Authors: Felicia Donovan
Giselle considered the name. “I do remember a Pierre Marceau in my class at one point.”
“I think that is her cousin!”
“He was very handsome. We went to many dances together.”
“You… you went with a boy?” Anais asked.
“Of course. I think he is married now.”
Anais considered this for several seconds before adding, “I do not know how I would have survived Sister Frances without Aimee. She is brilliant. Well, perhaps a little naughty, but they take themselves so seriously and she does not.”
“No one should take themselves so seriously,” Giselle agreed.
“Perhaps what you’re interpreting as being serious is actually being devout,” Jean offered, causing Anais to frown.
“Either way, they are no fun and Aimee makes it fun. Did I tell you about the time we snuck out late at night and caught a bunch of crickets?”
Giselle smiled. “No, you did not.”
“Sister Frances insists that all prayer time be silent. The only sound she will tolerate is the clicking of the rosaries, so one day, when we were headed over for morning Mass, Aimee took the paper bag filled with the crickets and dropped it unnoticed on a pew as she passed by. She made sure the mouth of the bag was wide open. You should have heard the squeals and screams of all the girls once the crickets started to make their escape. Of course, Sister Frances immediately blamed Aimee and made her get on her knees for three days and catch each one. I helped her. We never did confess, but I do not see the point of confessing if God knows everything.”
Giselle threw back her head and laughed at the story. Jean tilted her head and did not react, but I could tell that she was thankful that this Aimee Marceau was not one of her students.
“My only regret is that she will have the baby in a month and then return to her regular school, but we have promised to stay in touch even if she is a grade ahead of me.”
“What happens to the babies?” I asked Anais. She was just about to eat a big spoonful of Giselle’s ice cream when she paused, her hand at her mouth and lowered it for a second before responding.
“The babies are given to the Church to be adopted by good families who can give them what they deserve.”
I knew very little about having babies, but I could not imagine handing a baby over to someone else.
“Do they ever get to see the babies after that?” I asked.
Anais shoved the spoon in her mouth. “
Non
,” she said. “It is God’s will that they go to good Catholic families who can raise them as they should be raised.”
Giselle began to say something, but clenched her mouth tightly and sipped at her wine.
“This ice cream is very good,” Anais said. “What flavor is it?”
“Apple pie. I had some leftover pie and mixed it in.”
“It is very good. Better than
Le Gateau’s
,” Anais said and I watched as Giselle glanced up sharply at her. For several seconds, they stared at each other until Anais finally turned her head away and shoved another spoonful in her mouth.
***
I waited until Anais had gone back upstairs to use the bathroom before going to Giselle and throwing my arms around her.
“Thank you so much, Giselle, for my wonderful birthday surprises.”
“You are welcome,
Cherie
, but much of this was Jean’s idea.”
“Thank you, Jean,” I said as I went over and hugged her tall frame. As I was hugging Jean, I glanced up and saw Anais watching us from the top of the stairs. Jean saw her too, and quickly pulled away and began gathering the dirty dishes.
Later on, Giselle tucked both Anais and I into my small bed.
“Another few months and I do not think you would fit,” she teased Anais.
“Another few months and I hope to be able to fit into anything again.”
“Is that when you will have the baby, Anais?” I asked.
“
Oui
.”
“Get some rest, Girls.
Bonne nuit, Cherie
,” Giselle said as she hugged me and kissed me on both cheeks. “Good night, Anais.”
“She is nice,” Anais said as soon as Giselle walked out, “but I do not trust the tall one.”
“Jean is very nice, too. We are all family.”
“They are not your family, Etoile.”
“But they take care of me like family. Better than…” I began to say but stopped. I saw her studying me, but she said nothing.
“Anais?”
“
Oui
?”
“Are you still in trouble with the police?”
Anais laid on her back, her large belly protruding from underneath the sheets, and looked at the picture of Josette Simone on my dresser.
“Not anymore. Not since…”
“Not since what?”
“Not since they figured out what really happened that day.”
I turned on my side and looked at her.
“What happened that day, Anais? I would like to know.”
Anais rolled over on her side and snugged her back against mine. “I am too tired to talk right now,” she said. “Perhaps another time.”
“But Anais!” I protested. Her breathing quickly grew very deep and I knew she was asleep.
It was some time before I fell asleep. I lay quietly watching Anais’ chest rise and fall with each breath. Her long brown hair cascaded across the pillow just like Maman’s. It felt strange for her to be there and I felt a momentary twang of guilt over the fact that we had both changed so much, as if our lives had, in just a short few months, grown very separate.
I listened to the sounds of the peepers in the vernal pond that emptied at the end of the small stream, and the crickets calling for each other. A light breeze drifted through the open window and in the moonlight, I watched the soft tendrils of Anais’s hair flutter against it.
I woke up the next morning to find Anais gone from my bed. Panicked, I threw on my slippers and ran down the stairs. Surely she would not have left without saying goodbye. I got to the bottom of the stairs and was relieved to hear soft voices coming from the kitchen. I almost barged in, but as I got closer, I saw Anais and Giselle seated across from each other and stopped. Their hands were both clasped tightly around their coffee cups, their heads lowered, almost as if in prayer, so I stopped and waited. I crept closer to the entrance of the kitchen and listened.
***
“She kept her stash of money under the mattress,” Anais said. “I found it one day and realized that is how she always had money for her wine. Madame Duvais would not sell it to her anymore but there were others who would, and Maman knew exactly who to ask and how to get them to buy it for her.”
“I had split from school early that day. What was the point? I did not care about what they were teaching me anyway. She was lying alone in her bed when I got there, breathing very deeply. I nudged her several times to make sure she would not wake up. When she did not stir, I reached under the mattress and grabbed as much of it as I could because we had no food.”
“She had caught me stealing from her before, but then again, she knew I knew how she got the money in the first place. She was still sound asleep when I grabbed the money, but when I turned, he was standing there in the doorway, just looking at me. I did not even realize he was in the apartment.”
Anais paused and rubbed the back of her hand on her face. Giselle leaned forward and touched her arm. Anais did not pull back.
“I could see in his eyes what his intentions were as he narrowed them on me. Oh, those eyes… Eyes that are empty and full at the same time…”
“I remember,” Giselle said quietly.
“He squinted them and said, “Do you always steal from your mother?” I did not know what to say. Then he gestured to the door and said, “Where is your room?”
Giselle shut her eyes and bit her lower lip.
“It happened very quickly. He got up afterwards and went to go out through the back door of the kitchen, but she was sitting there, smoking her cigarette and clutching a glass of wine. She saw me fumble at the buttons on my blouse and her eyes grew very wide. They would go almost black when she got upset. She looked at both of us for several minutes before things began to register. She kept looking from me to him and then her hands began to shake terribly. I tried to step away from her, but she knocked the glass over and lunged towards me, wrapping her hands around my throat. Even though she was shaky, she was still very strong. I waited for him to do something, but he did not. I tried to get her arms unclasped, but she was strong with rage and just kept squeezing.”
Giselle took Anais’ hand in hers and held it for a moment. Giselle looked as if she was about to cry.
“Finally, I saw him step behind her and he was able to pry her hands off of my throat. I suppose, for that one small gesture, I should be grateful. As soon as I was clear of her hands on my throat, I stepped back, hoping to make it to the back door. The kitchen window was open as it often was. My hands were shaking as I tried to get the door open but the latch had broken months ago and was very difficult to undo. I glanced over my shoulder because I thought he was holding her, but he had let her go. She came running towards me. I stepped towards the window thinking she would keep going towards the door. Just before she reached me, I flattened my body up against the cabinets.”
“Perhaps her foot caught the leg of the table or perhaps she was just too off balance, but I saw her, almost in slow motion, as she began to stumble forward. The distance between her and the window narrowed and I watched the look on her face as she passed inches from me, the blackness of her eyes, the hatred in them. I did not reach for her. She was still running forward, stumbling. I do not think she ever even realized what was happening until she was actually out the window.”
“We stood in the kitchen, he and I, waiting for a sound, but there was none. No scream, no cry, no loud thump as she hit the ground. It was silent. Everything had grown very silent. We looked at each other and he put his finger to his lips and came towards me again. I backed as far away and he seemed to realize this was big trouble, so he made me swear not to tell anyone and left by the front door. I sat down at the table and smoked a cigarette. Monsieur Dumont found her in the alley minutes later.”
Anais stopped and Giselle leaned forward and touched Anais’ hair.
“At first, they did not believe me. They suggested all kinds of things and for three days, made me repeat the story over and over. He was well known in town. He gave to their charities. They had no reason to doubt his word, but every reason to doubt mine when they found out I had been with others. I did what I had to do for me and for Etoile. Finally, enough people came forward to say they remembered the Closed sign on the window because it was so unusual. Then, they came back to the apartment and took away my bedclothes. They said they would run some tests and finally confronted him.
But it was Madame Duvais who told the police that she specifically remembered going to his shop to get more bread and finding him in it, scrubbing his hands and acting very nervous. He tried to burn his clothes in the brick oven, but they found them too and got to them before he could. Otherwise, I would be in jail.”
“I am so sorry, Anais,” Giselle finally said. “He should have been stopped years ago. I tried to tell them too, but my mother refused to believe me.”
“I figured that when I saw the painting. You would not have left
Le Gateau
out unless there was a reason.”
“I could not bear to give permanence to something so vile.”
“He is the one in jail now.”
“Thank God for that.”
“Many have come forward since. He will be there for a long time.”
Giselle nodded. “You were very brave, Anais.”
Anais put her head down and her shoulders began to shake. Giselle pulled her close and nuzzled her head in her hair.
“It is all right,
Cherie
,” she said. “It is all over now.”
***
I thought of Monsieur Segal and all of his questions and how strongly Giselle had reacted when I had first mentioned his name. Then, I remembered racing from the school to the apartment building that day and there being a closed sign on his shop and how for just a second, it crossed my mind that I had never seen
Le Gateau
closed in the middle of the day.
I stood there motionless, trying to take it all in. It felt like the times when the wind blew so strong that it knocked the power out and we would all suddenly be aware of how very quiet the house was. It was the absence, not the presence of something that sharpened everything, yet of what I did not know.
I retreated back upstairs to my room and climbed back in my bed. I waited until Giselle came up and shook me, calling “Wake up Sleepy Head,” because I did not ever want her to know that I knew.
Anais’ eyes looked puffy and she quickly looked away from me.
“We will have a good breakfast then we must drop Anais back at the train station.”
“May I come?”
“Of course.”
Giselle let me have Cap’N Crunch cereal while she made Anais a large egg omelet. Anais finished off the eggs, the toast, the ham and drank all the orange juice.
The train station was about an hour away. We arrived a few minutes before the train and sat in the waiting room with Anais, who carried a small bag with her.
“Jean was sorry she could not come to say goodbye, but she has classes this morning. She asked me to wish you good luck.”
“Thank you.”
“You must let us know everything going on and keep us posted on Sister Frances.”
“It will not be the same without Aimee,” Anais said, “but she swears she will not go without a bang.”
Giselle laughed. “Then we will most certainly look forward to hearing everything.”
Anais slid her bag off her shoulder and said, “I almost forgot.” She unzipped the top and took out a small, flat box wrapped in yellow paper with bright orange flowers on it and handed it to me. “Happy Birthday, Etoile.” I took the box from her and opened it up. Inside was a very old silver picture frame just the right size to fit the picture of Josette Simone.
“Thank you, Anais, but how did you know?”
“Giselle gave me the idea,” Anais explained.
“It will fit perfectly, I’m sure.” I hugged Anais just as the train was called.
Anais stopped and faced Giselle, who touched her hair and said, “
Soin de prise de vous-même
. Take care of yourself,
Cherie
. If you need anything, all you have to do is ask.”
“
Merci
.”
Giselle pulled Anais towards her and kissed her lightly on both cheeks. We watched her walk very slowly towards the train, never looking back. Giselle slipped her arm around my shoulder and I knew it would be a long time before I saw my sister again.