I gaped dismayed.

“I’m taking it off. I want to get tanned evenly,” she answered calmly.

“Don’t you dare!” I felt my brows furrow. “He’ll see you. Have you no shame?”

“So what? It’s not like he’s never seen a pair of breasts before,” she retorted.

I glanced at him and found him smiling again, watching us amused.
Shit, he can hear us!
I flinched when she moved to sit next to me.

“You’re being a little defensive,” she murmured in my ear with a trace of suspicion in her voice. “You never cared if I took my top off before, nor if I flirted with a guy now and then. So what’s the problem now?”

“I don’t want my friends displaying their boobs in front of the staff. Hit on whoever you want, but not on my bodyguard.”

“Oh...I see...” She smirked.

“What?” I frowned.

“Nothing...” Her smile broadened, but refusing to tell me whatever she was thinking, she dove inside the water to evade my questions.

Annoyed with my friend and myself, I chose to walk away and distance myself from them, not in the mood to deal with their games. Fretting and fuming did me absolutely no good, but the emotions fit the mood I found myself in. They called after me, but I ignored them and stalked off in a huff, heading to my room. Once there, I changed into my riding clothes and hurried toward the stables. After all, I had promised Marley I’d take him for a ride and I knew he was the only one who could soothe me.

I smiled when I came across John and approached him gladly. “Hey...”

“Oh, hello, dear. I’ve just finished feeding them. I see you want to take him out.” He grinned, glancing at my outfit.

“Yes. I miss riding so much. Can you please saddle him up for me?”

“Absolutely. You can wait outside if you want. I’ll bring him right over.”

“Thank you, John.” I kissed his cheek, making him smile again.

Outside, standing by the wooden ranch style fence, I encountered Alec. The sight of him stopped me in my tracks and my heart skipped, beating an erratic tattoo in my chest. “Would you please quit following me?” I strolled cautiously as I approached him.

“The girls said I should check on you. They were worried.”

I sighed. “Alec, I’m fine. This is my home. I’m perfectly safe here. What part of stay away don’t you understand?” My voice was unusually low when I said the words, lacking the strength and determination to order him to leave.

“What if I can’t stay away?” His voice deepened and the look he was giving me made me weak in the knees.

A violent tremor of arousal shook me to my core. He was watching me, his eyes connected with mine, then lowered to caress my cheek. Alec was touching me with his gaze and I could feel it over every inch of my quivering body. I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry.

“You have beautiful eyes...your cheeks are the prettiest shade of pink…your lips—”
What’s he saying?
I watched his expression change, a tiny spark igniting into a fiery blaze. “Don’t hate me,” he murmured. I barely had time to react as he quickly leaned in to bring his lips to mine. Their firmness stirred the hunger deep within me, beguiling and coaxing as he caressed my parted mouth. Alec angled his head slightly to take advantage of my opening lips. The soft flick of his tongue over the center of my lower lip dismantled me entirely, its effects traveling all the way down to my aching center. The moment his tongue moved across mine he growled, his chest vibrating against my breasts. My pulse accelerated and pounded in my temples. My mind shouted at me to pull away, but I simply couldn’t bring myself to do it. His arms circled my waist, and pulling me closer he deepened the kiss. When he touched my face with a trembling hand, caressing the curve of my brow, a knot unwound in my heart and I lost myself in him.

In the midst of our heated kissing the sound of approaching horse hooves striking the pavement broke the spell and brought me back to reality abruptly. My reasoning cried out to stop, but I didn’t have the strength to push him away. His powerful arms were locked around me to prevent me from escaping him. The sound drew nearer and my breath caught in my chest. Despite the light-headed feeling that came with his kiss, the alarm bells ringing in my head helped me muster enough resistance to shove him away and break the kiss.

Alec stood in front of me, his fingers caressing my cheek. “You are delicate and so very beautiful.”

I started to speak, but before I could say anything, he pulled me back into the circle of his arms and stole another kiss. Then his eyes locked on John and he started as if awakening. His arms fell to his sides as he released me.

“Marley is ready to go, dear,” John told me with a bright smile on his face.

Cold chills rushed through my muscles in spite of the warm summer day. I wondered if he’d seen anything, or better said how much of it he’d seen.

“Th-thank you...” I stuttered hoarsely, mounting the horse.

“Sir, could I take a horse too?” Alec asked, and something in his voice signaled urgency.

“Sure—”

“Alec! I want to be alone. Please...” Giving him one last look, I departed at a great gallop.

Marley tossed his head, visibly enjoying his freedom and having someone take him out for a run.

The trail we chose first crossed a creek, then leveled off in a grassy meadow flourishing with flowers before it climbed up again. In no time at all we came to the stream where my father used to take me fishing.

Tears flooded my eyes and I was forced to stop and dismount. I sat down on a rock by a fresh green patch of meadow turf and overlooked the stream, desperate to regain my composure.

My mouth parted as I gasped for air, but pressing my shaky fingers to my lips I began to trace their soft shape, lingering on my full lower lip like his tongue had done. I could still feel the taste of his kiss. Squeezing my eyes tightly shut, I wished I could erase the memory of his mouth on mine.
This is wrong! So wrong! I’m not ready for this!
I had to keep a clear head and stay in control.

I could hear the sound of the galloping horse way before I could see it. I knew it was Alec. No matter what I did or said to him, the man had a stubborn habit of tailing me. He was relentless. In spite of my turmoil, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was as relentless in other areas of his life as well. That focused, determined passion would be irresistible in bed. I quickly wiped my tears off my face, feeling both my cheeks were burning.

He stopped at a considerable distance when he found me and just stared at me, apparently deciding on how to proceed. Alec took his time, approaching me at a slow, cautious pace, as he would approach a small, frightened animal which would dash away at the least provocation.

“I really can’t get five minutes alone?” I grouched, looking at him through speculative eyes.

For a moment he appeared disconcerted and I felt a sad satisfaction.

“It is part of my job description,” he murmured quietly, stopping a few feet away.

I shook my head, tired of hearing the same old explanation over and over again. “Is kissing me a part of your job description too?” I demanded.

“You kissed me back,” he retorted in a calmly manner. Alec never gave anything away, none of what he was feeling. It infuriated me.

“It will never happen again. I don’t want you to touch me.” I managed.

“Oh, really? I could make you beg me to touch you,” he said simply. The smug grin he wore, displaying his perfect white teeth, was the epitome of defiance to me. In a matter of seconds he changed from calm and reasonable to imposing and defiant, faster than a chameleon could change the color of its skin. But instead of anger I could feel excitement sparking through my veins like wild fire.

I jumped to my feet and I halfway expected him to step back, but he stood his ground. “Why did you do it? What are you trying to achieve? Is this some kind of game to you?” I drew back my fist as if to strike out at him, but he caught it easily. His hands wrapped around my wrists, holding me securely. “Let go!” I cried.

“Be still,” he commanded. His voice was dark velvet, raspy with magic and sex. I stared into his eyes. I didn’t understand the sensations rioting through me. It was frightening. Alec’s jaw clenched. He made a noise—a growl—and suddenly his mouth crushed down on mine and plundered, taking me completely off guard. The kiss warmed me, his tongue tasting until I was panting, furious at myself for wanting more. I writhed against him trying to escape, but he was too strong and demanding. My struggles resulted in my breasts scrubbing across his hard chest, making my nipples feel swollen and heavy, betraying me. I stilled and he finally allowed me to breathe, but I was trapped in his arms.

Alec was breathing harshly, his eyes clashed with mine, then moved down to kiss my swollen lips one more time. I couldn’t handle it, so I jerked my face away. “I want more,” he groaned, releasing my right wrist. With gentle but firm movements he twisted my hair around his hand until I had no choice but to look at him. There was a heat in his eyes which belied the mildness and candor of his countenance. He had no right to appear so in control when my flesh was tight and achy and I needed...

Damn him!
Mr. Confusing has done it again.

“Say you never want it to happen again,” he whispered a few inches away from my face, his eyes daring me.

“I...I never want it to happen again,” I replied in a peremptory whisper, ignoring the pulse of need pounding between my thighs.

“Liar...” He freed me from his grip and returned to his horse. He mounted him and then waited expectantly for me to follow him.

I was not sure why I did it, but I fulfilled his silent wish and got up on my horse, joining him. My mind, my emotions and my heart were in total disarray.

The horses quickened their pace, broke into a trot and then went into a canter side by side.

There were so many unanswered questions swirling inside my brain, but I was afraid to address them to him, afraid of what he might tell me, of what I might discover.

Images of our passionate embrace danced in front of my eyes. I shook my head, but the feeling wouldn’t go away. No matter how much I fought not to allow him to tempt me, I found it impossible to resist him. The more I tried, the more intense the longing grew, startling me. Fear twisted in my gut as I realized I was slowly but surely losing control over my own will. I forbade myself to scream in frustration or show any sign of weakness.

We reached the stables and let John take care of the horses before we started for the house.

“Kristen...” Alec addressed me by my name for the first time, a question and an apology in his tone.

A fine tremor rocked me and a tingle sprang to life in my breasts, stopping me in my tracks. I had never dreamed the sound of one man’s voice speaking my name could invoke such longing within me.

His hand gently locked around my arm and spun me around to face him. “Look...I’m sorry if I upset you today. I really am. I couldn’t—”

“Don’t. Alec...please don’t tease me. What happened today was wrong. I never should have kissed you. We don’t know each other...at all. You don’t even respect me or what I say to you. I don’t know what Mother would say. A bodyguard daring to kiss her daughter...” I blinked, trying to picture her reaction.

“I’m not afraid of her or anybody else,” he said dryly.

“Perhaps you should be.”

“I’m not. I’m my own man. But it looks like you’re afraid of her. You wouldn’t even breathe if she told you not to.”

“That’s not true.” I frowned.

“Then why do you care so much about what she may have to say in regard to us?”

“There is no ‘us’, Alec! Whatever
this
is, it never happened. For your sake and mine, just drop it before it ends badly.”

“Badly...as in you falling in love with the son of a mere bodyguard?”

I trembled. “I’ll never fall in love. Not with you, nor with any other man. So forget it!”

“Never say never, sweetheart.” He took one last long look at me before strolling away. I felt like I’d been run over by a steamroller.

*  *  *

The gentle knock on my door snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Come in.”

“Hey. Is everything all right, Kris?” Megan asked with a concerned look and walked in, followed by Ana.

“Yeah. I’m fine...”

“You skipped lunch.” Ana curled up next to me in bed.

“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?” Megan settled on my other side.

I shook my head. “No, I’m not mad.”

“Then why are you hiding in your room and not coming to eat? It’s lovely outside. Now you have Martha worried too.”

“I’m not hiding. Just meditating. I enjoy being alone with my thoughts sometimes.”

“You only do this when you’re sad.” Ana sighed. “I thought we came here to have fun. But you don’t seem to be in the mood. What’s holding you back? Honestly, you’re different than the Kristen you were a couple of weeks ago. Is Alec to blame for this?”

“Alec, Mother...”

“What did he do to you now?”

Oh, you have no idea!
“I keep arguing with Mom. All my life I’ve done everything in my power to please her, hoping it would take away a little bit of the sadness caused by my father’s death. I went to the schools she chose, took piano lessons, played sports, agreed to become involved in the company, and she’s still not satisfied. The one thing I’ve always refused is becoming a model. That’s my biggest flaw,” I grunted, hugging my pillow. “She even introduced me to a few men she saw fit for me. I’m sure she’d have me marry a man of her choice if she could. Someone with great fortune and well educated to match her standards. And she raised me thinking that way too.”

I stood up to walk to the window, idly playing with the curtain as I paused for a moment to gather myself. “Her problem is that she cares too much about what other people think and always tries to impress them. Since I represent her most valuable ‘asset’, she wants me to be the best in everything so her friends wouldn’t have anything bad to say about us. She doesn’t realize the enormous pressure she puts on me. And when I finally reached the legal age to literally do whatever the hell I wanted, she freaked out and added another leash to my collar.”

I decided not to bring up all the stalking nonsense. I had no intention of worrying my friends over nothing. “Honestly, I never gave much thought to all these things before. But right now I just can’t believe how controlling she can be. She claimed I needed a bodyguard to keep me safe, but the more I think about it, the clearer it becomes that she’s using him to control me, to make sure nothing escapes her. She chose a younger guy so I wouldn’t be inhibited to be my normal self. She’s cleverer than I thought.” I concluded with a growl.

“Should I talk to Lillian and tell her how you feel?” Megan offered.

“What’s the point? Nothing I say or do will change the way she thinks. So why bother?”

“Maybe she’ll change once you get married and move into your own home,” Ana said.

“I doubt that. I don’t know what to do with her. I’ve tried to be reasonable. I’ve tried to be patient. I just wish she’d give me a choice and not try to decide everything for me all the time. Things would be different if Dad were here. He was much more understanding than she is. But now he’s gone and I have to deal with her on my own.”

Megan grabbed my hand to pull me up. “Let’s get you something to eat and then go for a walk. Forget about her at least while we’re here. Please...” she pleaded.

I nodded and followed them downstairs, hoping I wouldn’t bump into my real great reason for concern—Alec.