Read The Guardian of My Soul (Soul's Desire) Online
Authors: Emily A. Lawrence
“Mom, I’ve grown. I’m not your little baby anymore. There are things I’d like to keep to myself. Did you tell your mother everything when you were my age?”
“Um...no, but—”
“See? Then why won’t you give me a little space?” I stepped out of her embrace.
“Fine. More freedom. I’ll tell Alec we no longer need his services. How about that? Will that make me a better mom? After all, your attitude toward me changed the moment I brought him in. If he’s the reason why you’re always upset with me, then I’ll let him go.”
“What?” I wheezed. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe. My legs struggled just to keep standing in front of her. My mind was unable to process what I wanted my body to do. There was no reaction. My hands tingled as my fingernails dug into my palms. My heart felt like it was about to leap through my chest. My lips sealed, and my eyes were riveted to her, but I couldn’t see a thing. It felt as though the floor was beginning to give way and swallow me whole. My entire world crumbled around me, as I struggled quietly to come to terms with this nightmare, desperately looking for a way out.
“Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“No!” I shouted, startling her with my sudden outburst. “I know you! I’d rather have him than be followed around by your men from a distance. I’m perfectly fine like this. Now don’t we have a meeting to attend?” I desperately tried to distract her from this awful idea.
“We do,” she replied, eyeing me questioningly.
“Don’t give me that look, Mom. I wanted him to go. Yes. But if I were to choose between him and your shadows, I’d pick him. At least he knows where his place is and doesn’t bother me anymore.”
“All right. I’m glad you’ve worked things out,” she said dryly, but I shifted from foot to foot when I detected a slight suspicion in her voice. “Let’s go then,” she murmured after a long pause.
* * *
Tall, gorgeous women filled Mom’s large conference room. I smiled when I saw Ana among them and she gave me a reassuring grin. Discomfort caused the smile on my face to evaporate when Mom enthusiastically introduced me to the girls as her daughter. Once more she managed to make me feel like her most valuable asset, and I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat, hating the attention and having all eyes on me.
The girls smiled and greeted me, but there was a trace of bitterness in the way they looked at me. My anxiety intensified as I realized they were not very pleased to see me.
Jeez, what’s wrong with you people? Don’t tell me you’re envious. You fools! You wouldn’t want to be in my shoes!
I leaned back in my seat and watched Mom interacting with them as she described the Saturday’s event.
My mind drifted in reverie for a moment, thinking worriedly about how close I’d been to getting Alec fired and out of my life. In the beginning, the mere sight of him irked me, but now, at the prospect of losing him, it seemed like the end of the world. Absently, I wondered why I always had to be on the verge of losing something before I truly appreciated it.
The sound of a cell phone ringing broke the conversation I had deftly tuned out, but it was not enough to snap me out of my trance.
“Kristen?” Mom nudged me, and only when I noticed everybody staring at me I figured out the noise was coming from my purse.
“Oh, excuse me.” Nervously, I fished for my iPhone as I quickly exited the room to take the call. I felt the warmth flowing through me when I saw it was Alec and I couldn’t hold back the smile, nor prevent the jump in my pulse. “Yes?” I answered brightly.
His sweet chuckle relaxed me. “Am I bothering you?”
“Actually, you are. I was in a meeting with Mom.”
“Drat! Sorry about that. I just wanted to let you know I delivered the suitcases. They were very happy and thankful. They’re hosting an auction next weekend and decided to sell the clothes. Since they’re all designer clothes I’m sure they’ll make good money on them.”
“That’s good news. I’m glad I could help.” I was pleased. “Alec?”
“Yes?”
“Where’s Paola?” I asked nonchalantly, thought it bugged me tremendously to know he was alone with her.
He sighed as soon as I mentioned her name. “She’s inside a store. She’s been there for over an hour now. I’m in the car bored to death. Oh, and she talks too much,” he complained.
I laughed, relieved to hear he wasn’t thrilled with her presence. “I know what you mean. Hang in there, though...”
“I don’t have a choice,” he grunted resigned.
“Alec...I’m glad I got to hear your voice,” I whispered sheepishly.
He said nothing for a moment and I pressed the phone hard to my ear, listening to his breathing. “So am I, Miss...” he teased, his soft voice bouncing against my ear drum.
A broad grin splashed across my face. I hung up the phone and leaned against the wall, completely forgetting about the meeting, his words still reverberating in my brain.
The conference door swinging open and sharp heels clicking on the tile floor alerted me the meeting was over. Then, the angry look on Mom’s face announced I was in deep trouble. I froze in place, feeling guilty for walking out on her.
“Kristen!” Ana beamed, hugging me tight. “Who was it, naughty?” She giggled. “You didn’t return.”
“I was bored, but don’t tell Mom,” I said to excuse myself. “She’s gonna scold me anyway.”
She grabbed my arm and pulled me aside. “Are you seeing anyone?”
“What? Why would you think that?”
“Well, you’ve been daydreaming the entire meeting. Then you got a call and forgot to come back.” She smiled knowingly.
I flushed. “I’m not dating anyone.”
She nodded, but I could tell she wasn’t convinced. “I’m sorry about what happened with Ian. I couldn’t believe it. I only found out last night and I wanted to call you, but it was too late. Are you okay?”
“I’m perfectly fine. How did you find out?”
“Sam and I bumped into him yesterday at the club. He was with another girl, so we obviously went to ask him what the hell he was doing. He told us you two broke up.”
“Did he tell you why?”
“No. I was hoping you’d tell me.”
I frowned. “Last time we all went to the club Alec saw him outside the bathroom with some girl. Can you believe that? I was right there and yet he dared to fool around with someone else.”
“Holy crap! Why would he cheat on you? Who the hell would cheat on
you
?” She scowled upset. “I would have kicked his ass last night, if I’d known about this. Why the heck don’t you tell us anything?” She crossed her arms.
“Ana, it doesn’t matter, okay? I was never much into him anyway. I guess he could tell and tried his luck with someone else. Honestly, I don’t care. He’s free to do whatever he wishes.” Especially since I was as unfaithful as he was. “Did you tell Megan?”
“No. I wanted to talk to you first.”
“Good. I’ll tell her when we meet again. But seriously, don’t worry about me. More than once I thought of ending it with him. We weren’t compatible. He’s not what I’m looking for.”
“I’m sure you’ll find somebody sooner or later.” She hugged me again. “Hopefully you don’t have to wait too long for that to happen.”
“I’m in no hurry...”
“Kristen?” Mom called, causing us to separate.
“I’ve got to go.” I rolled my eyes. “See you soon.”
“Take care, Kris.” She kissed my cheek before walking away.
* * *
The door to Mom’s office closed with a thud. I winced and turned around to find her fuming with anger.
“You don’t walk out of a meeting, Kristen! I can’t believe you’d do that to me! It shows lack of professionalism and disrespect! Your damn phone is supposed to be off. I thought you understood proper business conduct,” she snapped. “One day I’ll pass this business to you. How the hell will you be able to handle it if you don’t even pay attention?” Was this a good time to tell her about my jewelry business idea? I doubted it.
“I’m sorry. I made a mistake and it won’t happen again!” I threw myself on her black leather couch and hid my face in my hands to avoid her angry, adamant gaze.
“I want you to promise me you’ll do your best to act professionally from now on. This is serious business, not child’s play, Kristen. Our actions and behavior can affect our company in a positive or negative way, so please try to be more responsible.”
The knock on the door interrupted her speech and I was relieved.
“Come in,” she said in a softer tone.
“Mrs. Mancuso, Kristen...” Niall said, smiling at us.
“Oh, hi...” Mom grinned, inviting him to take a seat next to me.
“Hi,” I said. Once more his presence made me feel rather uneasy.
“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”
“No, not at all. Would you like something to drink?” Mom offered kindly.
“Just coffee, please.”
She nodded and called her secretary, who walked in a moment later with coffee for everyone.
“Thank you,” he said and took a sip. “So...I brought a sample of the perfume’s final version. I really hope you like it,” he told us while opening his briefcase. He pulled out a round shaped crystal bottle with a dotty etched detail across it and a diamond shaped top. Its light blue color shone brightly in the sun, and I instinctively reached for it. He smiled and offered it to me.
I took the top off and sprayed a puff into the air, allowing the scent to envelope me in a light mist. “Wow...it really smells great. I like it,” I murmured, passing it to Mother.
She grinned and took a whiff as well. “It’s perfect. I’m really satisfied with how it turned out.” Mother looked proud and excited about it. I was thankful. At least it took her anger away.
“How about I take you two ladies out to dinner tonight and celebrate?” Niall asked in a businesslike tone which didn’t fool me for a second.
Damn, this man is never going to give up!
“How nice—”
“Mom, I can’t.” I cut her off quickly. “I already promised Paola I’d take her to the cinema this evening,” I lied, desperate to get rid of him somehow. I’d much rather be with Paola than with this man. Something about him simply did not inspire trust, and the way he kept staring at my cleavage whenever he thought I couldn’t see him, appalled me.
“I’m sorry, Niall. Maybe some other time,” Mom said to him. He gave her a light nod as he stood up to leave. “We’ll keep in touch. Thank you so much for everything you did for us. I truly appreciate it. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“It’s been a pleasure and an honor to work with you,” he replied as we walked him through the door. He kissed Mom’s hand and then he reached out for mine.
I placed it in his reluctantly and watched how his eyes darted to my chest as he leaned down to kiss it. Repulsed, I could hardly control myself and not yank my hand free.
“Kristen!” Paola’s excited voice caused me to flinch and step away from him.
Alec was standing next to her, staring at Niall with his jaw clenched and his hands curled into fists. His expression told me he’d seen the way Niall had looked at me a moment earlier.
“Goodbye, ladies,” Niall said and retired quietly.
“What are you two doing here?” Mom asked them, smiling.
“I told him to bring me. I was curious to see where you work.” She beamed.
“That’s all right, dear. So, I heard you’re going to a movie tonight.”
“Yes, I’m taking her to a comedy.” I intervened hastily, breaking eye contact with Alec.
“Really?” Paola asked intrigued.
“Of course.”
“Wait a minute. She didn’t know you were taking her?” Mom inquired upset, realizing I had lied to her.
“I don’t want to ever go to dinner with Niall, Mom.”
“Why not?” She fussed, pushing me back inside her office.
“He’s been staring at my chest the entire meeting.” I frowned. “That’s not the behavior of a thirty-one-year-old. He was acting as if he were fifteen and had never seen a pair of breasts before!”
“What are you talking about?” she growled. “You must have imagined it.”
I faced her with concern, and I was sure my countenance reflected my emotions. “I’m not blind, Mom! I know what I saw! I’ll be in my office.” I retreated, hurt that she didn’t believe me.
Both Paola and Alec followed me inside and I looked at them surprised.
“What happened?” she asked concerned.
“It doesn’t matter.”
She looked at me in silence for a moment. “Um...then...are we going to the cinema or not?”
“Yes, we’re going,” I replied.
She nodded briefly. “I’ll go hang out with Lillian a little while.”
My eyes darted to Alec as soon as she was out the door, searching his face and trying to decipher his mood. His expression gave nothing away, but I could tell he was upset.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Alec held his hand out to me and I put mine in his, letting him pull me in a warm, soothing hug.
I lost myself in the strength of his arms as our bodies pressed tighter together. I had been longing for this moment all day.
His nose worked into my hair and he kissed me there, stroking lightly along my spine, so faintly I trembled. He stopped and locked his arms around me hard. I felt like he could crush me if he wished.
With great effort, I drew my head back to look into his face. My eyes shut when he leaned down, capturing my lips in another searing kiss as he eased his questing tongue inside my mouth. I sucked on it feverishly, caressing his cheeks before moving my hands down to the hard planes of his chest.
He cupped my bottom, squeezing and fondling it, pressing me yet closer to him if possible. His mouth devoured mine with need, leaving me breathless.
“Wow, you sure missed me.” We broke apart, my breath coming in short hard pants.
“I’d lie if I said no...” he whispered, still holding my butt.
I smiled and placed my hands over his. “What are you doing?” I asked playfully.
“Nothing,” he replied, feigning innocence, but the wicked grin he displayed betrayed him.
“You like it?” I felt myself blushing, more so than ever before.
“I love it,” he said in a lusty tone which made my belly tingle. “It’s perfect...” His teeth sank into his lower lip and he pressed his forehead to mine. His hard voice and naughty gesture sent a ripple of excitement through me. My insides tensed.
I pulled away abruptly when I heard Mom talking to Paola outside my door and went to sit down behind my desk, already aching for his touch.
“Ok, handsome, we can go now,” Paola said as they walked in together, grinning at Alec.
“Yes, Miss.” He left without looking at me, while all I could think about was how to send her as far away from him as possible.
“See you later,” she said and rushed after him.
“What now, Mom?” I asked, not pleased with the look she was giving me.
She waved her hand in the air dismissively as she shook her head at me, then walked out of my office.
Neither of us spoke on our way home. I was tired, nervous and worried about the complicated situation I had unwillingly gotten myself into.
* * *
Paola’s face hovering over me was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes.
What the heck?
Looking around, I realized I’d fallen asleep on the living room couch while watching TV.
“Hey...I didn’t mean to scare you, but...you said—”
“Yeah, yeah, movie,” I grumbled, all out of sorts. “What time is it?”
“Five-thirty.”
“All right. I’ll go get ready.” I hoisted myself off the couch and stalked toward my room. When I returned my heart did a little flip at the sight of a gorgeous Alec in the lobby. The sleeves of his casual gray suit were rolled up to his elbows, exposing his powerful forearms. The view was so damn sexy I hovered on the last step of the staircase, drinking him in mesmerized.
His dazzling boyish grin reached my eyes with a twinkle, luring me closer. There was a familiar mischief in his gaze and for one fleeting moment my heart stung as I was forced to keep a distance. “Beautiful,” he said in a barely audible whisper, assessing my appearance.
“Hot,” I replied equally low, giving him a small smile.
“Here I come!” Paola announced, rushing down the stairs. Dressed in a mini skirt and a low-cut tight top, she beamed at us, her large breasts almost overflowing her bra.
“Are you seriously going to wear that?” I asked concerned.
“Yes, why not? It’s hot outdoors,” she said, stopping in front of Alec.
To my pleasant surprise, he turned and headed outside without looking at her chest, seemingly unimpressed.
“What’s wrong? You don’t like the way I dress?”
“It doesn’t suit you. We’re not going to a nightclub, you know?”
“Come on, Kris. Loosen up, will you?” She went after Alec.
My shoulders slumped as I followed her, deciding not to get upset over something so insignificant. It was only when she got into the front passenger seat that I nearly combusted on the spot.
That’s my car, my seat and my man!
I took a few mouthfuls of air to calm down before climbing into the backseat.
Alec gave me a worried look in the mirror, wordlessly begging me to let it go.
I nodded discreetly and turned to look out the window as he drove away.
“So where are you going to take me tomorrow?” Paola asked him brightly. “I had a great time today!”
“Wherever you need to go,” he replied dryly, his eyes never leaving the road.
“How about we go to the beach? We could swim, lie in the sun and get tanned...”
God, could you get any more tanned than you already are?
“If you want to go I’ll take you and wait for you in the car.”
“Oh, but why?”
“He’s a bodyguard, not an entertainer, Paola. Leave him alone,” I said coolly, unable to control my sudden pang of jealousy.
“Jeez, don’t be so harsh. He could use some fun too,” she retorted stubbornly.
I bit my tongue to keep quiet, Alec’s concerned look in the mirror forcing me to remain silent. I couldn’t betray my true feelings for him in front of her. I had to be careful.
“I’m sorry, Miss, but I don’t do such things when I’m on my job.”
She sighed, but didn’t argue anymore.
When we got there Alec put a comforting hand on my lower back as he led me inside. His touch made calm spread through me and deep inside I wished we were alone.
“Can you buy the tickets?” I asked, handing him the money.
He nodded, but walked away without taking it.
I pouted, my eyes never leaving him as we waited for him to return.
Before getting to our seats, we bought some drinks and popcorn. Once inside, I settled in between them. Paola didn’t seem to notice, digging into the popcorn right away.
I leaned back comfortably when the movie started and crossed my legs. It unfolded before my eyes, but I didn’t see a thing, too stressed out to actually care about the plot.
Alec took my hand in his and pulled it to his lap. His gesture surprised me and I quickly blocked Paola’s view with my popcorn, though I doubted she could see much in the dark. He gave it a gentle squeeze, his thumb lightly stroking the back of my hand in a slow circular motion. I completely ignored the movie, focusing on every sensation his touch produced in me.
I loved this tender side of him. My mood changed and I began to relax, pleased to discover how sweet he could be when he wanted to.
He let go abruptly and I was about to protest when his fingers suddenly grazed my leg, in spite of Paola’s presence.
I wanted to push him away but I couldn’t, enjoying and needing him too much. Naughtily, his fingers inched under my dress and stopped to rest on my upper thigh. I gasped and placed my hand over his to prevent him from going any higher. My breathing quickened, my vagina throbbing with each beat of my pulse. The need grew like a fever, making me crazy. I could already sense the moisture in my panties.
With gentle caresses, he massaged my overly sensitive skin, triggering my spine to jerk. He must have felt me since he withdrew, ending the sweet torment.
There was a ghost of a smile on his face when I turned to look at him, so I decided to give him a little bit of his own medicine. My trembling hand found his hard inner thigh and moved slowly up and down along it, reaching closer and closer to his manhood.
He tensed and grabbed my wrist to stop me, hissing at me with warning.
I grinned victoriously, then bit my lip to stifle the delighted giggle before it had a chance to escape.
He regarded me shrewdly for an instant and then shook his head, apparently entertained by our provocative little game. His hand once more clasped mine, holding it tenderly until the show was over.
“Nice movie, wasn’t it?” Paola asked, getting into the car.
“Yes. Funny too,” I said, though I had no clue what it was about.
Alec choked back a chuckle when he heard me, before the sound of it could become an obvious noise and draw her attention. His palm lightly grazed my butt as he opened the back door for me, his taunting touch inciting a riot within me I couldn’t quell.
I arched into his touch, wiggling my bottom in blatant invitation before finally getting into the car as well.
He stood by the door frozen. His emerald eyes bored into mine like twin lasers, holding me captive within their heated gaze.
He wants me. He wants me as badly as I want him.
Heat burned me inside and out, my sanity fled and my body started screaming for him.
Damn it, I can’t take this anymore!
I reached for the car’s handle and pulled the door closed.
“Can we go somewhere else? It’s still early,” Paola said once he was back into the driver’s seat.
“I’m tired and I want to go home,” I replied.
“What’s happened to you, Kristen? Four years ago when I last visited you, you were quite a party girl, staying up all night. Now you want to get in bed by ten.” A questioning look fell over her face. Her eyes narrowed.
“Where do you want to go anyway? You’re nineteen. You’re not allowed in clubs or bars.”
“Age never stopped you from going where you wanted to go,” she retorted.
“That’s different.” I frowned, feeling my blood pressure rising.
“What? You forgot how Lillian scolded you the time you snuck into a club at seventeen and got drunk with your friends?” She smiled, feigning innocence.
Put out, I leaned forward to give her a piece of my mind, hoping to discourage her from enumerating all the mistakes I’d made in the past. Alec didn’t need to hear them. “Paola, you still have the nerve to smile in my face after what you did? You could have kept quiet, you know? I couldn’t get away from Mom for months after that incident.”
“Miss,” Alec said, placing his palm on my shoulder and pushing me back into my seat. “People are walking by. Take it easy...”
“Wow, I didn’t mean to upset you so much,” she whined.
“Drop it.” I closed my eyes, trying to compose myself. “Drive home, Alec,” I directed disgruntled.
He nodded and obeyed me, none of us speaking anymore.
* * *
As the week went by my anxiety increased with each passing day up to a point it was becoming hard to bear. Mom’s attitude toward me was unchanged and the amount of work she gave me kept me busy, despite my troubles with concentrating on my chores. The stress at work combined with the lack of sleep was starting to seriously weigh on me.
To make matters worse, Alec’s constant absence while he was out entertaining Paola depressed me tremendously. Some days I barely got to see him for a couple of minutes in the evening. He didn’t look for me, and I couldn’t risk going to him because of Paola’s presence in the house. The longing to be in his arms proved so strong, I cried myself to sleep and woke up with a start almost every night, worried that I was slowly losing him.
Paola’s enthusiasm at spending time with him and the rapt look on her face whenever she spoke of him or looked at him, made me realize she had developed a crush on Alec. The way she flirted with him right in front of my eyes unsettled me, and I had an extremely hard time staying away. Though he didn’t seem to respond to her advances, my heart ached each time I saw her trying to weasel herself under his skin. I watched them powerless.
* * *
Saturday morning found me with a terrible headache. I was a mess, both physically and emotionally, lacking all will to get out of bed. My eyes stung from all the crying and my face seemed sore and swollen. It was as if someone had just punched the living daylights out of me. My head felt heavy when I tried to get up, so I quickly abandoned the attempt and let myself fall back on my pillow.
My heart was in my throat when I heard Alec’s voice outside my door, calling me in a low tone. He opened the door when I didn’t answer and stepped inside, holding a tray with food on it.
“Kristen?” he sounded worried, reaching my bed in two long strides. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?” His eyes were wide in alarm.
I sighed. “Go away.” I turned my back at him, hiding my face in the pillow.
“What?” He put the tray away and sat down next to me, his hand locking around my arm. “Look at me.”
“No,” I whispered.
He pulled me to him forcefully and I could not resist his strength, my chest slamming against his.
I struggled hard not to cry. “Go away before they see you here.” I managed to say weakly.
“Your Mom left early to make sure everything was settled for tonight’s show. She told me to bring you some food and take you there later.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere.” I protested, trying to escape him, but he held me tighter still.
“You have to go. Don’t give her more reasons to scold you.”
“She’s been ignoring me all week. So did you, by the way,” I accused him upset.
“Hey, you think I did that on purpose? I wanted to come to you every night, but I couldn’t. I bumped into Paola twice already. I’m running out of excuses.”
“She’s drooling all over you. I can’t stand it anymore,” I wailed.
“When is she leaving?” he asked, sounding exasperated as well.
“I don’t know. She may never want to leave because of you.” I worried.
He pressed his lips against my forehead. “I’ll come tonight. I promise. Now pull yourself together and don’t let this get to you. I’ll wait for you downstairs.” He captured my mouth with his, not soft but tough and full of promise. His tongue scorched a trail along my lips before plundering my mouth, searching inside hungrily.
I quivered, need flickering through my body. I had missed him so much, it felt as if a piece of me was missing when he broke the kiss and walked out the door.
* * *