A square of white cloth appeared in his line of sight. Kellan was handing him a neatly folded handkerchief. Corey took it with grateful thanks. He blotted his sweat covered face and neck, saturating the fabric. What the fuck had he done when his memory had returned with such force?
“Where is everyone?” he asked, noting that only Kellan and Jonah were in the room with him.
“They’re waiting in my office for us to give the all clear,” Kellan answered.
Corey scraped his thumbnail over the embroidered monogram on a corner of the handkerchief.
JC
in a thick, bold font. “Did I hurt someone?” It hurt to ask that question.
“No. Why would you think that?” Kellan replied. His tone sounded genuinely puzzled.
“The two of you are walking on eggshells around me and everyone else is hiding out in your office.” Was it strange that Corey wondered why Kellan was carrying a handkerchief bearing Jonah’s monogram?
“No one’s afraid of you, Corey. We’re concerned.” Kellan gestured between himself and Jonah. “We’re here because none of the others have seen combat. They can only guess at the things we’ve seen and done, and how it all makes us feel.”
Jonah dragged a chair closer and sat down. Corey noticed he had been careful not to get between Corey and the open door. He wanted to ask what he’d said and done when during his flashback, but he feared the answer. Corey continued to thumb Jonah’s initials.
“When DADT was repealed, we stopped worrying about keeping the small things separate,” Kellan said.
Corey looked up in confusion.
Kellan gestured at the handkerchief in Corey’s hands. “It stopped mattering if Jonah showed up with something bearing my initials, and eventually a lot of things just ended up mixed together.”
Corey wondered what it might be like to have Sean’s possessions mixed in with his own. The idea sent warmth spreading through his chest. Thinking of Sean made Corey ashamed that he was avoiding the truth.
“So, what did I say and do during the flashback?” Corey blurted.
“Well…” Kellan spoke slowly, ask if carefully selecting his words. “You knocked over your chair standing up, which is what alerted Jonah and me to the fact something was going on. After that, you didn’t do much more than put your back to the wall and crouch down. As for what you said…well…what is it you remembered?”
Corey took a ragged breath and clutched the handkerchief in his fist. He tried to speak but his mouth had turned dry as dust. “I need some more water.” Before Corey could stand, Jonah was out of his own chair and across the room. Jonah handed him an open bottle. Corey took it gratefully. “Thank you, Jonah.”
Jonah’s hand rested briefly on Corey’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze before he returned to his chair. As Corey drank, he remembered when even the most casual touch from Jonah made his heart race. This time was different. Now, all Corey felt was what Jonah had intended; comfort, reassurance and support.
He forced himself to meet Kellan’s eyes. To his relief, Corey didn’t see the expected pity. Instead, Kellan’s expression was intense and interested, possibly even eager.
“When Nygaard didn’t report in that the perimeter was secure and I couldn’t raise him on comms, I went looking for him.” Corey swallowed hard. “I went alone, Kellan. I deviated from the SOP and didn’t take another Marine, almost like I knew I was going to find something bad and didn’t want anyone else to have to deal with it.”
“I doubt that’s the case, Corey.” Kellan shook his head and frowned. “You were only expecting to step a few feet away from the structure in order to locate one of your Marines. That’s not a blatant deviation from standard operating procedure.”
Corey dragged the back of one hand across his forehead. “I guess it doesn’t matter now. I saw two of my men exit a structure directly behind the one we had secured. Their behavior was suspicious so I entered the residence.” He exhaled a shaky breath. “Kellan, they put the women and children on their knees, circled up in family groups. They made them all watch as they slit their throats, one by one.” Corey nearly sobbed the last word, but as soon as he said it out loud, his entire body felt lighter.
Kellan sat back in his chair and ran one hand over his mouth and chin. His features hardened and Corey realized he was angry. Surprisingly, Corey didn’t think Kellan was mad at him.
“What reasons did they give for their actions?” Kellan asked tightly. Corey suspected he already knew the answer and was just waiting for confirmation.
“Nygaard claimed they were trying to force them to give up the locations of weapons caches and plans for additional ambushes,” Corey answered, breathing easier than he had since he’d returned from Afghanistan. “It was bullshit. All of it,” he continued bitterly. “They enjoyed scaring and torturing those poor people. They did it for fun.”
Kellan nodded and sat forward again. “You reported all of this to Lieutenant Adams, correct?”
“Yes, sir.” Corey paused as the implication of that question sank in. “The lieutenant covered up what Nygaard and his team did because he had to hide his own crime. An inquiry into one incident might have uncovered the other.”
“The evidence supports that supposition, yes,” Kellan said as he stood. “It doesn’t stop with the lieutenant, though. We need to record a brief statement from you, while your recall is fresh. We’ll save the deposition for another day.”
“Yes, sir.” Corey finished his water as Kellan left the conference room. He looked over at Jonah and found him lost in thought. “Can I ask you something, Jonah?”
Jonah met Corey’s eyes easily. “Of course.”
“Does my old platoon believe I helped cover up what Nygaard did?” Corey thought Tyler would have told him if that was the case, but he needed to hear it from Jonah.
“From what we’ve gathered from search warrants and wire taps, no one involved in the white car incident thinks you know anything at all,” Jonah replied. He stood and began to pace. “The only people who know about the incident inside the structure are the five who were involved, Lieutenant Adams, and Battalion command.”
“Command?” Corey asked, incredulous.
“They assisted the lieutenant in his cover up, which is why no one made sure you received counseling for a traumatic experience.” Jonah’s reply was harsh. “Nygaard and his team mistakenly believe Adams ordered you to keep silent, and then you were bribed into silence with a promotion and transfer to BRC.”
“Fuck!” Corey snapped. He’d earned his promotion and transfer. If telling the truth about Nygaard meant he had to give them both up, he would, without a second thought.
Jonah made a dismissive gesture. “No one cares what those assholes think. They’re going to do time and be dishonorably discharged. Everyone else involved knows you suffered memory loss. They just don’t know that command is using your memory loss to hide criminal behavior.”
Before Corey could respond, Kellan returned with the rest of the investigative team. Corey stood and finished straightening his uniform. He was going to give his statement and call Sean. Now that he had his memory back, all Corey wanted to do was forget.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
When Captain Hirata declared Corey’s statement complete, Agent Hoffman shut off the video camera. Corey’s limbs felt leaden when he stood and started to pull on his uniform coat. He was exhausted. He wanted out of this building so he could call Sean.
“What’s the name of the counselor you’re seeing?”
Corey glanced up in surprise to find Jonah standing beside him, pen and notepad in hand. “Why?” he demanded suspiciously.
“Unlike the way you were treated after your previous traumatic experience,
I
am going to ensure you receive the assistance you require,” Jonah replied with complete aplomb.
Corey shook his head emphatically. “I’m fine—”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you think this was optional?” Jonah asked dryly.
Corey nearly laughed before he realized Jonah was serious. “You’re pulling rank? Are you kidding me?”
“Your emotional health is important to the investigation,” replied Jonah. “I’m not taking any chances.”
Corey should have known. He fastened the belt of his coat and tugged his cuffs straight. “All I need are my meds and some sleep. I’ll be fine.”
Kellan’s soothing voice broke in. “What Jonah doesn’t seem capable of communicating is, if you’d watched one of us go through what we just watched you endure, you’d be reacting just like he is.”
Corey hadn’t considered that. “Dr. Ingram.” He watched as Jonah scrawled the name. “I have an appointment the day after tomorrow.”
Jonah didn’t reply, he just crossed to telephone on the table against the wall. “Yes, ma’am, can you connect me to the base medical clinic? Thank you, ma’am.”
“What’s he doing?” Corey asked Kellan in alarm.
“Making sure you’re okay,” Kellan replied simply.
Jonah asked to be connected to Doctor Ingram’s office. He identified himself and asked to speak to the doctor regarding an emergency involving one of her patients. Corey could tell when Doctor Ingram began speaking to Jonah. “Good afternoon, ma’am. My name is First Sergeant Jonah Carver. I’m the Senior Enlisted Advisor for the Deputy Under Secretary of Defense for Strategy, Plans and Force Development…I need to speak with you regarding your patient, Staff Sergeant Corey Yarwood…I’m aware of that ma’am, I have no interest in obtaining any confidential information. I have information to provide to you…your patient suffered a severe flashback less than thirty minutes ago. He’s recovered all of his missing memories. It’s important that he meet with you as soon as possible, Doctor Ingram.”
Kellan snorted and shook his head at Jonah’s calm dialogue. “He even has to turn calling a doctor into a sit-rep.”
Corey recalled Sean’s annoyance with him for making the simplest things difficult. Maybe he’d begun to emulate Jonah more than he’d realized.
“Of course I won’t allow him to drive himself…thirty minutes is acceptable…thank you, Doctor.” Jonah hung up the handset. “Do you have your prescriptions with you?” he asked Corey as he turned.
“In my Jeep, Top,” Corey said with resignation.
“Do you want to drive him in his Jeep and I’ll follow?” Kellan asked.
Jonah nodded and gestured for Corey to precede them out of the conference room.
Corey always felt awkward when he sat in the passenger seat of his own Jeep. He knew it was futile to argue with Jonah so he just took the Xanax tablet. He rubbed his fingers over his forehead, wishing this day was over. Exhaustion was threatening to overwhelm him.
“Are you still seeing your new friend?” Jonah asked suddenly.
“Yeah.” It felt good to tell Jonah the truth.
“Is he available for you to stay with tonight?” Jonah kept his eyes on the road.
Corey sighed. “He usually is. I was about to call him when you insisted on dragging me to my counselor,” he said dubiously.
“Humor me, Corey,” Jonah said quietly. “If you really are fine, this should be a quick conversation.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Corey turned to regard Jonah with narrowed eyes. “Let me ask you this, though; if you were in my place, would you rather be with your counselor? Or with Kellan?”
“Oh, I assure you, I’d be wanting to crawl naked into Kellan’s arms and absolutely lose myself in him,” Jonah said, one corner of his mouth lifting in humor. “I understand that desire. But Kellan would be the first one to tell me that that would be avoidance, not coping.”
“Do you ever get tired of Kellan being so fucking smart?” It was the closest Corey could come to admitting Jonah was right.
Jonah chuckled. “I’m too busy being turned on by it.”
Doctor Ingram was waiting for them, the inner door to her office standing open. As soon as they walked into reception, she came out to greet Corey.
“Well, you don’t look any worse for wear,” she said softly, giving Corey a smile.
Inside her office, Corey began to remove his uniform coat. Doctor Ingram surprised him by offering a wooden coat hanger. “Thank you, ma’am,” Corey said, neatly hanging the olive-drab garment from the coat rack.
“You’re welcome, Corey,” she said brightly. “Those uniforms are entirely too nice for them to get rumpled.” She paused and looked at him askance. “Has Sean seen you in that uniform yet?”
“No, ma’am,” Corey answered as he sat on the love seat and picked up the throw pillow. “Not yet.”
“You should wear it for him. I’m sure he’d very much like to see you in it.” Ingram didn’t even try to suppress her smile.
Corey huffed an embarrassed laugh. His face warmed when he imagined Sean’s appreciative reaction to seeing him in his uniform. At least that’s how he hoped Sean would react.
“So, tell me about the circumstances leading up to this flashback,” the doctor said. “And then I want to discuss the memories you recovered.”
§ § §
When Corey and Doctor Ingram stepped out into reception, Jonah and Kellan both stood. They looked expectantly from Corey to the doctor.
“Everything is fine, gentlemen,” Doctor Ingram said. “Thank you for thinking to bring Corey to see me. Now, he shouldn’t be alone tonight. He’s going to call a friend he thinks he can stay with. Can I trust one or both of you to look after him if his friend can’t?”
Jonah held up Corey’s cell phone. “Sean has already been made aware of today’s events and he’s waiting for Corey to arrive. Kellan also placed a call to Master Sergeant Whitfield.”
“How the hell…” Corey broke off when he remembered Jonah relieving him of his cell phone as they entered Doctor Ingram’s office.
“I didn’t think Sean would have a problem looking after him,” the doctor said with a smile. “Take the sleep aid, Corey,” she admonished a final time. “That’s what I prescribed them for.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Corey said docilely, knowing Sean would demand the same thing.
They left the clinic and Kellan followed as Jonah drove Corey’s Jeep to the BEQ. Kellan waited in his car while Jonah helped Corey pack an overnight bag. He tossed his dopp kit and a uniform into his ruck and was ready to go.
“So, when are you going to move into a big boy house?” Jonah asked dryly.
Corey chuckled as he zipped his ruck. “I had all I could deal with when I got back this last time.” He locked the door to his room and followed Jonah to the elevator. “Lately, though, I been thinking it’s time to grow up.”