The Gift of Volkeye (23 page)

“Yeah,” Mawg replied.

All four of them let out a deep sigh of relief and then went to take seats in the den.

“So Sing, you’re an adult here, why don’t you stay up awhile and tell me a bit about yourself,” Zynathian said, extending his hand.

Sing shook it eagerly, pleased to finally meet he that she’d heard so much about. “Oh, Maugrimm must’ve told you.”

“Not the details, hon,” Maugrimm yelled over his shoulder, while heading to a table to write Belch’s letter. He noticed Jix had already taken a comfortable place on a bed of napkins and regretted that he was soon to disturb him.

Before Zynathian and Sing could begin talking, Asha snuck in the conversation with an inquiry that was ever gnawing at her.

“Why did you tamper with Khye and Lyn? They’re perfectly healthy. It’s so unlike you to perform unnecessary surgery!”

Sing was intrigued by this as well, but could sense some hesitation in Zynathian. He took a deep breath before responding. Maugrimm, listening from afar, squeezed his eyes shut, while antici
pating Asha’s worrisome antics.

Zynathian sighed. “All right, but you have to promise me that you won’t flip out.”

7

Beatrice and Bertha sat at a table in the corner, conversing on the past. They’d been the best of friends ever since the “Maugrimm” incident, and they’d also become two of Belch’s regulars. He quite liked them and they, him—they were very good tippers! Belch often let them come after hours when they had the restaurant all to themselves. This was one such night.

Belch watched them as they ate their food (Beatrice especially). Before when she came, she’d only eat because she was on a date with Maugrimm, and it was the polite thing to do. Other than that, however, she was accustomed to dining on her own mucus—not real food. But over the last couple of years, she’d warmed to Belch’s idea of sustenance, and this greatly pleased him.

“Enjoying the meal, are we?” he said from behind the bar.

Beatrice shoveled another steak in her mouth and grinned. “You’re a damn good cook, friend, I’ll give ya’ that! However, you’re a fool if ya’ think this stuff can compete with my snot recipes!”

Belch made a face, pretending he was about to throw up. “And what, pray tell, are those recipes?”

“Let’s see, there’s:
the Stir Fried Mucus Meal; Artichokes with Lightly Salted Boogers; Snot on a Stick; Booger Pot Pie; Yellow Slime Surprise; The Runny Nose; Booger Mousse Cake; Snot Dog; Snot Loaf; Snot Soup; Snot Bru Lei; Snot Luck;
N
ice Crispy Treats; Hamboogers; Booger Broth Stew; Gumbo;
Terror
misu—”

“Oh my...what a bastard Maugrimm was to risk screwing up with a gem like you!” Belch teased.

“Hey, that wasn’t very nice!” Bertha grinned, sticking up for her friend.

“I know...I couldn’t resist. Forgive me, dears.”

“You’re forgiven. You know, Belch, you’re kinda’ cute. You’d be the perfect man if you were but a few feet taller!” Beatrice said.

“I think even then you’d be a little too much woman for me.”

Beatrice snorted and continued eating.

“Don’t think you could handle her, Belch? I’m a bit smaller! What about me?” Bertha asked.

“Even you, darling. I can’t imagine how we would have sex!”

“Oh my god, don’t even talk about sex!” Beatrice said through a mouth full of food.

“Neither of us have had a decent shagging since we got rid of Maugrimm!” Bertha added.

Hearing this, Belch spit out his drink and doubled over, convulsing with laughter. His face was glowing red, despite the fact that his skin was green.

“Hey, don’t be laughing at the woes of others! That’s not nice!” Bertha shouted, joining him in laughter.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it!”

“That’s all Mawg was good for anyway! …And ya’ can tell the arrogant bastard I said it!” said Beatrice.

“I would tell him if I didn’t think the idiot would take it as a compliment.”

“True, very true,” Bertha said.

“So when ya’ gonna’ tell Mawg that we’re two of your regulars?” Beatrice asked.

“Shit, you’re a damn sight better than ‘regulars.’ I’d have to say you’re two of my favourite customers…if not, you wouldn’t be in here after hours. And the answer to your question is
‘NEVER!’
I don’t want to hear Maugrimm’s whining about what a traitor I am!”

“That’s not fair…so we gotta’ keep contacting you ahead of time just to make sure that bum isn’t here? I say to hell with Maugrimm’s feelings!”

“That’s easy for you to say, dear, but let us not forget that he is my best friend for nigh on twenty years now!”

Beatrice dropped her fork, and her mouth fell open. “So what are we, chopped liver? Maugrimm may have put in more time than us, but you’d do well to remember, Belch, that we’re the ones with the vaginas!”

“Yeah, and whoever has the vagina gets the special privileges!” Bertha huffed.

“Wow…I’ve never heard that one before. I’ll have to keep that in mind if I’m ever to have a woman of my own!” Belch snickered.

“That’s rule number one!” Beatrice said.

Just as Belch finished wiping down the counter and threw his rag aside, a close friend swooped inside the cave, landing on the bar.

“Jix! How’s it going? When did you and Tesh make it back?” Belch asked while rubbing his fingers through Jix’s silky fur.

Jix dug his claws into the counter, as he stretched. His wings fluttered slightly then relaxed upon his back. With his paw, he pointed at the roll of parchment attached to his collar and then settled on top of Belch’s fluffy rag.

Jix gave a few low murmurs.
This is for you,
he’d said.

“What ya’ got there, little fella’?” Belch unrolled the paper and began reading.

“What? Why is he leaving me with the—? Oh dear. No!”

Belch finished reading and laid the note on the counter, staring into space for a moment. The girls looked upon him with concern.

“Belch, you okay?” Beatrice asked.

“Hey ladies, you don’t mind if I cut your dining short, do you? Something has come up!”

They scarfed down the rest of their food and gathered their belongings. “You look pale. Is everything okay, Belch?” Bertha asked, hesitating at the exit.

“I hope so…we’ll talk soon, ladies. You both take care now!”

“You too. And be sure to fill us in on whatever this is the next time we meet, yeah,” Beatrice said, looking worriedly over her shoulder.

“Absolutely.”

As his friends disappeared into the darkness of the cave, Belch turned to find Jix fast asleep.

“Good night, my friend,” he said, patting Jix gently on his side.

As he cleared the table, the seriousness of the situation began to dawn on him. Although the letter was vague, Belch knew that if Maugrimm was asking him to take over the Igloo indefinitely that some type of mischief was afoot from the outside. Yes, grave danger was stirring indeed!

He covered Jix with a small blanket and went to turn in. As he blew out the last candle on the way to his sleeping quarters, only one thing came to mind.

Phyllamon.

1

“
Rise and shine. How’s my new daughter this morning?” Asha asked, smiling as Sing strolled into the room, wiping the sleep from her eyes.

Sing Tzi Yi blushed, loving to be thought of as a
daughter. “Morning! How is everyone?”

Zynathian and Maugrimm raised their cups of milk to her and grunted, smiling through mouthfuls of pancakes. Sing giggled and went to hug Asha from behind, who was still bent over the stove cooking. Asha turned her head and gave her a wet kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks, Asha.” Sing yawned exhaustedly, as she had been up till dawn getting to know Zynathian. “Are the kids up yet?”

“No, they’re still knocked out.”

“My goodness, how can they sleep with all the racket outside? What is that noise anyway?”

“It’s the Mechs,” Zynathian answered with a bit of pancake falling from his mouth. “Their instructions are to ‘add on.’ There’s going to be extra floors, hundreds more rooms, new kitchens, huge bathrooms…”

“And an arsenal!” Asha quickly added. “That’s most important, Zynathian. My people must be able to protect themselves. I’ll give you instructions and calibration settings for the different types of weapons I want made, and then you have the Mechs get started as soon as possible. I hate to be such bossy tyrant, but it’s necessary.”

“Yeeeeeeees, dear, I haven’t forgotten,” Zynathian replied, irritably.

“Fine.”

“Why in hell must we discuss guns, explosions, and death over pancakes? I would actually like to enjoy this breakfast you’ve made!”

Maugrimm and Sing remained quiet, knowing better than to interject. Asha handed Sing a plate of pancakes without turning around to look at Zynathian. He took the hint and got up.

“Asha, I didn’t mean to yell,” he said, caressing her from behind. “It’s just that I would rather not dwell on the negative, that’s all. The last two weeks have been hell on my state of mind, and I’m just trying to forget about some of it.”

Asha placed a lid over the bacon and eggs and touched his rough, calloused hands. “My stomach has been doing somersaults after what you told me last night about Khye and Lyn Sha. This is life and death, Zynnie. How can you not take it more seriously?”

“Make no mistake...I’m taking it more serious than you can possibly understand. Just wait until you see their new abilities.”

“What did you do?”

“You’ll see. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she said, reconciling with a kiss.

Zynathian took his seat again, continuing his conversation with Sing. “This place should be completely different within a week or so.”

“That fast?”

“Of course. The Mechanicals are much more efficient than humans. Hell, I have the brains, but as far as energy and precision go, I could never do what they do. They don’t get sick or fatigued, and the best part is that they’re about two hundred times faster than a human. They’re as perfect as I could possibly make them.”

“Whatever you do, do it the very best you can!”

“Hey, who told you my motto?” he asked Sing, who appeared to be mocking him.

“I’m not making fun of you…they’re actually great words. It’s just that I always imagined someone with your type of mind would be so much stiffer than you. But you’re like a little kid!”

“Has no one ever told you that simplicity of character is an indicator of unnatural brilliance?” Zynathian said haughtily.

“Oh,
arrogance!
Now that’s what I expect from a genius!” Sing laughed. “Anyway, it was Bahzee who told me.”

“Speaking of which, it’s time to wake her up,” Asha said, sitting down with her own plate.

They shoveled their food into their mouths, eager to look in on Bahzee and Tesh.

2

When finished eating, Asha put the extra food in the warmer, and they exited the kitchen together. They approached the room, tiptoeing. Upon arrival, they panicked, as there appeared to be a heap of clothing on the floor! The two horny teenagers had stripped and been performing acts that were completely forbidden for such a young age! However, as the ex-virgin’s garments began stirring, the overprotective adults found that it was only Toodles, disguised as their worst fear. He was curled up in a ball, wearing the garments that Asha had knit for him. They felt like fools, as there is no way for a small cat in a wool bodysuit to imitate a heaping pile of winter clothing.

Now came the hard part. Everyone crossed their fingers as Asha touched the sensor and the shield slid upwards. What lay before them was the sweetest thing any of them had ever witnessed. Bahzee and Teshunua, much to their relief, were fully clothed—coats, boots, and all. They had pushed the beds flush to one another, as to be close. As the snuggled couple lay snoring, the nosy four at the door could do naught but smile.

Zynathian was in mind to run through Teshunua’s bag and find the camera to capture this moment. However, the loud rumble of an approaching vehicle from outside made him think better of it. Whatever it was had a very bad exhaust, and it backfired, making it sound as if a bomb had gone off outside. The noise made the sleeping couple stir, and the others let down the shield and ran for their lives. They howled in laughter once they were far enough away from the bedroom.

They were still chuckling when Jix flew through the doors with Belch following closely behind him.

“What the hell is all this? If there is as much trouble as that letter led me to believe, then you all had better get gone!” Belch said, looking to Zynathian. “How are things, mate?”

“Better than they were two weeks ago. I’ve missed you.”

“That’s because you haven’t come to the restaurant the last couple of times you’ve been down! Why is that?” Belch asked with a hint of resentment. “You better tell me it’s because you’ve been so wrapped up with your new love that you haven’t had time-that’s the only acceptable excuse!”

“That’s it,” Zynathian said.

Belch pulled him to the side. “What happened?”

Zynathian gave a quick summary of the recent events, and explained why he needed him. Belch was fuming when he learned that his suspicions about Phyllamon were correct. Lately, it seemed that all that was wrong in the world could be related to Phyllamon.

“Dammit to hell! I’d like to split the son of a bitch open with my pinkie!”

“Calm yourself, friend.”

Belch relaxed. “So how will I contact you when the refugees are here? A month ago, Mawg said the satellite took a beating from the bad weather.”

“That’s what the Mechs are out there working on now. This new one is able to withstand a close-range explosion, so don’t worry.”

“And the other Mechs?”

“Expanding this place, as it’s quite unfit for so many people at the moment. I figured it would be better to start them outside than indoors, waking everyone earlier than necessary…what’s in the box you’re holding?”

“It’s for that little person right there!” Belch said smiling, looking past Zynathian at Lyn Sha.

She came forward yawning with toothpaste at the corners of her mouth.

“Hey, Belch,” Lyn kissed his green cheek, leaving an outline of toothpaste.

“Hey, hon,” Belch said, returning the kiss. “Did the racket wake you?”

She nodded, looking down at the box. “What’s in there?”

“Happy birthday!” Belch said, handing her the box.

“You remembered! Life has been so crazy lately that everyone else forgot!” Lyn gave Asha an evil glare.

Asha’s horrific expression was that of one who knew themselves to be unmistakably guilty. “I’m so sorry, Lynnie. I promise I’ll make it up to you,” Asha said.

“‘The Magnificently Brilliant, Green-eyed Queen of the Library’ accepts your apology,” Lyn said mercifully kissing Asha on the mouth. Asha smiled, and Lyn Sha turned to Sing.

“Sing Tzi Yi, since you just became my sister yesterday, you’re off the hook this time,” she said sternly. “But you better remember next year!”

“I promise. Happy belated birthday,” Sing replied blowing her a kiss. “Let’s see what’s in the box!”

“Something really heavy. I hope it’s what I think it is!” Lyn said, smiling at Belch, running to the kitchen table. “It is! Hooray!” she cheered as she took a knife and cut herself a huge hunk of chocolate cake.

“No, Lyn, you’re going to spoil your breakfast!” Asha yelled.

“I don’t care, it’s my birthday,” she said, proceeding to make her face a sticky mess.

Zynathian was pleased. “Thanks, Belch. I think she really needed that.”

Belch replied with a toothy grin. “I never forget any of the kid’s birthdays. It just happens to be a rarity that they celebrate them down here, so I had to take advantage after learning that they had come down.”

“Lynnie…no!” Asha said.

“It’s okay, Asha. She’ll work it off later today, believe me.” Zynathian smirked.

“You keep hinting at
that!
But I don’t know what
that
is yet, so if you’re not going to tell me, would you please quit teasing me, Zynnie! You’re driving me nuts!”

“Yes, you seemed to skip over something while we were talking. Khyeryn and Lyn Sha…what did you do to them?” Belch asked, dragging Zynathian away from eavesdroppers.

Zynathian leaned down and whispered in his ear.

“Aaaaah, very interesting. You don’t mind me tagging along do you? I should like to see that.”

Zynathian nodded then looked to Sing and Asha. “Wake the others, it’s time to go.”

3

The day was still and bitterly cold. Except for Maugrimm, all felt relieved to be leaving the frigid conditions for awhile. Upon exiting the Igloo, they were greeted by one of Zynathian’s Mechanicals.

“My magnificent, brilliant master of all creation and knowledge, Doctor Volkeye,”
a four-foot tall, frost-covered person said, addressing Zynathian in a monotone voice.

Asha rolled her eyes. “You ego-maniacal old fart, did you teach him that?” She was embarrassed at his arrogance in front of their newest family member. Sing, indeed, was quite amused by it.

“Yes, I did that this morning…just goofing off a bit.” He shrugged, apologizing.

“The satellite has been completed to your exact standards, Sir,” the Mechanical said, motioning to a massive concave structure on the roof of the Igloo.

Twenty other Mechs of the same model with varying colours stood surrounding the new satellite. Dozens more were off in different spots, hammering, nailing, and sealing large blocks of debris and a strange metal substance together—the beginnings of the Igloo’s massive expansion.

“Excellent job, Fritz. We’re on our way out, so you have my permission to begin indoors now. In addition to my orders, Belch, here, may need some type of assistance. Whether it be here or his restaurant, I want you to heed his orders,” Zynathian said.

“With pleasure, Sir,” Fritz responded, looking to Belch. “While inside, I took the liberty of examining your pod there.” He pointed to the vessel (a very small version of Phyllamon’s that had recently exploded). “…It’s on its last breath, sir. I can repair it if you like.”

“Yes please,” said Zynathian, rolling his eyes at Belch. Belch was so proud that he never liked to ask anyone for help.

“If the weather stays calm like this, Sir, the project should be complete in seven to fourteen days,” Fritz explained, joining the other Mechs about their business.

“How many times have I told you to let me fix that thing? …Or at least allow me to get you a new one? What if it were to die while you were in the middle of nowhere, Belch?”

“We
are
in the middle of nowhere!”

“And that makes you an even bigger buffoon! I’m building you a new one and that’s final! In the meantime we’ll leave Teshunua’s vessel here for you to use!”

“Fine,” Belch snapped, but he was unable to hold back a smile.

Zynathian gave him a slap on the shoulder. “There he is,” he said, speaking of a large egg shaped craft slowly coming from behind the Igloo.

The main body of the vessel was blacker than a starless night, but the separate, oval compartments on its sides and roof, of which there were several, were bright, shiny silver. Teshunua was piloting at the moment, and Bahzee stood behind him, hands rubbing his shoulders. They were all smiles.

“Look at the grins on them two!” Maugrimm laughed, observing them through the windshield. “Guess they had a good night’s sleep!”

“Oh, hush.” Asha blushed, being quite happy for her daughter.

Teshunua brought the ship to a halt, hovering. The entrance shield slid upwards, and a stairway slowly protruded from within, fixing itself firmly in the snow. Toodles hopped down from Asha’s arms and quickly made his way up the steps. Jix followed, along with the rest of them. Maugrimm stayed behind a moment to bid his precious Igloo a farewell.

Watching the Mechs carry equipment back and forth, speaking in technical dialogue that he didn’t comprehend, Maugrimm let out a deep sigh and slung a heavy square backpack over his shoulder, making his way onto the ship. Everyone was sitting, ready for departure. Zynathian had taken the pilot’s seat.