The Gift of Volkeye (18 page)

“Quiet, fools, before you rouse Maugrimm! One more word, and I swear you won’t nibble on a thing until he wakes!” Asha snapped irritably.

Sing’s mouth hung open. “Those are
not
talking plants, no way! Where are they?”

“I tucked them behind the counter and threw a towel over them, hoping that they wouldn’t smell the food. I should have known better.” Asha sighed. She went to the kitchen and uncovered them, rolling out the table they rested on.

“It’s about time! Geez, were you all
not
gonna’ share? It’s not like you need all that food…and, Asha, I’m speaking to you mostly, as you do look a bit heavier than you did the last time I saw you!”

“Watch it, smart ass!” Asha said to the plant in the center.

His eyes were a large sandy brown, and he had a torso like that of a man except for the fact that his arms and legs were vines. He had pink skin, and there were green vines attached to his head and armpits. He was the most intelligent of the four plants and also the most vocal—the wise cracker of the group. The other plants snickered at his comments.

Sing was awestruck at what she was seeing. Although she knew that strange creatures were not limited to Castle Xyecah, seeing them away from there was a new and exciting experience. And what was most astonishing was that these weren’t mean, snarling, or trying to kill anything!

“What’s your name?” she asked the plant in the middle.

“Khyetarah Vyx Mune, baby, and don’t you forget it!”

“Watch it, Sing, he’s a flirt!” Bahzee said.

“Khyetarah Vyx Mune…that’s beautiful.”

“Yes, but my beauty doesn’t stop at my name...just check out this face! You don’t get prettier than this, wouldn’t you agree!”

In utter disbelief at his arrogance, Sing flushed red and raised her hand to her mouth. “You’re absolutely
dashing!”
she said, sniggering.

“This is oh so true! I wish everyone could be as honest as you! While you’re on a roll, why not just be completely real about your feelings for me! I know you want me…don’t fight it, baby.”

It was at this that Sing bellowed a howl of laughter. Khyetarah continued as if nothing had occurred.

“…I think you and I could make beautiful children together. Granted that I am the
real
beauty
between the two of us, their good looks will be due mostly to my genes. That’s all right, I forgive you for being human. After all, nobody but me is perfect.”

Asha and Bahzee were speechless, unable to believe Khyetarah’s vanity. Sing couldn’t help but egg him on.

“And how would you get me to have your children? Would you not romance me first and eventually marry me? I expect a lot from my man, you know!”

“Of course, love…I can offer whatever you need. I always provide for my women.
If you must know,
PIMP
is my middle name!”

The girls broke up, roaring with laughter at this. It wasn’t until an angry growl echoed into the room that they stopped. Sing looked around for the source.

“What da’ ruddy hell is all this blasted racket?” said a massive creature whilst trudging down the hallway.

He encompassed the entire space, knocking little pieces of ice off the walls and ceiling as he bowed his way into the room. Maugrimm was ten feet, six thousand pounds of flesh and muscle. All but one was completely unimpressed with his entrance. Sing’s mouth hung open in disbelief, never having seen anything like him. Maugrimm looked upon her, grinning.

“Methinks the words you’re lookin’ for are,
‘Hello, me name is so and so. What’s yours?’
” he said chuckling.

She was so taken aback by this imposingly beautiful creature. Maugrimm’s torso was pale with numerous, thick red veins, visible through the skin, whereas the rest of him was green and scaly with blood-red patches of fur standing sporadically about. His feet were webbed, and there were large tannish-brown spikes that grew from his shoulders, spine, and the back of his head. Maugrimm’s face, which was punctuated with long, leathery-looking whiskers in the beard area, consisted mostly of his eyes—very large and ocean blue with immensely long lashes.

“I’m Sing,” she said, finding her voice at last. She removed her gloves and tentatively reached out. “Do you mind?”

Maugrimm shook his head.

Sing gently rubbed her hand on Maugrimm’s belly and found that he was soft and very warm, despite the cold temperature. She then went around his back and gently ran the tips of her fingers up and down his scales, which were surprisingly smooth, much more so than the tufts of red hair. The hair may have had a fluffy appearance, but to Sing it felt rough as sand paper. Then there were the horns. Sing gently grabbed hold of one, but…

“Hey, quit it…that tickles!”

Shocked, Maugrimm had jumped and hit his head on the ceiling, causing mild ice breakage as his horns stabbed into the surface. Upon landing, their section of the Igloo quaked slightly with spoons and forks falling off the table nearby. Then came the sound of ice and snow plummeting from the roof outdoors.

Maugrimm’s reaction had shocked Sing, and she fell to the floor. He’d landed on his butt, next to her. The racket had woken Toodles, and Maugrimm grinned as the cat leapt into Sing’s lap.

She cringed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, dear…don’t get your panties in a bundle over it! Ya’ just hit one of me spots, is all!”

Glad that he wasn’t angry, Sing questioned further. “So…what exactly…are you?” she asked, looking to the others, wondering if her question was offensive. They all smiled, as if they too had asked him the exact same thing once upon a time.

“Hah! There ain’t a blasted clue under heaven! Me parents musta’ died when me was just a lil bloke, cuz’ me gots no memory of them. Never met anybody else like me…ain’t got no relatives, methinks,” he said scratching his head. “…But me should find a wife soon, if me’s ever gonna’ have any offspring and invent a whole new race.”

The girls all rolled their eyes. Seeing that Maugrimm was in good humour, Sing teased him.

“Maugrimm, I can tell you’re a nice person...er, um,
beast
...but that can only go so far. A woman would have to be borderline crazy to sleep with you. You’re too big…you might kill her, you fool!”

“Excuse me, missy, but me will have you know that there are plenty o’ women around here that are ready and willing to get all three tons o’ this hot lovin’!”

“Not that again, Maugrimm! Having a relapse, are we? I thought you’d learned your lesson!” Asha yelled, rebuking him.

“No, no relapses. Me just remembering the ole’ days, is all!” Maugrimm said, grinning as he recalled being taught a very harsh lesson about dealing with more than one woman simultaneously.

3

Asha and Bahzee had been in Rhameeryla for several months. By now, Khyeryn and Lyn Sha had gotten to know them extremely well, for they were frequent visitors to the secret town. Zynathian, on the other hand, hadn’t met them yet, for no one in Rhameeryla had seen him in nigh on seven months! He was busy in his lab perfecting a painkiller that he’d been working on for nearly two decades. It was an incredibly difficult project, which involved a complete transformation of Khyetarah Vyx Mune’s blood.

Now that the blood sample was ready and could kill pain in any wound indefinitely, Zynathian had spent the last seven months documenting the magnificent results of his work. He also took this time to copy the transformed blood many hundreds of thousands of times over, for it was such a slow process that he was unwilling to repeat the endeavor and wanted a lifetime supply. This unnamed miracle drug was Zynathian’s greatest accomplishment in decades, and he couldn’t possibly allow the finishing touches of this project to be disturbed—hence his vehement self-denial of breaks from his work to visit friends.

The kids wanted to do something special for Zynathian’s fifty-first birthday. Knowing he was upset about being unable to visit Rhameeryla because of the work he’d been swamped with for the last half year, they thought to bring some of Rhameeryla to him. Yes, Bahzee would be an excellent gift! Not only had he not met this new addition to their lives, but Khyeryn and Lyn Sha knew Zynathian would be longing for a different project soon, now that he’d completed a near twenty year project.

However, before bringing Bahzee to meet Zynathian, they thought to introduce she and Asha to Maugrimm, another integral being in their lives. In several days time, they would set off to the skies, leaving Asha behind. This was necessary, for not only was Bahzee meant to be a surprise for Zynathian, but her operation was simultaneously a gift to Bahzee and her mother as well. Khyeryn, Teshunua, and Lyn Sha had gone to incredible lengths to say as little as possible, despite Asha’s constant badgering. She now lagged behind, complaining as they made their way through a long, icy tunnel.

“I don’t understand why you must be gone for nearly a month to the home of a man that I’ve never met!”

Bahzee rolled her eyes. “Mom, I’ll be fine! It’s a perfectly safe trip, and I’m sure this Zynathian is harmless! I think Khye and Lyn would know if their father was an axe murderer!”

“If it’s so safe then why can’t I come?”

Khyeryn looked back and winked at her. “You can come next time, Asha, we promise! This time we have some top secret matters to attend!”

Bahzee smirked, extremely curious about what they had in store for her…something incredibly fun no doubt! She was eager to try out those
cloud pistols
Lyn Sha had mentioned! Bahzee excitedly squirmed in her chair, hovering behind the others.

“It wouldn’t be so awful if I could hear from you everyday, Baz, but let us not forget that Rhameeryla has no manner of contact!”

“We already worked that out, Asha. We’ll send a letter with Jix every three days, so that way you get to hear from us at least twice a week.” Teshunua gave a charming smile, attempting to warm Asha to the idea. “Don’t worry so much.”

“Bah!
DON’T WORRY?
Yeah, that’s a really easy one, Tesh, considering the fact that I haven’t let her out of my sight for over thirteen damn years!”

“Mom, everything’s going to be okay!”

“Yeah,
‘Lyn Sha, the Magnificently Brilliant, Green-Eyed Queen of the Library,’
commands you to stop worrying!”

Asha crossed her arms indignantly, as she walked.

Teshunua, however, was all smiles as he stood on back of Bahzee’s hoverchair, playing in her hair as he rode along. She reached up as much as her best arm would allow and lightly swatted his hands, giggling. Though Tesh had the urge to lean over and smother her with kisses, he thought better of it, knowing Asha probably would have flogged him silly, being as protective of her as she was. Yes, he would have to give it some time…maybe another year or so?

Hopefully then I’ll have enough of a sack to tell her how I feel!
Teshunua thought, chastising himself.

Maugrimm looked back at Asha, addressing her mood. “Oi! Straighten that face up, lady! Me takin’ ya’ out to meet one o’ me pals and have a good time…not so ya’ can walk around with a gloomy mug!”

Asha forced a tiny smile but kept her distance. Despite the fact that the kids swore he was the nicest creature in the world, Mawg was still a stranger to her, and his size was intimidating.

In opinions on Maugrimm, Bahzee was opposite her mother. She thought of him as nothing more than an overgrown teddy bear and took an instant liking to him. Therefore she was totally comfortable with making small talk or asking him questions. “What kinda’ restaurant is this, Mawg? …I mean the food!” she yelled forward.

Maugrimm chuckled. “Belch has a lil’ something for everybody, he does! Take care to let him know that ya’ want HUMAN food though!”

Belch held a plush-looking operation. The cave’s walls were decorated with carvings of characters from his favourite Wrinklegus PoisonTongue stories, and the bar was made of finely sculpted rock. The chairs and tables in the dining section, however, were wood-made (for purposes of ease when rearranging). The corners of the cave housed large black cauldrons (not unlike those of Maugrimm’s Igloo) that contained roaring fires, lending a comforting effect to the beautifully dim atmosphere. In all, the restaurant was a stunning sight.

Belch—the owner, waiter, and host at the restaurant—would often help out in the kitchen on days when it got incredibly busy. He was a wonderful cook. Though savvy in the kitchen and a great host, Belch had a dark side. He was most adept at carving his enemies to pieces when provoked. His claws were the weapons of choice. Belch’s hands were nearly skeletal with extra long nails, hard enough that he was able to put the edges to grinders and make dangerously keen blades of his fingers! Even though he mostly put the blades to use in the kitchen when cutting meat, on some occasions Belch found them useful for other applications.

Fifteen years previous, the owner of this restaurant was prone to serving substandard food, because it saved him money. He tried to give an odourous plate to Belch, but Belch instantly turned his nose up at the sour food and sent it back. Unable to believe the owner’s gall, he ordered again and specifically asked for something freshly cooked. When the owner refused and asked him to leave, Belch leapt upon him and spilled all his blood.