The Falling of Love (9 page)

Ian’s breathing matches Grace’s own jagged breaths. He pulls back and lunges forward, pushing himself all the way in, over and over, until they orgasm together.

They lie together in his bed covered by the white sheets and sweat. Her emotions confuse her. She wanted this, she loves him, but for some reason guilt consumes her. She feels like she was not good enough and too immature to do what they did. She shakes her head as if to shake out the shame.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asks, softly as he caresses her arm with the tips of his fingers.

Grace looks at him in silence. She can tell by the way he moved his body on hers so perfectly that Ian had far more experience with sex than she had thought, and pangs of jealousy pummel her heart.

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, I’m not mad at all. I just…You’ve done that more than once, huh?”

“I told you, I had an older girlfriend. She taught me all sorts of things to do.”

Unable to control her emotions, shock and confusion fall on her face. “Was it any good with me?”

“Baby, please don’t be upset. When I had sex with Heather, it was just sex. What we just did was making love. It was amazing. I’ve never felt like that before. I didn’t love Heather. I love you,” he says, as he brushes his fingers across her face. “I love you so much, so freakin much.”

“I love you too,” she smiles.

From that day on, every moment they could spend alone, they spend making love. Grace’s love for Ian grows stronger than it has ever been, and she believes the same is true for him. More than that, she trusts him more than she has ever trusted another soul. She can share everything with him. It is as if making love united them in more than just a physical way. They truly became one that day, sharing their bodies, minds, and souls.

Despite knowing that she is madly in love with Ian, Grace hates sneaking around with him. She usually has to lie to James and Michelle to be alone with Ian, to make love to him, and it really hurts her to be untruthful with the two people with whom she has always been honest.

Lately Grace has noticed that James is increasingly more suspicious of her relationship with Ian. He makes comments all the time regarding his suspicions. Grace knows the fact is, no matter how cool James tries to be and how much he wants to be a brother and not a father, he will never accept her having sex with Ian.

“When will they be back?” asks Ian, as he and Grace lie naked on her bed, taking advantage of their first alone time in days.

“A couple hours, I guess. I think the movie was two hours long and they’ll probably go grab a bite to eat.” She sighs, feeling exhausted from an intense session of making love. She lies across his chest with her legs still wrapped around either side of him.

“So do you think we are cool to lay here like this for a while?” he asks, as he runs his fingers through her hair.

“Yeah.”

“Good, cause I want to talk to you.”

“Okay?” she asks, apprehensively.

“About L.A.”

Her heart drops. She doesn’t want another argument about why they should stay or why they should go. It seems to be the only thing that starts a fight between them.

“I’ve decided to stay,” Ian says.

Her heart skips a beat. She pops up and looks at him in shock. “What?” she shouts.

“I said, I’ve decided to stay.” His mouth swoops up into a sly grin and his eyes sparkle.

She lands on his chest with a thud and kisses him rapidly all over his face. “Are you serious?
”.

“Yeah, baby, I’m serious. I can’t live without you.”

“We can be happy here, Ian, we can!” she says, trying to convince herself as well as him.

“I know we can, because we are.” He smiles.

He grabs her face with both of his hands and stares at her intently. “Grace Hathaway, will you marry me?”

She almost falls over off his body, but he grabs her so that she does not. She looks at him in shock. She cannot seem to catch her breath. She wants nothing more than to be his wife. Her future flashes rapidly through her mind, and she can see nothing but him.

“Yes!” She yells. “Yes, yes, yes! Yes, I do. I mean I will!”

Ian reaches into her nightstand. She looks at the nightstand, then at him, then at the nightstand again, mystified. From the nightstand, he pulls out a tiny black box. He opens it slowly to reveal a ring. It is a simple, one stone gold ring.

“You had it in there the whole time?” she asks.

He winks at her and slowly nods. His shaking hand slips the ring on her finger. Her eyes become enormous,
then
she lands on his chest again, throws her arms around him, and kisses him. She cannot recall ever feeling so loved or so happy. Their kiss immediately becomes passionate and heavy with desire. She smiles at his hand reaching between her legs, arousing her even more as he strokes her. She buries her head into his neck and moans softly.

With his two fingers, he circles around her clitoris, moistening her skin with her own wetness. He easily inserts his fingers inside of her. She lifts her body up into a sitting position. Sitting on his hand, her body moves in the same motion as his hand does. She moans out of pure pleasure. He lifts her up by her bottom, puts himself inside of her, and then sets her down on top of him. She cries out in elation, unable to keep quiet. Bearing down on him she pushes herself in forceful, rhythmic movements. He thrusts harder and harder inside her as they both moan out, “I love you.”

Grace’s bedroom door flies open and James stands in the doorway looking furious. His jaw is taut and his face is reddened. Grace jumps off Ian, bringing the sheet from her bed and covering her body. Ian grabs a pillow to cover
himself
and scampers toward the headboard.

“What the fuck is going on here?” James yells. “Get your fucking hands off my sister, you little pig!”

Before she can do anything, James grabs Ian off the bed and has
him
pinned to the wall by his throat.

“Stop, stop it! You’re hurting him!” she screams, as she pulls on James’ arm.

James pushes Grace and she falls onto the floor. He releases Ian who drops to the floor grabbing at his throat, choking and coughing.

James rushes to Grace’s side, kneeling next to her and reaches out for her arm. “Grace, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

“Don’t touch me!” she yells. “Get out! Just get out!” she says, half crying and half yelling. The lump in her throat threatens to choke her.

James’ eyes dart from Ian lying on the ground struggling to breathe, to her, lying on the hardwood floor barely covered by the white sheet. She notices that her nipple is uncovered and sees that James notices it at the same time. His eyebrows wrinkle together in anger and she can see the skin on his neck begin to flush. Quickly she covers herself, but it is too late.

He points to Ian and growls, “You’re not welcome in my home anymore. You get your shit and you get the fuck out now!” He leaves the room, slamming the door so hard that many of Grace’s trinkets fall from her dresser to the floor, smashing to pieces.

“Are you okay?” Ian asks, as he scoots across the floor to her side.

Stunned, Grace only nods as she pulls the sheet around her shivering body as if to protect herself from everything that has just happened. Ian stands, still naked, and puts his hand out to her. She takes his hand and when she rises a sharp pain stabs her hip and she winces.

Ian bends slightly to examine her hip. “It’s already bruising.” His fingers graze her leg.

“We need to get dressed,” she says, her gaze falling on the red marks on Ian’s neck in the shape of James’ fingers.

Ian stands up straight and takes her into his arms. Knowing she does not have time to stay comforted there, she pushes away. “Get dressed, Ian.”

They both rush to their clothes and pull them on as fast as they can. Grace bends down and reaches for the sheet that is still lying on the floor. The flare from the sunlight catching on the diamond on her finger grips her attention. Kneeling down she stares at her engagement ring. Ian’s hand on her shoulder pulls her out of her reverie.

“It’ll be okay, baby. We’ll go talk to him when he calms down.”

James’ heavy footsteps startle Grace as she rises to her feet and throws the sheet onto the bed.

Without knocking James once again barges into her room. “I thought I told you to get the fuck out!”

“James, please,” Grace pleads.

“Out!”

Turning to look at Ian she nods, telling him to leave the room. “Go pack,” she says, the words barely coming out in a whisper.

She has never seen her brother so angry. His eyes follow Ian’s every move as he scurries past him.

“James, please listen to me. I love—”

“I don’t want to hear it. What is wrong with you? What are you thinking?”

“I love him!”

“You’re too young to know what love is, Grace. You’re just a kid!”

“I’m not a kid!”

“I can’t believe you would lie to me. That you would take the trust I have in you and destroy it like this. I raised you better than this. I didn’t raise you to be a slut!”

That one word breaks her heart into pieces and she can no longer control the tears. Falling to her bed she throws her hands over her face and sobs.

“I don’t want to listen to your crying. I want you both out of my house.”

His words crush and surprise her. “What?”

“You heard me! Get the fuck out! If you want to act like a slut, you can do it living in the back seat of your boyfriend’s shitty car. I’m not going to work my ass off to support you and take care of a liar!”

“I had to lie to you!” she yells, sitting up, bracing herself with her hands on either side of her, her knuckles digging into her bedspread. “You wouldn’t accept the truth if I tried to give it to you.”

James stares at her wordlessly then turns his back to her and walks to the door.

“James, please! I know what I’m doing. We’re in love. You can’t expect me to stay a little girl forever. Please don’t be mad and don’t kick us out. We have nowhere to go.”

James stops, his back still turned to her. Her eyes follow down his arms and land on his fists which are tightly clenched.

“Get out and take your loser boyfriend with you, Grace.”

Ian rushes to pack the little bit of things he kept at Grace’s home. He hears James and her shouting at each other upstairs and wants to rush to her rescue, but figures he would only make things worse. Looking around the tiny guest room, his stomach sinks. He is packed in less than thirty minutes. He decides that waiting to talk to Grace out by his car is the best option.

Even out on the street he can hear rage coming from the normally quiet, peaceful home. Shock consumes him as he watches Grace come out of the front door with her suitcases in her hand. He runs up the walkway and takes the bags from her. Her face appears stoic, but the redness and puffiness of her eyes betrays her.

Feeling confused he places his hand on her lower back and leads her to the car. As Ian puts her last suitcase into the trunk of his beat up old Chevy Nova, she turns around to gaze at her family’s home. Her hand rushes to her mouth as she tries to control her tears and this makes his heart ache. He has never seen her so sad and is at a loss of how to comfort her. There is no sign of James or Michelle in any of the windows or the front door. The house looks cold and desolate as the snow drifts down in large flakes from the gray sky, not warm and welcoming as it has been for the last few months.

Grace wipes the tears away onto the sleeve of her jacket and then throws her arms around him. While he is relieved that she chose him over her family, he never wanted it to go this way. Removing her arms from around his neck, Ian grabs her by her waist and leads her to the passenger side. He helps her into the car and shuts the door. He walks to the trunk and gently closes it. His only concern is getting her away from James and his fury. He takes a moment and pauses to look at the house that had become his new home. His heart breaks, almost like it is actually tearing in two. Not even his own parents treated him as well as James did and now he has ruined any respect James had for him. He climbs in the driver’s side and stares at Grace wondering what to do next.

Grace turns her head and looks out the window. “Let’s go to L.A.”

The engine roars to a start and Ian speeds off down the street and out of town.

The trip down the Oregon coast is a brutal one. Grace sobs on and off the entire time. Keeping her focus on the passing scenery, she completely ignores Ian. As she draws broken hearts on the steamed window, she wonders how long they have been driving. She knows it has been hours, but is unsure of the exact amount.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ian’s voice comes gently.

“No!” She did not mean to snap at him, but her emotions are all over the place. Not turning to face him, she still feels his eyes burning on the back of her.

As they drive along the coast, Grace continues to stare out the window.
What have I done?
She is angry with herself. She is angry with James, and she is angry with Ian. She is confused, hurt, scared, and unsure of what lies ahead for her.
For crying out loud, I’m engaged and on my way to living in California!
What have I done?

This is not the way her life was supposed to be. She knows this is most certainly not the way that her brother, who supported her both emotionally, and financially her entire life, envisioned her future. The silence in the car only leads her mind to a darker place and she longs for some kind of distraction. She takes a heavyhearted sigh and then reaches for the stereo, turning it on.

“Jaden is working on cleaning out rooms for us,” Ian says, sounding timid, breaking a long silence between them.

Grace looks at him with a blank expression.

“He said the rooms are really big and it’s cool that we don’t have rent money right now.”

Grace turns her head back to the window, once more focusing her gaze on the passing landscape and completely ignoring Ian.

A couple hours go by, and Ian can no longer take her silence.

“You have to talk to me, babe. You can’t just sit there ignoring me all the way to California.”

“What exactly would you like me to say, Ian?” Her voice is cold and harsh.

“I just want to know how you’re feeling and what is going through that head of yours. You’ve been staring out the damn window for hours now.”

Grace gives him a heavy sigh and a tear trickles down her face. Ian pulls the car over on the side of the road. He cannot concentrate on driving with the tension between them. Looking past Grace, Ian catches a glimpse of a stunning vista overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Jagged rocks jut out of the ocean and the sea is raging below them. They should both enjoy the beautiful scenery, pointing out things of interest and gasping together. Instead, it’s a harsh reminder of the events that brought them to this point.

Ian reaches for her and pulls her close to him. At this, Grace loses all self-control and falls apart in his arms.

“It’s going to be okay. I promise. I’m going to take care of you,” he says, doing his best to comfort her.

“I’m scared, Ian. I haven’t even finished high school. I’m not even going to graduate from Lincoln. I miss my brother. I miss my sister and I miss my house!”

“Then I don’t understand why you left?”

“He kicked me out, Ian!” she says, abruptly. “What other choice do I have but to go to California with you? Where else could I have gone?”

Her words and tone wound him. “So, you didn’t come with me because you couldn’t stand for me to leave without you? You didn’t choose to come with me because you love me?” he asks, with deep sorrow in his voice. He tries to stifle it, but there is no use. Grace has reached into his chest and pulled his heart out with her bare hands.

Unable to control his emotions, he needs to get away from her. Ian gets out of the car and walks to the edge of the cliff. The sky crackles above him as he throws his face into his hands. As the sky opens up and pours rain, Ian cries. The exact circumstances as to why Grace emerged from her house with her suitcases was not clear to him, and now he feels foolish for thinking she chose to leave her family for him. The truth behind why she is now sitting in his car, an emotional wreck, wounds his heart.

In her chest, physical pain stabs Grace as she watches Ian standing close to the edge of the cliff, his face in his hands, his body shivering and convulsing because he is crying. She knows she has deeply hurt him, but she is angry with him. She knows it is not only his fault. What happened is just as much her fault as it is his, but she cannot control her resentment toward him. She stays in the car and sobs as he stands looking out over the ocean, rain pouring over him as he stands still in the same spot.
I should go to him
, she thinks as she continues to stare, then she quickly turns her gaze away from him and back out the passenger side window. She tries to calm herself while she wipes her tears onto the sleeve of her sweater.

Ian returns to the car about fifteen minutes later, soaked through to his skin. Grace has since finished her bout of crying, but her eyes are still red and sore.

“I’m taking you back,” he says, directly and she notices he has little feeling in his voice.

Grace looks at him, shocked. “No, Ian! That’s not what I meant.”

He looks at her with pain seeping from his entire face. “You’re everything I have in this world, Gracie. You’re
my
everything
. Nothing else in my life makes me happy the way you do and as far as I’m concerned, I need nothing else in life but you. But I’m not
your
everything
,” he says, sadly.

These words break her heart and pierce her soul. He is her everything. Asking herself one question helps her to open her mind and step past the grief.
If I had not gone with Ian, how would I feel right now?
Before she speaks, she thinks of what he has just said. It sinks in and she realizes that although she does love her family, Ian is her world. He is more important to her than anything or anyone else. He is more valuable to her than her own life. She reflects on what would happen if she did go back. If she allows Ian to take her back home, James will forbid her from seeing him. She cannot live that way. She has to be with him every moment that she can or her life would mean nothing.

“Ian, I love you so much. You
are
my everything
. I’m just upset. I’m confused and hurt. I want to go with you. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I just need some time to process everything that has happened,” she says, shaking her head. “I can’t live without you. I choose you over my family, over my home, and, Ian…” She pauses and reaches for his hand. “I do this gladly. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”

The confused look he gives her is understandable. First, she is a wreck because she already misses home, and now she wants to go with him. The red shade of his skin says that he does not know what to make of her and that she is pissing him off. He sits still with his hands on the steering wheel looking out at the raging ocean and storm before them. His breathing is shallow and rapid. His eyes are red and watery.

“Do you still want to marry me?” he asks, without looking at her.

Without hesitation, she answers, “Yes, of course!” There is nothing she wants more than to spend the rest of her life with him. She knows in her gut that she is meant to be with Ian and regardless of her age, she does not see any reason why they should wait to get married.

“And you’re sure you want to start our life together in L.A.?”

She gives him a sigh and a sweet smile. “I’m just scared, Ian. This is all new to me. I’ve never even left Ocean View in my life. But, yes, I’m sure. Please don’t take me back there.”

Ian stares at her for a long moment then starts the car and heads south in the direction of Los Angeles, without another word.

They stop for the night in a small town that only occupies each side of the highway. Ian pulls the car up to a seaside motel and kisses Grace before exiting. A storm is raging on outside of the car as Grace watches Ian run into the motel’s lobby. When he returns to the car, he is soaked from head to toe. Holding up the plastic key card, he smiles. “Your suite
awaits
.”

They are both exhausted and overwhelmed with so many different emotions. Ian slides the key in the slot and the door opens and hits their noses with a foul smell. Wrinkling his nose Ian looks at her, smiling. He holds the door open for Grace and she lugs a suitcase in her hands as she enters the room. Ian, who carries his suitcase and another of Grace’s, walks over to a lamp that stands near a beat up, old, wooden dining table.

There is only one chair seated by the table that has rips in its gaudy orange upholstery. It takes her a moment to place the smell,
then
Grace notices that the room smells like mold and cigarettes. Ian rushes over to the closet, unfolds the luggage rack, drops the bags he was carrying on it, walks up to Grace, and delicately removes her suitcase from her cold, wet hands. She slowly eases herself onto the orange, brown, and green striped bedspread. “Do you think I can call Michelle?”

“I don’t see why not.”

Grace picks up the telephone immediately after she hears the word “not” and dials her home phone number.

“Hello?” asks Michelle.

“Missy,” Grace says, with a heavy breath. She is so relieved to hear her sister’s voice.

“Oh
my gosh
, where are you?” Michelle asks, frantically. “What the hell happened?”

“We’re on our way to L.A. I’m okay.”

“What!” Michelle gasps. “What are you doing? Why are you…
”
She stops. “I love you,” says Michelle.

“I love you, too. I just wanted you to know that I’m okay. We got a motel on the coast and we’ll be heading out again tomorrow morning. We’re moving in with Ian’s friend Jaden that I told you about.” Grace pauses and takes a deep breath. “Also, I want you to be the first to know that Ian and I are engaged.”

“Holy shit!” Michelle shouts in excitement. “Umm wow! Well, congratulations.” Michelle takes a deep breath. “I’ll let James know?” she asks, cautiously.

Grace is not sure if she wants James to know or not. She knows he is not stupid, he will figure out what she and Ian are up to eventually, if he has not already, and besides, she is furious with him.

“Don’t tell him a thing.”

“Okay, whatever you want. Please call me and let me know when you get there and give me your new address.”

Grace hears the strain in Michelle’s voice and she fights back the tears. “I will, Missy, don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

“I know you will,” Michelle says, softly.

Grace hangs up the telephone. She sits on the flashy motel bedspread, facing the window. She watches the storm through the open curtains. The sadness in Michelle’s voice reminded her of everything that happened.

For a brief moment in the car and when they first walked into the motel room, she almost felt as if they were just on a quick vacation.

Ian walks over to the bed and sits next to her. Nudging her with his elbow, and with a smile, he asks, “You okay, baby?”

Grace faces him and gives him a weak smile. She is trying to be strong and keep her feelings about missing her family to herself, so she does not upset him again.

A loud crash of thunder makes her jump. Ian throws his arm around her back and pulls her to him. She lays her head on his shoulder as he takes her by the hand.

“I love you, Gracie,” he says, placing a soft kiss on her head.

“I love you, too.”

He lifts her head up so that her lips are inches away from his. Warm breath escapes through a tiny part in his lips, hitting her cheek. He kisses her again, this time easing his tongue inside her mouth. She welcomes his kiss by returning it back to him. Ian breaks from their kiss and walks over to the window, closing the curtains. He walks to the door, grabs the Do Not Disturb sign, opens the door, and hangs it on the outside. He double-checks the deadbolt to make sure it is locked and gives the door a little tug. This little gesture shows concern for her safety and makes her appreciate him all the more.

Standing still, taking deep breaths into his lungs, he stares at her. Her chest becomes heavy as she watches his rise and fall. His eyes wash over her entire body making her feel timid. He tilts his head and his mouth sweeps into a smile. The twinkle in his eyes tells her that he loves her. Without words, only with the smile he is wearing and the gleam in his eyes, he tells her that he wants nothing but the best for her and that he would protect her with his life. She smiles at him, and this only causes his smirk to grow wider.

Ian walks to the bed and lifts her wet blouse up slowly. The sensation the wet fabric brings to her cold, damp skin is tantalizing. Her arms rise as he slips the blouse over her head and off her. As he looks down at her she cannot help gasping at how beautiful he is. Leaning down, his lips graze hers. His hot breath moistens her awaiting lips. He struggles shortly with her bra, but then finally frees her from it. As he slips it off, her body tingles with the anticipation of what he is about to do to it.

He drops to his knees on the floor before her, in between her legs, and gently grabs her breasts with both of his hands. Tilting his chin up
he
takes her breast into his mouth. The warm wetness of his tongue sends shivers over her body. He sucks on her nipple harder. She lets out a breath she felt as though she had been holding in for a lifetime, as her head falls backwards in delight. Ian sucks on her breasts,
moves his lips
along the side of her torso, and onto her stomach. He is devouring her. Slowly he lays her on the bed and peels her damp skirt from her body, leaving her only wearing her moist panties that are not wet from the rain.

“I love you, baby,” he whispers.

With an abrupt movement, he pulls on her hips, bringing her backside to the edge of the bed. His nose slides up and down her panties as he inhales. The uncontrollable throbbing between her legs threatens to drive her insane.

“You always smell so pretty.” His words are heavy with heated breath that warms her skin.

She squirms with desire while he continues his sweet torture.